Author's Note: We're rapidly approaching the end of the story. Oo After this, only six chapters are left in Part III, and then there's the very short Epilogue.

XXXIII: The Duel

Those cheap, dirty hares.

Nevermind the fact that Regner had allowed his tactician Ballantyne to create even cheaper and dirtier schemes against the Long Patrol numerous times in the past, nevermind the fact that Regner had created an even cheaper and dirtier scheme himself by using a hostage, and definitely nevermind the fact that Regner had killed Lord Oxpaw in one of the most cheapest and dirtiest ways imaginable.

Those cheap, dirty hares.

The twenty-six members of his horde that were onshore with him were all yelling frantically, especially the five creatures he had dragged from Conrad's crew (well, four of them, at least; Davian just kind of looked on in awe). Regner had slowly walked from the front of his horde to the center, watching the ship- his ship- as it burnt to a crisp. It began to dip backwards, with the bowsprit pointing up (thusly, none of them were able to see Jeld and the rest make their escape). The ship then began to sink slowly.

Regner had forgotten completely about his mouse hostage in the confusion, and had relinquished him as he walked back into his horde. Caldwell's worked better that he had expected as the last thing Regner had in his favor hurried up the sand dune, tripping and falling due to his binds, and ran to the safety provided by the hares.

"We oughtta launch an offensive now, sah," Tabbins suggested as he ripped off the gag on Gerry and was bombarded with an onslaught of "Thank you"s and "I owe you my life"s.

"We can't," Caldwell replied, "Clements' faction is separated from us, and he doesn't now that we're gonna attack. We'd only be fightin' them with half our force. That'd cause unnecessary casualties, Tabbins. There's only about twenty of us left, and I don't want that number to get any smaller, you hear me?"

"Yes, sah," Tabbins replied as he severed Gerry's binds with a small knife. He wanted to protest, claiming that Clements would be able to catch on if they all charged down the hill, and that this would be the best chance to crush Regner's force, considering half of them had dropped their weapons as they watched their ship burn, but there was no talking Caldwell out of doing something, especially if he believed that there was a high risk of casualties. The hare had dropped his gray personality, but he had become overly cautious when anybeast was involved, other than himself. Tabbins knew that Caldwell wanted to try and take on the whole force by himself, and the only reason he wasn't being that he knew there'd be nobeast to stop the rest of them from joining him.

The ship was gone now, just a plume of smoke drifting away towards the horizon. Regner was now swearing and cursing amazingly loudly; presumably, he had just realized his hostage had run off.

"Everything was going RIGHT!!" Regner shouted hopelessly, "How'd this all happen?!"

"I'll tell ya how it happened!" shouted a voice from his horde. The rest of the group shuffled out of the way of the speaker, who was a lean, confident-looking stoat (the exact opposite of Buvul, who was cowering in the background, clutching his bolas to his chest tightly), as he marched forward towards Regner. The weasel didn't know his name; the only ones he knew were the five he had taken from Conrad and his two Captains Skrobb and Telson. "It happened cuz yew aren't as good as yew say y'are! I'll bet ya ain't even really Regner, jus' some little braggart who looks like him!"

There was a murmur; whether it was of agreement, Regner didn't know. The weasel drew his saber. He had resolved before any of this started that he would deal with any insubordination his way; there weren't any Ballantynes around to get rid of all the Goldings the "smart" way. "What's your name, stoat?" he demanded.

"They call me Schaeper," the stoat shot back, "An' I say we stop lissenen' ta ya an' go back home. It was nice an' all fer ya ta rescue us like that, but I don't wanna git killed jus' so yew can have some revenge. An' if ya wanna fight me fer it, then so be it! But know that if ya do that, then yer gonna hafta fight all of us!" He motioned at the rest of the group with a paw. Almost all of them looked eager to put an end to Regner, despite the fact that he had just saved them from a lot of torture and rowing. Only a handful seemed to be backing him, most notably Telson the ferret.

"'Ey," Telson suddenly spoke up, "this reminds me of this time, a long time ago, when I was fightin' under that one warlord, Saxel the Superb, an' then this one feller, name was Bottles… a nice feller, too, though his name was a bit funny… Too bad he got eaten alive by an adder! The poison didn't kick in quick 'nough, I guess, an' he was all gobbled up, still screamin' an' kickin'! An' if I hadn't been smart an' hid behind that one rock, I'd have been gobbled up too! Anywho, Bottles sed—"

"Do yew have a point or are ya jus' runnin' yer mouth?" snapped Skrobb, noticeably backing Schaeper, "Now, I gotta agree with this stoat here. I don't wanna fight no hares, I got 'nough of that a long time ago! I jus' wanna go back home!"

Regner was stewing in his own juices. Schaeper continued, "Now, we're all gonna leave, an' ya ain't gonna stop us, ya got that?!"

There was a pause; Regner said nothing in return. Schaeper shrugged, then began walking off, followed by most of the group. They had gotten a good distance away when Regner finally shouted, "Well, me and Telson here will take Salamandastron all by ourselves! Then you'll have wished that you've stayed here! Ha!"

Nobeast even turned around as they all began to slowly walk away. Regner surveyed what was left of his army. There was Telson, and a diminutive weasel, and the five of Conrad's group (all of which were only still there because they were down at the shoreline, silently mourning their lost friends), and that was it. Regner growled angrily.

"Hey, weasel!!" shouted Caldwell from the top of the dune. Regner suddenly grew very red. That stupid hare had heard all of that, hadn't he?

Caldwell began walking down from the dune, his small sword unsheathed. He had tricked Tabbins and the other hares into going back to Salamandastron, telling them that they needed to go make sure Gerry wasn't hurt or sick or anything. He had pretended to go with them, marching in the back for a short bit, before silently doubling back. From then, he had heard the last bits of Regner's short confrontation that ended in disaster for the weasel. But it was very fortunate for Caldwell.

There were only three creatures left down there (Caldwell saw Wemys and the other four on the shoreline, but they didn't look like they were going to do much anytime soon), and Caldwell was sure that he could take them by himself. If Tabbins and the rest were involved, somebeast other than him would get injured or even killed, he knew it. And even if Caldwell couldn't kill the three of them, he could at least take down Regner, and Caldwell had, as of late, developed a great desire to die. It sickened him, but he wanted to die nonetheless. He had to… atone for what he had done. Yes, atone was the right word.

"Hey, weasel!!" Caldwell repeated, now at the bottom of the dune. Regner looked at him, incredibly embarrassed and incredibly furious. Distantly, the thought that there might be a trap entered his mind, but Regner didn't care. While the weasel didn't particularly want to die, he suddenly found that he didn't quite care if he did, as long as he took that dirty hare with him.

"Don't you dare get into this," Regner snarled at his two loyal soldiers. Neither of them made a reply, but they both took a step back.

Without warning, Regner charged. Caldwell did too. They both met each other, and their swords clashed. Regner ducked under both swords and bit Caldwell in the arm. His sharp teeth dug deeply into Caldwell's flesh. The weasel tore off a chunk of meat, spraying blood everywhere, and spat it out, right in Caldwell's face. The hare responded by kicking Regner hard in the stomach. The weasel hurtled backward, falling in lump at the footpaws of Telson and the other weasel.

He was up in a flash. Regner was not deluded into thinking he was the greatest fighter ever. He had only told Wemys that he was better than Deathblaze to make him seem more intimidating; he didn't even attempt to think that the statement was factual. He had killed Oxpaw, yes, but by cheating. However, with the taste of his most hated foe's blood in his mouth, nothing was about to stop the two-time warlord. Roaring as loudly as he could, he sprang to his feet, actually throwing his saber at Caldwell. The hare attempted to deflect, but the fact that a chunk of his arm was missing made him raise his sword slower than he had anticipated. The saber bounced off the small sword at an odd angle, spinning around and delivering a large gash to the hare's shoulder before it was knocked backwards into the ground.

Then Regner tackled the hare. The short sword went flying likewise, ending up sticking out of the sand perfectly vertically. The two became embroiled in a very bloody brawl, with Regner using his fangs and Caldwell using his hook paw.

"Think we oughtta step in?" muttered the diminutive weasel to Telson, "Regner could get seriously hurt there."

"Nah," the ferret replied, "Regner's got a grudge against that hare. Ya don't interfere with grudges. I once knew a rat, name was Arckle, an' he…" Telson began to retell a series of tales at that.

Caldwell sunk his hook deep into Regner's shoulder. The weasel snarled; that was the same arm that had been broken in his battle with Oxpaw, and it was still a little sore. In retaliation, he attempted to claw his way towards Caldwell's face, where he would eat the hare's eyes out of their sockets. Caldwell used his free paw to try and clamp Regner's jaw shut, but it only wound up partially in the weasel's mouth. Regner bit down hard, severing one of the fingers and tearing up the others.

The colonel kicked up again with both legs, shoving Regner off of him. The hook was ripped out of the weasel's shoulder, red and shiny. The weasel flew back through the air and landed a few lengths away with a dull plop. Caldwell leapt up and ran at Regner, then began to kick him furiously in the head.

"Uh, Telson, it looks like Regner's losin'," the small weasel pointed out, cutting off a story about a stoat who had been completely de-limbed by a hungry eagle before finally having his head crushed by a huge boulder that happened to fall off a cliff an hit him. "Mayhap we oughtta step in now."

Telson looked at the situation briefly. Regner had pretty much been kicked into unconsciousness, and Caldwell was not letting up, despite the fact that he was bloody all over, missing a finger, and profusely bleeding from the hole Regner had bitten out of his arm.

"Yeah, mayhap yer right," the ferret replied. In a flash, the two dashed at Caldwell. The short weasel held a sword to the hare's neck and Telson had his hatchet between the hare's ears.

"Uh… Stop kickin' Regner or we'll kill ya!" the miniscule weasel squeaked, his sword quivering. Caldwell actually did stop kicking Regner for a second, and then continued without a second thought.

"Don't kill him," Telson snapped, "Or Regner'll be really mad when he wakes up. Uh… Make sure he doesn't kill Regner, I'll be right back!" The ferret dashed off, leaving the weasel to stand there nervously. Caldwell continued kicking Regner savagely, and the weasel wondered if Regner was actually dead.

Then, suddenly, Telson leapt out of nowhere, tackling Caldwell to the ground. Swiftly, he dealt a blow to the hare's head with a small rock. Caldwell slumped over, unconscious.

"Learned that trick from a feller name Aldana," the ferret explained as he rose from the ground, "Nice feller, until an arrer hit him in the eye! Course, even then, he still had this silly grin on his face, an' it creeped us all out, so we buried him quick an' got outta there quick as possible!"

"Ha!" the short weasel shouted to the air, ignoring Telson's macabre tale, "We captured their leader! Y'hear that, Schaeper?! We captured their leader!!! An' yew all thought we couldn't capture Salamandastron by ourselves! Well, yew were wrong!!! HA!"

---

"Yew hear sumthin'?" Schaeper asked. The group halted, all of them suddenly becoming silent. They hadn't walked very far at all; they weren't even off of the beach yet.

"Hear wot?" demanded Skrobb, "I didn't hear nuttin'. Now, let's git out o' here. I wanna go home."

"Nah, I heard it too!" exclaimed Karder, Reyla's mate. Other members of the group started to agree as well, to Skrobb's dismay. The rat found that he wanted to go home very, very badly and that he didn't like seeing all these… vermin. He hated anything and everything that wasn't himself.

"It sounded like lil' Reiss," Schaeper announced, "Didn't he stay back with Regner an' Telson?"

Before anybeast could make a reply, the small weasel named Reiss shouted again. It sounded little more than a tiny squeak from the distance they were at (Reiss wasn't a very loud creature), but it was audible. Reiss spouted a lot more "Take that, Schaeper!"s and "We captured their leader!"s.

"Uhhh… Somebeast, go check it out," Schaeper ordered. A regular-looking ferret complied, swiftly running back to see what was amiss.

A minute or so later, the ferret returned. "Well, from wot I saw, it looks like Reiss an' Telson captured that one leader hare, and Regner looks kinda dead." He shrugged, and then vanished back into the group.

"Hmm…" Schaeper began, pondering this, "If they caught the leader of the Long Patrol… Then maybe we do have a chance! In fact, a bunch of leaderless hares against us… that would be an easy battle!"

"No!" Skrobb quickly snapped, "We don't have a leader, either! Didn't ya hear? Regner's dead! We oughtta jus' go home right now, like we were gonna do! Or didja only wanna go home cuz yew was losin'?"

"Who said that Regner has ta be our leader?" Schaeper demanded, "I'm a perfectly able leader! I'll lead ya all ta victory! Don'tcha all think so?" Among the crowd, there were a few affirmative responses. Most of the group, however, just looked forward blankly. "Well, we got their leader as a hostage now, an' that's way better than some stupid mouse! We've got the advantage! Think of all the riches in that mountain! Once we take it over, it'll be a great new home, don'tcha think?"

There were a few more affirmative responses. "Well, I'm not gonna risk my hide just fer yew to get a fancy mountain," Skrobb snapped, "I'm goin' home, an' everybeast who wants ta come with me, let's go."

"Do yew even know the way back ta yer home?" Schaeper snapped. Skrobb and the handful of vermin who had sided with him looked around uneasily. After a few seconds, many of them moved over to Schaeper's side. "It's a dangerous world out there, y'know. Filled with all kinds o' ghoulies. Didn't ya ever hear anything Telson ever said? Yew can git yer head bitten off by snakes an' giant birds an' all kinds o' monsters!"

The remainder of Skrobb's little group remembered all the stories Telson told in gory, bloody detail. All of them, with the exception of Skrobb himself, moved back to Schaeper's side.

Skrobb looked back nervously at the forest that he would have to traverse. He hated to admit it, but Schaeper was right. He didn't know the way back, and while he didn't believe any monster snakes were going to eat him, he knew there were all kinds of vermin bands roaming about that would take great pleasure in stealing everything he had (which wasn't much; just his cutlass) and throwing him in the stream, weighted down by rocks. Reluctantly, he moved over to Schaeper's side.

The stoat smiled. "Okay, then. Let's go capture ourselves a mountain!"

---

Wemys, Yugu, Kleid, Murkeye, and Davian all stood on the shoreline, still looking at the spot where the ship had burned into nothingness, along with all of their friends (at least, that's what they thought).

"Guess they're all dead…" Kleid muttered. She hadn't ever really liked any of them, but she hadn't really disliked any of them either, not even Swiss or Jeld. "Burning's a horrible way ta die, y'know. Slow, painful, and hot."

"I figgered," Murkeye replied solemnly, "Pretty lucky that Regner chose us ta git off the ship, or we'd have burned too. I guess now I'll never git that medal of mine back from Jeld, though."

"Conrad an' the rest are all dead an' all ya care 'bout is a stupid medal?" Wemys snapped. Murkeye merely shrugged.

"Funny, I only got off cuz Regner thought I looked nice," Kleid chuckled, "An' Wemys only got off cuz Regner knew yer brother an' thought ya might be a good fighter like him. I can jus' imagine his surprise when he finds out ya couldn't take on a fly an' win."

"Doesn't anybeast here have respect fer the dead?" Wemys demanded, "You two are talkin' 'bout how funny it is that ya got off an' how ya aren't gonna get yer medals back, Davian's jus' kinda walkin' around, an' Yugu is… Well, I dunno what Yugu's doin'." He looked at the other four accusingly.

"Yugu's cryin' over her mate, Garland," Murkeye pointed out, "And the only reason we ain't cryin' too is cuz we didn't really like any of the creatures on there. All they ever did was complain or steal our stuff."

"He ain't my mate," Yugu snapped, "Just a friend, that's all."

"Yeah, like we're gonna believe that fer two seconds," Kleid muttered, rolling her eyes, "Now, we need ta stop cryin' an' figger out wot we're gonna do next. Wot happened to Regner's horde?"

They turned around. Regner was a senseless bundle of fur on the ground. Telson and Reiss were tying up Caldwell, who was also out like a light.

"Guess now might be a good time ta make our escape," Murkeye pointed out. Unfortunately for them, at that exact moment, Schaeper led the rest of the horde over a sand dune and back down to where Regner was.