FOUR

She ran through her high school gymnasium, watching in horror as the Wraith attacked and fed on the students and teachers. Blood and screaming. Her screaming. Running down a hallway, lockers embedded into the side of the cave-like walls, the sounds of their deaths echoing in her ears. At the end of the hallway she could see the others – John, Teyla, Rodney, Ronon – waiting for her in the cargo area of the jumper, calling her but she wasn't going to be fast enough. Couldn't run fast enough. The door was closing. They were leaving without her.

She reached out, cried out, begging them to wait for her. Not to leave her behind. She reached the back door but it was sealed shut. Pounded on hit. Smashed it with her fist. Open! Don't leave me! She could feel the Wraith coming… right behind her… A hand clamped onto her shoulder and she opened her mouth…

… and sat straight up in bed, the echoes of her scream dying in her throat. Strange shadows danced across the walls and ceiling, outlining unfamiliar shapes in the room. She looked frantically around through the darkness, scared, confused, not recognizing where she was. She jumped and let out a gasp when hands touched her upper arms.

"Easy, Doc." Ronon's low rumble broke through the confusion as her eyes slowly focused on his. He knelt on the floor beside the bed, gripping her upper arms while she gasped for air.

"Oh God." She whispered, her mind fighting to separate the nightmare from reality. "Ronon. I dreamt… I was dreaming you left me behind." A tremble wracked her body and she let out a shaky breath.

He could feel the mad pounding of her heart through his palms and knew his was beating just as quickly.

She'd scared the hell out of him when she'd jolted up in bed with that strangled cry of 'don't leave me'. He'd fallen asleep sitting in one of the chairs and had snapped awake, reaching for his weapon without even realizing where the noise had come from.

"Oh this is really getting old." She swung her legs off the bed to face him, burying her face against his shoulder. "Just once I'd like to sleep for more than an hour. Just once. Is that too much to ask?"

Ronon wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer her question, so he didn't.

"This happens a lot?" He asked.

Jen nodded against his chest, sliding her arms around his waist. "Since… well… for a couple weeks now."

Ronon didn't need an explanation to know why the nightmares had started. And exactly when. She'd been through a lot – had come close to dying. It would give anyone nightmares.

He moved to sit beside her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly against him. She leaned into his shoulder, and sighed, her voice low and quiet through the darkness.

"I can't sleep anymore. I'm so tired, Ronon. But I just can't sleep. The dreams… they're driving me crazy. They won't go away."

Ronon found himself wishing he knew what to say. He wasn't a man of words. He didn't know how to come up with the right thing. If Teyla were here, she'd offer some sage advice and soothing words. Sheppard would joke his way around it until he had her laughing.

But Ronon didn't know any jokes, and couldn't think of any advice.

So he did the only thing he could. He held her.

Jen closed her eyes. The man was going to think she was some kind of frightened ninny, afraid of a stupid dream. Except she was a frightened ninny who was afraid of a dream. But the dreams were so real. So frequent. She was so tired she knew she wasn't thinking straight, so she gave up and stopped trying to think at all.

He was so warm.

Strong.

Here and now.

The feel of his arms around her was like being wrapped in a protective blanket of incredible warmth and safety.

She sighed, and suddenly thought of nothing more than sleep.

Dropping his cheek against the top of her head, Ronon felt her breathing changing, slowing, finally relaxing. He wasn't sure how he was going to remove himself without waking her up.

So he didn't.

Picking her feet up off the floor, he lay down on his side, tucking her down beside him. Hooking the blanket with his foot he did his best to tuck it around her.

It had been a long time since he'd allowed himself to get this close to a woman.

Too long.

For years he'd told himself, it was how it would always be.

He was a soldier.


A Wraith killer.

A hand of vengeance for Sateda.

He lived alone. He'd die alone.

And now… now he wasn't so sure.

He'd found a place that was the closest thing to a home he'd had since Sateda. His friends had become his family. Teyla. John. Rodney.

He'd fought it, and eventually recognized it for what it was.

He was moving on.

And then… then on top of everything else that was going on with his solitary existence, the petite woman sleeping soundly beside him had somehow wormed her way under his barriers and right into his life, and she did it with backtalk and sass. He'd tried not to think about her while he was on the Daedalus. He'd tried. And failed. And now he knew why.

With a shock of realization, Ronon's mind finally admitted what his heart had been trying to tell him for weeks.

He needed her.

Wanted her.

Missed her.

She wasn't afraid of him. She wasn't afraid to be near him. To touch him. To let him touch her. She didn't cower when he growled. She ignored his best practiced don't-mess-with-me stare. She didn't put up with his attitude, and wouldn't let him get away with anything. She made him smile with her pushy assessments. Made him laugh with her flustered reactions when he came too close. She made him feel more alive than he had in… a lifetime.

Dr. Jennifer Keller stood up to him, feed him back his own bullshit, and made him feel like he was worth something.

As if her sleeping mind knew what he was thinking, she let out a soft sigh and slid her fingers up to the middle of his chest, flattening her palm over his heart.

Ronon placed his hand over hers and pressed it closer, the feel of her cool, smooth skin against his making his heart skip a beat. She was so petite and soft. She smelled of sunshine and fresh air. She was brave and courageous, and would stop at nothing to help someone in need. And she stood up to him.

Ronon silently voiced a solemn promise that nothing - no one - was going to take her away from him so long as he had a breath in his body.

She was his.

Whether she knew it yet, or not.

He smiled up into the darkness, and slowly closed his eyes.