Faith just looked at Buffy, weighing her answer. She needed to be out of Sunnydale, like yesterday. Fighting with the part of herself screaming, Hell, yeah, let's go, Faith dropped her eyes. She wanted to take what they'd offered. The risk was too much. Mind awash with images of Kakistos and her first Watcher, Faith shuddered. No way was she going to be responsible for any more deaths. "B," she ground out, hating what she had to say.
"You know, for someone who was all with the pep a minute ago," Buffy crossed her arms, head tilted, "you're very non-peppy about the chance to kick some demon butt."
"B-" Faith broke off. "Damn, I'm sounding like a broken record." Her lips formed into a reluctant smile. "The ass kicking sounds like fun, but I need to clear out, remember?"
Buffy shook her head. "No. I don't remember anything like that. The only thing I remember is a rousing speech about killing the Hellhound and the promise of an all-night party to celebrate." Moving across the room, she grabbed Faith's hand. "So, let's get the work out of the way, 'cause I've got a really great dress for tonight."
"No." Faith pulled away. "I ain't staying, B. Every second I stay gives the Mayor a chance to find me." Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she glared at Buffy. Why didn't they understand? Her staying put them all in greater danger.
Her response put a stubborn look on Buffy's face. Lips pressed tightly together, the blonde Slayer faced her, hands on hips. "And your point would be?"
"That is my point!" Faith shouted. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You got a death wish or something?" She took a step forward, hands coming out to reach for Buffy.
The older girl didn't wait to be grabbed. She stepped closer, evading the hands by pressing into Faith. "No. No death wish," Buffy said softly, looking up at Faith. "I'm a Slayer, though. Danger is part of the job." She smiled slightly. "Be honest. The Mayor's been after my head from the beginning. How is this any different?" Buffy stepped away, taking Faith's hand again.
It was time to give up. Mentally waving a white flag, Faith let herself be tugged to the door. "OK, B, but if the Mayor tries to run us down on Main Street, I'm gonna say I told you so."
"Got it." Buffy dropped Faith's hand and slid into her coat. "Hmmm, I'll have to think of something for when the Mayor ignores us in favor of prepping for his Ascension." She skipped out the door, calling back. "I wonder if we could find a dress this late?"
Faith followed her out into the sunlight. "Nah. Don't bother, B. I did the whole dress up thing that time at Homecoming, and you stood me up." Faith briefly considered running out into traffic. "You know, for our stud hunting," she tacked on, teeth bared in a patently fake smile.
"Oh. Stud hunting." Buffy rolled her eyes. Did Faith think she was stupid? "Well, what about a tux, then?" she teased, watching surreptitiously for a reaction. "You'd look pretty studly in black tie." Unfortunately, the image that statement created in her mind completely distracted her, and she missed the quickly hidden wistfulness in Faith's eyes.
Instead, her first hint of a response was a warm chuckle and a smirk. "B, just a little 411. This body," Faith ran lazy hands over her form, "ain't never gonna look boyish, no matter what I'm wearing. Besides, I'm not big on formal wear."
"Guess you'll have to go back to the leather, then." Buffy scanned the streets, senses on alert. "I don't feel any vamps or demons. You?"
Faith shook her head. "Nothing." She continued walking, hands in her pockets. "Where're we headed anyway?"
"For those of us not paying attention when assignments were handed out," Buffy grumbled with a smile, "the butcher shop." The smile widened when Faith made a yuck face. "Hey, it's a great place to pick up cute guys…as long as a pulse isn't high on your list of requirements." The smile faltered. She and Angel "accidentally" met there several times in the past.
Faith saw the frown and moved in closer. "Thought you and Red did your shopping at the Bronze?" She flattened a hand over her stomach, where sudden nausea and anxiety swirled. Ignoring the discomfort, she remained focused on Buffy and the slight droop to her shoulders. "Don't they have a VIP table with your name on it or something?"
Buffy poked Faith in the side as they stepped through the open loading dock doors into the back of the butcher shop. "Here we go. Back to work." She peered at the handful of men in hardhats and badly stained white coats and aprons. Finally recognizing one of the employees, she strode across the room with Faith trailing behind. "Hey, Mr. Tamco."
"Buffy." He smiled under his mustache. "You here for some more blood? We've got a good supply this time."
Buffy shook her head, smiling uncomfortably. "Not today. Actually, I'm looking for information on one of your customers. Tucker Wells?"
Her supplier pushed his hat back with the clipboard clutched in his hands. "That kid. Yeah, orders cow brains a couple of times a week." Pulling a pen from an inside pocket, he scribbled on a piece of paper before ripping it off the clipboard and thrusting at Buffy. "The shipment goes to this address here. Good luck," he grunted out. "This is a weird kid." With a friendly nod, he wandered off.
"Looks like we've got a clue," Buffy told Faith. "This isn't the address Will got from the school, though."
Rocking on her heels, Faith shrugged then stiffened. There was a vamp nearby.
Buffy, however, appeared unaware. She walked back toward the dock entrance, examining the information the butcher had given her.
Faith kept an eye on her, trying to pinpoint the danger. Breath hissed from her teeth. Angel, in all his broody glory, was buying a fresh blood supply from another employee. Heart rate increasing, Faith knew she had to keep the former couple apart. Trotting up to Buffy, she wrapped an arm around the narrow shoulders and swung them around.
"Faith!" Buffy protested, stumbling a little. "What are you doing? We need to meet up with the gang and go after Tucker."
"Duh, B," Faith snapped, on edge and not quite sure why it was so important that Buffy not see Angel. "But do we gotta walk down freakin Main Street? You want my help, then we use the back streets. I'd like to still be alive this time tomorrow."
A slow blush crawled up Buffy's face. "Damn. I'm sorry, Faith." Hazel eyes peered up through long lashes. "I forgot." She placed an arm around her companion's waist, and hugged her awkwardly.
The contact felt good. Too good. Faith fought off the compulsion to return the one-armed squeeze and stepped away. "Whatever. Let's get this show on the road. I'd like time for a shower and some food before making tracks tonight." The words burned her throat and left a bitter taste.
Buffy reacted badly to her comment. Her lips pressed together in a thin line for a second. When she finally spoke, her voice was tight, almost angry. "I don't want to hear it, Faith. No more."
"Why not?" Faith said, responding in kind. "Did you really think that I was going to apply for a new Scooby Membership Card?" She shoved her hands into her pockets. "Oh, wait, that's right. I never had one." Bitterness flowed from the words. "I'm not cut out for life in Sunnydale, B. I'm glad we're OK again." I just want so much more.. Her hands reappeared to rub over her face. "It's just…staying isn't an option."
They walked in charged silence for a while, eating up ground through the labyrinth of alleys in the downtown area, until Buffy sighed. "We're doing it again," she announced out of the blue.
Reeling from the emotional ups and downs of the last two days, Faith snapped. "We're not doing anything, B. Just like always." Frustration edged the words.
"Um," Buffy peered wide-eyed at Faith. "Why do I get the feeling we're not on the same page?"
"Fuck, B, get a clue. We don't even speak the same language." Faith dropped her head, hair cascading forward to hide her expression. Exhaustion dragged at her limbs. How many times did she have to go through this? Buffy would never see her as more than a fellow Slayer. A friend, maybe. Never more. Her eyes burned and her throat closed. Defiantly, Faith cleared away the blockage and flicked her hair over her shoulder.
Buffy bit back a scream. Damn it. They took one step forward and then a dozen back. Without the empathy, she was lost, confused by Faith's ability to hide behind the attitude. She knew Faith loved her. Well, OK, wanted her. It had flooded through her that night in the Mansion. "Faith-"
"Leave it, B." The refusal was curt.
She'd hurt Faith. Buffy knew it. The knowledge tightened her muscles, and made her heart pound. "I'm sorry," she tried, hazel eyes watching for some sign she hadn't destroyed the budding friendship.
Faith's hands went back in her pockets. "No worries, B. We're good." A wry smile flitted across her lips. She wanted so much more than good. "I think I should drop you at the library and go ahead."
Buffy shook her head rapidly, panic setting in. "No." With cold certainty, she knew that if Faith left, she was never coming back.
"Buffy, stop." The words were forceful, yet soft. Brown eyes pleaded with her. "Whatever's going on in your head, it's gotta stop. I can't…" Faith's voice faltered then picked back up. "I can't stay."
The look in Faith's eyes was like a punch to the stomach. Buffy sucked in a deep breath against the pain. "Maybe you could just, I don't know, leave for a couple of days? Come back after the Ascension?" She hated the way her voice shifted into a near whine at the end.
Faith took her hand. "B, I said I'd come back. I meant that, but give me some time, OK?"
Tears spilled from Buffy's eyes. This couldn't be happening. First Angel, and now Faith. Maybe the Council was right about Slayer's not having lives or friends. "Sure, Faith. I…" She pulled away, wiping angrily at the tears.
"Fuck!" The angry shout startled her, and Buffy turned back. "Listen, B." Warm hands cupped her cheeks, forcing her to meet intense brown eyes swimming in tears. "I'm sorry. I wanna stay." The rough voice broke. "But I can't, for so many reasons."
Sliding her hands up to rest on Faith's, Buffy closed her eyes. "Go." It was the merest of whispers. She remained frozen as the palms slowly released her face and running footsteps faded in the distance. "Goodbye, Faith." Buffy forced her eyes open, determinedly not looking after the other Slayer.
By the time she reached the Sunnydale High School library, Buffy had her emotions locked away. Granted, that meant she felt a little disconnected, but it was better than the constant crying and cursing. She burst into the dim library, not even slowing at the row of glum faces watching her progress.
"Those aren't happy faces." Willow. Oz, and Xander huddled together on the stairs leading to the stacks.
Xander lifted his head. "Zeros all around, Buff."
"Sorry," Willow squeaked out, too.
Pushing aside the emptiness, hiding her own pain, Buffy flashed a smile. "Make not with the long faces." She held up the note from the butcher. "I've got an address for Tucker and his dog."
Smiles broke out all around – until Willow noticed someone missing. "Hey, Buff, where's Faith?"
Buffy looked away, blinking to keep the tears at bay. "Gone. She really wanted to go before the Mayor figured out she was still in town." She wandered over to one of the tables normally used for research and hopped up to sit on its uncluttered surface. "Look. The Prom starts in a little while. I want you guys to go on. I'll go take care of this little problem, and I'll meet you there."
"What?" Xander looked at Oz and Willow. "We can't just leave you, Buffster." Two nods agreed with his statement.
Giles finally joined in from his position against the checkout desk. "Buffy, I have to agree. You need-"
"To see happy Prom-goers on their way." She waved her hands at her friends. "Look, guys. I've got this one under control."
Oz shifted against Willow. "Buffy, it makes sense to-"
"…have a nice time." She was almost sorry to step on one of his rare attempts at multi-word response.
A small smile tugged her lips when all three of the Scoobies surged to their feet at the same time.
"Oookay, then." Xander was alarmingly enthusiastic about his date with Anya.
Willow and Oz held hands as they hurried out the door.
Swallowing the surge of bitterness that tried to break free, Buffy turned to Giles. "I want you at the gym." She met her Watcher's worried eyes. "Keep an eye on them until I get there." Jumping from the table, Buffy entered the book cage and opened the weapons locker.
Giles, however, wasn't finished. His quiet voice followed her. "I don't have to tell you you're being rather rash."
"No, but it sounds like you're going to do it anyway." Buffy yanked a couple of daggers, a crossbow, and a quiver of bolts out before stuffing them into a duffel bag.
"Finding an address hardly leads to case closed." When she turned, Giles stood just outside the cage, an earpiece of his glasses caught between his teeth.
He met her eyes, and Buffy almost crumbled. Two steps, that's all it would take. She knew, despite whatever embarrassment he might feel, he'd let her cry out her misery on his wool vest. One step. She pulled up short. No. It was time to move on. Do her job and get back on track. "Let it go, Giles. You want to go after them? Tell them they can't go?" She smiled tiredly. "They've given up everything for the last three years to help me save the world or whatever. Let them have this one night."
Buffy stepped out of the cage, closing it softly.
"Angel's not taking you tonight, is he?" Giles laid a hand on her shoulder.
Hooking the duffel's strap over her shoulder, Buffy raised her eyes. "I told Angel to leave town…after the Mayor, of course." Giles' eyes widened. "Don't, please," Buffy begged, voice strained. "It had to be done." A single tear leaked out. "Besides, I'm not really sure that's the worst thing that happened today."
"Buffy," the cultured voice faltered. "I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say."
"Then don't, Giles." Buffy lips trembled. "Just let me get through tonight. I'm sure things will look less doomy and gloomy in the morning."
He pulled her into a tentative hug. "Don't these sorts of things require ice cream or something?" He tried to lighten the mood. It worked, for a second.
Returning the awkward embrace and smiling slightly, Buffy tilted her head to look at Giles. "Ice cream and its good friend chocolate will come. I just want to take care of Psycho Boy and his pet, first."
"Are you sure?" Giles pressed as Buffy pulled away.
"Yeah." She nodded firmly. "The great thing about being a Slayer – kicking ass is comfort food."