Omg, everyone…sorry this took so long. It's REALLY hard to write. I'm really writing this from the bottom of my heart. I'm writing this how I'm sure Matt felt. It's hard. I'm more into writing as Mello. I know his character better. This is a stretch for me. Anyways, again, another reason for lateness. I was in the hospital. I was diagnosed with chronic appendicitis, and I was in the hospital in case my appendix needed to be removed. I'm all better now, and I have this for you guys! 8D Enjoy!
"Mello…" I said to him as we wandered the empty streets of Los Angeles at night. "Hey…Mello."
He looked at me, as we passed under a street light. The year was 2005. It was January 21st. It was warm compared to England in January. His eyes were shining brightly under the light.
"What, Matt?" he asked me, as our feet tapped lightly against the sidewalk.
"Weren't there murders here a few years ago?" Mello snorted and began to laugh.
"There're always murders in LA." He laughed. I shook my head, and had to brush my hair from my face.
"No, one's that L was involved in." I restated. Mello and I stopped walking. I checked my watch. It was past eleven. We needed to find somewhere to go tonight.
"Yeah…" Mello said almost dramatically. "The killer went to Wammy House."
"Really?" I asked inquisitively. Mello nodded, assuring me of my answer.
"B." he said. "He was supposed to succeed L. He came way before me and Near." Mello paused. "If he and A didn't die…I wouldn't even be number two." His tone grew more and more solemn. "I'd be forth. Freakin' forth." I said nothing to him and let him go on. "B thought he was better than L. But he wasn't."
I still said nothing.
"He challenged L, the dumb ass. He tried making an unsolvable case but it was solved. L won." Mello's hands ball up into fists. "L won!" He began to scream it. He had no consideration for the time. "You hear that, LA!" he shouted, running out into the middle of the street. There were no cars coming, so he didn't have to worry. "L WON! L BEAT B, GOT IT!"
Mello was running around, down the streets, screaming at the city for being stupid. Cursing B for what he had done. Swearing to the gods that he'll get them back.
"I HATE YOU." He screamed loudly. Mello fell to his knees. "I HATE YOU KIRA!" He was staring down at the ground, small stains of liquid appeared on the ground beneath him. Mello was crying.
For the first time…I had seen Mello truly upset.
I couldn't blame him.
L was an idol to us all.
And Kira took him away.
He didn't even consider how many people he hurt by doing so.
He crushed the dreams of hundreds of orphans.
He was our idol.
And Kira took him away.
"I miss him too." I said to Mello, approaching him and crouching down at his side. I placed a hand on his back. "But it can't be helped, Mello."
Mello raised an arm to his face and started to wipe away the tears.
"I'll be strong." He said. "I'll be strong for L. And for everyone at Wammy House." He begins to stand again. He was still crying.
"Be strong for me." I said, coming behind him, wrapping my arms around my friend, holding him close. "Right now, it's just you and me."
"I…don't quite know…" he said, staring down at the pavement, his hands in tight fists. Tears, shining brilliantly began dripping down his face and staining the road. His body shook a bit. I don't know if it was from fear, being so close to someone, or from something else. But Mello was shaking, and I was the only one there to comfort him. "How to say…how I feel."
"I need you." I said to him sternly. "All that matters is that it's you and me, and we're still kids. We're scared. We're alone." I smiled at him, and held him close to me. "And well…I need you."
Mello shook his head about, his blonde hair flying about wildly. He seemed as if he was going to break away from me, but I kept my arms around him, waiting for my friend to let out his frustrations. He was bawling his eyes out at this point, and his arms were covering his eyes, letting the tears flow between the cracks and moistening his hands.
"Those three words…are said too much…they're not enough." He said sadly. It was true. I told him that I needed him far too much…But, I had this feeling…
Even though he needed more than just me…
That he just needed to hear that from someone.
That someone thought he was number one.
Mello's burns are healing. And quite well. There's no chance in hell that his face will ever be scar free though. It's a large, shaded mess of tan on ivory flesh. It's a good look for him, but, I'd still rather him without it.
I almost want to take him to a private cosmetic surgeon and telling them to make Mello beautiful again.
I wonder what he looked like all grown up without the scar.
We had spent so much time apart. I never got to finish seeing him become an adult.
That's right. We were adults now.
We made it.
Mello's lying on the couch in one of his more comfortable outfits. It's a miracle to me how he was able to retrieve clothes of his after blowing up his place. I think he stashed them somewhere else. He's leaning on his elbow and a pillow, watching the news.
A chocolate bar is stupidly hanging out of his mouth. How the hell does he avoid getting acne?
I pace across the room and look down at Mello from over the couch. He glances up at me with those immaculate, aqua eyes. He almost smiles at me.
Things haven't been the same since I kissed him.
If it wasn't for the damn scar…
I would have kept him like that. I would have kept him in my arms, and stripped us down and yanked him under the covers, and made him mine.
And this time it would have been for good.
But he had pushed away, the pain was too much for him. Otherwise…
If it wasn't for that damn burn…
I would have a lover.
I blame Kira. If it wasn't for Kira, none of this would have happened.
I only chase Kira for Mello.
"Matt? Hello, Earth to Matt" I hear Mello say suddenly. He had shifted his position on the couch and was looking directly up at me. He's seated like a middle school girl, blabbering to her friends about boys and dating. Somehow it suits him.
Even with the scar.
"Sorry." I say to him, leaning on the couch, and fishing in my pockets for a pack of cigarettes. I stare into the carton, it's entirely empty. Lovely. "Was thinking…"
"About what?" Mello asks. His curiosity can be irritating.
But I can't help but love it.
He wouldn't be the same without it.
"Things." I say plainly, pulling a leg up from the floor and stepping over the back of the couch. I almost pull a muscle.
But I get more and more flexible each day.
I bring the rest of my body over the couch and sit down on it. The material around me sinks into itself, sighing as I do too. Mello falls back on his side of the couch.
"What things?" he asks. I roll my eyes at him, and stare at his rippled, deformed flesh. He's lost so much beauty.
"Things." I say again. Mello's face distorts, growing ugly as each muscle twists. If that scar wasn't bad enough…his sadness makes it worse.
I want Mello to be beautiful.
He lays out, arms draped over the edge of the piece of furniture. Mello raises a leg and kicks me roughly in the arm. I swear. Mello's still wearing his boots, and refuses to take them off.
I think he's self conscious about his feet.
He's self conscious about his feet…but not that horrible intrusion of burnt flesh upon his face.
He's wonderful.
"Don't avoid it, Matt." He snaps, his eyes have lost their beauty too when he frowns. Please Mello…smile. For me?
"Fine." I snort, looking from him. "I was thinking about you." There's silence between us for a moment, but I hear Mello begin to laugh.
"You embarrassed about that?" he snorts, sitting up a bit, adjusting his position so he has a glimpse of my face.
My cheeks are like fire.
Soon they'll be just as burnt as Mello.
We can be unattractive together.
I don't say anything to him, but I feel his hand under my chin. He's not wearing his gloves around me.
I don't think he wants to.
His fingers cup around my chin, and turn me towards him.
The burn on my cheeks has already begun.
"Don't be." He says, as our eyes stay connected for a moment.
This time…
Mello makes a move.
His head tilts to the side.
His eyes shut slowly.
Almost like curtains.
His lips press against mine.
A slight gap is between them.
He's hoping for a response.
His lower lip pulsates.
And my lips press back.
My eyes are like butterfly wings.
One moment they're wide open.
The next they've fluttered shut.
My hand crawls across the couch.
Mello's hand drops from my chin.
It lands on my hand.
And it squeezes mine tightly.
I begin to press myself towards him, lowering us both down on the couch.
Christ, Mello…
Please…
"If I lay here…" I say to him, separating us for a brief moment. "If I just lay here…would you lie with me…and just forget the world?"
Mello nods slightly. No words could describe the feeling between us right now.
But our lips connect once more. This time, it's not hesitant and nervous. This time…it has real confirmation. And acceptance.
Please Mello…
My other hand manifests itself and presses against his burnt cheek. Mello winces. It's still painful for him.
Let me in. Let me love you.
I brush the hair from his face, caressing each inch of him. He's the most amazing person…
His flesh may be ugly…
But his spirit is too beautiful for words.