By: Patche
Disclaimer: Umm I do not own/am not in any way affiliated with… Inuyasha, the song "Stay" or any songs I think fit the story perfectly.
The Verdict
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The accident kept playing over and over in my mind… every last bit. It seemed so crazy. Like one big blur. Almost surreal.
Yet, the more I watched it play over in my head, the less sense it made. If Inuyasha had just fallen asleep, why wouldn't my shouting wake him up?
Did he have a seizure? Was he sick? Did he pass out?
"Kagome…"
My eyes shot open as I looked up to see him. I had fallen asleep right next to his bed in the hospital.
I wiped my eyes just to make certain I wasn't dreaming.
Inuyasha was awake. He looked like hell, but he was awake.
"Hey…" I murmured, placing a hand over his with an IV in it. "How are you feeling?"
He chortled before looking away. "I'm alright, I guess… I just woke up a few minutes ago."
I nodded. "Yea. Your brother's here." I said. "You and I have been here a while, but he just got here about an hour ago. Right now he's going over paperwork and talking with the doctors." I shrugged, sitting up in my chair. "I'm not smart enough to understand any of it, really…"
He smiled weakly. "Are you alright?" He asked me, looking me over.
"All intact." I said, smiling.
He nodded and looked away for a moment. There was a long pause between us… he was obviously thinking about something. I had recognized this by now. If ever he paused and stared off… he was usually thinking about something to say or debating whether or not it was appropriate.
"You know, I was wondering… did you ever find out who mystery girl was?"
I nodded. "I think I did. But, I was secretly hoping she didn't really matter anymore." I said laughing. I looked up to see he was a little confused looking… which put an end to my nervous laughter.
"What do you mean?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow.
"Well… you know… I was hoping you'd let her go since you had me… now…" I bit my lip. Oh I was so stupid sometimes… he probably hadn't let Kikyou go… and I was over here making a fool of myself.
He hadn't fallen in love with me… not after a month.
Inuyasha let out a sigh and reached for my hand again. "Kagome…" He started hoarsely. "There is something I needed to tell you." He started just as Sesshoumaru burst through the doors with three doctors in tow.
I saw Inuyasha roll his eyes and look away.
"They found vicoden in your system." He said coldly. The three doctors were practically begging Sesshoumaru to calm down.
To me, he seemed almost creepy calm. I'd never met Sesshoumaru before, but if this was a hyped up Sesshoumaru, his normal state must be quite mellow.
Inuyasha looked away.
"You've been over dosing on pain killers?" Sesshoumaru asked.
Painkillers? Inuyasha was using painkillers?
I just gawked at him; I couldn't help but leave my jaw hanging crazily on its hinges.
"Sesshoumaru, I did it once, okay? It's not that big of a deal…" He said, still glancing away.
"Except that you had a black out while driving your girlfriend home!" Sesshoumaru's voice rose a bit as he spoke.
I tried my best to look as tiny as possible, listening while Inuyasha and his brother argued back and forth about the painkillers.
After a while, the doctors finally told Sesshoumaru to return to his paperwork… leaving me alone with Inuyasha.
I didn't know what to say. I was so much more than disappointed in him. I was hurt.
I looked up to notice him staring at the bloodstain on my shirt from where my seatbelt had stabbed me.
"Kagome…" He said in almost a whisper.
I twirled a lock of hair around my finger to try and think of anything else.
I didn't know what to say. The only word in my brain was 'why'. Why would he do that? Why did it start? Why wasn't I helping?
"I'm just…" He breathed out heavily. "I'm having a really rough time…"
I could feel all my confusion just turning into anger as he said that. "Rough time?" I asked, letting out a sarcastic laugh as I said it.
"You're having a rough time?" I repeated, looking at him quite fiercely.
"Well, yea… I am." He said. I sighed and looked away from him again. "You know, you wouldn't understand, okay? You really wouldn't get it!" He started to speak in his defense.
"Well then, please, explain to me why your life is so horrible so I can understand it!" I shouted back.
The thought of him using painkillers as some ridiculous vice for his "problems with the world" just disturbed me. Here was this guy… my perfect knight in shining armor who O.D. on vicoden to make it through each day.
"Am I not helping anything?" I felt my nose sting and angry tears fell down my cheeks. "Am I not making you happy?"
I could hear him getting angrier. "That isn't the problem. You are not the fucking problem!" He shouted at me.
"Then what is?" I asked, raising my hands for emphasis. "What is the problem? Why would you do this? Inuyasha… you almost died tonight! Do you not understand that?"
"I do… but that doesn't matter to me. I'd much rather die happily."
I sniffled, trying to stop crying. "Then what about me?" I asked, biting my lip. "I almost died tonight, too… what if I did? Huh? What if I was the one hooked up to all the fluids the doctors could give me? What if no one could save me? What if I died, would that not matter to you either?"
He sighed. "It would matter, okay? But you didn't die… and neither did I. We're both just fine." He said bitterly.
I grumbled and grabbed my bag, standing up. "No, we're not fine." I said before leaving the room, making sure I slammed the door behind me.
He didn't get it. He really didn't. This was a matter of life or death. Maybe with just one more pill he wouldn't have ever woken up.
And he had to act like such an ass about it… like I was being unreasonably concerned. Maybe I was, but the idea of losing him was one of the scariest things that I could think of.
I managed to make my way over to Sesshoumaru.
"Thank you…" He said softly, not bothering to look at me.
I cocked my head to the side. "For what?" I asked. He stood up and handed the clipboard to a nearby nurse.
"For calling the ambulance." I just laughed.
"Umm… why wouldn't I have?" I asked noticing Sesshoumaru was looking at my bloodstain.
"Is that yours?" He asked, completely ignoring my question and gesturing towards my torso.
I tried to cover it up, but failed. "Well… yea…"
"From the accident?" He asked. I nodded.
He let out a 'hmm' and walked away from me.
Sesshoumaru was rather strange.
And so, I continued my march outside. I was mad… very mad… but I really wanted Inuyasha to just feel better. I didn't want him to be sick or feel like he needed vicoden to feel okay everyday.
The truth was, I wished I had been the vise for him.
As I made my way to the parking lot, I noticed my mom's van parked right in front of me.
Oh shit.
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A/N: Ooh. I wonder what brought all this on. My mind is so fried because of vicoden. I hate it. Oh and for those wondering what Inuyasha was going to tell her… I'm not so sure if it was about his addiction or his feelings for her. It doesn't really matter now, though, does it? Thanks for reading. I'll update tomorrow more than likely. I just can't stop writing this story. The whole idea of vicoden was not where I wanted to go with this until about an hour ago. I had the whole story planned out, then… poof… I changed my mind completely.
Enjoy
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