Disclaimer: Tampering with official paperwork is a crime . . . or at least, I'd assume it is.

Lucy's Ink

"Good morning, Luna," Hermione said without opening her eyes.

"Good morning, Hermione. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Hermione replied. "You're naked aren't you?"

"Maybe."

"Were you planning to put any clothes on?"

"Nope, no plans to put on any clothes."

"One of Harry's shirts should be sitting at the foot of the bed," Hermione began.

"I've found it."

"Put it on," Hermione said firmly.

"But…"

"Now."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Will I get punished if I don't?" She asked hopefully.

"Not in the way you'd like to be."

"Ok," she said in disappointment. "But before I do."

"What is it?"

"I need you to check something out for me," Luna said.

"What is it?" Hermione felt Luna grab her wrist and place her hand on the other girl's breast.

"Does that feel like a lump to you?"

"Let me see," Hermione said. She spent a few minutes examining the area.

"Ooh."

"I'm not doing this for your enjoyment, Luna."

"Maybe not," Luna gasped. "But I'm enjoying it anyway."

"I think it's just scar tissue," Hermione said after a few minutes. "You might want to get it checked out anyway though."

"Thank you, Hermione," Luna said with a smile. "Good morning, Harry."

"Good morning, Luna."

"How long have you been up?" Hermione demanded.

"Since you started groping Luna," Harry replied. "Keep the shirt, it looks good on you, Luna."

"Thank you, Harry," Luna said with a pleased smile.

"You know," Hermione said, "if you had a belt, it would look like you were wearing a dress."

"I like things the way they are," Luna replied with a pleased smile. The hem of the shirt was just above her knees.

"So what'd you come visit us for today?" Harry asked.

"Three things," Luna said. "Breakfast, to tell you about the latest news, and a uh… private matter I need to speak with Hermione about."

"Are you blushing?" Hermione asked in shock.

"I'm sure I'm not."

"Harry, why don't you take your shower first while I speak with Luna?"

"Fine," Harry agreed. "I'll be about ten minutes."

"What do you need, Luna?" Hermione asked after their friend had left.

"I need to go to the Healer," Luna whispered.

"Because of that thing on your breast?"

"And some other things," Luna got quieter. "I'd like you to come with me."

"Afraid of Healers?"

"Just nervous about them," Luna said quickly. "You never know what they could do."

"I'll go with you," Hermione assured her friend. "Just make sure you tell me when you're appointment is scheduled for."

"Thank you."

"Any time, Luna," Hermione said gently. "Now what should we make Harry cook?"

"Pancakes?" Luna asked hopefully.

"Again?"

"I like pancakes."

"Agree to putting blueberries in them and it's a deal."

"Ok."

"I'll get started while you get your showers then," Harry said as he walked out of the bathroom.

"You know Hermione," Luna began. "We could save water by…"

"No," Hermione interrupted. "There's plenty of water."

"Ok." Luna wandered into the kitchen and watched Harry work for a few minutes. "What are you doing?"

"Mixing the dry ingredients," Harry replied. "Mostly flour but there are a few other things like sugar, salt, baking powder, that sort of thing."

"Why not just mix everything at the same time?"

"Won't mix right," Harry explained.

"What if you used a charm?"

"Don't know any cooking charms."

"Oh."

"Shower's yours, Luna," Hermione said.

"Ok, thank you."

"When did Luna move in?" Harry asked absently.

"Not sure of the exact moment," Hermione replied. "But it looks like she found another way around the wards."

"Forgot to put 'em up last night."

"Ah, that explains it."

Luna came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her head and sat at the table waiting for her breakfast.

"Aren't you forgetting something Luna?" Hermione sighed.

"No, I washed my hands."

"You're naked again."

"Hmmm, so I am."

"Wrap another towel around your body or put Harry's shirt back on."

"Whatever makes you a happy, Hermione."

"Thank you Luna." Hermione noted with satisfaction that Harry's back had been turned for the exchange.

"You're welcome, Hermione." Luna noted with satisfaction that there was a mirror in front of Harry and he'd seen everything. It was so nice when everyone got what they wanted.

Harry walked to the table juggling three plates and placed them down in front of the girls. "Breakfast is served."

"Thank you, Harry," Luna said with a smile. "They're very good."

"Mmmm blueberries," Hermione groaned in pleasure. "Strawberries next time, ok Harry?"

"Remind me then."

"I will," she agreed.

"What was it you wanted to tell us, Luna?"

"Daddy says that there's an irregularity on Voldemort's petition to run for Minister of Magic," Luna replied. "Apparently he did something weird to it and it might be enough to disqualify him."

"Imagine that," Harry said.

"How interesting," Hermione purred.

"Well, I've got to get home." Luna said as she cast a quick cleaning charm on her dishes. "I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Bye Luna."

"See you tomorrow, Luna."

"Let's go tell the twins," Hermione giggled.

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "It'll be fun." They finished their breakfast and went downstairs to the twins' shop.

"Morning Fred," Harry said smugly.

"Hey George," Hermione added just as smugly.

"Harry-"

"-Hermione-"

"-what can we do for you?"

"It's what we can you do for you," Harry said with a slow grin.

"Why don't you take a look at O'mouldy Volde's paperwork."

"We'll do that," Fred agreed.

"Great," Harry said. "Now if you'll excuse us-"

"-we have to go shopping for bookshelves."

"We do?"

"Yes we do," Hermione said firmly. "Mahogany, with glass doors."

"So… they certainly looked smug didn't they?"

"Drowsy, too."

"Our little Harry got lucky last night," Fred sighed.

"I'm so proud."

IIIIIIIIII

"Was there something I can do for you Mr. Malfoy?" The former Malfoy family solicitor asked with a sigh. "Or did you just call me here to show off your tattoos?"

"I called you here so you could get me the hell out of here," Lucius screamed. He had a tattoo on his forehead proclaiming that he was named bitch number five and another on his lower back telling the world that he was the property of cell block D. He had a rather tastefully done tattoo of a nude woman spread out over his back and a pictorial of a well endowed house elf on his chest. All of his teeth had been knocked out and he had several broken fingers. "Are you too simple to realise that?"

"Uh huh," the solicitor was nonplussed. "And how do expect to pay for this? You do realise that it will be quite expensive don't you?"

"Hang the expense," Lucius growled. "Just go to Narcissa and have her give you whatever you need."

"You weren't told?"

"Weren't told what?"

"Ms. Black left you," the Solicitor said with a smile. "Congratulations, Mr. Malfoy, you're single again."

"Then have the goblins take it out of my account," Lucius demanded.

"I'm afraid that Ms. Black made a rather… large withdrawal before she left you," he sighed dramatically. "So sad."

"The mansion?"

"Sold."

"Then use the proceeds to…"

"By Ms. Black for two knuts," the man interrupted. "And I'm afraid my fee will be significantly higher then that. Now if you'll excuse me, as amusing as this was my time is much too valuable to waste here."

"Wait, come back." Lucius screamed at the back of the retreating Solicitor.

"And that is that," he said with a satisfied grin.

"Just remember our deal," Narcissa said firmly.

"A copy of the memory," the Solicitor agreed. "And forget the fee, that was so enjoyable that I should have paid you. Always hated that fool."

"Lucius did have a knack for that sort of thing didn't he," Narcissa said with a smile. "Good work anyway."

"Thank you, Ms. Black."

IIIIIIIIII

Meanwhile, Fred and George were waiting for the Department of Public Records to open.

"Sure this is a good idea?"

"Harry told us to take a look at his application," Fred said firmly. "And he's never let us down before."

"Good point," George agreed. "But I was referring to the fact that we ditched the girls to come here."

"Oh… that, I'm sure we'll think of something." The door opened magically when the office hours started and the twins walked in and to the desk.

"What can the Department of Public Records do for you, Candidate Weasley?"

"I'd like to see Lord You-Know's application to be on the ballot."

"Very well. Here it is."

Fred and George gave each other a look of pleasure.

"And you're sure that it wasn't modified after it came in?" George asked.

The office worker was insulted. "This is the office of Public Records. We do not allow that!"

"Just wanted to make sure."

"And since we did, we'll need a blank signature form, too."

"But you're already a candidate."

"Yes, but we think someone else wants to enter the race."

AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, and everyone else on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos.