Chapter 5: Elements of Change

Author: Ardith S.

A/N: Sorry for the length. The characters don't belong to me. I'm new to Doctor Who and just want to play for a little while. Also this story contains adult situations, so be warned.

The human race endlessly fascinated the Doctor. Their ability to keep pushing the envelope and to thrive was spectacular. But it was one particular human held him in thrall like no other. Rose Tyler awakened something in him he thought long dead, lost in the ashes of Gallifrey. She reminded him that life is never stagnant or sterile. The universe and the creatures that populated it were always changing.

As soon as he grabbed her hand the day they first met, something clicked between them. She belonged in this universe, his universe. There might be one way they could reach each other. If it worked out, perhaps they could pull it off without destroying both universes across the void.

The Doctor stood in front of the controls, setting the TARDIS to head back to Earth. The ship seemed even emptier after he dreamt of her. Seeing her again had only reinforced that fact. Her beautiful eyes looked so tired. She'd lost some weight. Was she working too hard or was something else draining her.

So when he heard Rose's call from across the void, he could only hope that he could do something before it was too late.

Maybe it was human nature to think back and wish things were different. But Rose Tyler learned that fiddling with time brought heavy consequences. Certain lines could not be crossed. Certain actions were forbidden.

Rose regretted so many things. Oh, not swanning off with the Doctor. Being with him changed her life--awakened something bigger and stronger within her than she ever thought possible. The Doctor and Rose. Their souls knew each other the moment their eyes met. Kindred spirits looking for something... more.

But Rose wished, deep in her heart, that she had been a little braver, just a little more bold. Wished that she had taken a chance--before the universe was torn asunder and she was left in the cold. The loss of the Doctor had been a bitter pill. She wept in her mothers arms clinging to the knowledge he felt the same, that he wanted her safe. Though they were separated, they were both still alive and strong.

And alone.

Burying herself in work, she found solace in alien technology and communication. She didn't know when it happened, but Torchwood had somehow become her life. Working that close with alien technology brought her that much closer to him.

So sitting in the TARDIS having the Doctor scan her with his sonic screwdriver seemed to be the prefect ending to a brilliant morning.

She stared into the green glow of the TARDIS unblinkingly. The humming from within the ship almost warmed her. It was as if the TARDIS knew her even in this alternate world--a long missed friend. It was a bit of a come down from the rush of seeing her Doctor again. Their dream fusion had strengthened her resolve. Rose did not belong in this universe, but she never thought that she might not belong in any universe. The time vortex had made her into something...other.

Finally, Rose noticed that he had stopped scanning. The Doctor held her hands to ward of the chill, but cold was persistent. For a long time, no one spoke. Finally, the Doctor began, "You aren't an abomination, Rose. You're just... unexpected. You've been transformed on the molecular level. Your cells are regenerating and maintaining themselves to a degree that is, well, improbable."

"My one joy in life is to be unexpected. So, I'm sort of being constantly repaired?" Her voice was raw from her tears. She must look a mess, but Rose didn't really care. He grinned half-heartedly, squeezing her hands. Rose sniffed a bit. Taking a deep breath, she gathered herself.

"No one in the universe is supposed to absorb the time vortex. What you did was forbidden for a reason. If a Time Lord did that, he would become a god and rock the universe asunder. But you are human and humans are sometimes an unknown quantity." The Doctor seemed to grow more excited. "And you, Rose Tyler, have proven that the capacity of human kind. The ability to thrive in the face of impossibility." The familiar gleam in his eyes both comforted her and made her heart ache. "The time vortex has changed you. Perhaps it lay dormant for a while, but something has triggered your transformation."

Rose laughed hollowly. "The protocol thing. I couldn't stop myself from touching it. It was like it called to me. Then the time vortex must have restarted inside of me."

"Perhaps, but you said you'd been dreaming of the vortex for months--years! Times like this I wish I could speak with someone who understands, as arrogant as most of the Time Lords were." The Doctor stood and began to pace around the heart of the TARDIS. "They--we controlled so much. Or tried to. With the Time Lords gone, the pathways between universes fractured. Long ago, we oversaw all paths. Even though there were dimensions upon dimensions, we were so controlled. Only one of us existed, able to observe each universe from Gallifrey." The Doctor stopped, his hands in his pockets as if bracing himself for the next thought.

"What happened?" she asked, unable to resist knowing more about his past.

"Of course it couldn't last. Nothing lasts forever. Maybe it is an innate part of all creatures, the capacity for war. We had thought we were above it. I was ordered to go into the past to destroy the Daleks before they were made. The council thought it was preventative. The best way to stop a horrible threat. To the Daleks, it was genocide in the basic sense. So the war escalated until everything was in ruins and the universes were split. And I was the only one left across them all. The universe would have been destroyed by the Daleks. No matter how the Time Lords tried to finesse timelines." His voice was sharp with bitterness. "It was the only way. And even then, some of the damn things survived."

Rose knew the Daleks disturbed the Doctor greatly, but she never suspected that the Time Lords had gone to such lengths to stop them. "I spoke with him. My Doctor. Using the Lenux Protocol Center thing. He called it 'Dream Fusion.' It was how we could reach through the void. It was some sort of telepathy, right?"

"That would be what is causing the massive spike in energy. You must not touch it anymore. And you can't control it. Didn't he tell you to stop it?"

"We didn't talk about the box. I didn't know what it was for and there were distractions," she mumbled, blushing. The Doctor's eyebrows rose, but she ignored the shocked amusement in his gaze. "Anyway, I'm still alive. After dying, I mean."

"Yes, well... The energy that it drains from you might be damaging you in other ways. You. Must. Stop. It was built for psychotropic beings that have excess psychic energy. They use the box to focus and concentrate their powers. Humans are not meant to power them. At least not yet."

"To concentrate their powers and allow them to communicate across space and time?" she asked quietly.

"Yep."

"Beyond the void."

"At least in your experience. But how do you know it was it really him?"

"It was the Doctor. And maybe reaching out to him is worth the damage."

"But that begs a new question, Ms. Tyler. Who brought the device to Earth? As it has been a catalyst in, erm, awakening your powers, they might not be here on a day trip."

Rose was exhausted when she finally went to bed. The afternoon was spent going over possibilities with the Doctor. She then dragged him home to meet her mother, Pete, and Mickey.

"It's sort of a reunion, isn't it," Mickey mumbled. "He's not totally different from the Doctor." They watched the poor man try to take in her mother as Jackie went on to tell him about the alternate universe and their adventures. The Doctor seemed to deal with the avalanche of over-familiar humans wry acceptance. He did not hesitate to hold Jamie or chat with her father and mother, as if seeking some sort of connection. It struck Rose that this Doctor might be even lonelier than hers.

"He isn't my Doctor. And you and Ricky weren't all that different. Bravest human in both universes."

Mickey snorted. "Yeah. Well Ricky didn't have you. You've always been special. Even before any of this happened. Like a key for change."

"Not likely. "

"Rose, things just happen around you. You just never noticed until the Doctor showed you."

Mickey had taken to this universe as if he had always belonged, finally growing up and finding his place in the world. One thing mum and Mickey have in common. They've both found where they belong. Her mother seemed to be resigned to the fact that Rose needed to go back and would never be satisfied until then. Though Rose loved her parents, Jamie, and Mickey, she just didn't belong.

The evening ended with plans to take the TARDIS south to Dartmoor in the morning. The Doctor needed to study the crash site for himself. Rose was not about to let him go down there without her. And while Time Lords worked on different body clocks, humans needed their sleep.

And truthfully, Rose wanted more than sleep. She wanted to see him.

When the Doctor opened his eyes, Rose was laying next to him. The bed was so narrow that he could feel her body heat before he saw her. Her blonde hair fanned around her head and the depth of her eyes caught his breath. "You have a Lenux Protocol Center," the Doctor stated flatly. "You have no idea of what that it is capable of. That thing can kill you."

"It already has." She sat up. He took note of her garb as the fabric slithered across her skin. The pink nightgown clung to her body, shimmering in the lights of her rooms.

"What?" he sputtered, realizing what she'd just said. "What?"

"It's draining my psychic energy. I've already had several serious talks on the subject. Oh, here's a new development! Met the other Doctor. He thinks I'm a bit of a puzzle."

"Rose, go back. You're not dead." Even to himself, his voice sounded strained, as if he was trying not to shout.

"Not anymore. The other Doctor says that the time vortex changed me," Rose replied quietly. "I don't... I don't know what I am anymore." She looked so lost then. In the dim lights, she looked even younger than her years. A child betrayed by time itself.

"That's impossible. I took it all out of you." He reached for his sonic screwdriver and swept it across her. His hands shook. He ignored the shaking and forced himself to think. His mind ran through possibilities, discarding them at lightning speed.

"Doctor, that doesn't mean it didn't change me," said Rose patiently. "I can tell you the results. I'm not normal anymore. My DNA is wonky. I think that something triggered a change in me. It was probably latent."

"But you aren't like Jack."

"What happened to Jack." Rose stared at him in shock. He'd never told Rose that Jack had been changed. He didn't want to explain that her goddess powers saved Jack from death for eternity.

There was no more avoiding it. He sighed. "You changed him him that day on Satellite 5. You gave him life again. Just... not death. But he's not quite right. Well, I mean his mind is fine, but there's just something not right about him."

"And I'm the same, Doctor. I was dead, but I came back. I don't know what I am anymore."

"Rose." He opened his arms and pulled her close, breathing in her scent. "You are amazing. And you are not like Jack."

"I don't know if we can meet like this again. The Doctor -- the other Doctor says that it's too dangerous for me to use the box."

"It is. Worlds have been destroyed by that device. It's banned on most planets. Rose. The Doctor from that universe. He's helping you now?"

"I'm not traveling with him or anything. But there is something strange going on here. A ship crashed, It carried several devices including the Lenux Protocol and several barrels of Krillitane oil. I was worried about a Krillitane threat. But we're going to investigate." She couldn't resist anymore. He was so close. His lips were smooth as she pressed closer to kiss him. She wanted to feel normal. Whole. And the one man in the universe who made her feel that way was here, with her. If only in a dream.

"We should..." He kissed her back. "We can't. Rose." But he continued, deepening his kiss. "Rose..."

"Doctor, if this is the last I can see of you for a while, I want something to remember you by."

"If you put it that way," he mumbled. "No, wait! Rose, you remember the rift in Cardiff? It exists there, too?"

"Yes. We've a Torchwood there since all sorts of strange things drift through it," she whispered between kisses. "Why?" She could only cling as he kissed her, his hands moving across the silk of her gown. She smelled of roses and musk. His mouth drifted down her neck, pausing to nibble as he waited for her to catch up. "Oh. The rift." Her eyes drifted close.

"There might be a way. But you have the crash site to contend with. I'll work on my end in the meantime." Her hands were busy with his clothing. He let her undress him, but returned the favor even more swiftly.

"You're perfect," he whispered against her skin. She arched into him as he suckled at her breast. She fought to keep her eyes open, trying to absorb every touch and hold on to each memory. He knew that this night would have to sustain them both. Her skin was so soft. He just needed to touch her, kiss each part of her. So he did.

Rose gasped when she felt him reach her center. His fingers entered her as his mouth kissed. She felt flushed, her fingers tangling in his hair, drawing him closer until she fell into perfection. He moved up her body, then taking her mouth again with a barely restrained desperation. She held on, her legs curling around his hips as he entered her with one thrust.

In the darkness of her quarters, the faraway hum of the TARDIS faded away. All she could feel was him. All she could taste was him. He kissed the tears from her eyes as he moved against her. She stared into his beautiful brown eyes and let the worries of the universe fall away so she could remember all of him. His lips met hers and she let go again, praying it would be enough.

"I never want to sleep." Rose spoke those words into his skin, where his neck met his shoulder. "If I close my eyes, I'll wake up back at home. Alone." She closer, burying her face into his neck. He felt the warmth of her tears, but she didn't say anything else. He could feel her heart beating beneath his hand.

The Doctor shifted, rising up on his arm. He pushed her hair back from her face to look deeply into her hazel eyes. "There is a way, Rose."

"Good. Because I promised you forever." For a long time they held each other until the darkness overtook them. When he opened his eyes, he was alone.