Author's Note: Okay, first off, you guys said a lot of very interesting things about Regner, conisdering later events. I'm not going to really respond to what Warrior said due to spoilers, but I can answer Awsomewriter's comment about Regner being bipolar. The interesting thing is that Regner is not bipolar, but his captain of the guard, Deathblaze, actually is. In fact, Deathblaze has a whole lot of screwed-up mental disorders, as you'll see in two chapters when he actually starts to do stuff.
Secondly, if you thought Regner was weird, you're going to flip when you see his tactician Ballantyne, who's introduced here. Try not to jump to any conclusions about him, though; his appearence and speech will probably distract you from what's really going on.
Anyways, it's kind of a short chapter, really just introducing Ballantyne.
XV: The Mess
Kalzmar and Corzon exited Regner's office to find one of the lizards, Darkscale, engaged in conversation with Scout Commander Golding. The weasel looked up at the lizards as they returned.
"What 'appened?" Golding asked, "Did he make ya part of the horde or sumthin'?"
"Yez," Kalzmar responded simply, "He zed you take uz to mezz hall."
"He alzo zed not lizten to you," Corzon added. There was a sudden chorus of laughter as Golding and his cronies heard this. The lizards didn't know what exactly was so funny about the situation.
"Of course he'd say that, not to listen to me," Golding snickered, "The poor ol' weasel don't know it, but it's not me that's plottin' behind his back. It's his tacti-whatever, Ballantyne. That ferret's got him believin' anything he says. So, Ballantyne told Regner that it was me doin' all the plottin', but it iddn't true."
The lizards all looked at Golding blankly, saying nothing. The laughing ceased. After a few seconds, Golding continued, "Com'n, let's go to the mess hall, it ain't far from here." He motioned forward with his saber, and the entire group began heading back the way they came.
As they marched down the spiral staircase, the stoat from the top of the wall, Deathblaze, brushed past them on his way up. The stoat was sturdily built, with a piercing gaze, and dressed in a brown long-sleeved jacket. Golding shied away from Deathblaze's eyes and attempted to ignore him. The stoat continued his way up, moving past the lizards and Golding's underlings silently.
When Deathblaze had vanished, Golding turned to the lizards and said, "That 'un is plottin' with Ballantyne. Ya can't trust him, although I don't know why anybeast would want to either way. He fights all the time, y'know."
Kalzmar thought it was funny that Deathblaze would be plotting against Regner, especially since Golding had previously called him Regner's "pet killer". Regner was right: it seemed as if Golding was the one that really couldn't be trusted. Instead of saying this, however, she said, "I didn't zee zcarz. Don't he get hurt?"
Golding snickered again. "Of course he gets hurt, I've seen him half-dead with mebbe three or four arrers stickin' out of him. He just covers 'em all up with his jacket, y'see. It gives the impression that he ain't never been touched in battle, but it's just a trick. Now, look, we're at the mess hall."
The weasel opened up a set of double doors that had been in front of him and walked into the next room. Kalzmar and the rest followed. The mess hall wasn't very interesting, just a big room with a lot of tables and some windows here and there. At one end of the room was a tapestry that displayed Regner striking down a badger valiantly, with the weasel warlord portrayed in such a way that one might have considered him angelic.
As soon as Golding walked into the room, he was met with a small amount of cheering. Regner had been right; Golding was popular. While almost every table was filled and some creatures were even eating on the floor, there was one table in the middle of the room that was completely empty, reserved for Golding and his "mateys".
"'Ello, everybeast!" Golding announced cheerily, "These lizards here are joinin' the horde. I don't want to see anybeast messin' 'round with 'em, y'hear?" Golding then proceeded to his reserved table, and offered the lizards a seat.
"Why're ya bein' so friendly to the lizards?" whispered Hairmold to Golding as the posse all took their seats.
"I need more allies," Golding whispered back, "Now, shut up an' be nice."
The group all sat around the empty table silently. A few moments passed, and then Golding burst out laughing. "Of course! There's no grub!" he exclaimed merrily. Kalzmar and Corzon, for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, exchanged glances. Why was everyone around here so weird? "Valla, Amora, go get us sumthin' to eat!"
"Why us?" one of the ferret twins (there was no way of telling which one) replied indignantly.
"Why not?" Golding shrugged. Grumbling, the two ferrets got up and walked away from the table. Turning back to the lizards, the scout commander resumed his explanation on the workings of Regner's horde. "Now, if ya ever have the displeasure of meetin' Ballantyne, then I suggest ya run as fast as ya can before he starts talkin', else you wanna be bored to death. He's the biggest windbag on the face of the—"
"What did you just utter?!"
The entire room, which had been bustling with noise and activity, suddenly fell silent. Every creature turned from their meals, watching as a solitary ferret swiftly marched down the center of the room, stopping just in front of the table where Golding was sitting. The scout commander smiled.
"'Ello, Ballantyne. Fancy meetin' you here, I thought ya liked to eat in yer room."
Ballantyne, size-wise, was like any other ferret- tall and a little lanky. However, he didn't look like any other ferret in existence. Unlike the other vermin, who were all unbelievably dirty, Ballantyne was impeccably groomed. He wore a bright red vest, with a small golden chain hanging out of the pocket. His paws were folded behind his back, and he stood incredibly straight. In his left eye was a perfectly polished monocle, completing the image. Also unlike all the other vermin in the room, he was completely unarmed.
"Lord Regner the Magnificent informed me that he had just recently enlisted the aid of the lizards that conquered Redwall approximately one season prior to today. I ventured down to this decrepit appendix in order to survey the lizards in question so that I could better formulate my strategies of deep and brilliant genius," replied Ballantyne in one quick, rapid breath, "However, as I performed my entrance, I was assaulted by a mixture of foul insults to my name, of which I am greatly displeasured by. I require an explanation to these actions immediately."
Kalzmar and the other lizards suddenly understood what Golding had meant; Ballantyne talked more then the scout commander and the warlord combined. And half of the words that he had said didn't even sound like real words. What was a "decrepit appendix" supposed to be?
"Well, Ballantyne," Golding spat, "I was just talkin' 'bout how much of a stupid windbag yew are, that's all."
Ballantyne recoiled back in disgust, the monocle glimmering back and forth in the light. "You, you, you, you scoundrel! Stupid windbag indeed! Why, I can engage in that sort of discussion as well, if you wish it. I can inform you all about your foolish father and how he betrayed Lord Regner the Magnificent and got himself slain, if you wish it. My, if there ever was a stupid windbag, it certainly was that putrid, utterly useless father of yours, Golding!"
Golding suddenly leaped up from the table and thrust his saber forward, stopping it inches from Ballantyne's nose. The scout commander's entourage jumped up as well, their weapons drawn too. The lizards sat silently.
Oddly enough, Ballantyne didn't even flinch. He merely smiled a very knowing smile. After a few moments, Golding drew back his sword and sat back down again, shortly followed by the rest of his crew.
"One day, Ballantyne, yew ain't gonna have ol' Deathblaze around to watch your back," Golding sneered, glimpsing over Ballantyne's shoulder at the stoat in question, who was leaning against a wall right under the tapestry of Regner, "An' when that day comes, yew will be sorry. Very sorry."
"And one day, Golding, I shall finally uncover absolute, irrefutable proof that you are forming a rebellion against Lord Regner the Magnificent, and have you swiftly and cleanly executed. Perhaps I shall fashion your fur into a trendy winter coat. Wouldn't that be just lovely?" Ballantyne winked at Golding with his right eye. "Now, I have viewed the lizards. I shall now depart for my abode, where I shall conceive an ingenious strategy in a state of deep, exalted meditation. Good day to you."
Ballantyne turned and marched back out the way he had come from. Golding looked up and saw that Deathblaze had vanished likewise. After a few moments, the vermin turned back to their meals, and the normal noises of the mess hall rose up again.
"Now who are ya gonna trust, me or that stupid windbag?" Golding asked.
Corzon and the other lizards all affirmed that they would trust the scout commander. But Kalzmar was skeptical. Everything about Golding just seemed so false.
Other Author's Note: This is just an interesting tidbit I'd like to tell you guys about Golding and Ballantyne, as I'm sure none of you really catch the allusions in their names. You see, in the 19th century, a man named R. M. Ballantyne wrote a story called Coral Island. It was about three boys who are shipwrecked on an island, become instant friends, are incredibly smart and resourceful, and make all kinds of things and classify the wildlife on the island and a bunch of really, really idealized stuff like that. Since this was Victorian England, many people thought that this was actually a realistic depiction of what would happen to shipwrecked boys.
Well, about a hundred years later, a mand named William Golding read that story and thought it was the biggest load of junk he'd ever read. So he wrote a parody of it, where the shipwrecked boys, instead of becoming friends and building all this great stuff, descended into savagery and killed each other. This book was called Lord of the Flies.
Just an interestign tidbit. I like to use all sorts of allusions, especially in the names of my characters. The character Wemys from Part 1 is named after a character in Lord of the Flies, as are his two siblings.