Me: I own Death Note.
Light: You wish! Someone like you could never write such an awesome story!
Me: Better watch out Light. I do have control over you in this fanfic…
Light: -mumbles-That's what you think… We're going to defeat you!
L: -sigh- Cannibal, just get this over with.
Me: Okay, okay… I don't own Death Note.
Light: I knew it! She's an imposter! The real author would never screw with us like this! Wait… what ever happened to Ohba…?
Me: -evil laughter-
L: … -pause- The possibility of Cannibal being Kira is up by five percent.
"Ryuzaki, can we get rid of these handcuffs?" Light asked, raising his arm and jingling the chain that hung from it. "It would this a lot easier if we weren't forced to constantly be together."
"Absolutely not," L replied, popping a grape in his mouth. He chewed for a moment, then swallowed. "Don't forget the reason that we're handcuffed together, Light. You could be Kira. If I were to remove the handcuffs because you told me to, then it would defeat the purpose."
"But the situation is different now," Light protested. "We're not just fighting against Kira anymore. There is a perverted fangirl that is controlling us! If we're chained together like this, it will give her countless opportunities to mess with us."
L looked at Light for a moment, unblinking. "She has countless opportunities to do that as it is. I don't see how the handcuffs affect this at all." He looked down at the grapes again, putting a few in his mouth.
"I need to go to the bathroom," Light confessed, glaring at L. The infamous evil look flickered through his eyes briefly. "Do you know how awkward this is going to be when a yaoi fangirl could take over our bodies at any minute?"
You look so sexy when you have that evil look it your eyes. L smiled. "I have to go, too. Instead of fearing this situation, I think we should use it as an opportunity to show our enemy that we are stronger than she thinks we are."
But, can we really beat her? How do I know that he's not being controlled right now? Light smiled. "Fine. But if something bad happens, then will you remove the chains?"
"If my theory is wrong, then yes," L replied, walking towards the men's room. But my theories are never wrong.
No, I'm not going to look. Light frowned. The sound of flowing liquid assaulted his ears, and he could feel an unseen power trying to turn his head to catch a glimpse of the man beside him. He gritted his teeth, fighting it.
L could feel the same force, although his expression did not betray it. This is harder than I thought. But so far, my theory is correct.
Before Light could stop it, his eyes had drifted towards L. His face paled as he forced himself to look away. Damn, she got me!
"You looked, didn't you?" L said calmly as they exited the bathroom.
A drop of sweat visibly formed on Light's face. "I couldn't help it. She made me do it. I tried to fight it, but she's just too strong for us, L. Wait... How did you know?"
"You look completely horrified," L smiled. Come to think of it, I've never seen his face show so much emotion before. The possibility of Light being Kira has just gone down by two percent. Kira wouldn't be this easy to read.
Light rolled his eyes. "Right… So, does that mean we can ditch the handcuffs?"
"No," L replied. "My theory was not proven wrong. It seems that we can fight against her. Only one of us gave in, and it could have been a lot worse."
"Wait, are you saying that you didn't look?" Light muttered. L simply bit his thumb in his usual way and smiled. The evil look tried to take over Light's eyes again, but he managed to hide it. Damn, this makes me look bad. She's probably trying to make me look bad. I wonder who she's a fan of, me or L? Probably L. After all, I'm just an ordinary high school student suspected of murder. No where near as exciting as the world's greatest detective...
"Well, can we at least call this a day and get some sleep? It's late. I'm sure that I'll be able to think up a solution in the morning, after I've slept on it for awhile" Light asked.
"Yes, that's probably a good idea, Light," L said. He hopped down from the chair that he was crouching on and stood beside Light, putting his hand on his shoulder. He whispered into the younger man's ear softly, "Don't worry, I have a plan."
A plan…? Light followed L into the bedroom. They sat down on the bed, eyeing each other curiously. After a moment, L placed something in Light's hand. "Here, take this."
"What is it?" Light asked skeptically, eyeing the oblong pill that L had given to him. How can he expect me to not be suspicious about some unknown drug that he's having me take? For all I know, it could be…
"Sleeping pills," L said, holding an amber bottle in front of Light in his usual odd manner of holding objects. "I'm an insomniac, you see. I take them sometimes when it's absolutely necessary for this physical body to sleep."
The two exchanged a triumphant grin after they had both swallowed one.
If we're unconscious the entire night, she won't be able to control us during that time, Light thought. You're a genius as always, L. It almost seems too easy, though…
Well, there is a forty-two percent possibility that it will not work, but there's not much else we can do right now, L mused. If you are Kira, then you will try to use this situation to your advantage. Actually, you would probably secretly want me to keep you handcuffed to me through this, to prove your innocence. Well, then, if that's the way you want to play…
The first thing that Light noticed when he woke up was that something was tickling his face. It was light and gentle, like a feather, or…
"Damn, Ryuzaki!" Light jumped out of the bed, mortified to see that L had been practically lying on top of him, his head resting on the younger man's shoulder. It had been his hair that Light had felt on his face.
"Oh, sorry Light," L replied groggily, the sleeping pill taking a few more seconds to wear off.
"Okay, that's it. I refuse to be chained to you anymore!" Light exclaimed, jerking the detective out of bed with the handcuff. "This thing is too much of a risk. I'll keep dragging you around by this chain if you don't agree to remove it!"
"If that's what you wish, Light," L replied, pulling out a small key from his pocket. He quickly undid the lock on both sides of the handcuff.
"Well, this will make things easier," Light said, massaging his wrists. What made you change your mind? Could it be that even the greatest detective in the world is no match for one crazy fangirl?
"Yes, I believe you are right. I suppose I was just being childish and stubborn," L replied, although he was not looking at Light. He seemed to be thinking of something else. My plan worked. The odds of Light Yagami being Kira have gone down by three percent.
A/N: Yeah… Kinda hard to tell who's winning... For the record, L won that chapter. …I think. xD
I'm not sure if the fanservice in this chapter will make people like or hate this fanfic more. xD