Holy crapansies I have a angel. Her name be-ith Kurai the Angel and she's my BETA!

-Cries overdramatically- I'm so happy to have a goph-----A wonderful new friend that helps me with my fanfictions!

Kiba and Shino mildly wondered how Hinata dealt with Naruto for so long as she did. He acted like he was the baby instead of the thing inside...inside Naruto's womb!

Naruto knew how he was acting though. He was very aware of the hyperactive energy he was having fun with by making everyone else's lives miserable. Oh, yes. The only way to deal with it was to make everyone else miserable.

Very, very miserable.

Oh, how he wished Sasuke were here. He vaguely wondered how off about his predictions were. Probably not much; he knew Sasuke as well as he knew himself if not better. Again he let out an unsatisfied sigh. Sasuke would keep him busy.

Very, very busy.

Smiling he looked at the two lovers tied with ropes and duct tape in the chairs, but not attached to them because Naruto figured he play with them like barbie dolls, but later found it would be funner if he had Shikamaru's shadow jutsu thingies. Oh their sweet moans of imprisonment-- it almost made Naruto hard. No one could ever say duct tape wasn't useful. If anything duct tape was the real God here. It had the ability to practically fix anything -- or make anything suffer.

Naruto set a glance on the two prisoners again. The looks on their faces had fear, lots of it, almost so much it hit Naruto what was happening to Sasuke was happening to him.

They just had different ways of dealing with it.

Naruto sighed. He wondered if he could get up with porn.

No.

He wondered if he could get his two house guest up on porn.

Porn would be fun, and great.

Really really great.

In fact it was so great he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door, calling out "I'm going out for some gay porn to use against you, be back in an hour!"

Naruto smiled and went to the nearest store that he knew sold porn. He'd have to make sure he kept his child away from Kakashi when he was almost done with a book.

Oh, his child!

He rubbed his bump of a tummy. He was kind of hungry, but even so he continue on thinking about his child.

It would be a girl. He could feel it. She'll have Sasuke's grace and almond shaped eyes, hopefully she'd have his blue eye color, darker and more beautiful with features of her own. She'll be cunning and kind and oh so very smart.

He closed his eyes walking down the forest pathway to the village.

If it was a boy, if the baby turned out stupid and clumsy, Naruto still could only wish for it to be healthy. That truly was the only thing that mattered.

"Hey Naruto," Sakura called out, her lover, Lee, and her best friend Ino by her side. "What's up?"

"Ah, Naruto! The story of youth Sakura and Ino must know has not been told to the unpromised youth!" Lee cut in, he knew his love, always so outgoing and youthful like as she always chose the hard way to go about things.

"Lee!" Sakura and Ino called out, embarrassed by his strait forward blutnliness.

Naruto looked at Lee smiling. He loved Lee, as a friend, and it would be a challenge to drive him mad. "Buy me ramen."

-----

Sasuke thoughts were only on Naruto. Every time someone touched him it was Naruto. Naruto sliding his hands over his arms, Naruto there right next to him. Naruto, Naruto, NARUTO!

Oh God, he loved Naruto.

It wasn't something nessecarily new to him but, oh God.

He hated Naruto.

He bet Naruto knew. Naruto knew this was going to happen. God dammit.

He was never going on a long term mission without Naruto there to explain everything.

He was going insane!

He curled down and covered his ears with his hands. He only had to wait another thirty days, sixteen hours, twenty-thr--two minutes, fourty-six seconds and thirteen milliseconds.

Oh, yeah, he was going to die.

His internal clock kept ticking and ticking away as he stood there in a semi fetal position alone in the hotel as the rest of his team went to get the scroll.

Shit, Sasuke thought, they'll be back soon.

His breath came out shacky as he stood and waited for his team.

Letting out an uncharistic cry he shouted, "I'm going to die!"

----

"Here's another!" Naruto vouched as he finished the bowl of ramen and placed it on the stack of bowls that teeter-tottered on Lee's foot.

Lee wiped his brow, and motioned to put his other arm down to help him balance.

"No, no Lee!" Naruto scolded. "You want your lovely lady to hear the secret everybody but her and her best friend knows about, hmm? You gotta keep your promise to balance twenty-six bowls on your foot while doing a handstand on one hand. That was only the twenty-third one. Three to go!"

Sakura, Ino and the rest of the restaurant looked mortified at Lee and Naruto as Naruto continued onto the next bowl. He ate it painfully slow as he watched Lee suffer.

He finished it and placed it on Lee's stack. Taking in a breath he started to walk away from Lee.

"Stay there Lee. I'm not hungry anymore so don't move until you have two more bowls on there and take a picture or until I get back to eat some more!" Naruto sang-song out of the restaurant, ignoring Sakura's raging calls to get his ass back in there and get Lee to stop.

Naruto smiled and gave her a wave of a birdy and left the restaurant. The bookstore caught his attention.

Oh, yes the porn!

------

Shino couldn't help but growl at Kiba--through the duct tape -- for getting up so easy off of seeing some random naked guys.

Naruto of course made it the way by making them face each other so the could see how happy they were. He himself was happy, but not in the same way Kiba was.

"Bondage your thing Kiba? Makes sense, I suppose, being part doglike and all. Gotta have those chains and collars around all the time, no? There something to look forward to, Shino." Naruto said, flipping the page and watching Kiba grow more happy. Shino was, too, though Naruto was pretty sure it was because of the way Kiba looked.

Naruto wondered if you could replace something with air using the replacement jutsu. He'd have to try it on Sasuke when he got back, maybe it'll save their clothes. Probably not.

He looked at the page and all happiness was lost. If only he were like Kiba, able to get an erection from seeing pictures.

Naruto let the magazine fall down on a page that he flipped through and found with bondage leaving it in Kiba's view and leaving the room.

Only a month more to go.

But, for seriously, I have to thank her for wasting her time on my patheticness. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!