A/N: Oh my good Akuroku gods above. I'm such a horrible, horrible authoress, aren't I? I'm not even worth that title anymore. Letter-stringer-upper is probably all I deserve right now. I haven't updated in… O.o Almost three months. Ouch. I don't even have good excuses!!! Okay, let's start at the beginning. I had finals the whole month of December, and I had to study for those, and so didn't have a single chance to write. Then, when those were over, my brain was fried and D-E-D, so I didn't write 'til Christmas, at which time I was shipped off to South Caroline to visit my loving family for a week, and I can't write over there, because 1) I'm ashamed to admit that that particular section of my family is homophobic, and 2) I can't just lock myself up in my room when I could be spending time with my cousins. It's just not done.

Okay, next. January. I have no horribly lame reason for this month. AT ALL. I was lazy. I was a horribly horrible person and should therefore go die a horribly painful and painfully horrible death. I'm sorry. I am. Really, truly, bucket-full-of-sorrow sorry.

Then February! Okay, I was writing during February. I just…wasn't writing Kingdom Hearts. My friend AnimePenguin (yes, yes, go blame her, not me! DX) introduced me to Bleach, and so I wrote something for her favorite pairing that turned out to be not one, not five, not ten, not fifteen, but sixteen pages long. And it took up a lot of my time. Also, the teachers were being all mean and stuff with tests and homework and other stuff that is cruel to this particular autho— letter-stringer-upper.

BUT NOW I'M BACK! And with an extremely short one shot, another medium-length chapter, and a huge one-shot for a non-yaoi couple.

….

Kill me now. I'm really really REALLY sorry.

But I'm back, so maybe, in a couple of years, you can forgive me.

Maybe.

Dedicated to x dearest mistake, who supported me for so long, but (I think) met her untimely demise at the hands of something called 'grounding' –sob-.

Thanks gazillions to:

AnimePenguin, DoOmening, Jextia, and, once again, x dearest mistake. My love to you forever and ever and ever, and then a little after that.

Hope you like it! Sorry for the unbeta'd-ness of it, but I wanted to post it really fast. DX

IMPORTANT: Go check the last chapter again. I added 2k words and fixed it up A LOT. It makes more sense and isn't as rushed. I like it a lot more now X3

Chapter Six: Liquid Illusions

Barely visible in the harsh light of passing cars, a small boy lie crumpled on the side of the street, clothes muddy and dirty golden hair strewn like a halo around his face, his eyes shut tightly, barely breathing. After a time, one of the drivers noticed him, and swerved to the side of the road. A young, seemingly twenty-five year old man walked out, dressed in a dark blue suit that contrasted sharply with the rundown surroundings. He crouched next to the boy, shaking his shoulders and shouting at him, asking if he's all right, who he is, if he's okay, yet knowing deep down he is anything but.

.:R . o . x . a . s:.

I struggled to open my eyes, the effort to lift my heavy lids almost too much for my foggy mind. I caught a brief flash of light, a small glimpse of white, before everything went dark again. I heard a low chuckle next to my ear, but ignored it for the time being, trying doggedly to figure out where I was, and how exactly I got there. The last thing I remembered was being at Axel's house…was it possible I was still there? No, wait… I remembered with all the shock of a lightning strike. Ansem. I jerked forward suddenly, my eyes snapping open in panic with my newly found adrenaline induced energy.

Frightened, I didn't stop to think about what I was doing, just tried to bolt from my seat like there was no tomorrow. In retrospect, not such a great idea. I saw a pristine marble table rush up towards me, and I winced in preparation for the hard, cold impact that never came. I felt slim arms around my waist, catching me before I fell to my white, marble-caused doom.That amused chuckle sounded out again

"Whoa now, sweet, don't want you dying so soon after just getting here!"

I frowned in concentration. The voice sounded oddly familiar…Huh. I pushed the issue aside and turned to thank the person for catching me, twisting my head and looking over my shoulder. The arms still around my waist tightened, and I saw—

"Holy crap." My jaw dropped, shattering on impact with the floor.

The other me laughed, a broad grin on features exactly the same as mine, blonde spikes just like my own bouncing as he rolled my shoulders. He opened his eyes again, but something was off. Instead of my sapphire blue eyes, he had two almost painfully black eyes, darker than night, so empty that they seemed to draw the light and warmth in, trapping it in their cold depths.

"Lovely to meet you too, Roxas." He rolled the 'r' in my name, playing with the sound.

My eyes, mine, not his, narrowed. "Who are you?"

Who-ever-it-was clicked his tongue at me in a playful half laugh. "It's not 'who' you should be asking, my pet, it's 'what'. But I digress. Hmmm… who am I? Well, I suppose you could call me Sax."

"Sax?" I echoed.

"Mmm, yes. I have a longer name, but we're all friends here, right, 'Rox'?" He grinned and gestured around the room with his right hand, keeping his left firmly fastened around my waist. He finally looked away from my face, and turned his unrelenting stare to the rest of the room, inviting me to look.

Everything was white- completely and utterly white. There were no windows or doors, just an incredibly long white table with multiple chairs on both sides. The chairs reminded me of Alice in Wonderland- you know, the scene with the Mad Hatter and all of those mismatched chairs and teapots? These chairs were just like that, some tall, some short, big, small, cushioned, metal, except they had one thing in common: they were all bleached white.

The only non-white objects in the room were on the table. In front of each chair was a black goblet, and not a cup, mind you, but an onyx black goblet. They differed just like the chairs, as in they had different shapes, but were all the exact same color of pure, unblemished black.

The table itself went on seemingly forever in the other direction, rows of goblets and chairs extending with it. From where Sax and I were seated, at the end of the table, you couldn't even see the end.

In front of us on the table were two diamond glasses, crystal clear and reflecting the light through their many facets. The two chalices, though transparent, and, I noticed, empty, were providing the only color in the room, casting small rainbows on the table.

"Hmmm, heh, so, what do you think of my, and soon to be your, humble abode?" Again, he used his right hand to gesture around, finally tapping my head with his index finger.

"My? What are you talking about? You haven't even told me where I am!" I shouted, hysteria leaking into my voice as I tried to stand up, but Sax's arm prevented me from getting very far.

"Mmm, I believe you will be staying with me for quite some time. As to where you are, well, I don't want to ruin the suspense. You will find out soon enough, oh yes. Besides, I believe in this case it is best for a… visual reference."

"Visual reference?" I repeated while craning my neck to see if I could find an exit. It was like being Rapunzel stuck in her tower with no way out. In that case, maybe I should've grown my hair out longer. I hated having to be rescued. Oh well, this whole shebang was probably just an eccentric dream anyway. Sooner or later Prince Charming will come and save me, right?

My face fell. Axel had always been the one to rescue me in the past. What was he doing now? Did he even notice I was gone? I never even told him about… and now it might be too late.

Suddenly, Sax snapped his head back around to face me. "Thinking of him already? Hn. Well then, I suppose you do need to be happy, that's why you're here, and I do need to show you a few things… Here! Up we go, sweet. Time for that visual reference."

Sax jumped from the chair, using one hand to drag me along behind and the other to snatch one of the clear goblets. My doppelganger paused at a small, rickety yet cushioned seat, pushing me into it. He took the black cup in front of me and poured a black, goopy substance from it into the transparent one.

"All of your memories and feelings from your life pool in your heart, gathering dust yet growing stronger every time you use them. They are always there, always will be, substantiating in the dark depths of your memory, making you who you are. I collect them, I suppose. It's better than real life, at least, what with all that anger and hatred there, all that betrayal. No worries here; the past cannot hurt you. I'll protect you from the nightmares now, my pet. Here, let me show you."

Sax proffered the crystal glass, and I hesitantly took it, shifting in my chair.

"Go on, sweet. It'll be worth it, you'll see."

I slowly raised the crystal glass to my lips, but stopped, staring at my reflection in the liquid, watching two blue eyes stare back.

Sax frowned, and quickly shoved the end of the glass, effectively tipping the black syrup into my surprised mouth. I choked, feeling my heart skip a beat, and blacked out.

"Hey, kid, you all right?" A loud, arrogant voice resounded above me.

I blearily opened my eyes, a foggy picture coming into view. Bright, acid green was the first thing I noticed, the orbs it belonged to sparkling humorously at me from a foot away.

"Holy shit!" I scrambled backwards crab-style, my back hitting the wall. Wait… wall? I hurriedly glanced around, spying an empty brick hallway with rows of green lockers lining the sides.

"Wha…? Where am I?" And where's Sax? I asked, not adding the last part, wondering if the three people in front of me had anything to do with my sudden appearance and disappearance from Sax's strange lair.

One of the people laughed, and my gaze shot to him. He had the strangest shade of strawberry brown hair—so strawberry, in fact, it was almost pink. The girl to his left was a blonde like me, but hers was slicked back with gel, leaving two strands dangling, like antennae.

The third… oh, the third was a face I knew too well. That shock of red hair, the feline, angular face with cheek bones sharp enough to cut steel, oh yes. Even though he looked around five years younger, I'd recognize Axel anywhere.

"I think you might've hit him a bit too hard, Axel, dear," the girl jeered, mockingly, and though she aimed her words at Axel, I could feel the contempt she shot at me. She seemed… familiar, just like the other person… Lock, Lauren, Lark… Larxene! That was it, Larxene and Marluxia, from high school.

High school. Oh shit.

Axel ignored her, just like he always did. He bent down, offering me a hand. "Well," he joked. "Looks like we hit it off well, don't you think?"

I reached up to take his hand, but was surprised when my actual body did no such thing. Instead, I watched helplessly as I twisted my head to glare at him and stood up by myself, pausing only once before walking off in the opposite direction.

"Hey, wait!" He skidded in front of me. "The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

Internally, I winced. The catchphrase. I shoved past him and hurried on, whispering softly as I walked away. "I don't need your help."

I didn't look back, but my ears still caught a venomous, "Why'd you chase after him?" and an answering, "I thought he was cute, that's all."

I knew he didn't mean it, but did the memory me know? I saw rather than felt small, stubborn tears on my cheeks and my arm moving up to wipe those tears away ashamedly. Why was my body acting on its own? Why couldn't I move by my own will? And why, oh why, was I back in 9th damn grade, back with Larxene and the rest? It was like watching a movie- no matter how much you screamed at the T.V., the characters still made the same stupid mistakes.

Shush, my pet. The amused voice of Sax echoed in my head— or was it even mine any more?

Remember what I said? This is a memory. You can't change the past, dear heart. Sure, sometimes you can fool yourself into believing something false, or try too hard to remember and remember something that never happened, but this is the memory's true essence right here—it won't let you lie to yourself. All I can say now is, well, enjoy the show! Then he was gone. (A/N: Okay, since a lot of people seem really confused about this, I'm going to state what Sax said again: this is a memory. Roxas is in a memory right now. This is him watching Memory-Roxas and Memory-Axel interact. Real-Axel isn't there, and Real-Roxas can't do anything to change the outcome of what's happening. I'll say it again: this is a memory.)

Memory-Roxas hurried across the white tile floor, darting through an open door just as the bell rang overhead. Real-me sighed. If memory served (which it never does, of course. Memory caters- an hour late with half the food) it was going to be a long day.

As it turns out, the day wasn't actually all that long. Remember how, before, I said being in my memory was like watching a movie? Well, it's more so than I thought. Sax 'fast-forwarded' it, for lack of a better term, in the middle of Algebra II, skipping through everything. It was now just after school, around the time when I should—

"Hey, Sunshine. Fancy meeting you here. How was your first day?"

–meet up with Axel again. Roxas turned around to see the redhead smirking at her, arms crossed as he lounged against an open door.

"Good, no thanks to you and yours… Axel." Roxas and I said, making me feel as though I had control again, if only because my Axel had never let me forget this day.

"So you did memorize it! 'Grats, then," he smirked, ignoring Roxas's icy glare. He always did have some weird immunity to them- or maybe it was just that he didn't care. "And, yeah, sorry about this morning. I really didn't mean to slam into you like that… it sounded like you hit your head really hard. You all right?"

I watched amusedly as Memory-Roxas completely ignored the worried undertones to his voice, and made to push past him. However, he did not expect Axel to be quite so stubborn, nor did he expect the redhead to grab his arm as he walked by.

"Hey, wait up. No need to be all cold and stuff; I'm not going to slam you into another wall, jeez. Here, look, uh… let me make it up to you, all right?" He released Roxas's arm and stood back, crossing his hands behind his head. Roxas stared at him suspiciously, not walking away, but not completely surrendering, either.

Axel grinned, knowing Roxas was giving him a chance. "Okay! So, um… wow, I didn't actually think you'd let me…"

The blonde deadpanned. "Are you going to do something or what? I have a bus to catch."

Axel started, jumping up and grabbing my memory self's arm again, dragging him to the school parking lot. "I'm going to take you to Rainbow Sorbet for some Sea Salt ice cream. And don't worry about the bus- I'll take you back home."

Roxas couldn't help but be dragged along, and I could feel his mouth twitching, having to work hard at keeping the apathetic mask on. Axel was just… kind of funny to watch, you know? He was like fire, always moving, dancing to his own beat.

"Hey, wait, are you even old enough to drive? I thought you were a sophomore!"

Axel looked back, surprised, then sheepish. "Oh, yeah. Um, don't tell anyone?"

Roxas glared. "You're joking, right?"

"Um, sure?" The redhead replied nervously, adding on a small half-laugh as he opened the door for his would-be guest.

Memory-me sighed, but stepped into his silver Toyota anyway. "All right, let's get this over with."

Best decision of my life.

Axel and Roxas sat in a booth near the back of the ice cream shop, stuck in a deep, uncomfortable, and highly awkward awkward silence. Thirteen points on the ten scale for the 'prickly, stickly, get me out of here now,' factor.

Roxas was resolutely licking his ice cream, determinedly staring at the table and not the one who had brought him there. Axel, across from him, wasn't doing all that much better.

"So…" Axel started, coughing uneasily. "What classes are you taking?"

The blonde's head still didn't come up. "Why do you care?' He shot back.

Axel blinked, snapping up in shock and… anger. "Why do I… care? Why… do I care? I care, Sunshine, because I'm sitting here with you, buying you ice cream, trying to have a polite conversation with you so it won't be the most awkward moment of my life.

"I care because I'm trying to find out more about you, because you're always by yourself, you never let anyone get close, and you have this cold, apathetic mask that says you don't care about the rest of the world, but your big, multi-colored, beautiful eyes have so much hurt and sadness in them it's breaking my heart. I care, because I want to figure you out. You're a puzzle that I want to solve, all right? I want to help. Because I care. Got it memorized?"

"You have to put the pieces back together to solve this puzzle, Axel," Roxas said under his breath, linking his hands together in the classic body language sign for comfort.

"What was that?" Axel frowned and leant forward, eyebrows furrowed. He was still on a roll from his 'I care' rant, I guess. He liked delivering great, long, (sometimes) meaningful monologues when he was mad— you should've seen him on the debate team. The other kids never knew what hit 'em.

"Uh…" If there was one thing I had suspected would happen that day, Axel's speech was not it. Come to thing of it, no one had ever told me anything of the sort before. I hadn't even known he had seen me in class, or noticed me. He had said that I was a puzzle, but… that day, for me, Axel was the real enigma.

"I mean, um… th-thanks." Whether I was thanking him for the ice cream or the kind words, even now I wasn't sure.

"Oh, you're wel— wait. What?!"

Roxas fidgeted. "You heard me." I snorted mentally. I could count the number of people I had said 'thank you' to on one hand; he better have heard me.

Axel grinned widely, face nearly split in half by the smirk. "Maybe I did. Well, you are quite welcome, Sunshine mine."

Roxas tried to glare at the nickname, he really did, but that was the thing about Axel's moods: they were contagious. He let a small smile slip for a brief second as he finally looked up.

The redhead's eyes widened dramatically. "You… you smiled! At long last, I saw him smile! Wow, this is a momentous occasion. We should get a plaque to remember it for ever."

Immediately, the smile disappeared, a scowl replacing it.

"Sunshine! Bring it back! You've got such a beautiful smile," Axel protested, almost blushing. "C'mon, c'mon! You know what? I'm going to make you laugh. I, Axel Jackson Aiden, swear on my honor—"

"What honor?"

"— to make you, Roxas, um, something, Selvoles, laugh. Better watch out, Sunshine. I'll get through to you, even if it's through sheer stubbornness, something I'm the best at.

Roxas hid a small half-smile behind his hand, one that widened slightly when Axel slapped it away.

I sighed happily— that particular year was one of the best years of my life. Maybe… maybe it wasn't so bad, being here. If this wasn't all just a dream, of course. I, for one, would gladly trade my cold, bleak iron cage for this gilded, golden one.

What was it Sax had said? 'No worries here: the past cannot hurt you.' He was right. There was no Ansem here, no concerns for the future, no worrying over whether I could make it through another month. This was my past, my few, happy memories. Memories that, I realized, were much, much happier than most of my real life was.

And, if I tried hard enough, I could make it seem as though I really was living it all over again—I could remember what to say and do, especially if I went through the same memory twice. It would be a piece of cake, to just live here. So what if I was seemingly trapped? It didn't matter. I was beginning to think, even if I could leave….

I wouldn't.

End Note: Ooh, the plot's developing! Isn't that nice, children? Oh, and you get to see a glimpse the younger, more like their game-selves, Axel and Roxas. I needed them to be older for this fic, which is why they're kinda… OOC. I mellowed them out a bit. Made them grow up, y'know? They're a good 3-4 years older.

Anyways, did anyone notice the symbolism I basically crammed in there in Sax's room? With the cups, and memories? It's like—drinking and eating are times of enjoyment, right? Something you do to have fun. Sax turned the memories into just that. AND, you need food and drink to survive, and, for Sax and Roxas to survive, they need the memories.

Anybody get it? Pweese? -looks around- Oh darn it.

Sorry again for the lateness! I'll do better next time- pwomise!