The last thing Remus Lupin needed was this curse. He had to sleep in a room full of girls who stayed up giggling about boys, completely ignoring him for a reason that was later revealed to him by Isabelle.

"They're jealous you got Sirius before anyone else did. And the whole thing about him asking you just kinda blew everyone away and--"

"Peter." Remus crossed his arms, watching in satisfaction as Isabelle visibly blushed and looked away. "What about him?" She muttered almost incoherently.

"You like him."

Isabelle stared in disbelief. "YOU! I... how dare...! I don't..." He was now obviously trying to cover up. She sighed, still burning red.

"Why? He's a little rat! He's obsessed with food and he's not even that good looking!" Remus was surprised at his own ability to belittle people.

Though he knew he was wrong to belittle that particular person for he got ice daggers glared through his skin.

"He's not OBSESSED with food! Cumon, Remus! And... yeah, I know he's a rat and all but... but I'm a freaking Wombat! What can you say? We're both rodents! I get along with him! And... yeah I know he's not like Sirius or whatever but that doesn't mean he's not attractive! I think he's an absolute cutie!" Remus rolled his eyes but stopped mid-roll when he felt a pair of eyes on him. "Someone was listening." He breathed, spinning around but seeing no one. He gulped and flicked his eyes everywhere he could think of. "Isabelle... someone was watching!" This time he said it urgently. Isabelle's eyes widened, clapping a hand over her mouth. "I called you by your name..." She whispered, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry, Cub! Oh gosh!" She rushed from the hallway in which they had been talking. He guessed it wasn't the safest place to talk about this kind of stuff.

Remus watched in desperation as the girl ran. "Damn." He whispered, running away as well.

--

Sirius glared at James, his tan arms crossed stubbornly.

"I'm TELLING you, mate! Cat. Is. Remus!"

Sirius rolled his eyes, allowing them to, again, fall on his best friend in a stern glare.

"Don't be daft, Prongs! Yeah she might have some... similarities with Remus but that doesn't mean they're the same! I mean the golden eyes and the... the soft, beautiful smelling honey-colored hair..." A clouded look possessed Sirius's eyes as he continued to ramble about the 'similarities' with Remus.

"Padfoot..." James started slowly, an eyebrow raised.

"You DO realize we're still talking, partly, about Remus? The way it sounds you're crushing on REMUS not Cat!" James snorted a little at this but was quickly silenced with another intense glare from Sirius.

"I... I DON'T have the fancies for one of my best friends, James!"

James snorted and started to walk towards the door of the dormitory but his sleeve caught on something. He spun around to see Sirius. His face was drooped in dread and his eyes flickering with fear.

"I don't have the fancies for one of my best friends, right, James?" He whispered, almost whimpered, and James almost felt pity for the boy.

"I... I don't think so." He said quietly, tugging his sleeve from Sirius' grip and quickly exiting the dorm before Sirius had any more chances to stop him and whine at him some more. Though he knew he was telling the truth when he had told Sirius that he had heard Isabelle call Cat 'Remus' but now he was sounding a bit daft to himself, which, I tell ya, is not a good sign.

There was only one person he knew would believe him.

Lily.

--

"WHAT?!" Was NOT the answer James had been hoping for.

"Ja-- Potter! First of all, why, in Merlin's name, do you think I would care about your girl troubles. Second of all, why would you even dare THINK of saying Cat's Remus! It's highly impossible! There's no way... no legal way, to transform someone without polyjuice potion and even then Remus would have to take it every hour to keep from turning BACK! Plus... Cat is too... she's... too complicated to be taking polyjuice. There's side-effects that don't wear off such as... as as and intense amount of acne, quavering voice, mood-swings... basically, for a teen, it's just like going through puberty again."

As Lily explained, James nodded slowly before an idea struck him.

"And... what about the illegal spell or spells?" He asked curiously, an eyebrow quirked.

"You... were listening?" Lily stared at the boy in disbelief, only to get a smirk thrown at her.

"I could recite it all while juggling smoke suspended in mid-air by a chain of murlogs." He said smartly.

"Okay... I neither know nor WANT to know what that meant but whatever." Lily held up her hands in defense, her head averted from the boy.

"Anyway... the illegal way... I'm pretty sure it's an illegal spell at least. It was more commonly used b--"

"I don't want to know it's HISTORY, Evans!" James snapped but quickly slapped his hand over his mouth.

"Shorry..." Came the muffled reply.

"Thank you!" Lily shook her head at the boy before a concerned look crossed her face. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?" She asked uncertainly, smiling a little at the male's feverish nods.

"Anyway... yeah. The spell is rather complicated, accompanied by difficult swishes and eye movements. It's Spostamento Figura Omo." She recited proudly.

James nodded, slowly this time with a thoughtful look plastered on his face.

"And... what would the side-affects be, Lily?" He asked, a little more than eager to continue.

"What? Oh! Side-affects are... eh... OH! Again, quavering of the voice but it's accompanied by hormonal stirs, nervous anxiety, frustration and general attraction to the opposite sex." She shrugged, looking a little thoughtful. "Though... I think the whole attraction of the opposite sex thing... that's mainly thrown in for laughs." She shrugged but jumped a little as James kissed her cheek proudly and ran off, smiling like an idiot.

"THANK YOU, LILY!" He called down to her and Lily felt herself blush. "Damn you, James." She whispered, grinning and walking away.

--

A few weeks past and the news of the Christmas Ball flittered through out the school like a million over-excited butterflies. Remus found himself being asked out by a few unexpected men including Severus Snape (he had looked sheepish and a bit surprised he was actually standing in front of her), Regulus Black (who greatly resembled his brother which didn't help when Remus turned him down), And, to his slight disgust, Peter Pettigrew. It felt good to be able to tell anyone who approached that she was going to the dance with him. He enjoyed the jealous glares from the women and the upset looks from the boys. He felt as if he really WAS a girl! He was attracted to most handsome males, he had been feeling a bit twitchy and nervous when alone, frustrated when ignored and a bit turned on when he caught himself thinking about the many times he had watched as Sirius exited the bathroom wearing a towel and ONLY a towel.

And strangely... he quickly gobbled up these thoughts and feelings. He was ENJOYING being a girl!

He found himself being carted off to Hogsmeade one day by Isabelle to pick out a nice gown. They had found one that seemed to be MADE for him. To Isabelle's preference, they only shopped for dressed in a winter palette of colors. Luckily, they found a satiny silver one that seemed to sparkle like fresh snow. It had no shoulders and was kept in place by a series of complicated straps that wrapped around Remus' arms, shoulders and neck. It rode low but just low enough without looking like a slut. The bottom stopped just above his knee and was loose and flowing, flaring out a little when he twirled. Luckily, Isabelle was quite rich and had been more than willing to pay for the dress and silvery-white mary-jane slippers that Remus had said, and I quote, "Were the only ones I'm willing to wear ALL NIGHT! I'd rather dance on fire as Moony with five aurors at my side than have to stand the entire night on pitchfork heels." And Isabelle was fine with that.

Now, on the night of the dance, Remus was fretting.

"Isabelle!" He whined from outside of the door, trying not to ruin his perfect red lipstick by biting his bottom lip too much.

"Yes, Cub?" The muffled voice answered, sounding a bit annoyed.

"What if he doesn't like what he sees?! What if he wants to leave me for some fangirl? What if--"

The door was swung open to reveal Isabelle sporting a beautifully made red cocktail dress that reached to about mid-calf and had a slit up to the middle of her thigh. It was strapless, shoulderless and a bit, Remus hated to admit it, slutty. Her hair was put up messily in a bun atop her head and a pair of red, slick pumps were slipped onto her feet. He had to admit, she looked quite stunning (even though she WAS going with Peter, which Remus just didn't get).

"Look, Remus. I see the way Sirius has been looking at you. The way he subtly flirts with you and pulls you closer and, dang it, this has lasted two weeks. That's a freaking RECORD for Sirius Black. He's not going to give you up tonight." She looked Remus up and down. "Not when you look like THAT!"

Remus flushed, wringing his hands. "It's starting in a half-hour. Better go meet our dates." He muttered, smiling. "Speaking of which... why Peter?"

Isabelle froze. "Well... you know... he's sweet and... caring... kind and--" She was interrupted by a fit of laughter. "Sweet? Sweet-toothed defiantly. Caring? About himself. Kind? Of a freak." Remus heaved out, earning a glare from Isabelle.

"He is NOT a freak!" She darn near shouted and Remus flinched. "Gosh! You're so judgmental!" She huffed and pushed her sandy hair out of her face and waved Remus out of the door.

--

Sirius paced the Common Room as he waited for Cat. He kept pulling at his collar, gulping and then loosening his collar, tightening it. He didn't seem to be able to get himself looking just right, especially next to Cat. He knew she would look absolutely glorious. He just knew it. He knew he'd look like a rag-doll next to her. And when something caught his eye on the stairs, he knew he was right.

She was absolutely... no. There was no words whatsoever to describe Cat Inca. She was stunning, beautiful, glorious, angelic, and basically just drop-dead gorgeous. He felt a small, jealous glare on the back of his neck that, her was sure, came from Peter who had been lounging carelessly in an armchair. He heard the boy scramble to his feet when a not nearly as beautiful Isabelle descended the staircase.

He had to admit she was rather pretty but she really couldn't stand a chance next to HIS Cat.

He walked nervously up to her, offering her his arm. "Shall-shall we go?" He asked cautiously, watching with relief as a sly grin spread over Cat's lips.

"If we must!" She said teasingly and we were off.

--

A lot of dancing, chatting and punch-drinking later, Sirius and Cat had made their way to the balcony. It was small and a rare few knew about it but the view was glorious. The grounds, being Christmas Eve, were littered with a fresh coating of soft snow, sparkling like the fabric of Cat's dress. It was getting darker but the sunset was still peaking from it's bed in the mountains, causing the sky to be painted with beautiful colors, spread artistically through out the sky.

"Having fun so far?" Sirius asked casually leaning against the railing.

He watched as Cat shrugged, equally as casual, but a twinkle in her eyes (that Sirius swore should have been illegal) told him otherwise.

"You... you look absolutely..." Sirius looked the girl up and down, landing on her snow-flushed face. "Wonderful."

He smiled a little as he felt Cat stand next to him, grinning even wider as she pressed her body close to his for warmth. Suddenly, something struck him.

He didn't know how or why he had suddenly pushed himself from the banister and took Cat's shoulders gently, bending down to press his lips softly against hers. Snow had been caught helplessly in the rivers of her bright-red lipstick and felt cold against his unpainted lips.

He felt, joyously, as she quickly responded, wrapping her arms around his neck as he snaked his around her waist, which, for some reason, felt wider. He pulled away when he heard her gasp. "Wha--?" She whispered, looking down at herself. Her eyes widened and started to quickly water.

"Cub?!"

I was going to hate that nick-name forever.

"Cub! I found who was--"

Isabelle stopped dead at the sight, her best friend, now totally male, with his arms around a boy who was as straight as they came in a silvery dress that seemed to be straining against the pressure of his unfit boy body. His hair was still the same but she didn't think that mattered as he already looked much like a crossdresser.

"Oh... Cub." She whispered, a hand covering her mouth as she watched as Remus ran as fast as his legs could carry him.

Then she watched as Sirius rounded on her. "Why did you have to go and make her... er... him... upset and--" He seemed to realize the situation and his eyes widened.

He was in love with Remus?

--AUTHORS NOTES!--

Well! That's a cliffhanger for ya! I think one more chapter would do it... unless I want to do an epilogue or something. -shrugs- But yeah. Told ya Isabelle was going to ruin it.

Isabelle: I did NOT ruin it! I was only trying to help! -whines-

Peter: -pats- It'll be okay, baby.

Isabelle: -hugs- Thank you, my mousey.

O-O ookay... . BUT YEAH! You'll figure out who did this to Remus next CHAAA-AAAPTER :D

REVIEWS OPENLY WELCOMED AND NEEDED! Flames... welcome. I guess. I'll ignore and/or laugh at them so it's a waste of your time but whatever.

I OWN NOTHING... but the plot.