Disclaimer: Luna's lines are completely free of innuendo and double meanings . . . trust me.

Spells

Harry and Hermione returned to their apartment after the ceremony to find Luna waiting for them.

"I set up the table," she said as they came in. "But I didn't start dinner since all I can make is burnt pancakes and those aren't nearly as good as your food Harry."

"Thank you Luna," Harry said with a smile.

"It was no problem Harry," Luna replied basking under his attention. "I am always happy to help."

Luna followed Harry into the kitchen and watched as he prepaired everything. "May I help you cook Harry?"

"Sure," Harry agreed. "Why don't you toss the salad while I . . ."

"I'd rather not," Luna interrupted. "I will if you really want me to but can't I do something else?"

"Uh . . . sure," Harry agreed slowly as he shot the odd girl an odd look. "I'll take care of the salad, you stir the soup."

"Ok Harry," Luna chirped.

At Harry's inquisitive look, Hermione just shrugged in confusion. She didn't have a clue what the other girl was talking about either.

IIIIIIIIII

"Whocha, Bob."

"Hiya, Tonks."

They were still at the bar. About half the Auror's had gone and the party was winding down.

"You've known Tim a lot longer than I have." Bob nodded in reply, and made a "go on" gesture.

"Tim's been a little depressed lately. I finally got him to open up and admit what the problem is, but I just don't think I'm the one who should talk to him about it."

"I thought he looked a bit pink. So what's been bothering him?"

"You know that he's been hanging out with a group of gals. . . ."

"Willing girls. Every bachelor's dream." Tonks glared at him. "Sorry," Bob said, "please go on."

"Anyway, from what I can understand, it's all physical. I think he's looking for a real relationship."

Bob nodded. "He was in a fairly long term relationship with the Hogwarts squid. This has been his rebound, and it doesn't surprise me that he wants something more substantial. I'll go talk to him."

"Thanks, Bob."

Bob went over to the tentacle monster.

"Tim," he said, "A great man once said that sex without love was an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. But take it from an old married man, you get tired of empty experiences. If you've reached the point where you're looking for something better, you'll have to give up the girls, and give yourself to just one girl wholeheartedly."

Tim gestured with several of his tentacles.

Bob nodded and said, "Then you will probably have to find someplace else to live. After all, isn't that what you want anyway? To settle down with one woman, er, female, and live together in love? No, I'm not saying move out tonight! After all, you don't have a significant other yet, right?" Bob noticed that four of Tim's eyes swiveled to look at the pink haired Auror just coming out of the woman's room.

IIIIIIIIII

"Thought she'd never leave," Hermione purred as she leaned in to kiss Harry. "Shall we start up where we left off?"

"I think we should," Harry agreed as he pulled her close.

"Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter are you there?"

"Bloody floo," Hermione growled. "Who is it?"

"Professor McGonagall," the old woman replied. "Did I call at a bad time?"

"What is it Professor?" She sighed.

"Albus has something he'd like to share with the two of you and he claims that it's a matter of some importance," Minerva said nervously. "You're sure this isn't a bad time?"

"We'll be right there," Harry said reluctantly. "Could you move out of the way?"

The frustrated couple walked through the floo connection and met their Head of House on the other side of the connection.

"I really am sorry for disturbing the two of you like this," Minerva said quickly. "And I wouldn't have done it if not for the fact that Poppy believes that this could be important for Albus's . . . recovery from what happened to him."

"What do you need Professor?" Hermione asked through clenched teeth.

"Just listen to Albus's presentation," Minerva begged. "And make the right sorts of noises while he does it."

"Presentation?"

"Regarding the thing with the Lemon Drops," she explained.

"You can count on us Professor," Harry sighed. "Let's go."

"Thank you." They followed the old woman into the Headmaster's office to find Dumbledore sitting behind his desk with a look of joy on his face.

"Thank you both for coming," he said. "And gather round."

Humoring the poor traumatised old fool, they lined up to inspect the object in his hands.

"Here it is," Dumbledore said in an awe filled voice. "The product of my research . . . the prototype."

"Wow," Harry said mustering up as much enthusiasm as he could.

"Ooooh yessss," Hermione agreed. Imagoning the activities she planned to engage in with Harry later that night lent a little more enthusiasm to her remark.

"My research isn't anywhere close to being complete," Dumbledore continued in a hushed voice. "But I think this gives you an idea of what we can expect for the future."

"How long before you can get the finished model?"

"No telling," Dumbledore replied quickly. "But I hope to have a weaponized lemon drop ready for testing soon after the sorting ceremony."

"That soon?"

"I've been putting quite a bit of time into this project," Dumbledore explained. "As well as another project."

"What other project?" Minerva asked sharply. "Albus you know how important creating the perfect lemon drop is to the war effort."

"That I do Minerva," he agreed. His eyes holding a hint of their old twinkle. "But I'm afraid the three of you overlooked a rather important thing."

"What's that Albus?"

"That the most powerful lemon drops in the world will do nothing if we can't find a way to get Voldemort to eat them," the Headmaster finished with a proud smile. "That is why I've been hard at work developing a subtile compulsion charm that we can put on a bowl full of our little citrus filled darlings. The most difficult portion of this of course is finding a way around his formidable mental shields."

"May I take a look at your notes?" Hermione asked eagerly.

"I'll be sure to send them along after I've had a chance to get some real work done," Dumbledore agreed. "Right now I've just got the concept and a couple loose ideas."

"You've outdone yourself Albus," Minerva said with a restrained smile. She allowed herself a brief moment of hope that her old friend was regaining a bit of himself. "And it gives me an idea for the future. After all, the war won't last forever."

"What's that Minerva?"

"It occurs to me that we have or had rather one of the foremost researchers of our time spending his time boggled down in the details needed to run this school." It also gave her a way to keep the poor senile fool occupied after he'd completed the busy work they'd given him. "Now I'm not saying that you should give up your position. After all, if our recent experiences have taught us anything it's that delegation can give us all plenty of time to pursue our own interests."

"Go on," Dumbledore said cautiously.

"Mrs. Potter," Minerva began. "You know a bit about pureblood customs and ideals do you not?"

"Just a bit," Hermione agreed with a glance at Harry. "I've made a few . . . miscalculations in the past but they've all ended up being for the best."

"What is one of the primary reasons Purebloods look down on muggle born and half bloods?" Minerva asked. "What is the only real advantage that pureblood families have?"

"The spells," Hermione replied after a moment of thought.

"Exactly," Minerva said with a look of triumph. "A large portion of the available magical knowledge is locked up in family vaults. Much of what we teach here are spells that have been in use so long that they became common knowledge."

"What are you proposing?"

"That you devote your time to researching new spells," Minerva explained. "And rather then keeping them locked away, you donate them to the school."

"You could have all the Professors do it if you hired on more assistants," Hermione suggested. "We could change Hogwarts into a research institution," her voice raised in excitement. "Give classes on spell creation with the understanding that the assignments would be retained by the school if they were good enough."

"I could donate a few Potter spells," Harry said mildly. "Not many I'm afraid but a few."

"And I could donate a few of mine," Hermione agreed. "What do you think Headmaster?"

"I think that it's time for me to crack open a bottle Armagnac that I've been saving for an occasion like this," he said with a tear in his eye. "Would you all please join me in a toast?"

"Of course Albus," Minerva agreed. She turned to her two students and regarded them with a stern look. "You're both adults in every way that counts so I'm going to treat you like adults, please don't let this get to your more . . . impressionable classmates."

"We won't Professor," Hermione agreed.

Dumbledore distributed the glasses and held his up. "To the future, may our plan succeed and may England prosper."

"The future," the chorused.

Dumbledore refreshed their glasses and turned to Minerva. "Would you care to make the next one?"

"To Gryffindor," she said smugly. "The House that produced the current Minister."

"To Gryffindor," they all agreed.

Dumbledore once again refreshed their glasses and gave Harry a hopeful look.

"To the Fox and the Hound my noble foes," Harry said with a smirk. "You can't run from me forever."

"To noble foes."

"Gimme s'more of ssdat plese," Hermione slurred.

"Of course," Albus agreed.

"Ta in'fr'mation," Hermione muttered. "Wr gonna set ouuu free."

"Setting information free."

"I think we'd better be getting home," Harry said with a smile. "Good to see you two. Come on Hermione," he said with a grin. "Let's get you to bed."

"M'ok," she agreed with a giggle. "B't on'y if ouuu c'm with me."

"Bye Professors," Harry called over his shoulder as he dragged the girl into the floo.

"Wouldn't have thought it would take so little," Minerva said absently. "With all those trips to France, I'd have sworn that her curiosity would have encouraged her to . . . I guess it doesn't matter."

IIIIIIIIII

"Come on you lazy witch," Harry said fondly as he carried Hermione into their bedroom. "Let's get you ready for bed."

"Harry," Hermione said with a naughty smile. "Remember what we were doing before we got interrupted?"

"Want to continue then?" He leered.

In response she laid across his lap and smiled up at him. "I've been a very bad girl Harry."

"Is that so?"

The only response he got was a soft snore.

"Well," Harry looked down at the sleeping girl with a smile. "I suppose turn about is fair play, and it's not like another day or two will make much of a difference." With that, he shut off the lights and closed his eyes.

AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, Brian Arcis, Fenris, Pelel, and everyone else on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes.

Omake by migeleelrubio: A Drinking Experience

The Aurors were drinking and talking, or more like drinking and
commenting.

"For his size he sure is a lightweight."

"It doesn't seem to stop him at all, you know."

Tonks muttered under her breath "One Firewhiskey"

"Look he found another one."

"Looks like I win."

"Hey it still isn't midnight."

"One Firewhiskey and he is sloshed." Tonks stared at Tim and wondered
what she was supposed to do."

In a booth Tim was sprawled across four women who were petting him
and cooing over the hoplessly relaxed tentacle monster.

The door opening caught the aurors interesst as there was heavy
betting on how many girl he would get into his booth.

"Tim! Are you alright?" Gretchen called out as she saw him.

A tentacle wobbled her way.

"Oh you poor thing."

Most aurors stared as Dark Bunny Gretchen came over and inspected the
bandage.

"The girls decided to throw a party for you but as I see you are
already enjoying yourself." Gretchen wondered. "How about we take
them with us?"

The Auror who told that Tim would get more then ten girls grinned.
"Pay up guys, I win the pot."

Tonks hung her head. "Why me?"