Um, random oneshot? Yeh, it's a bit sad but whatever, I like it. Especially the end!
Warning/Disclaimer: I don't own. Sad huh? Oh well. There ish some serious spoilage for the EX series, as well as...hinting rape and sadism. And lots of swearing. Hmm, not the only fic I have with that is there? No, no indeed not (nods to self) Enjoy!!
Revenge
Shuichi sat up suddenly from the tangled sheets of his bed. His breathing came in short heavy bursts and he felt beads of sweat fall slowly down his face. He'd dreamed again of the time Ryuichi had kissed him. He'd dreamed again of the look on Yuki's face. He smiled.
"Yuki. You bastard. I hope you get what you deserve." he closed his eyes again as Ryuichi-san's words wove through his head"That guy does whatever he wants...he thinks you'll always belong to him" Shuichi snorted contemptuously as he got up to get ready for work "Look at what he does...knocking out your teeth...hurting you without even thinking" Shuichi turned on the shower "He's just taking advantage of you...he thinks you'll always belong to him...belong to him..." He shed his night clothes shakily from his frame "Can you still love him? When all you ever say to him is 'I'm sorry'?" he stepped gingerly into the warm spray "But he's wrong. He doesn't realize it yet, but you're stronger than that..."
"Oh Yeh?" Shuichi choked and he pressed his face in to the warmness, feeling hot tears join the stream of water to wash down the drain. "It's okay, you don't have to try so hard..."
"Oh Yeh?"
- - - - - - - - -
It had been just after Yuki was regaining his sight from the accident. Kitazawa had come to Japan, and, having taken one look at the cozy picture Riku made with "Shu-chan" and "Yuki-chan" she turned right back around and flew back to America. Yuki had been very upset and ranted constantly about the "little brat" under foot. Shuichi had simply held Riku in his lap and watched as Yuki stumbled and paced through the living room.
"Yuki...Yuki honey, maybe you should sit down before you get hurt." and Yuki had sighed and felt his way to the couch. He sat and stared sullenly in the general direction the large window.
"I'm tired, Shuichi. I'm just sick and tired of everyone taking advantage of me," he turned a little "of us."
"Yuki..." a warm tingle ran around his stomach. "I know. But it's not Riku's fault..."
"Yes, but I can still be angry can't I? Must that be taken away too?" Yuki Emo-ed out for a little. Shuichi knew it best to leave him to his thoughts when he got like this.
"Well, I'll just put Riku to bed." Shuichi flung the little boy over his shoulder, which made him giggle, and carried him out. After two pillow wars, three songs, and one and a half stories the little monster finally lost consciousness.
"Thank god, I'm so tired…" he plopped next to his lover on the sofa. Yuki sighed a little. "Ah, so he's asleep…" the smaller man shook his counterpart's shoulder. "Oi, Yuki. You'll be very unhappy if you wake up with a bad back from sleeping here. C'mon, it's only a few steps-!" he stopped as Yuki slid down, head landing in his lap. 'Wow.'
"Mmm, are you really tired then?" Yuki's voice coming from his crotch was the next surprise.
"Ah! Yuki, I thought you were dead!"
"Just answer, Shuichi." something in his voice was different. He had eluded to sex many a time but this tone was...not the same.
"Actually, I am pretty sleepy but...uh, Yuki wha-"
"Don't talk."
"Ah, but-" a hand covered his mouth.
"You really wanna wake him up?"
- - - - - - - - -
Shuichi shook himself, dressing quickly in black slacks and a rather non-descript red, long sleeved button up. Throwing a black coat over the outfit he hurried to meet K-san. Who knows what would happen if he was late again to work. Lately he hadn't cared so much, too busy trying not to hate himself and all those around him. His car was waiting outside, the driver filing her nails.
"You alright sir?" she asked, turning wide grey eyes on him. He nodded, clambering into the back. "You wanna' stop and get some coffee first? No offense, but you look-"
"Could you please just take me to work?" Shuichi cut her off, running a hand through his unkempt hair.
"You got it boss." she replied, less perky than before but still smiling. She stopped at a coffee place anyway, ordering him a huge double shot mochachino. He accepted gratefully, thanking her profusely and trying to apologize for his earlier comments. She took it all in stride, saying next time he could buy her some coffee.
"That'd be awesome!" his mood lifted he didn't feel so sure about the song he would be recording today. It was considerably darker than his usual techno/disco shit (AN: I have the soundtrack, I'm not really hatin'). But it felt like he was evolving into something more…more. There was a different kind of meaning to his music now.
"Here we are. When do you want me back to pick you up?"
"I'd say I'll be in there till I can't talk anymore so…around five-ish."
"Alrighteh! Good luck Shu-san." And with a wink she drove away.
- - - - - - - - -
"Shuichi, I realize this has been a hard time for you but we need to get this recorded." Hiro leaned into him. Shuichi leaned back, resting his head on the shoulder provided.
"I know. I got this. This time I can do it. Alright, lets try this again." he stood and flicked an invisible piece of dust from his pants. He once more stepped into the booth and closed his eyes. The beat started up slow and pulsing before Hiro added some screaming cords. Shuichi bounced his head before finding his place. As he opened his mouth tears filled his eyes but this time they added a kind of volume to his voice, rather than choking it off as they had the three tries previous.
Driving through the rain
My soul showering in pain
What have you done?
You had me thinking you were the one
You're the poison in my heart
I'll take it back to the start
My brain screaming at me
What the fuck were you thinking
I feel it deep down
Hell you always wore a frown
What the fuck didn't I get this time!?
I cry
You smile
My throat is torn
Our child born
Abandoned cause you just
Don't
Know (Screaming)!!!!!!
I'll take it back to the start
My brain screaming at me
What the fuck were you thinking
I feel it deep down
Hell you always wore a frown
What the fuck didn't I get this time!?
Wouldn't you like to see
How much your baby, baby
Has grown to look like you?
(Crashing guitar solo)
I'll take it back to the start
My brain screaming at me
What the fuck were you thinking
I feel it deep down (echo) deep down
Hell you always wore a frown
A fuckin frown (spoken)
What the fuck didn't I get this time!?
What was you wanted to say (spoken)
I didn't (whispered)
I couldn't (whispered)
And you left us all a...
Aaaaalooooone...
Shuichi's voice broke. He sat down, wiping tears off his cheeks and smearing the liner.
"That was...amazing." K, never one to hand out compliments, handed him a towel. Shu draped it over his head, hiding his sorrows behind it's fluffiness.
- - - - - - - - -
"Mmmng." Shuichi bit his lip against the pain. Yuki continued biting his thighs. Something was very wrong with this picture.
"Ugh-! Yu...ki...hiiiiiiii-mmmmm!"
"Shut the fuck up. Your voice is hurting my ears."
"Uh...ahhhhn...Yu-ki...why?"
"...I don't know. Now stop struggling."
"Nnngh-AAAH!"
- - - - - - - - -
"...uichi? Shuichi!"
"Sorry, what?" he flipped the towel off, focusing on his best friends. Why were there two Hiro's? Oh. The tears. He quickly wiped them away and grabbed the proffered hand.
"That was really something. I think...it may have been the greatest thing you've ever done."
"Hn. Artist do suffer for their work."
"Riku!" Shuichi hugged his now fifteen year old boy. "When'd you get here?"
"I guess about the middle of the song." he smiled, hugging his father back. "It was really good. A perfect hit for sure! Though it'll draw a different kind of crowd to your stages."
"Che, got that right!" "Here here!!" the other two band members cheered, grinning at Shuichi. He felt awful for feeling so...well...awful about the song. It was an embodiment of his pain. One of them. Sometimes he wrote notebooks full of revised versions of these angry songs. Only Riku read them, hiding some of the more violent ones along with the razor blades and weed his father used to drown a little bit, to hide.
"Thanks guys. But really music isn't shit without the instruments."
"Damn right is ain't!" Hiro threw an arm around Shu and Riku "I think this calls for a family celebration. Band members and Riku only!! I'm sure K'd love to go home early to see his little boy."
"Oi, I'm older than Riku is!" K's son yelled from behind his father.
"Only by, like, eight months."
"So!?" the two boys glared good-naturedly. It was an old argument.
"C'mon, . Your mama made pork chops and white sauce. Whatever that is."
- - - - - - - - -
"To Shuichi, amazing vocalist, best friend a dude could have!"
"Cheers!" the other two chorused, clinking glasses.
"Dad, could you help me when we get home?" Riku set his glass down.
"Sure sweety. Whacha need?"
"I'm trying to write a song."
- - - - - - - - -
"And so we go on to popstar-gone-metal, Shindou Shuichi." Shuichi glanced up from his magazine at the TV. The lady smiled her fake smile and a huge picture of himself floated onto the screen. He glanced at the door, willing Riku to come home and distract him from it. But of course, school wouldn't let out for another two hours. He turned up the volume, unable to change the channel.
"Damn my curiosity."
"-the falling out with popular novelist, Eiri Yuki. No-one really knows what happened. According to some, Eiri needed to get away from the smothering affection, others believe he had a religious epiphany, while still others believed there may have been abuse in the Eiri-Shindou household."
- - - - - - - - -
Shuichi stared at the cold blade, willing himself to make the cut. The last one ever. He couldn't. No, he had too much to live for. Riku-
Riku will be alright. He'll understand. He's a smart boy. He has Hiro to look after him. He'll be alright. But you won't. You can't keep living like this. You need to stop the pain. You need to stop loving him.
"I know...fuck do I know..." he swiped at the tears, careful not to cut his face. "I know."
- - - - - - - - -
"Hey dad? Could you help me with this-Dad!?" Riku ran forward, slipping in the growing puddle in his hurry. "Dad!! Dad!? Daddy!!! DAD!!"
- - - - - - - - -
It was cool that spring. Shuichi's death made the front page in several papers. Mourning fans could be heard declaring their internal suffering throughout the streets. It pissed Riku off. There was no real reason for these people to be in pain, no real reason for them to cry and stare at the pictures of Shuichi in every magazine that ever published an article about him. They had no right to express the kind of pain he was feeling so thoroughly. He wiped his eyes harshly with the back of a hand once again and pressed on. It would get warmer soon and the walk was a long one. He could have taken the train, he could have done a lot of things as the sole heir to Shuichi's fortune and legacy but he chose to walk. Maybe if he cleared his head a little his intentions would change once he reached his destination. Maybe he could calm down and think a little on what he planned to do. On why Shuichi had died, on how he had suffered, on the pain that was being caused because of-
"Stop." he hissed to himself and wiped his eyes again. His cap slid a little and he quickly jammed it back on his head. It wouldn't do for a swarm of well-wishers and fangirls/boys to converge on him in this state. He might do something irrational. Not that his current plans were anything but...
- - - - - - - - -
The old fashioned shrine was dark and a bit musty. Yuki sat up from his seat on the floor, staring at the television. Shuichi...dead!?!
"No." he said quietly. Firmly. Like if he said it with enough confidence Death would realize he had made a mistake and Shuichi would come back. It was his fault. He did not doubt it and as he watched the images of that pink haired baka flick across the screen his tears followed them. He made no move to stop them and no expression touched his face.
"There's no helping it." he murmured. He got up, contemplating how best to end his now meaningless life. Even after his exile from the life of Shuichi, after his total alienation of the people he knew, after what he had done...he never stopped watching him. After all the mistakes he blamed himself over and over for he never stopped loving him. Now it was pointless, his reason for living, for eating and dreaming, was gone. A small sound from the doorway made him turn. Yuki lifted a hand to his eyes and blinked at the small frame standing just beyond his sight. The figure moved a little closer and Yuki smiled as it dawned on him who it was, what was happening.
"This is my revenge." Riku whispered as he pulled the trigger.
,,,Owari
Eheh, what can I say? Other than don't stone me. Some ppl may be angry with me for killing them but...oh well? The worst you can do is flame me and I can totally ignore you sound like fun? It's a bit choppy but I did that on purpose, let the mind draw it's own conclusions, make it's own links. Or that's my excuse anyway! I didn't go into a lot of detail with the rape. I dunno why really, I just didn't feel like it. But seriously, what do you guys think? Reviews pleases!!