Disclaimer: Gambling is wrong . . . or so they say, I have a differing opinion.

All things in moderation, including moderation. -Samuel Clemens

Naughty Nurse Luna

Hermione awoke with a smile. "Good morning Luna."

"Good morning Hermione," Luna's voice came from the other side of the bed. "I think there's something wrong with Harry."

"What is it?" Hermione's eyes shot open.

"His skin is cold and clammy," Luna replied. "And he's shivering."

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"I just got here."

"Oh . . ." Hermione reached over to lay a hand on her friend's brow. "I'm gonna go get Madame Pomfrey, you sit with him until I get back."

"Yes Hermione," Luna agreed. "You know, I've heard that body heat is the best way to warm someone up," she added hopefully.

"Just don't take advantage of him while I'm gone," Hermione said over her shoulder as she rushed out.

"Does this mean I can take advantage of him while you're here?" Luna asked the empty room in delight. "Deal."

IIIIIIIIII

Deputy Headmistress McGonagall was enjoying a quiet morning in her quarters when the flames in her fireplace turned green and a distraught Hermione tumbled into the room.

"Yes?"

"Harry's sick," Hermione said quickly. "I need Madame Pomfrey right now."

"Calm yourself Ms. Gra . . . Hermione," McGonagall soothed. "I'll be right back with her, in the mean time I suggest you transfigure yourself something a bit more concealing."

"Just hurry," Hermione demanded.

"Children now these days," McGonagall muttered to herself as she left the room. "In my day we didn't go to pieces over every little thing." She walked up the hall and knocked on her colleague's door. "Poppy, are you decent?"

"Come in Minerva," the other woman's voice replied.

"Thank you Poppy," Minerva said with a smile. "I'm afraid Mr. Potter has come down with something."

"And his girl is here demanding I go with her?" Poppy said with a nod. "She always did spend a lot of time worrying about him."

"Needs to learn to relax," Minerva agreed.

"Quite." Poppy refrained from mentioning the humor she found in that statement. "Let's go deal with this." She grabbed her bag and followed the other Professor out of the room.

As soon as they returned to Professor McGonagall's rooms, Hermione grabbed the nurse by the arm and dragged her through the floo back to her apartment.

"Harry's through here," Hermione said.

"Um . . . hello Ms. Lovegood," the nurse stammered in shock.

"Hello Madame Pomfrey," Luna replied. "How are you this morning?"

"Very well . . . uh . . . is there a reason you're in bed with Mr. Potter?"

"He was cold," Luna explained. "And I've read that body heat was the best way to warm someone up."

"Where did you read that?"

"In one of Hermione's muggle medical books," Luna replied.

"Yes . . . well . . . very good then, why don't you get out of bed and wait in the other room with Ms. Granger while I examine Mr. Potter?"

"Ok," Luna agreed. "Come on Hermione."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "He'll be alright won't he?"

"It's nothing serious," Pomfrey said gently. "Don't worry."

The two girls returned to the sitting room to find Professor McGonagall waiting with her arms crossed. "So this is where the two of you ran off to hmmm?"

"Hello Professor McGonagall," Luna chirped. "How are you doing today?"

"Quite well," Minerva replied. "Yourself?"

"Hermione says I can take advantage of Harry when she's here to supervise," Luna said with a happy smile. "So I guess I'm doing fairly well."

"I didn't say that," Hermione said in outrage.

"You said I couldn't do it when you weren't here," Luna retorted. "So the implication is that I am permitted to do it when you are here."

"No it isn't."

"Professor McGonagall?" Luna turned to the older woman. "Please tell Hermione that she's being unreasonable."

"I'm not getting involved with this dispute," Minerva said firmly. Mostly because it could sour several bets she had running, but she saw no need to share that bit of information. "I'm afraid that you're just going to have to work this out between yourselves."

"I'm finished," Poppy announced as she walked into the conversation. "And I want both of you to drink this potion."

"What is it?"

"It should boost your immunity," Poppy explained. "Hopefully enough to prevent catching Mr. Potter's bug."

The two girls downed their potions and Hermione bit her lower lip as she looked at the school healer. "Do I need to check Harry into St. Mungos?"

"Heavens no. As I said before, it's nothing serious. Now I'm going to leave some potions here to treat the symptoms, other then that just make sure he gets plenty of fluids and rest. Maybe make up a batch of chicken soup or oxtail. For solid foods, I'd advise you to stick to bread until you're sure that he's keeping everything down."

"What if he's not hungry?" Luna asked.

"Try to get him to eat something," Poppy replied. "And be sure he doesn't dehydrate."

"I think we can do that," Hermione said slowly. "What kinds of potions?"

"I've got freshly brewed anti nausea and headache potions," Luna volunteered.

"In that case, I'll just leave something to take care of the chills and another to take care of a fever in case he develops one . . . might as well add something to help him sleeep should that be necessary too."

"Thank you Madame Pomfrey."

"And I am going to leave you the title of a book on useful household potions," Professor McGonagall said sternly. "Ones that I advise you to keep on hand."

"Yes Professor."

"Ms. Gra . . . Hermione," Professor McGonagall began. "While I am quite pleased that you and Mr. Potter feel that you can come to me in an emergency, I would like to make clear that you may also approach me when things aren't so dire. Do you understand?"

"Yes Professor," Hermione agreed. "Perhaps you'd like to come over for tea after Harry recovers?"

"I would like that very much. Good day Ms. Lovegood, Hermione."

"Good day Professors," the girls replied.

Hermione watched the two women disappear into the floo and turned to Luna with a serious look on her face. "I've got to go out, could you watch Harry while I'm gone again?"

"Yes Hermione," Luna agreed. "And I won't take advantage of him until you get back."

"I . . . we'll discuss it later," Hermione said firmly. She stepped out into the Hall and ran into the building's other tenant.

"Watcher Hermione?"

"Hey Tonks," Hermione said absently. "I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't talk right now."

"What's wrong?"

"Harry got sick after they kept him out all night," Hermione replied. "I gotta go talk to my mum to find out how to make soup . . . unless you cook?"

"Sorry," Tonks said with a shrug. "Um . . . do you mind if I use your face later?"

"Why?"

"Just wanted to show Kingsley what a bad idea it was to keep Harry out so long."

"I should be back within the hour," Hermione said happily. "If that's not good enough, Luna is in my apartment looking after Harry and I'm sure she'd be willing to help."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Hermione walked to the edge of the anti transport wards Harry had set up and apparated to her parent's office.

"Hermione?" The receptionist asked. "When did you get here?"

"I just came in," Hermione said quickly. "I need to speak with mum right away."

"She's in her office," the receptionist said to the girl's back. "Never even saw her come in," she muttered to herself. "Maybe I need more sleep."

Hermione returned a few minutes later clutching a piece of paper like her life depended on it. "Bye Janice," Hermione called over her shoulder as she left the office.

"Good bye Hermione," the woman replied.

"Thank you Janice," Jill Granger said with a warm smile. "And I apologize for her abruptness."

"What's wrong?" The receptionist asked with a worried frown. "I've never seen her so worked up."

"Her boyfriend has a cold and she thinks that it's the end of the world," Jill lauged. "She came to me because she needed to know how to make chicken soup."

"Ah."

IIIIIIIIII

Hermione returned to find Luna sitting at Harry's side dressed in a white one piece nurse uniform. A very small white one piece nurse uniform, one that had a hem several inches higher then decent and several buttons that strained in a loosing battle against a bosom that yearned to burst free. So far as Hermione was concerned, the only acceptable thing about Luna's outfit was the white hat with the little red cross in the center, even then she had her doubts and cast more then one suspicions glance at the object.

"What are you wearing?" Hermione squeaked.

"One of the costumes we got at that shop the other day," Luna replied innocently. "So that when Harry wakes up he'll know that he's in good hands. I even got some lotion so that my hands would be nice and soft."

"You're not going to need any lotion," Hermione said firmly. "Understand?"

"Well . . . ok but . . ."

"No," Hermione said firmly. "Remember our deal."

"So you didn't?"

"He fell asleep first," Hermione admitted with a blush.

"Oh . . . I'm sorry Hermione," Luna said with genuine regret. "Here, let's get a bit of lotion on your hands."

"Not right now Luna."

"Ok Hermione," Luna agreed. "Would you like to help me with Harry's sponge bath?"

"Sponge bath?"

"He spent the night sweating," Luna explained. "And he smells like he missed his shower yesterday."

"Um . . ." Hermione seemed frozen. "Ok, but no funny business."

"Of course not Hermione," Luna agreed.

"Fine," Hermione agreed after a moment of thought. "So long as you behave yourself."

"I promise," Luna said with her hand on her heart.

"I'll be in the kitchen making Harry's soup," Hermione said reluctantly. "Call me if he wakes up ok?"

"Ok." Luna moistened a washcloth and eagerly set to work, washing his chest, his arms, his . . . "I think you need to be rubbed quite a bit before you get clean," Luna said impishly. She raised her head to check that the other girl was still in the kitchen. "But I did promise . . . bugger." Luna sighed in frustration and moved her hands away from object that held so much of her attention lately, there'd be plenty of time for that later and she really did want this relationship to work out.

"Luna?" Harry rasped. "Why is your hand on my . . ."

"I'm giving you a sponge bath," Luna said calmly. "Because you're sick."

"Oh . . . well you can stop, I can bathe myself."

"No you can't," Luna said firmly.

"I'm fine," Harry protested. "Now let me up."

"HERMIONE," Luna yelled.

"What is it?" Hermione demanded as she rushed in. "Harry."

"Morning," he said.

"He's trying to get up," Luna tattled.

"I'm fine," Harry said in exasperation. "I've just got a little cold, it's really nothing to worry about."

"Stay in bed Harry," Hermione begged. "Please?"

"Puppy eyes aren't going to work on me," Harry said with a smile.

Hermione unbuttoned the top two buttons on her blouse and bit her lower lip. "Please Harry."

"No damn it."

"Luna."

"Yes Hermione," Luna agreed. She leaned forward with teary eyes. "But we're just worried about you."

"Please Harry," Hermione asked. "For us?"

"I hate you both," Harry growled as he flopped back onto the bed. "But just for the next few hours, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"Thank you Harry," Hermione said smugly.

"Can I go back to giving him a sponge bath then?" Luna asked with undisguised eagerness.

"Make it quick," Hermione agreed. "My soup's almost done and I need you to feed it to him while I'm out running errands."

"Ok," Luna chirped.

"I'm right here you know," Harry growled. "No need to talk about me like I'm not in the room."

"Back to the sponge bath," Luna said happily.

"I can do that myself Luna," Harry sighed.

"I understand," Luna said with a nod.

"You do?"

"You're just embarrassed by the fact that you're naked and I'm still wearing clothes," Luna explained. "Would it help if I took mine off?"

"It might," Harry blurted before he had a chance to think.

"Ok."

"But before you do, I'm gonna need a bag of ice."

"Whatever you want Harry."

AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, Brian Arcis, Fenris, Pelel, and everyone else on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes.