The Weasley Twins' Joke: The Musical

by The Parody King

Based on the hated short-story. Bill and his miss-spelled wife-to-be are getting ready for their wedding. But will Fred and George's biggest prank ruin everything? How far will it go? How many songs will make it dated? HBP Spoilors. Warning: May lower IQs

6. Act 2, Scene 1

ACT TWO:

SCENE ONE:

A night club scene appears, complete with a disco ball. With us seeing Dobby first; dressed in several 'rad' socks, and a gold chain over a dirty pillow case for cloths.

Dobby:

[Speaking

What you baby doin'? Around here, everybody say, miss, 'hey, baby'! Bay, bay, bay, bay!

The lights go bright, with loud music, as a huge crowd appears.

Fred:

[Singing

You know what wizards say, at the bachelor party?

All:

[Singing

Hey, baby!

George:

[Singing

Pure-bloods, death eaters, and the squib?

All:

Hey, baby!

Fred:

[Like many music lyrics, doesn't have a clue what it means

Stirring with a stack of fire'whiskey?

All:

Hey, baby!

George:

Layin' in a lap o' a half-giant?

All:

Hey, baby!

Fred and George:

We're in the club!

George:

[Rapping

You wanna know what we say, when the veela get drunk? Well, hey baby, that's what we're here for! Turn your opera glasses to zoom-in! You wanna know what we say, when the bride shows up uninvited? Well, hey baby, that was my plan! Zoom in your glasses, put your glasses on, use contacts, whatever your using, turn them to zoom in. Turn on your hearin' aid, put on a hearin' aid, put your sunglasses on, shoot some shots o' fire whiskey, do somethin' that rhymes with me. I'm runnin' out of stuff ta' say, I'm really not good at this rappin' thingie-yay. Oranges and apples, apples and oranges, I'm really running out of things to say, it's just a bunch of...

[Speaking

I'm stuck.

Dobby:

[Speaking; snapping his fingers, and wearing a pair of sunglasses

Let the master house elf help ya out, punk.

Everyone on the dance floor gives Dobby full attention. Some women, even one Veela, faint at the sight of Dobby's dirty dance moves, complete with his black tea cosy 'cap' worn backwards.

Dobby:

[Singing, rapping

Hey, baby, you probably want ta' know where ta' find Dobby! Dobby will be lurking down in the back of the dance floor, that's where Dobby be! Dobby ain't trippin' when he's apparatin', he's a jumpin' when he's dissaparatin, and Dobby's wackin' when he's crackin, and tappin' when he's snappin', and crashin' when he's snappin'! When Dobby see a bad witch, Dobby shout out 'Hey, what rhymes with witch!'. Dobby don't care about her boyfriend, cause Dobby don't care what he say. Nor does Dobby care what pure-blood say, nor master say, nor what other' house elves say. Dobby's in the potion room, brewin' a potion for the potions master.

All:

Hey, baby! Hey, baby! Hey, baby!