Bobby describes his latest cases to his mother and in the process complains about the LOCI writers but just a little 'cause the season finale was much better than I feared it might be.

Au note: PDR (physician's desk reference) - that large, unwieldy reference book that doctors use to look up drugs and their side-effects.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: stopthenoisesinmyhead@carmelridge.com

From: bobbygoren@mcs.com

Dear Mom,

That veterinarian was really obsessed

With believing women thought him the best

Like any well bred New Yorker

Repulsed by that porker

Eames didn't wanna see him undressed!

When the guy showed his skin

I could sense Eames' chagrin -

I'll start a training regime

So not to lose her esteem

If she and I ever go for a swim.

When a man leaves his wife

To begin a new life

I should not be so quick

Just because he's a prick

To think he's the one wielding the knife!

I must learn to contain

The rage in my brain

My fists wreak disaster

When I knock loose the plaster

The painters are startin' to complain.

I would never have conceived

What Eames thought I believed -

I know she'd never leak

My secrets to Deak

How could my feelings be so misperceived?

I have but one goal

When I flirt and cajole

I want perps to admit

To the crimes they commit

And it just didn't work on Nicole.

Nicole interrupted my meal

Destroyed my liking for veal

Baby beef makes me tear

But I still love cold beer

And pickles haven't lost their appeal.

Did she think I'd be shattered

When she revealed things that mattered?

Despite her impression

She's NOT my obsession

I can't believe that she thought I'd be flattered!

Nicole? She's a slag!

Her deeds make me gag

I found from our previous

Encounter she's devious

But I'm better - though I don't like to brag.

She left me confounded

My self confidence grounded

Much to my chagrin

She got under my skin

Not impressed so much as astounded!

Now Dad's dead and buried

Why haven't I married?

When the shit hits the fan

I don't know if I can

Avoid the emotional baggage he carried.

But Nicole wasn't right

'Bout what REALLY gives fright

It's not Dad but YOU, Mom

I fear I'll become

If I go lookin' for marital delight.

Mom, you know that of course

I recall the divorce

And though I've since grown ashamed

It was YOU that I blamed

When Dad's problems were obviously its source.

I've only ever had

One mom and one dad

And though I prayed and I schemed

You were NOT what I dreamed

But all-in-all, neither were you so bad.

Truth and justice should win

Over people who sin

So how does Nicole

Always make the dice roll

So some poor innocent is taken in?

Now she's blown her chance

At a long term romance

Will Nicole get upset

And maybe regret

That she didn't forgo our last dance?

I think it's conclusive

Nicole's dad was abusive

There's no way to blunt it

She HAS to confront it

Or peace of mind will forever be elusive.

I think my colleagues agree

With the truths that I see -

Nicole doesn't pick at my scabs

Out of lust for my abs -

But to delight in emotional debris.

My co-workers call me possessive

Because my screen time's excessive

I don't mind being smart

With an I.Q. off the chart

But too much angst and things will just get oppressive!

And could the writers endeavor? -

Since Eames and Deak are quite clever

To just once let HER shine

Give Jimmy good lines

And give Carver some .um, well whatever!

Why not let you move home?

You'll be fine left alone

There's comfort attends

Just being with your friends

Your mental illness has been SO overblown.

It's going too far

To have my own PDR

If some drug I forget

I can look on the 'Net

I'm gonna trade that tome in on a car.

I'm hoping next season

The writers listen to reason

And off camera we'll speak

No more than ONCE every week

I'm really getting' tired of the teasin'.

Though the writers were tough

They let me sport scruff -

With the money I save

By not having to shave

Unlike Carver I own lots of cool stuff!