This Puzzle of Mine
Chapter 19 – I Don't Care
As Derek walked just behind the crowd of people escorting Zadie, he heard the familiar clicking behind him and he instantly recognized Addison trying to keep up his pace.
"I'm sorry…" she said without any response from her husband who just continued to walk straight on, ignoring her presence. "You obviously didn't know…" Addison tried again, but nothing and she took a firm grip around his arm. "I'm talking to you… Derek?"
"What!?" he glared at her as she forced him to turn around. Talking to Zadie he had almost forgotten about Addison, had it not been for the angry gaze she had held upon him. The said gaze was still there now, not as angry though, more apologetic. Even so, he didn't care "What is it Addison?!"
"I said I was sorry…" she looked at him who just pulled a hand through the brown curls. "Derek?"
"I stayed with you, I chose you... I could just as easily have signed those papers, but I didn't." Derek said as his wife looked down. "Did you really think that I would hide something like this from you? Is that what I get? The last time I checked, I wasn't the one who slept with your best friend…"
"Derek, that was years ago, and I've told you: I didn't mean anything…"
"It didn't?"
Addison shook her head. "No, of course it didn't…" she said ad hugged him.
Derek didn't respond the hug; he just had his arms along his sides. "Then how come you lived with him, for two months after I moved here...?"
He could feel Addison loosening her arms from around him and when she met his face she had a look of terrify upon hers.
"Ehm, I didn't… I don't know what… I…" she stuttered.
"Did you really think I didn't know?" Derek said, anger evolving in his face. "You just told me it didn't mean anything, which obviously is a lie because you two weren't just roommates. So I think hardly you should be the one doubting me…"
"Derek, I'm sorry…" Addison begged. "I…"
"You can't imagine the guilt I felt towards you for meeting Meredith and for falling in love with her." Derek swallowed back a few tears, feeling his lower lip tremble. "When you came here, I gave everything to save our marriage, and then to have it all gone in the blink of an eye; when a stranger knocks on the door asking for Dr Sloan… in my house…"
Addison rubbed her face, wiping away a few tears that had run down her cheeks. "What?"
"14 years ago; when I was in New York to sell the brownstone, this, I think it was a delivery guy, knocked on the door," Derek gave out a laugh. "and he asked for Dr Sloan, the guy who lived there. I said: there is no Dr Sloan in this house, it never will. He insisted on the fact that Mark lived there." Derek paused. "He said he had delivered stuff there before, and he had even talked to Mrs Sloan; a nice woman with red hair and blue eyes. I told him that was my wife, and he still didn't give up, until I showed a picture of you in my wallet and he apologized. All of that I kind of didn't care much about until I found clothes that weren't mine in the back of a drawer, and of course a foreign toothbrush in the bathroom. Then it kind of fell together… You really just left everything and kicked him out? I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard…"
"He slept with someone else…" Addison said in a robotic voice and stared point blank. "Maybe you should know…"
"I don't want to know that." Derek cut her off shaking his head. "I don't need to…"
"… that…" Addison finished her sentence and looked at Derek with tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to… You don't know how sorry I am…"
"It doesn't matter… It doesn't matter if he slept with someone else, or if you're sorry. It doesn't matter, because I don't care…" Derek pulled away Addison's hand that had taken a grip around his wrist. "I've held out for 14 years, if you count from the first time you slept with Mark, 16 years. I don't know how long I can-"
"No! Derek, please don't…" Addison almost shouted, but stopped herself as she suddenly noticed the people around had all stopped whatever they were doing and shere all curiously engaged in her words, and Derek's.
Derek nodded carefully and took a step back for his wife whose eyes widened. "I don't care…"
"Derek!"
"I don't care, because I suddenly have more important stuff on my hands, than saving an already failed marriage…"
"Derek, you don't want this…" Addison said, shaking her head. "If you walk away… If you do that, you don't know…"
"I'm pretty much aware of what will happen, Addison…" Derek turned around and with heavy steps he walked towards the corner which his daughter had already rounded. All of a sudden he felt a little bit happier, probably because of that young girl that had come to find him… A rush of relief spread though his body as he rounded that corner, leaving his wife behind.
Addison looked at the white back disappearing around the corner and felt a tear roll down her cheek. She looked at the people around her which all started to seem uncomfortable just because she returned their looks.
"What!" Addison shouted. "Go do something useful for once in your lives!"
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"Miserable?" Mark repeated the word the young girl in front of him just had said. "Miserable? Are you sure..?"
Skye rolled her eyed and flipped back her red hair. "No offence Dr Sloan, but I know her and I know you think you know her better than you do, so trust me..."
Mark narrowed his eyes on Skye who raised her eyebrows. It felt strange for him to hear someone put the word miserable in the same sentence as Zadie, cause to Mark she was just the opposite of so. Always with a smile curled up on her lips, a tone of voice that was... okay not always matching it's source, but yet never miserable. "Is it because of not having..?"
"Probably..." Skye nodded. She couldn't really put herself in Zadie's situation because she had a dad. A dad that wasn't gone; wasn't away. Her father was always home. In his choice of profession as an artist she could always find him up in the attic-studio or in one of the nearby parks painting. Skye felt she couldn't even put herself in the same situation as her other friends whose parents had normal jobs. Take Matt for example: his father was a lawyer and his mother was a teacher. They had okay working schedules, but if they had okay schedules, did her father, and her mother; who was as much of an artist as her father have like super-awsome-time-for-kids-non-time-consuming-schadules? Then, what did Zadie have? First of all no dad to either have time or have no time. But of course she had a mother, who worked with a schedule that Skye thought only the Devil would have put together.
So, she couldn't in the world put herself in Zadie's situation, but she could see, and most important of all listen when it was needed. Zadie wasn't one of them dark teenagers that just thought the world was crap. Sometimes maybe, she did, they all did. But she didn't complain, but when she did, Skye was sure to listen carefully. And the out come of it all; the few times was, miserable. Not always; not on the outside, just sometimes; on the inside.
"Miserable?" Mark said for the fourth time.
"I'm telling you..." Skye sighed. "But she would never ever admit it, if you'd ask her if she felt miserable she'd laugh you in the face saying: seriously?"
"Yeah, I know… She's a handful, isn't she sometimes?" Mark smiled and shook his head. "A positive handful I mean, happy and helpful…
"I couldn't ask for a better friend really…" Skye smiled. "Where is she by the way? It was like two hours since I went down here? She said she would try to find her dad, and that she'd call me if she found him… Do you know where she is?"
Mark shook his head. "No, not a clue… Meredith's gone too… They're probably up there, but you know I don't want to interrupt them, I'm done interrupting for the day…"
"Ehm, excuse me…" someone coughed and both Mark and Skye looked up.
"Dr O'Malley!" Skye exclaimed and smiled as George nodded. "Nice to see you again," she paused and studied the peculiar shade in his face. "And judging by the look in your face you know about the whole thing…"
"Yes, I do…" he smiled awkwardly and turned to Mark who with pursed mouth looked oddly at George. "Eh, and I assume you are Dr Sloan…"
Mark nodded. "I am…" he held forward a hand which George hesitatingly took. "You must be George O'Malley."
"I, Ehm…" George paused looking suspiciously, yet surprised at Mark. "You, you know who I am?"
"Absolutely." Mark nodded. "Meredith has told me a lot about you."
"I don't know anything about you…" he whispered to himself, looking down on the ground. "Ehm," he stopped as both Mark and Skye looked oddly at him. "Well, anyways… They're all up in the Surgical Area… Zadie, and… eh, Meredith…" he shook his head. "I think you should come…"
"Oh, she's not sitting in a window, threatening to you know, say: jump?"
This time George and Mark looked at the red-headed girl standing beside them with wide eyes. "Seriously?" they both exclaimed.
"Seriously?" George turned to Mark. "You say seriously?"
"Whatever…" Skye muttered.
"Yeah, Meredith must have rubbed off on me…" Mark looked at George from the corner of his eyes as they made their way through the quart yard filled with table and chairs. "… syph-boy…" he coughed.
George suddenly stopped, and slowly turned his head, slowly. "What?"
Mark rolled his eyes. "Take it easy, man… She hasn't said anything worse… not like it could get any… worse…" he said and gave George's back thump with his hand as they continued to walk. "So is it some kind of emergency, O'Malley because you are walking pretty fast and I am not as young as I used to be…"
"It's nothing just that Zadie fell down the stairs and hit her head…" George casually explained.
"She didn't seriously do that?" Skye said on the verge exploding into laughter, but stopped as Mark and George looked. "What? Isn't it kind of fun? I'm mean I bet she tripped taking the last step down or something, probably on her untied shoe laces… What!?"
"It could be serious…" George explained as they reached the elevator and he pushed the button. "I mean, they're doing an MRI soon. Her brain can be injured in all sorts of ways, and you do not want to know the consequences of a fall like th-"
"I think she get it now…" Mark nodded towards Skye, who looked with wide eyes at the shorter doctor who exhaled in relief.
"Thanks…" George said leaning towards Mark, whispering: "I don't know how much longer I could have kept on rambling about brain-stuff… It's not really my thing…"
"Well, don't worry… My pleasure…" Mark looked at the steel doors which slid apart and they all stepped out of the elevator that had taken them up to the surgical floor.
As they made their way through the halls, finally they came to one that in the end of it spotted a group of people he some recognized from out of his own memory and some that he had only been told of.
A dark, old, yet tall man stood among the crown of people. Richard Webber he knew and had met a long time ago. Beside him stood a woman also of colour, who looked around his own aged. She was short and judging by her appearance as well as manners talking to them all, he could figure out that was Dr Bailey; the Nazi. Meredith had told him about her. Even if she didn't sound so cuddly and fussy from what Meredith had said, he could hear a sense of warmth and care in her voice.
A blonde wave of long hair caught is attention and he instantly recognized Izzie from out of Meredith's words. She laughed and smiled and was all caught up in a conversation with Meredith, who had yet to spot him.
Among them was also Alex Karev who he had met several times in the field of Plastic Surgery as he was just that.
The first one to spot them was Derek, as he joined the group. He stared for a while at them, mostly at Mark as they moved closer and when they had made their way over to them; Derek turned to Meredith who looked awkwardly at Derek.
"I got side tracked…" he said blankly, then changing the tone of his voice in the blink of an eye. "Have you talked to the technician?"
"Ehm, no…" Meredith looked suspiciously at him. All of a sudden he was all nice and, well, yeah nice. It was a bit weird because not long ago he had been shouting at her and banging his fist into the wall. "I thought you would do that… But you didn't come, so I figured we'd wait… I mean you're the brain specialist…"
"Yeah, I guess…" Derek looked down. "Well, I'll go do that then… Ehm, I suppose someone should tell Zadie… Where is she by the way?"
"Ehm, in there…" Meredith pointed at a door with a sign reading 3659. "I think she's trying to put on the 'freaking thing called a dress'" Meredith said in a voice trying to sound like Zadie. "It's not much she decides for herself today…"
"I'll tell her, Meredith…" Skye smiled, as she swished past all the adults.
Left remained total silence, just awkward looks through the group of people.
"Well, I think I should get going…" Miranda started, looking towards Richard. "Don't you think..?"
"What?" Richard said, unknowing at first, but as Miranda started to shake and nod her head meaning for them to go, he soon got it. "Oh, oh, yeah… Right, Ehm, tell me later how it went…?" Richard said to Meredith as they disappeared around the corner.
"I think I'll go get a coffee or something… Just find me later, okay?" Alex said and Izzie nodded as he parted from them, leaving just Izzie, Meredith, Mark and Derek left.
"Is Zadie okay?" Mark asked, looking at Meredith.
"Okay, "I'll go prep then…" Derek said quickly and said and disappeared.
As he was out of sight, Mark smiled and Meredith rolled her eyes at the tall man who instantly stopped. "What?"
"That wasn't necessary…" Meredith said, looking at Mark with a reprimanding look.
"What? To ask how Zadie were?"
"Not in front of him at least." Meredith explained and moved towards the door which Derek had disappeared though. "I'll go talk to him…"
"Meredith… Ehm, are you going to leave me here… Alone?" Izzie asked, as Mark smiled at her.
"That's what I've heard I do best…" Meredith said, shrugging her shoulders.
"What?" Izzie looked oddly at her.
"I'll be back in a minute... Don't worry…" Meredith smiled. "It's not like he bites…"
Izzie pushed forward a fake smiled, looked at Mark from the corner of her eye. "Don't be so sure of that…." she whispered.
"Okay…" Mark said and looked at Izzie holding forward a hand, showing his charming smile. "I believe we haven't met. Mark Sloan. Nice to meet you Izzie."
Izzie took his hand. "I guess you're the one teaching Zadie how to say rock on and boob job…"
"That would be me…" Mark confessed.
"Yeah…" Izzie smiled at the genuine looked upon the man's face. "Thanks…"
"Thanks for what?"
"For being there for her…"
Mark nodded as he saw the sad look upon her face.