The Last Song
Part 3. The Sword Hidden Among Pinions
Chapter 14 - Merlin
I never did find Salazar. Not then, at least. So my whole outburst was pointless. It could even be said that in my moment of anger when I left Hogwarts was my fate sealed. All my future woes were a direct result of me leaving Ginny without so much as a goodbye.
I flew straight to the same clearing where I had seen him earlier with the Basilisk, hoping against all likelihood that he would come there. He had saved my life, and was driven away by a false accusation in my name. I waited for an hour before I gave up. He wasn't coming. And I lifted my broom to return. Then I remembered.
I had no place to go. I had cast aside my apprenticeship with Godric, and I regretted it. Godric was a good man, momentarily blinded by lies and wine. I should have done better. But I had been angry. I knew I could go back and apologize. In all likelihood, he would forgive me, and take me back. But my pride came in my way. I couldn't go back. I had to find Salazar.
It was a mockery of fate. Salazar's apprentice caused him to leave Hogwarts while Godric's left the Castle of his own accord. I knew Godric would take Lance as his own apprentice. A bond had been growing between the two, and I wasn't jealous of it. Not at all. Godric had never held much sway over my heart, even less so after the events earlier in the day. But Lance liked him a lot. He would be happy as Godric's apprentice. But I had to find Salazar.
It was then that I heard it. That noise. The roaring and gushing and unearthly jingling of bolts and wires. The TARDIS. The Doctor had returned.
Feeling an exhilarating sense of yearning, I looked around, searching for the exact spot where the time vehicle would land, and I saw it. As it began materializing, I ran.
I reached it. I threw the door open, and shouted, "Doctor!" and my soaring spirit sunk instantly. It was the old Doctor. "It's you," I said sadly.
"It is I," he concurred.
I sighed again. Still, I supposed, it wasn't that bad. Any Doctor is better than no Doctor. I said that, and he chuckled in amusement.
"Glad you think so highly of me," he said sardonically, and I told him to get over it. I would like him more in his future, if that's what he wanted. I think that was the wrong thing to say. He looked slightly wounded by that comment. He didn't say anything but was a bit distant to me since then.
While drinking hot chocolate… how I had missed it… we suddenly realized there was a bob of golden hair hidden behind the console table. We snuck around from both sides to catch the intruder, and I gasped.
"What are you doing here?" I asked in surprise. It was Anna. Lady Rowena's daughter.
"I was scared," she said tearfully. "I was scared when father was fighting Salazar. I ran. I got lost in the forest. Then I saw you, and I followed."
I shook my head, and allowed the Doctor to take care of her. I had vowed to stay away from her because of Ginny. I had vowed to stay away from any girl who seemed attracted to me because of Ginny.
Instead, I started a one-sided conversation with the TARDIS. It was like meeting an old friend. But then the TARDIS started moving. And once again, the Doctor didn't believe me that I had nothing to do with it. So I ignored him. I was still very angry.
Opening the door, I ventured outside. It was dark and cold, and I pulled my robe tightly around me. I wished I had my wand. It had dropped when I escaped from the Castle in such a hurry. I felt lost without it, not that I was particularly fond of magic. Not really. It was just a tool. Personally, I preferred technology. Or perhaps, I simply preferred the Doctor.
As Ginny wasn't with me, I decided I could travel with this Doctor for awhile. I needed to be away from the Castle for a while. Long enough for Ginny to finish her apprenticeship and join my side permanently.
We were at an old graveyard. It was not a place I wanted to be, and I walked aimlessly, until I felt another presence come closer. It was the Doctor.
"The girl is asleep. You could have been nicer."
I ignored that. "It is dark," I said. "Who knows what trouble is brewing around us as we stand here defenseless." As I spoke, I thought I saw a faint glimmer of light reflecting off something. I turned my head towards it and squinted my eyes.
"A sword!" the Doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "It is a sword, and it seems to be stuck on the ground."
"Brilliant!" I said and ran towards it. "No longer will we be defenseless."
I grabbed the hilt and tried to pull it out. It didn't budge and I felt annoyed. It had been a bad day for me. Now I couldn't even pick up a stupid sword.
"Wait a minute," the Doctor said hurriedly. He had his sonic screwdriver out, and pointed at the sword. "This is no ordinary metal. It is Gallifreyan Steel... The same material as the Tardis' exterior. How did it get here…"
I wasn't listening to him. I was frustrated. I doubled my efforts and gave the sword a tight tug. But nothing happened. Finally, I gave up and sank to the ground when the Doctor's words made sense to me. The TARDIS. I talked to the sword. I asked it to come out, and to my great surprise, the sword slid out of the ground in a smooth motion, as if it were never stuck there in the first place.
The sword came out and I looked at it in wonder. It was a beautiful sword - long, bright and sharp. Very sharp. On the blade was written a single word. I tilted it sideways so as to read it, and gasped.
"Excalibur," I uttered, turning to the Doctor, who didn't look very surprised to me.
In fact, he was smiling. He took a step closer to me and bowed. "It is your sword, My King. Now shall we enter the First Golden Age of Britain."
"King? What do you mean 'King'?" I asked in bemusement, but the Doctor merely stared at me. Then I balked and took a step back. It couldn't be. "No!" I shouted. "I'm not King Arthur!"
"You are him," the Doctor said plainly, and I knew he spoke the truth. But I didn't want to believe it. Memories from my childhood came back to me - the Lady… Guinevere… Ginny… How could I not have figured that out? Had I been so blind? My Ginny was the Lady who cared for me when I was a child… How could I believe such a ludicrous thing… I just couldn't! I wouldn't!
Then it made perfect sense. Bors… I named him. Names… it was all in the names… they meant nothing, but at that moment they meant everything… Arthur wasn't just a name I picked by chance. It was fate. Long before he became King, I knew his name, and I picked it because it was mine already. I was Harry. And I was Arthur.
I tripped and fell backwards. Feeling the mud soak through my pants, I felt the horror seep through me. Memories came back… the Lady's grieving nights for five long years as she devoted herself to look after me… her tears for her Arthur… for me… The tale of Arthur and Guinevere… the betrayal of Guinevere… Was that the life I had been doomed to live? Was that the happiness that was written for us by the Hand of Fate? To be separated sorrowfully from each other…
"And yet they get together again, in the end," the Doctor said musingly, almost as if he could hear my thoughts. "Arthur and Guinevere… Harry and Ginny… an immortal story of love, mired within deceit."
"Ginny would never deceive me!" I hissed angrily. Lies. All lies. I would never believe that. My Ginny would never deceive me. The older me must have been wrong. The Doctor was wrong. "My Ginny would never betray me!"
The Doctor didn't say anything. He looked old. Older than he usually did. And tired.
I felt rage rise like a tide within me. How could he be tired! He was the Doctor! But… no, he wasn't! He wasn't MY DOCTOR! I didn't want him! I never wanted him! I needed my Doctor! He would know what to do. He always did. Why wasn't he coming back to me? The man who made me laugh…
And then as suddenly as it came, my rage vanished, and I stared at the old man indifferently. "So I am Arthur, King of Britain?"
"Yes." And so I was, here at seventeen years of age, destined to be a king.
"Then that makes you Merlin."
The Doctor looked surprised. I nearly laughed in slight vindictiveness. I wasn't going to do this alone. If I had to be King, I would keep the Doctor with me, regardless of his shape, size or age. The Doctor spluttered. I had never seen him do that.
"I s-suppose so… M-Merlin… B-But I can't even do m-magic!"
Arthur… Harry… my head suddenly started whirling. Who was I? What was I? Why was I here? Why wasn't I with my Ginny!
"They said Merlin aged backwards," I said, getting up. I looked at the sword in distaste. It was the bane of my existence… the wergild of my happiness… the measure of my future glory…
I had heard Arthur's last song. I had seen it. I had seen his last standing. I had heard his final farewell. I had even seen his coronation. All along… it was none other than me. How could I deal with such revelations?
I turned to the Doctor.
"And the other you looks much younger. If I am King Arthur, then you were always my Merlin."
The Doctor looked at me in surprise. "You might have something there. I never thought about it like that."
"Then you must know that you cannot leave me like you usually do, Doctor," I said harshly. The child in me was still hurt by the first abandoning… perhaps I was never an innocent child, but the Doctor had given me my childhood back momentarily, before snatching it away with his departure. "This Golden Age of Britain that you speak of… it was created by Arthur and Merlin together."
"Until Morgan trapped him in the Crystal Caves," he said musingly. "I wonder what that metaphor was all about."
Then the Doctor did something I had never seen him, either of him, do before. He was terrified. And I mean terrified. Pure terror. An inhuman aura of doom and dread was written all over his face and he gasped for air. "No… Dear God if you exist, have mercy." His steps faltered and his breath became heavier and faster.
It was a most horrible sight. "What?" I asked in concern. I might be annoyed with him but I didn't want to see him like that. I gave him my hand for support.
He looked at me fearfully, and opened his mouth but didn't say anything. Shaking his head, he took my hand. He muttered in a low voice, "I think I know why the other me hasn't been able to come back to you. It appears we face a much greater danger than I feared."
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Chapter 15 - The Bear and the Lion
It wasn't an easy path to Kingship. It was full of hardship and toil. But the memory of the people's love for their King was always foremost in my mind. I had to be worthy of such love. I had to be their savior.
And that was what I became. I forged a banner. A Bear and a Lion, one body, but facing in either directions. That was who I became. The Bear and the Lion. Wherever I saw suffering, my banner followed. I fought against wizards and witches who believed they had the right to rule over others. I fought against corrupt nobles and landlords. I overthrew false kings. But I didn't do it alone. The Doctor was always by my side. He never killed, and I tried not to. But his advanced technology was seen as a strange and powerful form of magic by others, and so Merlin the Mage became legendary.
And so did Arthur, with his war-cries.
I found Salazar one day. He had forsaken the comfortable life he was used to, and taken refuge in the house of his ancestors. I was correct in my judgment, he was an aristocrat. I fought against him too. His brothers were cruel, which was why he had left, and I was forced to kill them. But Salazar swore fealty to me. And I renamed him. To the world, Sir Kay became the first and most loyal of my knights. But to me, he was always Salazar.
The common people accepted me at once. The Doctor said it was my eyes. They were haunting. They spoke a promise of deliverance. I knew better. My eyes were not haunting… they were haunted.
Society was crumbling. And I was Arthur. I had to make a change. I owed it to the people, for the love they had, or would have, for me. For a lonely boy, called a freak by his own family, that love was beyond anything I could imagine. It was overwhelming. And yet, I needed it.
It was in Southern England, far from Ginny, that I found my stronghold. Salazar suggested moving North, closer to Ginny, for he knew how much I yearned for her. But I couldn't afford to let thoughts of her blind me to everything else. I was Arthur. I remembered my last song.
The Golden Age of Brittania… I poured my heart and soul into making it happen. The followers of the Greater Path, magicians of all kinds and talents, were made answerable for their deeds. Persecution of non-magic people was stopped. They knew I myself was a magic-user, and yet, they loved me dearly. I was Arthur, their King. King of Camelot.
Camelot was beautiful. Much more so than Hogwarts, much stronger, much more powerful, much more… modern. And for that, I had the Doctor to thank. His knowledge of advanced technology when powered with magic made for an incredible combination. I had little doubt as to why Merlin and Arthur had become legendary, when so many other upstarts had failed. It was all because of the Doctor. He was Merlin. And he was Arthur as well, or at least, he was everything good about Arthur.
Arthur's standard became the most joyous sight for the people, and the most terrifying for my enemies. Wherever a cry was heard, the banner was seen shortly, crushing all oppression and injustice. I was a bear among wolves, a lion among hyenas. I was a terror to the terrorists. I was death. And I was a savior.
For years, I fought many battles, and several of my old friends joined me. Anna had stayed with us all through, and became a dear friend of mine. We shared much of our joys and sorrows together. It was she who named my Castle Camelot. I liked the name.
Among the rest, Gavin and Gareth were the first to join me. Having heard news of King Arthur in the South who rose to the succor of the people and the land, Lady Helga bade them farewell. She knew her wards were no longer interested in learning when their childhood friend was facing mortal peril. A year later, Bors joined me. He had his scar that the younger me was so frightened of, and with him came Lance, though he had started calling himself Lancelot du Lake. He came with a big smile and words of fealty, but said he would be returning to Godric for the final stages of his apprenticeship. I welcomed them all with open arms, and a broken heart. Ginny hadn't come.
Lance told me Ginny was as heartbroken as I was. But she was nearing the end of her apprenticeship. She decided to stay. But whenever I would ask Bors to tell me of Ginny, he would keep quiet.
I had made several allies. I invited them to join me at my table, where my allies gathered. Salazar, Merlin, Bors, Lancelot, Gavin and Gareth. Tristan was another young friend of mine, who fought bravely at my side. Him also I invited to my Table. Among my new friends were Pellinore and Percival, lords of their own estates.
But all were unified at the Table… it was the Doctor's masterpiece. With alien technology, he designed it. To all appearances, it was but a single wooden table in the middle of the great stone hall. And, it was round.
I didn't know why exactly it needed to be round, but the Doctor muttered something like, 'Perfect electromagnetic field'.
I didn't understand fully. This much I knew. Any who entered the room with pride would meet his fall. A single chair, the Siege Perilous, was the focus of the Doctor's task. And by Merlin's decree, only the perfect knight could sit there. This hypothetical knight didn't exist, and so any who took the seat was would feel intense pain. It was in this manner that many proud men were humbled. And then they became my knights.
It was in my twenty second year that rumors first came of her - Morgan le Fay. People shuddered at her name, even my knights. But to my surprise, even the Doctor would have a gleam of uncertainty every time her name was mentioned. He truly feared her. And he was suspicious of Lancelot as well. But I told him he was being ridiculous in his old age. Lancelot was the dearest of my friends, save Kay, Bors and Ginny. The Doctor merely sighed.
There was but one thing missing in my life… my best friend, and the girl I had vowed to marry.
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Chapter 16 - The Maiden and the Knight
It came, at last. The day I had been yearning for since I flew out of Hogwarts in anger. How I wished I had stayed behind! Then I would have been with Ginny all along. Perhaps I might never have found that accursed sword. But it happened and could not be changed. And Ginny was coming to me.
It had been decided. I would marry Ginny. An alliance was needed between Hogwarts and Camelot, and Lord Godric had proposed marriage with his adopted daughter Guinevere. I felt sad that the change of name had occurred with my having no knowledge of it. But I agreed.
On the day itself, however, I was in much doubt. The Castle was in full festivity and all the faithful crowd was gathered. But I was highly temperamental. The marriage ceremony was very grand, but very formal. Several important guests were present, and I didn't get a chance to talk to Ginny. But from what I saw, she seemed a shell of her old self. Did she really love me anymore? We were but seventeen when I left her. Now we were twenty three. Six long years of separation. That was the fate of a King. My people came above me. Always. They would always do so.
Even during the ceremony, Ginny barely looked at me. I didn't understand. We were best friends. When we danced, I saw her eyes kept dropping to the ground, and I asked her if everything was alright. She nodded, but I wasn't convinced.
Then I was busy with the guests. I saw Ginny looking at me distantly, and I felt hurt. Had I really created such a huge wall between us by leaving?
The formalities ended with a few minutes of daylight still remaining and I walked to the garden. I wanted to be away from people. I was sitting alone in the shade of a tree when I saw the sparkle of sunlight on flaming red hair. I saw her. She walked to me, and her face was no longer covered in the veil as it was through the marriage ceremony. I was stunned. She was even more beautiful than I remembered her. She was heavenly, divine. She was an angel. I couldn't move. I couldn't say a word. Then she giggled, and the spell was broken. I ran to her.
"Ginny," I said in a rush of emotions, taking her hand. She gave it to me willingly and I took that as a good sign. Lifting it to my lips, I kissed the back of her hand tenderly.
"You look good," she said after a few seconds of awkward silence between us.
I gulped. Then I reminded myself I was King Arthur. I was the crusher of foes, leader of the bravest men, a bear and a lion… but I was also Harry. And this was Ginny in front of me.
"I have no words," I said in a breathless voice. "No words at all to describe how beautiful you are. I wouldn't have thought it possible that you could become more… not after all... I'm sorry I left you."
"Arthur," she said and something in her voice stopped me. She looked at me teary-eyed and a feeling of dread washed through me.
"Do you not want to marry me?" I asked quietly.
"I do," she said in a high pitch, and I knew she was sincere. "I love you. I love you," she shouted, and I took her in my arms. I leaned forward and kissed her. It was a sweet, tender kiss with years of longing thrown into mere seconds.
It was insufficient, and she came at me hungrily.
"I love you too," I told her after parting for breath.
Her eyes were sad and her next words haunted me. "Do you?"
How could she even doubt it! I looked at her in disbelief. Of course I loved her. I told her that. But she wasn't convinced.
"You have been living with Anna for the past six years," she said quietly. I heard the accusation in her voice.
"Ginny, believe me," I said desperately. I needed her to believe me. "I have never looked at any girl. Not. A. Girl. I haven't, not since I left you. Anna is like my sister." But instead of comforting her, my words seemed to horrify her even more.
"Y-You mean, you have been waiting all this while? You have never been with any girl?"
"I have been waiting for you, my love."
Then she turned and fled in tears. I was shocked. Was that not the right answer? I didn't know what was happening. I tried to follow her but the door to her chamber was locked. Outside, I saw Bors look at me sadly.
"Let her be, My King. There are some things that are better left unknown."
I turned to Bors angrily. "If you know anything, Sir Bors, then it is my command as your King to tell me what bothers my wife."
Bors looked at me sadly. "It is not a King I face, but a man in love."
I bristled in anger. "They are both one and the same."
"If you truly believe that, My King, then I shall do as you say, but you will not thank me for it. The Lady Guinevere weeps because she didn't have as much faith in you as you had in her. She thought you would have moved on, and she tried to do so herself."
I felt my heart stop. For a second I thought Bors had turned to stone, and then I realized my hand was on Excalibur, and it was drawn. I took a deep breath and reminded myself I was Arthur. I was a King. And then I realized Bors was right. I wasn't a King at this moment. I was a man in love. I took another deep breath and eased my grip on Excalibur.
"Pardon me, Sir Bors," I said calmly. "You were right. Are you aware of who was this lucky man, to receive attention from the Lady Guinevere?"
Bors lowered his head in shame. "This I do not know for sure, My King. And not even my fealty to you will command me to slander an innocent man."
I knew better than to try. Bors was an honest and honorable man. I had no right to make him break his honor. But I was angry. He was most likely correct in his guess, and he was keeping it from me. I knew I shouldn't have done what I was about to, but that was the weakest moment in my entire life since I had touched Excalibur, and so I said, "Then this I ask of you, Sir Bors. Whatever fealty you have to me, let it transfer henceforth to the Lady Guinevere. Let her not feel a prisoner in my house, among my knights. You and your men will do as she commands, now and always. You are no longer my knight."
He bowed.
"You may speak to your Lady." I turned and left.
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Chapter 17 - The Lonely Husband
I was devastated. I was distraught. My Ginny… was not just mine anymore… she had found comfort in the arms of another man. Even the very thought made me feel sick. It did. I turned to a side to clear my stomach.
"Is there anything you need to talk about?" I heard the voice of the Doctor and shook my head. It wasn't the right him. Only one person could have helped me then, and he had abandoned me many years ago.
"In that case, I shall talk to you."
I shrugged.
"She loves you still."
I shrugged.
"She has always loved you, and always will. It was a moment of weakness, perhaps in a moment of grief and loneliness."
I shrugged.
"Perhaps in a moment of enchantment."
I turned to him with wide eyes. "How can you tell?"
"I cannot. But can you? Can she? Have you talked to her? Do you know what happened?"
I shook my head.
"Then do not assume. Now, go to her. She hasn't eaten or come out of her bed chamber for two days."
I was horrified. I got up and went to the kitchen and took a loaf of bread, some meat, and an apple. I then walked to her room and knocked. It was closed. I didn't care. I took out my wand and opened it magically, and was horrified by the sight in front of me.
Ginny was lying sprawled on her bed, staring blankly at me. Her face seemed so lifeless, so pitiful. I nearly dropped the food. Walking to her side, I dropped the food on the bed and looked at her seriously.
"You still cry for me." It wasn't a question, just an observation.
Her only reply was the streaming flow of tears. I tore a piece of bread and brought it to her lips.
"You are weak."
She allowed me to feed her small nibbles of bread slowly, but she didn't move from her position. I don't think she had enough energy to do so. She looked terrible, but still she looked beautiful to me.
"You are beautiful."
She looked at me, a flicker of hope flashing in her eyes. I smiled. I was Arthur, King of my people. I was also Harry, Ginny's best friend. But right then, I was nothing more than a lonely husband.
I put my hand on top of hers, but didn't close it. It had to be her choice. "I don't know what happened, save you lost faith in me. For that I'm hurt and disappointed, and so are you. I do not know if I can forget this, but for now, take my hand," I begged. "Come with me."
I closed my eyes as I waited for her to respond. A few seconds ticked by, and then I felt soft fingers tightly clutching my own, and I smiled.
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Chapter 18 - Mordred
For two years, Guinevere and I lived with little mention of the painful past. It was as if an understanding had been reached between us that I'd forgive, and try to forget. She was still the same caring and lovely person I knew her to be. She was still very protective of me. But it was now defiled by a sense of insecurity. She would look at me with uncertainty, unsure of herself, despite my frequent attempts to try and heal the past. I had no idea how to do that.
But regardless of everything I tried, I couldn't forget. She was no longer the image of perfection I had in my head, and I refused to think of her as Ginny anymore. Ginny was the fiery redhead who would take on the whole world and challenge a queen for my sake, Ginny was the girl who loved me, and me alone, Ginny was the… Ginny was a part of me that was forever lost. The woman who shared my bed was Guinevere. That is what I caller her, and indeed thought of her - Guinevere.
And I was Arthur, King of Camelot, and soon to be King of all Britain. I had a duty to my people, to forge a just and peaceful society from the muddy pool of corruption and hedonism. I had to do that. I knew I would. The people needed me to do that for them. I remembered the last song of Arthur. It was my own.
And so I became the undisputed Sovereign over all of Britannia. I became King of Britain, not just of Camelot. The people of the land had chosen me, indeed they cherished me. I was theirs. And so came the day of fulfillment. Fulfillment of all my dreams, and my woes - my coronation as King of Britain.
A rumor had started about Mordred, an illegitimate son of my get on Anna, whom I loved as a sister. I was sorely hurt when I heard Lance himself taking part in these rumors. So did Elaine, Anna's own sister.
And after the coronation, this untruth became irrefutable. Some of my noblest knights swore seeing a small child who looked exactly like me. And then I cursed my uncle for the first time in my life. If only I had been physically normal as a child and appeared my true age when I was at the coronation with the Doctor, it would have been easy to refute these rumors. But as matters stood, I couldn't. Too many swore by the evidence of their eyes. Lancelot included.
Lancelot did a lot more than that. He decried my relationship with Anna, claiming it to be the most vile of all. He further claimed he had the true love of my Queen since Hogwarts, and I was crushed. I turned to Guinevere, who not only confirmed it with her silence, but looked at me in anger.
"All this while," she hissed. "All this while, you have been playing with me. You and Anna..."
"Guinevere," I tried to explain. "Listen to me. It isn't as it seems. Remember the Doctor."
"How dare you!" she shouted. "How dare you! It's just another lie!"
I looked at her pleadingly, and her anger vanished. She hated me then, but she also loved me.
"Please stay," I whispered miserably. Explanations would amount to little. I begged her with my need... I needed her, and she knew that. And she looked away.
"I love you," she said, not meeting my eyes. "I love only you, my Harry, but I can no longer stay." Slowly, as if the very act caused her physical pain, she removed the wedding ring from her finger. It did cause pain to me. A dagger struck through my chest could not have caused more pain.
But I was resigned. I took the ring from her hand, and dropping it in my pocket, I hugged her one final time. Leaning forward, I whispered, "We depart in bitterness, but one day you will understand. Know then that, though I love you, it might be I who needs to stay away."
She almost faltered in her resolve then, and I wished she had. But she was proud. Just like me. She touched my cheek and said, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Then go. But if your heart changes, know that mine might not. You must wait until I come for you. Not before."
In tears, she ran away.
Lancelot turned to follow her, but the Doctor came in his way. "At last you are revealed, you vile serpent."
"Get out of my way, old fool. I know you for the charlatan that you are," my 'good friend' sneered disdainfully and turned to go, only to find Sir Kay blocking his path.
"Can you not see past the illusions of my appearance, old friend?" Salazar hissed in Kay's voice. It was said in Parseltongue, and only the three of us could understand what was said. And the Doctor.
Then Lancelot paled. He recognized Salazar, who had lost everything due to his lies. In desperation, he turned to me. "My king, I have always been faithful to you. What is the meaning of this?"
"Have you, Lance?" I asked quietly. "Have you ever been faithful to me?" It all fell into piece together, even the last annoying puzzle, which had nagged me since the first time I had seen Salazar's prized apprentice. My vision cleared. I knew Lancelot from much earlier. And the memory was horrifying.
"All you ever sought was power. When you learnt all you could from Salazar, you managed to get him thrown out, so you could learn from Godric. With your wiles and tricks, you managed to steal my Ginny from me, if only for an instant." I stayed silent for a moment, and then said, "But that is not all, is it, Tom Riddle?"
"How do you know that name?" Lance barked in pure fury, his eyes boring holes into the very wall with their intensity.
But I held his gaze. I was Arthur, King of Britain, sworn to protect my people from all evil. And here was evil unmasked before my very eyes.
"That is not important," I said. It was a pity his appearance as the shadow boy held an illusion charm which prevented me from seeing him fully. Or else none of this might have happened. But then, the Doctor would argue that it had already happened, so it had to come to pass. I looked at the Doctor, who was edging closer to Lancelot, or Riddle.
"Tell me, Lance, how did you manage to travel through time? It is not your right."
The boy's eyes widened in surprise, and he took a step back and collided with the Doctor. They started brawling, with Sir Kay joining in the fray. But just then a cackling laugh was heard, and a green mist rose out of Lancelot's ring.
The Doctor jumped back in terror, and Sir Kay hissed in pain. The mist rose and took the shape of a woman.
"Morgan le Fay!" Kay yelled, and started backing away.
"No," said the Doctor. I saw fear vanish from his eyes, giving way to a glint of iron that reminded me so much of my Doctor that I thought having an apparition of the most feared witch in my court worth it. "It is Rani! The Time Lady!"
"Doctor," the shadow woman said, almost politely. "It has been some time. But I'm afraid, I'm not yet ready. I apologize for my bad manners, King Arthur, but I'll be leaving now with my apprentice." Then the mist covered both her and Lancelot, and within moments, they disappeared from sight.
I turned to the Doctor. "Merlin, look after things. I need to see if Ginny is okay." I was Arthur, but I was also Harry. And Guinevere was Ginny, no matter how I tried to think otherwise.
The Doctor nodded, and I ran indoors. The queen's contingent was all prepared and ready to go. The queen herself was entering the carriage. Bors was her lead guard. I sighed. He would keep her safe. But then I remembered thinking the same about Lancelot. And I shuddered. I would go with them, at least until I was certain they were out of harm's way. I found a spare uniform and donned it, with an illusion charm hiding my true appearance.
We rode in silence until I saw a familiar sight, a sight that brought tears to my eyes… a Doctor and his Bunny. This was the day I had been abandoned… the worst day of my life, along with the day I found out about Guinevere's unfaithfulness.
Seeing myself in a bunny costume brought back tears to my eyes. In front of me was a child who didn't believe he had the right to be happy. Not until he met one man. The very man who would be abandoning him any moment now. But the child managed to bury that hurt deep within his heart, and grown up to become a man. He grew up to marry the woman of his dream. And he had only just been abandoned by that very same woman.
But I couldn't bring myself to even compare his pain with mine. It was King Arthur who had to deal with his wife leaving him, but there was a hurt child in front of me… about to suffer more pain than any child ever should…
Looking at Guinevere, I saw an overwhelming sense of horror creep into her face. She was seeing the truth that was in front of her eyes all along. The truth about Mordred. The very truth that she wouldn't believe from my tongue. I wiped a tear from my eye. She was crying now. In agony, we were unified.
I saw the younger me approach her. She kissed him. My first kiss. How could I be angry with her? I saw him respond to her, savoring the closeness. I yearned for it. Not the Lady… but my Ginny.
Then he rejected her offer to stay with her. I saw Guinevere completely devastated. I knew what she felt. That was how I felt a while ago. And she knew that too. She saw the truth before her. She feared I, Arthur, would refuse her too… and she knew she would deserve it.
But then the little rabbit kissed her cheek.
My heart broke at seeing the younger me console her, and if it weren't for the tremendous self control I had had to muster, to be able to become who and what I was, I would have displaced the younger me from my lover's arms. But I didn't. He needed Guinevere more than I did. I looked at my wife.
And there I was, facing a choice. Guinevere had realized the truth, and would not require a second thought to return to me. But the door of the TARDIS was open. I looked at my Guinevere surreptitiously. She was hugging the younger me. All eyes were on them, except one pair - the Doctor's.
The Doctor removed a piece of paper from the breast pocket of his pinstripe suit and scribbled something on it. I knew what was in that letter. And then I realized. The decision to stay or leave was not mine to make. It had already been made. Guinevere didn't need me now. Or at least, not the older me. She wouldn't be able to face Arthur.
Facing Arthur now would make her wounds permanent. She had wronged me. Twice. And she hated herself for that. This was a hate I couldn't draw out of her. Only one person could. Only one person could show her how truly I loved her, and it wasn't me. That person was in her arms.
She needed to mend her heart. She needed to look after Harry Bunny. It was the only way to heal… to remember how to love unconditionally. And I…
I couldn't stay either.
Suddenly, I felt cold. I heard… no, I felt echoes calling me home. Home… what was home?
Guinevere had betrayed me, and though I loved her dearly, I could not bear to be with her just yet. I needed healing too… I needed my doctor… And he was right in front of me. With that thought, I slid into the TARDIS... I went home.
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Chapter 19 - The Man Who Made Me Smile
I saw the Doctor enter the TARDIS and take it away somewhere. He hadn't see me, and had gone straight to the console table. I noticed he didn't think twice about what buttons he pressed. He didn't care, and neither did I. This was the TARDIS - the first place I called home. This was where the echoes were coming from. The TARDIS called me to itself, and to the Doctor. He was the father, and the grandfather, I never had. I felt overwhelmed. So much had happened to the little bunny who walked out this very TARDIS, to become the lost King that just walked in.
"Hello, Doctor," I said quietly when he remained transfixed for several minutes in his thoughts, unmoving. He hadn't even noticed my presence. I broke his reverie.
He turned to me instantly, and regarded me silently. Slowly, he said, "Arthur, Lord of Camelot and King of Britain, Knight Supreme of the Round Table; Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Chosen One, apprentice of Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin," then his voice broke, and he said with more emotion than I could fathom, "my Little Bunny…"
I smiled. I had yearned to hear that voice for nearly two decades now, and I finally did. But then my smile faltered. I wad waited for so long, and for him, it was only a few moments of parting. How would he know how harsh it was for a little bunny to be thrown out to the wolves!
"But the bunny has grown up to become a bear… and a lion," he said musingly. It was uncanny, his ability to still be able to read my thoughts as if I were speaking out loud.
"Why?" I asked, my eyes were completely damp. I looked at him miserably. "Why did you leave him behind? You could have given him all the love of a parent. Why did you leave him, Doctor? Why did you leave me?"
The Doctor looked at the floor of the TARDIS for several minutes. Time ticked by - a meaningless concept for a Time Lord as he faced me. I was struck by the timeless and ageless grief so clear in his eyes.
"Sarah-Jane Smith," he said. That name was familiar but I couldn't quite place it. "I don't expect you to remember. She was your grandmother on your maternal side."
I nodded slowly. The Doctor must have mentioned it sometime.
"I loved her. I loved her as you love Ginny. And she loved me as Ginny loves you."
I didn't say anything. To even think about Ginny was painful. Much more pain than I could bear handling then.
"I see the pain in your eyes, Harry," he said softly. "That was the pain I held in mine… when I left Sarah-Jane behind."
"Why did you leave her behind?"
The Doctor didn't answer. He was fighting the ghosts of his own past. "When I next saw her, she had aged, while I had de-aged. She had waited for me, but I... How could I stay? Then she moved on, married, had children, grandchildren, and died. I lingered. Then came Rose Tyler, and she also left. I lingered. Harry, understand this, a few seconds ago when I saw you, you were seven. Now, you are nearly twenty seven. I…" his voice broke. "The next time I see you… I don't know. I just don't know."
He was staring into space, lost and confused, more so than I had ever been. Then he turned to me, his eyes wet.
"The next time, you might not be here, but I will linger... There is nothing I would have liked more than to be my Harry Bunny's Doctor. Nothing!"
Then I understood. He cared too much. More than he ought to. I was only human, while he was much more. He was immortal in every way, save one. He could still feel pain. It was his curse.
"You were the father I never had, and the other you was a grandfather to me," I said quietly. "I would travel with you as long as I could, but I see I can't."
I closed my eyes and felt peaceful. An empty hole in my heart was filled. Now there was only one other hole. Guinevere… no, Ginny… always Ginny, never again Guinevere… My Ginny… who will proceed to cry her heart out for five years, and only be able to sleep when holding a younger me.
I missed her. I loved her. But before I could go back to her, I had a duty to my people. King Arthur must always come before Harry. I remembered the last song. It was mine.
"Doctor, will you take me back to my people? With the threat of Morgan le Fay, I cannot leave Britain kingless."
Then the Doctor stood up, resolve glinting in his eye. "King Arthur, this I promise you. Though I must by needs leave you at your next destination, in your final battle against your foes, you will not fight alone. The circle will be closed."
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