Author's Note: I don't see why this part seems shorter than the others. All three of them were exactly 13 chapters. In fact, this one's even longer than the other two, because the chapters have a lot greater length.
A bit of a filler chapter here, although it sets up the next chapter, which is pretty important.
XXXIV: The Remnants
If Schaeper and the rest of his group had managed to get over one more sand dune before hearing Reiss' shouts, they would have stumbled upon ten completely soaked creatures as they bumbled up to shore, sputtering and spitting out sea water.
Crowley clambered to shore first, where he proceeded to relocate his last few fingers. He had decided it wouldn't be too smart to swim straight to Regner, where they would be forced to do a suicide charge against the Long Patrol, and led the group a good distance away before having them finally get to shore. Behind him, the other nine emerged, with the few who couldn't swim (such as Garland) being supported by the ones who were strong swimmers (such as Curvetail).
Tadds crawled up, panting heavily, and threw down Jeld's two bags. It had been very difficult to keep them up above water, but he had been able to do it. He grinned victoriously before passing out on the sand.
In the back, being supported by both Swiss and Jeld, was Limptail. As he was pushed onto shore, the cutlass, now cooled by the sea water, finally left his paw and hit the sand with a thud. He had a blank expression on his face. Nobeast paid him any heed, however. There were more pressing issues at hand.
"Wot're we gonna do now?" Crowley asked as the other nine made their way up to him, "An' where's Conrad?"
"He's dead," mumbled Jeld. Crowley, an experienced mumbler, was able to understand what he had said and frowned.
"That means we need a new leader," the magician announced, "I say we take a vote."
"Isn't Weltsnout s'posed ta be in charge?" asked Lersot, "He's the second-in-command. Doesn't that mean that when it comes to commanding, he's second? Err… Or sumthin' like that."
The all looked at Weltsnout, who had removed both his eye and the splinter in it, leaving a dark hole in the side of his head. Despite this, he looked as if nothing was wrong at all. Several of the crew shuddered and looked away.
"Jeld, do yew have an eyepatch in that bag o' yers?" Curvetail questioned. Jeld shook his head.
"Wait!" exclaimed Rebule, "I've got an eyepatch!" Swiftly, he materialized the humungous thing Regner had worn when he had been Abren. He tossed it to Weltsnout, who cheerily put it on his face. He looked even more comical with it than Abren had looked.
"I don't even wanna ask why ya had that," Lersot muttered.
"Look," Crowley interrupted, changing the subject back to the question of leadership, "Weltsnout will stay second-in-command. That's a very important job, y'know. Somebeast who doesn't have an important job would hafta be leader, because if a creature with an important job did, then there'd be nobeast to do that job. Now, who doesn't have an important job 'round here?"
"Me!" Jeld exclaimed. He had already fished his golden coin out of his pack and had it in his mouth again. The stoat shuffled through his pack some more, pulled out yet another deck of cards, and stashed it in the folds of his cloak.
"Nah, Jeld, it can't be yew," Crowley announced, "Yew hafta look after all our supplies. It's gotta be somebeast like me, or Swiss!"
"Wot?" Swiss exclaimed, "My job is very important! I'm the head odd jobber, y'know!"
"Fine, then!" snapped Crowley, "Then it's gotta be somebeast like me, or Limptail!" He motioned at the ferret in question with a paw. Limptail was still sitting silently, clutching the sword he had brought with him.
"It could be me," Curvetail interjected, "I don't have no important job, an' I was already a senior member of the group, an' I'm the best fighter here, I'll bet. Except maybe fer Weltsnout. Everybeast says he's supposed to be like a miniature Percival or wotever, but I ain't ever seen him fight."
Crowley frowned. He had forgotten about Curvetail. He had hoped his little bit about the "important jobs" would have eliminated every competent creature from being eligible to lead, with the exception of him. "Yeah, but, uh, ya gotta be a bosun."
"Oh, stow it," Curvetail shot, "Nobeast here knows wot a bosun does, anyways. Now, I say I'm in charge, an' all who agree with me, say 'aye'!"
"Wait one minute," Garland announced, pointing a finger at Crowley accusingly, "When the first-in-command dies, the second-in-command takes his place, an' ya get a new second-in-command! That's the way it s'posed ta work!"
Jeld grabbed Garland by the neck and dragged him close. The gambler, with the coin still rolling around in his mouth, quickly whispered, "Yeah, most o' us know that. But Weltsnout ain't right in the head. We all know Conrad only made him second-in-command so he wouldn't leave like Percival and Connerie did. So, shut yer gob 'bout this an' let us work this out."
The stoat released Garland, and the ferret moved back a few steps. "Aye, I see. Yeah, I was wrong 'bout all that I jus' said, don't mind me…"
Curvetail continued his little speech. "Now, all who say I should be in charge, vote 'aye', ya got that?"
There were a myriad of ayes. The only creatures who didn't say aye were Tadds, who was unconscious on the beach, Limptail, who was still brooding over what had happened in the burning ship, and Weltsnout, who was busy adjusting his new eyepatch. Even Crowley said aye, knowing that there wasn't really a chance of him getting to be in charge at that point.
"Great," announced Curvetail, "Now, first order of business is ta arm ourselves. Jeld was smart enough ta bring his bag o' weapons, so let's go through it."
Jeld opened his second bag. "I'm 'fraid there ain't much in here, Curvy. Regner's bunch went through it afore they started their mutiny. They left that set o' bow an' arrers, but since Kleid ain't here, it's pretty much useless ta us. Crowley an' Limptail are gonna hafta use the weapons they have, fer starters."
"Ah, I don't wanna use this soggy spear," Crowley muttered. Nobeast paid him any heed.
"Let's see… I got a ball 'n chain thingamajig, that looks like sumthin' Curvy would want," Jeld tossed the weapon over to the new leader, who picked it up, smiling, "An' I got a chain thing, ya use it like a whip... I guess I'll leave that fer Tadds. Here's a regular old sword, I guess Garland can have that. Wot else is down here…? Not much… Ah, here's sumthin'. A hammer fer Lersot an' a large hook fer Rebule. Who does that leave…? Err… About fifty throwing knives. I guess they didn't like throwin' knives. I'll give that ta Weltsnout."
Jeld tossed the entire bag to Weltsnout, who shook it as if it were a present and he was trying to figure out its contents.
"Wait, what do I get?" asked Swiss, "As the head odd jobber, I need a very good weapon, y'know!"
"Hold on, I'll getcha sumthin!" Jeld snapped. He grabbed his second bag and began shuffling through it. Curvetail and Crowley exchanged glances, apprehensively wondering what kind of 'weapon' Jeld would have stored in his bag of random junk. At least it was only Swiss getting something from there. "Here ya go, a trick dagger." Jeld tossed a small knife over to Swiss. It hit the sand point down, and the blade instantly retracted into the hilt.
"Amazing!" Swiss exclaimed, "That's the best weapon ever!" He picked up the useless knife and jabbed forward with it, testing it out.
"Wot are yew gonna use, Jeld?" asked Curvetail, "Not another trick dagger, right? Yer one of our best fighters, ya need ta use a weapon that can at least, y'know, kill something."
Jeld smiled and pulled a deck of cards out of his cloak. The deck looked like all of his other decks, but the corners of the cards looked irregularly pointy. "Yew know me, Curvy, I always got a trick 'r two up my sleeve."
"Ah, Jeld, don't be dumb," Curvetail snapped, "Ya know those things don't work, right? We tried it out that one day on those trees, remember? They couldn't do nuttin'. Get yerself a better weapon."
"Be quiet," Jeld replied, "Yer jus' jealous cuz my weapon has style."
Curvetail was about to say something when Crowley interrupted. "Can we stop bickerin' over such stupid things an' figger out wot we're gonna do now?" he exclaimed. Jeld and Curvetail backed off.
"Well, we gotta rescue Yugu an' the rest of 'em," Garland announced, "An' I guess we oughtta get revenge on Regner fer muckin' everythin' up fer us, too."
"How're we gonna do that?" Crowley scoffed, "There's only ten of us, an' twenty of them. They got double our numbers, not to mention they all got real weapons, not trick daggers an' decks of cards. Plus, they got a seasoned warlord on their side. The best we got is Curvetail, an' maybe Weltsnout, if we make him mad."
"Wot if Weltsnout's actually better than Percival?" Jeld suddenly asked.
"I doubt that," Crowley muttered, "O' course, we got the element of surprise with us… Hmm… Mayhap we could team up with those hares? They seem to be in a pickle themselves, I wouldn't be surprised if they let us help 'em."
"I sure would," Curvetail laughed, "Have yew ever even talked ta a Long Patrol hare? Me an' Conrad an' Jeld did once, afore yew were even part of the group. Most prideful little prick I ever saw, that hare. Wouldn't say nuttin' except how we was all vermin, vermin, vermin. Said we oughtta all rot in a hole somewheres. Remember that, Jeld?"
"Yeah, we found him all beat up. Apparently, his squad got killed in some sneak attack an' he was left fer dead. He saw us comin', holed himself in between a couple of rocks, an' jabbed at us with his spear if we even came a little bit close. Wouldn't even ask us wot we wanted. Trust us, there ain't no way those hares would want our help."
"Then mayhap we can attack Regner when they're attackin' Regner," Crowley suggested. This was met with more criticism from the rest of the group.
Curvetail shook his head. "Yeah, an' when Regner's finished, they'll move right on ta us, no questions asked. I don't wanna deal with those hares one bit. Conrad was 'fraid of 'em, an' he was fer a good reason. We go on the battlefield when they're fightin', we're all gonna wind up dead."
"Then wot're we s'posed ta do?" Rebule asked, his eyes wide, "Wot if the hares know we're here right now? Wot if they're already plannin' to attack? Oh, we're through! Done for! Finished!"
"Shut up!" Curvetail snapped, "Leave the talkin' ta me an' Jeld an' Crowley. The rest of yew don't know wot yer talkin' 'bout, so shut up an' don't interfere, ya got that? Now, there's only ten of us here, yeah, but there's five more of us with Regner right now. That makes it fifteen against twenty, which aren't too shabby odds, considering we got the element of surprise with us."
"Yeah, but Kleid an' the rest don't even know we're alive," Crowley replied, "They'll be jus' as surprised as Regner's troops when we start attackin'. We need ta let 'em know we're here somehow."
"We can infiltrate Regner's army," Lersot suddenly exclaimed. Curvetail was about to silence him, but thought better of it. "Me an' Rebule, I mean. We look normal an' ordinary, an' none of them really knew us, unlike Garland. We'd blend right in, an' we could tell Kleid an' the rest 'bout our plans an' maybe even get some information from Regner in the process."
"That actually seems like a good plan," Crowley muttered, "But Rebule's got that big cut on his face from when Regner whipped him."
"That ain't a problem," interjected Garland, "Davian didn't spare the whip one bit on Regner's soldiers when they were our prisoners; in fact, it'd actually look more normal if ya had a slash on yer face."
"Don't any of yew idiots know that yer s'posed to whip slaves in the back, not the face?" Curvetail said absent-mindedly, rubbing the wound on his own face.
Jeld, ignoring Curvetail, said, "Then that's settled. Rebule an' Lersot, yew two'll go an' make sure Kleid knows we ain't all dead, maybe get some information about Regner's plans, an' then get outta there. Any complaints?"
Limptail, who had been silent the entire meeting, suddenly raised his paw. "Jus' one, Jeld. I think I should go, instead o' Rebule an' Lersot. The slaves oughtta have seen 'em 'round camp 'nough times that it's likely at least one will recognize 'em. Me an' Wemys, though, we were off lookin' fer a ship, so they've only seen me a little bit, if at all. I think I should go, cuz of that."
"I agree with that," Rebule exclaimed quickly, "Limptail should go, not me!"
Jeld shrugged. "I guess that makes sense… Okay, then, Limptail's gonna go instead of Lersot an' Rebule. Any complaints 'bout that?"
"Nope, none wotsoever!" Rebule was quick to reply. Curvetail glared at him, but the ferret was right. Nobeast had anything else to say on the matter.
---
Regner woke up surrounded by his soldiers. His soldiers all turned and looked down at him in stunned silence. All of them had thought that the weasel was dead. Schaeper had led his group back, where he got into a confusing discussion with Telson and Reiss. Telson had compared everything to an event long ago where a fox named Gorton was chopped in half by a giant pair of scissors and Reiss had tried to assure Schaeper that they were going to win.
"'Ey, iddn't he s'posed ta be dead?" Schaeper snapped at the pair, pointing at Regner, who had just gotten up. Despite quite a few bumps and the one part in his shoulder where Caldwell had stabbed him with his hook, the weasel looked alright.
"I never said that," Reiss squeaked.
"I once knew this feller named Wellenkamp who was gutted like a frog an' all his innards fell out… But he was still alive! An' he was still a nice feller, even after that! The cap'n jus' shoved all his guts back into his stomach and put a big bandage over it, an' he was jus' fine! We all thought he was dead, but—"
"Shut up!" shouted Skrobb.
"Ugh… Schaeper… You came back…?" Regner moaned, rubbing his head. Unknown to all but himself, the warlord had already armed himself with a dagger he had hidden in his large coat. This would be the perfect time to dispatch Schaeper and regain his horde.
"Sure did, chief," Schaeper replied. Regner noticed that the stoat was holding the saber he had dropped in the fight with Caldwell. Where was Caldwell, anyways? Regner couldn't see him at all through the circle of soldiers around him. "We got over a few dunes, then I realized that I was bein' really stupid fer leavin' ya, an' I came back."
"Oh… That's nice, Schaeper… I think I may jus' make ya a cap'n in my army now, jus' fer that," Regner smiled, anticipating a charge any second now. He could charge first, but he needed to impress the horde in order to get their favor back.
"Really?" Schaeper replied, a fake tone of surprise in his voice, "That'd be jus' great, Regner!"
As soon as he finished the last word, Schaeper charged forward with the saber. Regner ducked under the blow and tripped the stoat with a sweeping kick. Schaeper flew forward, slamming into the sand. Regner threw the dagger he had at the ready. It whizzed through the air, taking off Schaeper's ear and landing right next to his face.
The stoat gave up very easily. He let go of the saber and wailed, "Don't kill me, s-sir! I'm surrendering, okay! Jus' don't kill me, p-please!"
Regner picked up his saber and examined it closely. "What do you think, Telson? Should I slay this traitor or not?"
Telson smiled. "Normally, I'd say yes, but considering how we need all the troops we can git, I say we have him replace that fox an' his crew as the suicide squad. Ya know, I once knew this nice feller who—"
"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," Regner replied, cutting off Telson's story before it could even start, "You're going to replace Conrad, Schaeper. Reiss, tie him up, please. The rest of you, I'm going to let you off easy, as long as you don't try to betray me again."
"Now that we've captured the leader of the Long Patrol, there's no way that we can lose!" Reiss exclaimed as he heaved a weeping Schaeper away.
Regner internally frowned. So Telson and Reiss had captured Caldwell. He had wanted that stupid hare dead. But Regner did not show that. He knew having the leader of the hares captive was a huge tactical advantage for him. He would interrogate him for all the information he knew, get the rest of the hares to do stupid things to save him, and then finally, once Salamandastron was his, execute him personally. Regner liked that plan very much.
"Yes," Regner said, "All of you doubted me, but I assure you, they don't call me Regner the Magnificent for nothing. Stick with me, and I guarantee Salamandastron will be ours!" He held up his saber. There was a half-hearted cheer, and Regner noticed a few of the soldiers seemed a little skeptical, but Regner was okay with that. None of them seemed mutinous any more, and he had more supporters now than before.
As he continued to rile up his small army, he noticed Wemys and the other four he had yanked off Conrad's ship in the back, all of them looking unsure. Conrad figured he could make good use of them, especially Wemys. He was Deathblaze's brother, so he had to have some sort of talent as a fighter. From what he had heard from the crew, he wasn't anything special, but Regner was sure that was because he had never received any training. Well, Regner mused to himself, he would just have to change that.