Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all.

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Kakashi's Research

Chapter 2: The Sty

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Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out the heavy sigh that was begging to be let out for hours. She had just left the boys a little while ago, their bickering and aspirations to outdo one another having left her weary and exasperated. Especially, Sakura noted bitterly, when she found that she was the one who had to play both referee and medic when things got out of hand. Which was often.

But then, Sakura wasn't one to talk. She'd have been a complete hypocrite if she said that she and Ino were perfectly compatible. In fact, it was quite the contrary really. The bond that Sakura and Ino shared was something much more complicated than Naruto and Sasuke's never ending conquest for male dominance. Beyond a simple rivalry among friends. They were friends because they were rivals more or less. Even though their relationship had been stitched together since their little falling out a million years ago and they'd since accomplished becoming best friends and even roommates in a two-bedroom apartment, Sakura had to admit that what they had - whatever it was - was drastically more mentally grating than any frivolous alpha-male competition, and essentially… more exhausting!

As she wandered down the gradually down-winding streets, she watched the shops finish closing up and the odd peddler stow away his merchandise, the odd one still haggling fiercely with straggling shoppers to achieve one last swindle before calling it a day. Sakura usually would have been one of the ones being swindled, but she didn't feel up for it this afternoon.

Try as Sakura may to not think so much about it, to think to much into it, she could not get Kakashi's bizarre behavior out of her mind. Not that he wasn't normally bizarre or anything. But he had done a job of increasing his weird-factor.

After all, since when did he make questionable comments to her that left her tripping over her own tongue like some idiot? Comments bout him if being stroked correctly, he'd 'purr like a kitten'. And since when did he maybe-possibly-probably wink at her when he left?

Sakura grimaced. Her face was positively on fire now. Tomatoes everywhere would hang their heads in shame.

But then, she couldn't help but to notice that there was a big fat blob of doubt hanging onto her speculations. If she looked at it from a practical point of view, it wasn't like he'd particularly behaved abnormally. Well, 'abnormally' to Kakashi in any case. It wasn't like he'd done or said anything that couldn't just have been merely ill-conceived. Now that she thought about it, he could have just been being friendly. She'd always known Kakashi to be odd and vague, a freaking nutjob, so misconception was easy when it came to his methods of displaying his fondness. Was she simply looking too much into this?

After all… was she trying to come to the conclusion that her sensei of six years had been making discreet passes at her?

"Man, do I ever need to get laid," she laughed as she approached the Great Konoha Bridge.

If she was going to assume that her teacher was hitting on her when he was simply being friendly, it was obvious that she was in dire need of a boyfriend. Maybe she should take Ino up on one of her offers to set her up with one of her many guy friends. God knows, that Pig had tried on a daily basis.

Sakura began to cross the bridge less hurriedly, her soft footsteps thumping hollowly on the wooden boards. She had always come to admire the strong old bridge and enjoyed crossing it when returning home. It was just one of those convenient places that just helped her relax, if only in passing. One of her few repreives before she returned back to the apartment to have Ino mither her endlessly about everything and nothing at the same time, as if she had nothing better to do. Which, Sakura hadn't failed to notice on the occassion, she usually didn't. A particular favorite of Ino's was to prey on Sakura's not having a boyfriend or any real sexual experience.

Sakura remembered one of their previous conversations:

'Hey, Forehead!'

'What is it, Ino-pig?'

'I was wondering… you don't seem to be interested in getting a boyfriend, and when I try to hook you up, you always throw lame excuses in my face. Not to mention - I think that Kakashi-sensei's ridiculous excuse-making logic is rubbing off on you.'

'…'

'And all my friends are hot! I mean, H-O-T! Since when do you refuse dates with single, smokin' hot guys to go and walk your mother's cat? Your mom's allergic! There is no cat! And you don't even walk cats! … or do you?'

'…'

' But, anyways! This all brings me to the same conclusion! Sakura, are you gay?'

'Depends… If I say yes, will you leave me alone?'

The pink-haired chunin scowled. Sometimes she'd wished Ino would just stick to calling her 'Forehead'. As much as she had always hated that nickname, she'd rather it than Ino-pig's snobby teasing about her love life. Or lack there of.

It wasn't like she couldn't get a boyfriend, because she could. She'd certainly caught the men in the village leering at her as she walked down the street plenty enough. Even though, she noted sourly, most of them were either old withered geezers or guys that already had a gal latched onto their shoulders! The pigs.

And both Naruto and Lee were still infatuated at their wit's end about her, but they were simply out of the question in terms of boyfriends. And Sasuke… Sakura's obsession for that emotional wreck had died a long time ago. She remembered a couple years back when she simply had given up on him. She had been fed up with his daily rejections and to her, he was simply out of reach. He was simply one of those unattainable people. An untouchable. Too good for plain old Haruno Sakura. After realizing this, Sakura finally decided to try out dating other boys. But every time things had become intimate, things would come to a screeching halt. Sakura didn't understand it herself… but the problem was kind of obvious.

When it came to sex, Sakura supposed, she was easily intimidated. And apparently, boys didn't like being told 'oh, oh, oh, I just remembered - I gotta study for a test tomorrow!' or 'ack! Did he hear that outside just now? I think we're being watched!' in the heat of the moment.

Sakura slowed before leaning over the bridge railing, letting her gaze drift out to the horizon. It was a nice scene, she guessed. It was well into the evening and the sun was setting. The sun peaked over the many roof tops and trees of the village, an array of blinding reds and oranges painting the dimming sky and clouds like a canvas. It would be dark soon, Sakura figured, so she turned and continued on.

If she went to bed early tonight, she'd wake up fresh as a daisy in the morning. Yes, then she'd go out to grab a bite to eat somewhere, having long since abandoned her attempt at maintaining a diet many years ago. Which wasn't so much of a diet as it were fasting. And then, at nine o'clock, she'd meet up with the others and Kakashi-sensei could teach them that new genjutsu of his! That is… providing he did show up on time. Best not get any hopes up though.

Sakura couldn't help but to smirk at this. After six years of knowing Kakashi, she quickly learned to never get their hopes up much when it came to him. Lest she be greatly disappointed, of course. Team Seven was without a doubt accustomed to this and could safely depend on his undependability... as funny as that sou -

"Gah...!"

In the midst of her absent reminiscing, Sakura nearly doubled over when her foot slipped on something that sent her sprawling. She stumbled awkwardly, only just having the presence of mind to bring her hands to her front before her face was unpleasantly introduced to gravel. What Sakura slipped on - whatever she slipped on, skidded some to the right of her foot.

Her fall had bent her into an awkward bridge-like position, her hands pressed flat against the rough ground for support, her butt stuck up in the air foolishly. "… the heck?" Sakura hissed, peering venomously at the offending object below her. She blinked. Paper? She slipped on a stack of paper? Some ninja she was! She could only imagine what some of the others might say.

Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin when a passing man deftly slapped her on the ass."Sweet cheeks," he grunted as he shot her a cheeky glance. Her butt was flat on the ground in an instant, her face a brilliant red, though whether or not from her being embarrassed or infuriated, it was hard to tell. "Ohhhh! Try that again, I dare you!" she shrieked after him before he disappeared, considerably more hurriedly, onto the next street.

Sakura hastily climbed back to her feet and straightened, promptly patting herself down with a scowl. She peered around heatedly to see if anyone had witnessed, but discovered there hadn't been many people around and the people that were present didn't seem to neither notice nor care. She probably should have been annoyed about the fact that no one had the common courtesy to come to aid a damsel in distress, but Sakura rather felt relieved. Last thing she needed was a rumor floating around and Ino cawing in her ear.

Peering down at the object that had caused this whole mess in the first place, she grimaced. Paper. Sakura huffed. Didn't people know better than to litter these days?

Her eyes widened a fraction before they squinted. There was writing on it.

"Come to think if it… didn't Kakashi-sensei…?" she trailed off as she hesitantly gathered the disoriented stack, her eyebrows instantly shooting into her hairline as she caught a glimpse of the lazy scrawl.

'… Tetsuya wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged Yura to him, reveling in the sudden closeness of their bodies. Yura allowed her own arms fall around his nape, sinking one hand into his messy hair as she clutched his waist in the other. She pushed her chest against his, loving how Tetsuya's breath had become ragged in his throat when her -'

Sakura swallowed, her breath becoming shallow.

'- her hard nipples pressed against him through the flimsy fabric of her shirt. She then trailed a series of hot kisses from his temple down the underside of his jaw and along his neck.'

Sakura licked her lips a little. For some reason, they seemed to be dry all in a sudden...

'Having particularly lavished his neck and collarbone with fiery licks and nibbles, Yura finally licked her way up to Tetsuya's anticipating mouth and then, finally granting him the thing he silently begged for, she kissed him. Their kiss was slow at first, but it instantly escalated into something of battle for dominance. Tetsuya next leaned into her and enjoyed Yura's shiver of pleasure when he pressed his hard, pulsing coc -'

"Ah. I see you've found my papers, Sakura."

Sakura jolted with shock, successfully managing to drop half of what she was holding as she wheeled around to face...

Oh no.

"Ka… Kakashi-sensei!" she stammered in a squeak, having a hard time spitting out her words and feeling as though all the breath had been sucked out of her lungs. Sakura could hear her heart drumming away in her ear with such an intensity that she wondered if Kakashi could hear it too.

The jonin simply watched her, a humored glint in his eye that unnerved her even more. Other than that, the Copy Nin remained as indifferent as ever, his back typically slouched and his hands in his pockets.

Sakura shifted uncomfortably and couldn't bring herself to quite look him in the eye. "So, um…th-these papers are… are yours, sensei?" she murmured, tripping over her words in a way that would give Hinata a run for her money.

"Mm," Kakashi hummed curtly, the same hint of amusement in his tone.

There was an awkward silence, as if he were expecting her to say something more. Sakura positively cooked in it. Kakashi, on the other hand, seemed perfectly at peace. He idly watched as her face twisted from frazzled embarassment to heated accusation.

So these these were his papers. These were why he was neglecting their classes to meet up with Jiraiya-sama. Because he was writing… writing… porn.

Of all the times that Naruto appeared out of no where, Sakura had never wanted him to pop up more so than she did now.

Sakura quickly squatted to collect the rest of the dropped papers, her hands shaking clumsily and successfully managing to make her repeat the proccess several times over before she could seem to get a grip. Straightening herself, she then offered the pile of papers to the silver-headed jonin, who didn't take them... She was becoming increasingly aware of the way he simply stared at her hands.

What, did he want her to say something?

Sakura nearly sighed aloud when he reached a lazy hand out to finally receive the papers. But, what she didn't expect was to find that not only did he accept the manuscript, but he'd confiscated her hand in the process.

"Sakura…" Kakashi sighed, tugging at her hand until it was palm-up. His was large and strong in comparison, thick and calloused after enduring infinite years of fighting and… book holding. He stared down at her hand for a moment or two before looking straight at her. Sakura stopped breathing. "You're injured."

For a moment, Sakura found that her mind was drawing a complete blank. Her train of thought was currently something along the lines of - Hand. Paper in hand. Hand. Holding Kakashi-sensei's hand. Hand. Kakashi's hand. Hand. Injured hand?

"Injured?" she repeated, staring at him through incredulous eyes. "But, I'm not -"

Kakashi gave her hand a gentle squeeze and she hissed, snatching it clean out of his. Kakashi regarded her pointedly as he folded the papers into his vest.

"Oh," she groaned as she stared wide-eyed at her smarting palm. The skin on her palm was swollen and raw, the pink of her flesh throbbing with what seemed to be it's own heartbeat. And only now that she'd realized the thing, she was overwhelmed with the sudden aftershock of the aching she had since been ignoring. She must have skinned it on her exciting little trip from before. Albeit a trip that a certain ninja's pornographic documents had induced! Well, it could have been worst… "It's nothing, sensei. A scrape, I guess."

"Mm," Kakashi hummed offhandedly. He paused briefly before dipping his head to nod to her right knee, "And I suppose that that is a simple scrape too." Sakura blinked, before she realized that she'd unconsciously been favoring her left leg until he mentioned.

Sakura gasped. Knee. Blood. Lots and lots of it.

"Sensei… I think I'm gonna faint," she whispered coarsely as she paled, pulling her hand to her brow and wiping the bead of sweat that had formed there.

"Sakura, don't be ridiculous. You're not going to..." he broke off as she teetered dangerously, quickly extending his arm to steady her lest she swoon, "… okay, maybe you are." He gently ushered her to the wall, of which she practically clung to for dear life.

"Kakashi-sensei, tell me… how bad is it?" she whispered, feeling like a toad had nested in her throat and she had to talk through it.

"It looks as though we'll have to amputate…"

"Kakashi-sensei."

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. She contemplated homicide. "It isn't serious. It just looks to be a minor flesh wound."

Sakura breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Just hope it doesn't get infected," Kakashi added unnecessarily.

She twitched.

"You know how those infections can be. Septic and painful, bacteria-infested and..."

Sakura blanched.

Kakashi broke off as though he was suddenly aware of how his words were settling with her. Good thing too, because he was just about to go into graphic detail about pus… "I'll take you to the hospital," he said instead, leaning forward to offer her a hand.

"I can walk," Sakura declined it grimly, a look of determined nonchalance on her face. She hesitantly pushed away from the wall, swallowing her groans of discomfort in attempts to appear unruffled. She knew that Kakashi wasn't fooled though. "And I'm not going to the hospital."

"And why not?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrow tilting as he stared at her, clearly not liking her defying the medical attention.

"Well, for one," Sakura scowled, "This isn't a big deal. You said yourself, it's just a nick."

"Correction. Flesh wound..." Kakashi interjected.

"Second of all, I can't waste the money on medical expenses."

"God forbid loss of limb be a sufficient excuse."

"And lastly, hospitals just creep me out! They smell funny."

There was a brief pause in which Kakashi just stared at her, looking, if only once during their interaction during the day, unamused.. He seemed to be debating whether or not Sakura's feeble excuses were reason enough to exempt a simple hospital visit. And by the way that dark eye lasered at her humorlessly, they didn't. "Well, I'm no doctor… and my medical skills aren't exactly up to scratch…" he sighed, "but my apartment is just up the road."

Sakura didn't say anything for a long moment as she watched his expression inquisitively, as though she were weighing his proposition's beneficial value. Apparently, she wasn't in any position to refuse it, because she also sighed. "Well, alright," she said. "But only for a minute. I'll never hear the end of it from Ino if she catches me sneaking in at night."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

-

Apparently, Kakashi had apprehended her foul sense of agony as he hadn't tried to hurry her as they both ascended the fleets of stairs. He even refrained from making any wisecracks as she stiff-limped almost comically up each and every stair. Oh, and how it must have eaten away at him inside. But, Sakura noted sourly, she hadn't failed to see that his cheek was lifted up, the one indication of his amusement that he didn't keep in check. She remembered begrudgingly letting it slide. The last thing she wanted to do was get riled up.

"I don't expect visitors often," Kakashi's voice was saying half-heartedly as he pushed open the shabby door of his apartment. "Sorry, if it's a little messy," he said with an eye crinkle.

Sakura peered around his apartment and immediately her face twisted with disgust. 'A little bit messy??' That was clearly an understatement. There was laundry strewn across his floor, mounds of it in every corner, and trash and questionable food items on every surface of everything. He even had random work-related artifacts littering the place: kunai, scrolls, throwing stars, spare flak jackets. Not only did she wonder how he kept up with any of his things in the place, but she was appalled to find that humans could survive and function under such living conditions. It was sickening almost. Sakura bet that she was more liable to get an infection from inside his home.

"Kakashi-sensei…"

"Mm?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you live in a pigsty?"

"Why yes, Sakura-chan."

"So, then you're probably used to people calling you a slob?"

"Naturally."

"I assumed you would," Sakura deadpanned.

"Well, you might as well get comfortable. I'll find the first aid kit," Kakashi said, jumping straight to the point as he maneuvered through the array of junk in the living room before he disappeared into the hall. He must have been thoroughly used to his apartment being so messy to move with such skill and not falling and breaking his neck. On one hand, it was mildly inspiring. On the other, it was just plain alarming.

"…Might take you a while," Sakura grumbled sourly as she tip-toed around various items, passing by things as common as a candy wrapper to oddities like a kunai knife. One which still had blood on it Sakura was quick to notice!

Taking a seat on his couch, not before dusting a solid pile of clothes off it, Sakura looked around. He had a fair-sized living space, she noted. It wasn't exactly the first thing one noticed when walking through the front door. The disgusting monstrosity that was his apartment was somewhat distracting. Sakura had always supposed her sensei to be disorganized, but this, this… It was one thing to hear about it, but it was another to actually being the one to witness his home in all its filthy glory. And, when she came to think of it… she doubted that either Naruto or Sasuke had ever been. She was likely the first in a while ever to be invited into his house. As much of an honor that was.

"What are you smiling about?" sounded a voice and Sakura jerked around to see Kakashi towering over her, next to the couch. His eyebrow was quirked as he watched her curiously. He had an old dented first-aid kit clutched in his hand with a faded red cross on it's front.

"Oh, nothing!" Sakura smiled cheesily. Kakashi was unconvinced, but he didn't push the subject. He only threw her a bemused look before he kneeled down at the foot of the couch, sinking himself between her knees. She watched as her sensei rummaged awkwardly through the medical kit and the longer he took, the more nervous she became. Sakura chewed on her bottom lip, finding herself becoming increasingly worried.

Did he even have the slightest idea of what he was doing? Suddenly the hospital visit didn't seem to be such a bad idea!

As Kakashi collected several items, Sakura felt herself sigh in relief. Ah… so he did know!

"So," suddenly came Kakashi's voice.

"So?" echoed Sakura's, confused.

"So…" he prompted. "What did you think?" he asked simply as he gently pushed up the bloodied material of her shorts so that it rested just above her knee.

"What did I… think?" she repeated, baffled.

"Yes," he said simply, with a patient nod, as though encouraging a particularly shy child. "The manuscript. Surely you have got an opinion?"

To be honest, Sakura had almost completely forgotten about the stupid thing. She was caught completely off guard when he asked her opinion. "Y-yes. I mean, I didn't…"

"You did read some?" Kakashi unscrewed the cap of the small half-empty bottle of whiskey before he extracted a cotton ball out of his pack.

"Well, yeah - "

" - Then you can tell me what you thought about it."

Sakura frowned, her eyes narrowing as they glared into Kakashi's blank one. "Okay," she said. "To be honest…"

Kakashi held his breath.

"… It sucked."

There was a long pause. A dog's lonely howl sounded in the distance.

"Sorry, come again?"

It was Kakashi's turn to look skeptic. His visible eye widened a fraction and a slight shift in his jaw hinted that his mouth had indeed fallen open. As though he had just been slapped in the face. As though someone had just bitten a clean chunk out of his self esteem. And, for all Sakura was concerned, she had the fork and Kakashi-ego-crummies on her mouth. At this, Sakura secretly gloated, a smirk tugging gleefully at her lips. Oh, how she wished she could have snapped a photo of him! She was sure Gai would have paid an arm and both legs.

"I thought," Sakura said, enunciating her words slowly and with deliberate bluntness, "it sucked."

It had come to her immediate attention that as soon as she repeated this, there was an overwhelming scorching sensation in her knee and she yelped. It felt as though someone had poured liquid fire into her open wound. Then smashed a lemon into it. Sakura's cry warped into something reminiscent of a whimper as the pain melted away almost as abruptly as it had come, simply leaving her throbbing flesh wound with an unpleasant prickly feeling. "Fuck!" Gasp. "... You bastard!" Gasp. "Asshole... Kakashi…" Sakura rasped, "you could have at least warned me!"

"Sorry," Kakashi murmured, "must have slipped my mind." Sakura failed to hear the sympathy in his tone.

The jonin next brought the offending bottle of whiskey up to where Sakura assumed his mouth would be and took a measured drought from it through his mask. Sakura's eyes narrowed. She resisted the compelling urge to comment about the connection between his alcohol intake and his lack of brain cells. If this was he way of dealing with his stress, she could definitely see a link.

"It was unfair of me to ask your opinion anyways. You'd obviously only gotten to read a tiny bit of it…" he murmured as he sat the bottle down next to him. A brief silence flitted by in which Kakashi played medic. He dabbed the cotton to her knee with gentle but thorough strokes until all the whiskey and crusted blood was wiped away, leaving her knee tender, but clean.

Her gash wasn't that bad, really. It had bled more than it's actual significance. It was a deep-seated scrape, the tiny shards of gravel and glass having embedded themselves to instigate the exaggerated bleeding and ultimately - pain being neatly removed. Lastly, he pulled out a small bottle of antiseptic cream and applied that too. Thankfully, that didn't sting. Sakura supposed that bit was to prevent infection. Which she greatly appreciated.

"No, I read it all," Sakura replied, all so she could prolong the moment of seeing her sensei piqued. Once again, there was that 'coincidental' extra pressure to her knee scrape which caused her to hiss in discomfort. But other than that, Sakura was as adament as ever.

She could help it... She reveled in his sense of dimwittedness, taking to it like a fish to water! She could hear Inner Sakura guffawing in the back of her mind. Just wait until she told Naruto and Sasuke that she was the one who'd dumbstricken Kakashi. They'd fall head over heels.

Of course, she'd have to leave some trivial... face-vaulting... butt-smacking.... details out of it.

"It just didn't flow, sensei. It could have done with some more detail," she lied. She racked her brain for things she could pass for believable yet valid criticism. It had to be vague though. She wasn't able to give him anything specific. After all, she'd only read a microscopic portion of his manuscript and it wasn't like she could rail on any particular scenes with no proper grounds to refer to. He'd see right through that. "Not to mention, your handwriting is ghastly!" Yes. She was definitely running out of things to say. And running out quick. Sakura shook her head and crossed her arms. "None of it was believable. I just wasn't feeling it, Kakashi-sensei."

Her cheeks reddened as she caught his arch of the brow and that amused little glimmer in his eye. "You could have fooled me," he said nonchalantly as he leveled a big white bandaid to her knee wound. Sakura's eyes went wide. "Because, you sure seemed as though you were 'feeling' it while you were avidly reading."

Sakura immediately bristled. "Well, I wasn't!" How long had he been watching her? When did he get the chance to see her er - feeling it? And, well, she wasn't! She was just picking up the sheets when her eyes happened to see those pornographic scribbles! So what if they lingered a little bit? She hadn't exactly known that they were his and what if somebody had lost important documents? It was only natural that she try to find a name or something! How was she to know that there was that on those papers!?

"Mmhm," Kakashi hummed incredulously, obviously entertained by her frustration. His skepticism and apparent amusement only served as fuel to Sakura's explosive temper. Sakura could swear she heard him grinning! "Well, Sakura-chan." He paused only to see how she'd react to his use of the added suffix. She expectantly glared. "You've made it clear that you don't like my story. But, if there was out of the whole thing a part that you didn't entirely hate, which would be your favorite?"

Sakura stewed in her thoughts for a small eternity. Did he know that she hadn't read the whole thing? He had to! Why else would he ask her that? Sakura grimaced. But like hell she'd ever let him know that she didn't! Besides, it wasn't completely a lie. She had read a part of it... a teeny, tiny portion of it...

"Oh. I thought the part with Takuya and Yumi was okay…"

"You mean Tetsuya and Yura?"

"Yeah, them!"

"Which part? The whole story is based off of them."

"The part where they are…" Sakura trailed off, blushing. She wished she'd read a less obscene part.

Kakashi quirked a brow.

"…"

"Are…?" he prompted with a gesture of his hand.

"Well, they were hugging and kissing."

"Which they do often," he said.

"And then there was the part where…" Sakura's voice shrunk into an incoherent mumble. Kakashi positively wallowed in her discomfort.

"I'm sorry? I didn't quite catch that."

"I said," she hissed with a grimace, her face ablaze. Kakashi was surprised she didn't spit real venom. "...where her chest is rubbing against his! And she gasped or something… as he pressed his…" Mumble, mumble. "…against her!"

"His what?"

"His co - " she quickly bit off the end of the word, almost grinding her teeth to pulp in the process. If he looked real hard, Kakashi bet that he could see the spark… "Wait a second! You wrote it! So you should know what happens, sensei!"

Kakashi simply nodded, his eye crinkling again as he smiled. "Yes. But, it's much more fun to see you say it."

Sakura hated Kakashi. No, wait - she was beyond it. She was loathe for this man. It was as simple as that. If she waited a moment, she was sure she could feel a aneurism forming in the back of her brain.

"Being the writer and all, it has also come to my attention that your favorite part is one of the more explicitly intimate scenes of my manuscript…" He stopped to watch her expression twist in horror. "Who knew our very own seemingly innocent Sakura-chan was such a pervert?"

"Me? A pervert?" Sakura's voice came in a high-pitched shriek, her attempt at nonchalance significantly unconvincing. Dogs everywhere would be in pain. "I'm not the one who's writing this dime-store smut!"

"Ah, but you did read it," commented Kakashi pointedly, his voice and expression as level-headed as ever. Oh, how he loooved to press her buttons.

"Yeah? Well! Well…" Sakura began to stumble over her words again, her mind going into overdrive as she vigorously searched for something cynical yet cool to say. She couldn't think of anything fresh, so she instead settled for saying something she'd known to stomp on his ego before. "…It wasn't even any good anyway! It wasn't at all believable!"

"Oh?" Kakashi asked, his half-lidded eye regarding her now with something other than amusement. A different something that sent a chill creeping up Sakura's spine.

"It is," she affirmed hotly.

"So, you're saying… that the situations in my manuscript aren't believable?" he intoned in a voice that diminished Sakura's courage like a fire extinguisher to a flame, "…that if you, Sakura, were placed in any one of those 'unbelievable' situations, that you wouldn't feel in the least bit compelled to - "

" - No!" Sakura could only shake her head with a vigor that was more ferocious than she felt. She stared resolutely at her feet, finding that it was becoming increasingly difficult to look at her sensei.

"Somehow," next came Kakashi's voice and Sakura's gaze whipped up only to see the him again looming before her, "I find that unbelievable."

Sakura scarcely had a chance to gasp before she discovered that she had been laid flat against the cushion of his sofa. "Kakashi-sensei! What the heck do you think you're doing?" she growled as he slowly bridged himself over her, the couch dipping with the additional weight. His hands propped on either side of her head as his hips deftly settled between hers.

She nearly had a freaking heart attack.

Sakura frantically searched for some sort of an indication - an explanation for this all of a sudden, but found none as his gaze was the same as always. Hooded and unreadable. "You're… you're kidding, right?" she asked, forcing a jaunty smile as she brought a hand up to jab at his shoulder playfully. "R-right, sensei?"

Sakura fully expected Kakashi to climb right off of her and say, 'You're right Sakura-chan. I'm only joshing you!' And from there they would share an awkward laugh. Then Sakura would make an excuse to go home. And thereafter they would never speak of it again and things would go back to normal. The end!

At least - that's what she had hoped for.

However, the real Kakashi stayed put. He did not climb off of her like she'd anticipated. And instead, he pressed closer still, laying his torso flat against hers. Her breath froze in her throat before coming out ragged, her heart thumping away at her chest as if it were intending to burst from her ribcage. Sakura could feel the distinct muscles of his torso as it squared into hers. She could feel the soft rise and fall of his chest - steady, as opposed to hers. Kakashi was silent, didn't say a word, his eye burning into hers with an intensity that made her want to melt. She gulped.

"Wh-what're you…? S… sensei??"