Disclaimer: If you're a corrupt politician . . .or anything else really, don't leave evidence that can convict you laying around.

Sames Stay Together

"Harry?"

"What is it?" Harry asked his friend.

"Have you checked the shop below our apartment?"

"No, why?"

"It's empty," Hermione explained. "Do you think it would be a good idea to find a tenant?"

"Maybe," Harry demurred. "Depends on the tenant, it'd have to be the right sort. If you know what I mean?"

"What do you mean?" Hermione demanded with narrowed eyes.

"Someone we can trust not to inform on us," Harry said. "What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing Harry. Do you think we could get the twins?" Hermione added before her friend thought to pursue the matter.

"Why don't I ask them later?" Harry suggested.

"We are kinda busy right now," Hermione agreed. "Finding anything in Fudge's desk?"

"Some gold, a few dark magical items, nothing big. You got his safe open?"

"Having a bit of trouble with it," Hermione said with a frown. "Got anymore of that acid?"

"Don't leave home without it," Harry agreed as he tossed her the bottle.

"Be careful with that," Hermione hissed.

"It'll eat metal, it'll eat your clothes, but it won't hurt you." Harry reassured his friend. "Another one of mum's recipes."

"I didn't see that one," Hermione said as she uncapped the bottle. "Wasn't in her diary."

"It was in the Evans family techniques," Harry explained. "Her additions anyway."

"Oh… don't you think it's kinda weird?"

"What?"

"The fact that your parents had a proper pureblood match after all?" Hermione explained as she took the door off the safe. "In how they jointed two families together to increase their techniques."

"Dad's journal," Harry began. "Said that while opposites attract, likes stay together. Advised me to find a cute little thief of my own."

"Oh… well look what we have here," Hermione said in delight.

"What is it?"

"A mysterious silvery liquid," Hermione replied. "I wonder what's on these."

"Grab 'em," Harry suggested. "We'll go through them later."

"And a Gringotts key," Hermione continued. "Oooh, look at these diamonds."

"How big is that safe anyway?"

"Bigger on the inside," Hermione replied absently. "Be sure to grab those books, I thought I noticed a couple rare titles in them."

"Ok, why do you suppose Fudge has 'em?"

"Makes him look good maybe?" Hermione said with a shrug. "Got everything?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "Got the bugs placed?"

"Both hard and easy to find," Harry agreed. "Shall we go?"

"Let's."

IIIIIIIIII

Tonks growled as yet another jerk put his hand on her hip and tried a cheesy pickup line. "Hey baby, how bout you and I go find some place private for a bit of fun?" Wait… she knew that voice, a glance in the mirror confirmed it and she did a quick morph before turning around.

"Why I'd love to… Stephen?"

"MUM?" The man said sickly. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to find a strapping young man to warm up my evening," Tonks replied. "And while it'll be a little odd at first, you're the only offer I've had all night."

"No… uh… I gotta go."

"Wait honey, don't you wanna warm up my evening?" Tonks giggled as the green man fled the bar. "Wuss."

"Rough night?" The bartender asked.

"Can't find a decent guy," Tonks replied. "They're all either like him or afraid of commitment."

"You'll find someone," the bartender said sympathetically. "Just don't' give up hope."

"Yeah," Tonks said flatly. "Right."

"Come on, you must know one decent guy?"

"Two actually," Tonks groaned. "One's taken."

"And the other?"

"Is a werewolf and refuses to get into a relationship with anyone, much less a girl so much younger then him."

"Tough break."

"Yeah… but maybe." Tonks grinned. "They do spend a lot of time with Luna… and I only want to borrow him for a bit."

"What is it?"

"Just thinking that a friend might loan me something if I ask nicely," Tonks replied. "Something to pursue later anyway."

"That's the spirit."

IIIIIIIIII

"I've got the script ready, Master," Elizabeth said. "Could you read it with me?"

"Sure," Ron agreed. "Who am I?"

"The plumber, Master."

"Uh… I hear your pipes are plugged up, better let me get a look at them."

"Ok."

"I don't see anymore lines." Ron glanced at the back of the page.

"There aren't anymore lines master," the girl replied as she reached for the clasp on her skull bra.

IIIIIIIIII

"Am I still grounded?" Ginny whined.

"I don't know," Molly replied. "Do you still want to join your brother's harem?"

"I didn't know it was my brother," Ginny protested. "And I never wanted to join his harem, I wanted to steal back the family spells."

"I'm still waiting for an answer."

"I don't want to join his harem," Ginny said dully.

"And have you given up joining any dark lord?"

"Yes, mum."

"Or becoming a dark witch?"

"…"

"Or becoming a dark witch," Molly asked sharply.

"But it's fun, mum," Ginny protested.

"Then I think you need more time in your room."

"Why does Ron get to be a dark wizard if I can't?" Ginny yelled as she slammed the door to her room.

"Honestly," Molly groaned. "If I'd have known daughters were this difficult then I'd have stuck with having sons."

IIIIIIIIII

"Anything interesting in those memories?" Harry asked.

"The usual, corruption, corruption, and more corruption."

"Any way to copy those?"

"Easy, why?"

"One to Madame Bones, one to the Daily Prophet, one to the Quibbler, and one to every witch and wizard we can think of."

"Sounds like fun," Hermione agreed with a giggle. "He deserves it after what he tried to do to you."

"And we can clean out his house while he's busy trying to explain everything to the public."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Good night."

"Good night, Harry."

"Morning, Angelina," Fred said as he awoke.

"Good morning, Fred," the girl replied. "Don't you have to open the shop?"

"George is doing that today," Fred replied. "Katie is still angry with him over that misunderstanding."

"You can't blame her," Angelina defended her friend. "I wouldn't have believed that either of you had made an honest mistake either."

"But he did," Fred said in exasperation. "And to be frank, he's a bit saddened that she'd think he'd stoop so low as to try something that childish. How was he supposed to know that Thai food tasted like fire? It's muggle stuff, he only chose the restaurant because it had those little tables."

"I'll talk to her," Angelina promised. It really was long past time her friend stopped pretending to be angry.

"Thanks, Angelina," Fred said happily. "George just isn't the same without Katie around."

"Whatever, just give me a kiss before I go." Fred complied and watched his girl disappear with a pop.

Fred got out of bed, dressed, and joined his brother in the shop.

"Well?" George asked.

"Angelina is going to talk to her," Fred replied. "I still say you shouldn't apologize."

"Remember what dad said," George replied. "Apologize or else. Doesn't matter if you're right or not."

"I guess," Fred agreed slowly. "Still don't like it."

"They are the weaker sex, catering to their poor logic is the gentlemanly thing to do after all."

"True."

"Ready to open?"

"Let's." The twins opened the door to admit Fred's Ministry assigned bodyguards.

"Morning boys," the Aurors greeted the twins. "Still can't tell witch is witch."

"There's a joke here," Fred mused, as he looked at the two men in identical outfits. "I'm just not sure what it is."

"Hey Fred, George." Harry said as he walked into the shop. "Why are there two Aurors standing next to you?"

"Bodyguards," Fred replied. "What can I do for you Harry?"

"Just wondering if you were happy with your current building," Harry said. He figured it best not to ask about the bodyguards.

"Couldn't be happier," George said.

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh… I own the building down the street and I was wondering if you wanted to move in."

"Which one?" George asked. "The red one-"

"-or the green one?" Fred finished.

"Um… the brownstone," Harry said nervously.

"The giant one?" Fred gasped. "You own that?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "But if you're happy here."

"You kidding, Harry?" George laughed. "We'd love to move into your building, how much do you want to charge for rent?"

"Two hundred?" Harry said uncertainly.

"Two hundred?" Fred asked in shock.

"One hundred?" Harry tried again.

"Harry… friend of mine," George said. "We pay six hundred for this place."

"Plus a large security deposit," Fred agreed. "We'd love to move into your building."

"Thanks guys," Harry said. "Makes me feel better to have someone in the shop… uh."

Fred glanced at his bodyguards. "Take a step outside for a minute would you guys?"

"You sure, sir?"

"It is Harry Potter, isn't it?" Fred asked. "No Polyjuice?"

"So far as we can tell, sir."

"Then I'll be fine," Fred said. "Harry wouldn't do anything to hurt me, would you Harry?"

"Aside from leading you into an obvious trap?" Harry asked with a weak grin.

"Aside from that, yes," George said.

"Yeah." The guards left the room and the twins turned to Harry with quizzical looks on their faces. "Don't tell anyone."

"Our lips are sealed," the twins assured him.

"I'm living in the apartment over the shop," Harry whispered. "There's another at the back of the shop if you'd like to stay in it."

"Living alone-"

"-or with Hermione?"

"Uh… the second," Harry said with a blush. "Luna, Tonks, and Madame Bones might also be dropping by."

"And Hermione knows about this?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Why wouldn't she?"

"We're so proud," George cried. "Our own little Harry-"

"-has his own harem."

"Wait, it's not my harem." Harry said quickly. "I'm working for Madame Bones to catch the Fox and the Hound."

"What about Tonks and Luna?"

"Them, too," Harry agreed.

"Damn," George sighed. "We're disappointed, Harry."

"At least tell us you've seen them in skimpy clothes or something."

"Well… not skimpy clothes," Harry said with a blush.

"No clothes?" Fred pounced on him.

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry stammered. "It was all a misunderstanding."

"Tell us-"

"-or we'll tell Katie and Angelina-"

"-and they'll rat you out to Hermione."

"Uh…she was there," Harry whispered. "She saw as much as I did."

"Maybe he is building a harem?"

"But wants to keep it quiet until he's got everything arranged."

"Don't worry, Harry-"

"-our lips are sealed. Just keep away from Katie-"

"-and Angelina, they're taken-'

"-by us."

"Uh… ok," Harry figured that it was best just to agree at this point.

"Thanks, mate."

IIIIIIIIII

"You sent for me?" Minerva regarded the gathered board of governors with a stern look.

"Have a seat please, Minerva," the chairman said politely. "There's something we need to speak with you about."

"What is it?"

"You've heard of course about Severus Snape?" The man asked. "And his… relationship with the Headmaster."

"It's true, then?"

"Yes," the man agreed with a look of disgust. "It's true."

"Poor Albus."

"If it's any consolation, it seems that he was too senile to understand what was happening."

"It's not," Minerva snapped. "To think this was all going on under my nose and I…"

"Don't blame yourself, Minerva," the man said gently. "None of us knew… we just figured that his odd behaviour was because of who he was, not because what was happening to him."

"So what now?" The old woman asked after several deep breaths.

"We've managed to talk the prophet into leaving out the Headmaster's ordeal," the man said kindly. "But I don't believe that Dumbledore is able to carryout his duties."

"You can't fire him," Minerva gasped. "It'd kill him."

"We aren't going to fire him," the man assured her. "We're going to convince him to delegate more responsibilities to his deputy. With your permission, of course."

"I'll do it," Minerva agreed with a sad frown. "I'm not sure where I'll find the time, but I'll do it."

"We could approve funding for an assistant transfiguration Professor," one of the others mused.

"We will," the chairman agreed. "With your approval, Minerva?"

"Do it."

"Moving to the next subject, a replacement Potions Professor. Any suggestions or preferences?"

"Molly Weasley," Minerva said after a moment of thought. "Received an Outstanding on her N.E.W.T.s and I'm given to understand that her skill hasn't diminished in the intervening years. She may not be of Snape's calibre, but she's more than what's needed for the job at hand and I trust her to be around children without supervision."

"We'll send her an offer," the chairman agreed. "Any thoughts on who we should hire for the position of DADA?"

"Go to Madame Bones," Minerva said. "With the return of Voldemort…" She frowned when several people flinched. "… we're going to need extra security anyway. We may as well get some extra use out of the security force."

"Good thinking, Minerva," the man said with a grin. "I told you lot that she was what we needed. Make yourself comfortable, Minerva, we have a lot of material to work through and only a short time to do it in. Don't hesitate to call for one of the elves if you want any refreshments. Now the next thing on the agenda is…"

AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, and everyone else on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list.