His Personal Hell

by Adara the Dark Sage

Robin has lost the only two people that ment the world to him. Will he ever pull out of his deep depression, or will it take over him completely? RxR T for suicide and language a three-part story THE ONLY PART I OWN IS THE PLOTLINE

2. Chapter 2

Part Two: Reasons

So you've decided to read on, I'm proud of you. You're probably wondering to yourself, what could be bothering this poor boy so much that he tried to kill himself again six times this month? Well, I can answer that but you'll just have to wait for the answer. First, I'm going to tell you a bit more about the girl I met; the one who is so much like my fallen best friend. Her name was Cory Jordan Hathaway (or I called her CJ.) She was everything to me; everything that died with Raven, came back to me the day I met CJ. It's like Raven sent CJ to me as a sign that I should move on.

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You're probably trying to figure out why I've tried to kill myself so many times again this month, and I admire you for your perseverance, so I'll give you the answer you've been looking for. I've tried so many times again, because just as fast as the happiness came back into my life for the first time since Raven's death, it went away even faster. CJ met her boyfriend at a club one night for a party her friend was throwing. She and her boyfriend got into a huge argument, and her boyfriend ended up shooting her in the back when she tried to get away from him.

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After the death of CJ and the constant flowing back of my memories of Raven, I had enough. Time and Time again, I tried a new way to end the hell I have been going through, but time and time again, they all fucking failed miserably. I've given up all hope on everything, and I'm just ready to finally meet my creator once and for all (not the one you're thinking of, the other one.) People tell me not to kill myself, because it'll hurt them emotionally, well, like I said in the last chapter if you were paying attention, I don't give a shit about people's emotions anymore.

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I've tried so many times to kill myself because I want to be forever reunited with the people that brought happiness into my life for the first, second, and last times. Every time I close my fucking eyes, I see the two girls that brought me happiness looking down and smiling at me, dressed as they were the day the left this world for the next. How I long to be with them,to be away from this world, but I know that will never happen, so long as I am still on this earth. So there you have it: my reasons for trying to kill myself so many times. You're probably saying to yourself, "well, if this boy was so troubled, why didn't he seek counseling? Why didn't his family, his friends, or his teachers do anything to help him?" I have looked for counseling, my family has tried to help me, and my teachers have all tried also, but, they all say that I seem to be in this irreversible depression state that I can't get out of. The shock of loosing the only two people I held dear was too much for me and I fell into a depressive state that I've been in ever since.

That's another reason why I've tried so many times to kill myself.