(A/N: welcome, to Fireknife XV's excuse to use this place like a blog, with an actual story in here somewhere. Today, I think I'll talk about The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu for the Japanese purists. I first came across this show on the TVTropes wiki, something I've mentioned before as an absolute bugger of a time-waster and my latest internet addiction (on a side note, I can trace my high school and college life roughly by the sites I've been addicted to. It sounds really pathetic, but I don't spend THAT much time online, so it's probably OK. Right?...Right!?) It's one of my new favorite anime. If you haven't heard of this series, you're not really all that in touch with the anime fandom, because this show is huge. And it deserves to be. It's intelligent, beautifully drawn, and, most importantly, flippin' hilarious. I won't really go into a review of the show- it's difficult for me to do so without giving away the main plot points that everyone knows already but are too good for me to spoil, but the basic way you can sum it up is it's a SciFi slice of life comedy. And Kyon, the narrator, is the single best Deadpan Snarker you will ever see. Do a youtube search for it, and you can find the whole series subbed.

And just to make this a bit longer, you all do know that the sequel to Tales of Symphonia is getting a US release, right? If you don't, shame on you. It's called Dawn Of the New World. Not much info on it, but it'll have all the characters we know and love (barring Kratos, but I never liked him anyways)

Ch. 8

A shock of horror ran through the group. Takeshi was puzzled. Iselia wasn't a large town, but such a big heatflash like that, it was surprising that he hadn't sensed it. Colette looked positively dumbstruck.

"But...But...why?"

Genis related the story. It seemed that a group of desians from the local ranch had wanted something of Lloyd's. Various horrific details followed. Takeshi was saddened. He'd seen his share of death and destruction, but to destroy an entire town just to find one person seemed...excessive, to say the least. These Desians were ruthless, almost over the top villains. He'd enjoy taking out any who crossed his path.

The group was deep in thought as they returned to the hotel. Raine and Colette were still upset about the destruction of their hometown, Genis and Lloyd were still upset about being captured, and Takeshi and Kratos, predictably, didn't talk much. It was crowded and awkward in the boy's room that night, even with Lloyd and Genis taking turns on watch. Takeshi gave up the bed so that they could get a better night's sleep and crashed on the floor. They'd all be setting off for the seal of fire in the morning, which certainly sounded like fun to Takeshi.

In the morning, Takeshi was awakened by Lloyd, who informed him that breakfast was downstairs. Takeshi stretched and yawned, stumbling to the bathroom door to wait for Genis. He showered and revived himself over a cup of tea and some breakfast, and then set out to make sure his gear was in order. Kunai, shuriken, summoning scrolls, and his chuunin vest over his cargo pants and tunic, along with his medical gear completed what was on his person. His other supplies were in his pack, which would be left at the entrance to the ruins. He set off downstairs, the last person to leave. Kratos looked somewhat annoyed about that. Everyone else was set, weapons in evidence. Genis had a kendama, of all things, while Colette was casually throwing her chakrams up and down. Takeshi wondered how useful they would be in combat- apparently the trials ahead involved monsters.

"Alright, sorry I took so long. Should we go?"

"Yeah, let's do this!"

Lloyd was grinning widely, strange for someone about to run headlong into a fight. Maybe the boy was just stupid. With that, they all headed out of the city and towards the ruins that contained the seal. It was something of a walk, taking several hours, but eventually they reached the ruins and began to look around. It wasn't long, however, before they spotted two glowing orbs, made of what appeared to be suspended bricks. An inner light glowed within them as they floated towards the group. Takeshi stared at them, nonplussed.

"The hell are those things?"

Kratos had drawn his sword, setting himself in a stance.

"Fire elementals. Be on your guard..."

Suddenly, the glow at the center of one of the brick-things intensified, and three large fireballs shot towards the group.

"Look out!"

Lloyd gave a cry as he grabbed Colette's hand and leapt out of the way, dragging the chosen with him. Everyone else was similarly clear, except Takeshi. Instead, he grinned and held out a hand. The fireballs suddenly redirected their flight in midair, whirling around Takeshi's head as they streaked back towards the elemental that fired them (no pun intended). They impacted against the bricks and were absorbed with no effect. Instead, the next attack that the elemental launched seemed to be twice as powerful. These, Takeshi simply blocked, sending them spiraling into the sky.

"Sword-dudes! Get in there and smash those things. I'll cover you!"

Takeshi began to move, putting himself in between Colette and the elementals. They refocused their attacks at Lloyd and Kratos, both charging a separate elemental, releasing their spells at the same time. Takeshi growled as he struggled to maintain control of the six separate fireballs, fighting the elementals for control. The fireballs simply hung in the air, quivering, as Takeshi pitted his will against the two elementals. Fortunately, by this time, Kratos and Lloyd had reached their targets. A quick stab from Kratos pierced the glow at the center of his elemental as Lloyd ineffectually slashed at the bricks that served to protect the elemental's core.

"Lloyd, stab at the core!" Kratos looked irritated, as if it couldn't be more obvious.

"Oh yeah! Sonic Thrust!"

With Lloyd's attack, the second sphere fell to ground, destroyed. Takeshi was finally able to release his hold on the second group of fireballs, and they spiraled off into the sky.

"Lloyd, that was fantastic!"

Takeshi rolled his eyes as the chosen gushed over the sword thrust that the red-clad swordsman had delivered. But, this was work, and the less he had to deal with it the better.

"OK, OK, so where's the entrance? It's really hot out here." complained the blue-haired little elf-boy.

"Agreed. Let's do this quickly." That was Kratos, and the most words he had spoken in days.

" Such a pity we're going to have to tackle the easiest dungeon first. Let's get this over with."

With that, the group reformed and began to head towards what looked like the entrance, combing the area for something Raine said was called the "Oracle Stone." After searching for only five minutes, Lloyd managed to come across whatever it was they were looking for.

"Hey, here it is!"

Looking up from where he was searching, Takeshi ambled over lazily.

"So what do we do now?"

"Colette, place your hand here. That should open up the passageway." Said Raine.

Colette did so, and suddenly, without any sort of warning, a block slid away, revealing the passage.

"That was interesting. Fingerprint scanning?" Remarked Takeshi, who had seen such devices in high-security areas of Konoha.

"Nope. Magic. I guess I really am the Chosen after all!" Colette grinned.

"Well, I'm glad I'm guarding the right person."

"We all knew that, you dummy." That was Lloyd, tactful as usual.

"Alright, shall we get this thing started, then? I'll head in first, light the way." And without waiting for any further questions, Takeshi headed down the stairs and into the underground passageway that led to the seal of Fire.

Truth be told, it was fairly dull in the ruins. Nothing but a fairly long, straight passageway made of stone, completely dark. The overwhelming sense of heat emanating from the center of the ruins blocked out any other sources of heat, rendering Takeshi unable to determine whether or not anything living was present there. They would be going in fairly blind.

As soon as everyone had descended into the passageway, two glowing birds and a strange orange warrior emerged from the stones.

"...Shit, enemies. Lloyd, get in front of me and hold off the swordsman while I deal with those two weird birds!"

As he said these words, a pair of chakrams flashed by at the birds as they swooped in. They struck them and looped backwards as the birds stopped, their momentum completely wrecked. Lloyd dashed in front of Takeshi, crossing his blades as the strange, sword-wielding...thing cut down, blocking the swing. They stood there, locked in a contest of strength. Meanwhile, both Kratos and Genis began to prepare spells.

Focusing, Takeshi's hands began to flash in signs. This was much more complicated than taking control of the fireballs outside, which had largely been directed with little control. These would take some work. "Colette, keep them busy with that. I'll have these things dead quickly!"

Controlling the fire that ninjas fought with was fairly easy for the Hojo clan. Ninja rarely put effort into maintaining control of the chakra that fueled the flames, which made it easy for them to insert their own chakra and take command. The elemental things outside weren't chakra users, but still managed to maintain some level of control over their spells. These creatures were purely made of fire. As such, they had iron control over their bodies. It would be nearly impossible for him to take command of them. Fortunately, that wasn't what he was aiming for.

His hands finished flashing through the signals- there were many that he needed to perform in order to manipulate his chakra the way he wanted to- and brought them together.

"Kai"

with that, both birds were simultaneously ripped to shreds by the force of Takeshi's chakra. The pieces quickly extinguished, just as Genis released an aqua edge spell at them. Takeshi grinned at him.

Meanwhile, Lloyd had been dealing with the swordsman well, and it now had several large gashes in it, all of which appeared to bleed something resembling lava. As Takeshi watched, Kratos's spell shifted targets, blasting Lloyd's opponent with lightning. Stunned and dazed, the creature's sword arm fell, leaving it defenseless against Lloyd's twin thrusts, which impaled its head.

"Nice shot, Kratos, Lloyd." remarked Takeshi, not even breathing heavily from dealing with the birds. "Shall we continue?"

"How the heck did you do that?!" exclaimed Lloyd as he gaped at Takeshi.

"Oh, right, you smurfs joined the group late. I'm just going to say that I'm a ninja and leave it at that. I have cool ninja powers. That's all you need to know. I'll explain more later, but now is really not the time. We're in the middle of a dungeon." As Takeshi said this, he was already walking down the corridor, his hand holding a ball of flame. Raine looked at him and muttered "honestly" as her staff also lit up. The party began to walk down the corridor. Lloyd was going off about how cool it was that they were here fighting their way to release the seal.

Eventually, after a good clip of distance, the hallway ended with a large door, marked with the words "Seal of Fire".

"This would appear to be it." remarked Kratos, as he pushed the door open.

In front of them stood paths of stone, immersed in Lava. Takeshi rolled his eyes. Nothing like a spectacle. The paths weren't connected, but a bit of work soon found out that lighting torches with an odd ring that Lloyd posessed would raise the paths they needed. Takeshi's fire, interestingly enough, wouldn't work, though it looked no different from the fire coming out of the ring. Soon, the group ended up in front of a pad.

"So is this the seal, then?" asked Takeshi.

"Oh, no, this is the warp pad. This is how we get to the seal. Just step on it!" With those words, Colette had walked onto the teleport pad and vanished.

"Ah, crap."

With that, Takeshi jumped onto the plate, feeling nothing, but seeing a strange blue light, which quickly vanished to reveal an empty room, with a strange pedestal-thing on it.

Takeshi stepped off of the pad. "So THAT'S the seal, I take it."

"yep."

As everyone else appeared, Genis suddenly shouted out.

"There's a lot of Mana welling up there!"

Looking behind him, Takeshi saw as a gigantic tiger...thing and two smaller minions flashed into existence in front of the seal.

"There's the guardian. We will need to defeat it to pass."

"Watch out, he's charging up for a spell!" Cried Genis, who was working his own.

Takeshi cried out. "OK, same strategy as with those things outside! I'll block any fire, you guys deal with them!" He sprang in front of Colette, making sure not to impede her Chakrams. If he was going to stay in the back, he may as well fulfill his job requirements.

Lloyd and Kratos charged forward, swords drawn as the monsters released their spells. They flew at the Chosen, great gouts of fire. Takeshi simply stood in front of her and deflected the fire away, scorching the walls as he did. It took very little chakra to redirect the fire such that it all would flow away. He could do this all day.

Lloyd and Kratos had easily dispatched the two runts. The big boss was proving to be a bit harder. As Takeshi watched, ready to deflect any fire that the boss should throw, he winced as Lloyd got caught in the sweep of the monster's tail. Lloyd was thrown backwards and landed, skidding, on the floor.. Lloyd got up, slowly, clutching his chest. Takeshi was impressed that he could still move after such a hit. Lloyd didn't look too eager to get in range of the monster's tail, but suddenly the beast turned and blasted a jet of flame at him. Lloyd raised his swords in a pitiful attempt at a block, but the fire was deflected, this time smashing a hole in the wall. Fortunately, this maneuver had left the creature vulnerable to Genis's Icicle spell, which pierced it at the same time that Kratos managed to slash at its side. The monster howled in pain, fire erupting all around it, pushing Kratos back before Takeshi could do anything. The mercenary fell to the ground, burns evident on his exposed flesh, his clothes smoking. Takeshi immediately leapt forward, still keeping his eyes on the beast as he grabbed Kratos and dragged him back towards Raine and her healing abilities. The beast attempted to breathe a jet of fire at them, but he deflected it, turning the columns that were in its path cherry-red. Raine immediately began to work on healing him as Takeshi looked back to where Lloyd was now battling the monster alone. He attempted to jump in and stab at the monster, which had lost a considerable amount of blood, but it countered with its tail. Lloyd was forced to jump back and dodge the powerful strike. Genis took this opportunity to fire another Icicle spell. This one trapped the monster's tail, pinning it fast as two kunai from Takeshi pierced its paw. With that, its guard was dropped.

"Lloyd! Hit the head!"

"Right!" With that, Lloyd leapt high into the air in front of the monster, bringing both swords down in a powerful thrust. The blades, which appeared to be sheathed in energy, passed into the monster's skull with little trouble, driving it to the ground. It was pretty clear that the thing was not getting up. Lloyd pulled his miraculously unbroken swords out of the monster's skull, looking curiously at the brains that clung to it. Notably, they, along with the rest of the monster, had already begun to fade. In a matter of seconds, all traces of it had vanished, leaving only the rubble and Kratos and Lloyd's injuries to indicate its presence.

(A/N: Apologies for the lack of updates, if anyone is still reading this thing (I honestly think I'll be saying that even if I get massive amounts of reviews), but I've been pretty damn lazy. For compensation, the chapter's pretty long. Now, for your viewing pleasure, I present the following. It's a pure, hate-filled rant at Nickelodeon. How the mighty have fallen... (warning- copious swearing follows.

Dear Nickelodeon. Are you trying to kill off what little faith I had in you? Let's start with those absolutely horrid new shows you've come out with- Back to the Barnyard and Tak, which I only know about because I have a little brother, a good memory, and I occasionally turn to you to see if Avatar's on. Which brings me to my second complaint.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? The last time you showed new episodes of Avatar was in fucking November. November! It's March, for God's sake! That's 3 solid months where you've had all these new episodes out (And they do exist. God bless Canadians and the internet for letting me at least see the Western Air Temple and The Firebending masters). Is there some executive out there who despises this show because, unlike everything else you've ever shown, it's got a beginning, middle, and end? You had us wait 9 months for season 3, but now, not only have you blatantly refused to show the only reason I still acknowledge the existence of your bloody network, but you aren't re-running them, either. I remember turning on the TV at random and tuning in to a good, solid episode of Avatar. Now? Spongebob. Don't get me wrong, I can tolerate Spongebob. Some of the earlier stuff was good. But for the love of all that is holy (and in this case, I do happen to mean Kung-fu Action Jesus- a name I picked up from Avatar The Abridged Series for Aang), will you show the damn episodes already? I'm planning on picking up the DVDs, but seriously, what possible logic could you have for not showing the sole shining jewel in the otherwise frankly disgusting pile of shit that is the Nickelodeon lineup? The show is insanely popular among older folk. Teenagers, plenty of college students, hell, even parents, are all Avatards. Sure, some of it's the Anime influence, but since when is that a bad thing? This show has better fight choreography than Naruto. Yes, I said it, and I'm writing a Naruto fanfic here. The fight animation is ten times better. It's the best I've ever seen. The storyline is gripping, the characters are amazing, the setting is fucking epic, the mechanics are intricately thought out, the detail put into it is stunning, it's genuinely funny... this is perhaps one of the single greatest shows I have had the pleasure to see. Do you want to know how popular this show is with the older, nerdier crowd instead of the unwashed, teeming maggots of ten-year-olds you call your main fanbase? TVTropes wiki is a site I waste a lot of my time at. What few readers I have will recall that I mentioned it in a plug last time I updated. Avatar, a Nickelodeon show, is the media referenced 10th most on that site, according to their trope overdosed category. Here's what beats it. 1. Star Trek (all of them) 2. Doctor Who (I know nothing about this one). 3. The Simpsons (20? year run). 4. Final Fantasy. All 10 games and spinoffs. 5. Star Wars (do I really need to explain this one?) 6. Buffy The Vampire Slayer (the site features many Buffy enthusiasts, also a long runner.) 7. Stargate verse (another long runner) 8. Harry Potter (again, do I need to explain?) 9. Discworld (apparently Terry Pratchett is some sort of God). 10. AVATAR. It's at 50 episodes so far. 50. Star Trek had more on its first run. This show is pure, epic gold, and you're raping it. The only other thing that comes close (160 entries to Avatar's 610 ) is Danny Phantom (why, I can't tell), and possiblly Invader Zim. Now, I don't know all that much about Danny Phantom, not being in touch with the online fanbase like I am with Avatar, but what do all three of these shows have in common? You (Nick) fuck them in the ass, or are in the process of doing so. What the hell is your fucking problem? At the very least, release the DVDs soon so that I don't have to come down to the studios, find whoever is responsible for this travesty, kill them in ways unmentionable in decent company, feed their bodies to whatever is responsible for spawning Barnyard (and if that doesn't kill it, there's always fire), and elevating Mike and Bryan to the top positions.

...And after that rant, this is going to come across as a lot calmer, but would it kill you guys to show a few episodes of Hey Arnold or something every now and again? That show was the pinnacle of my childhood, and it's certainly better than the crap you're putting out now.

Sincerely, Fireknife XV