Disclaimer: Like I said, be careful.
Ear Plugs
Remus lowered the newspaper he was reading at Narcissa's dinner table. He smiled at the blonde woman before him, who looked a bit tense.
"Cissa? You okay?" He asked. Narcissa smiled sheepishly. Remus frowned and got up, going around and hugging her.
"Something wrong?"
"Possibly," she said quietly. She cleared her throat. The werewolf sniffed her, trying to pick up anything that might explain...
"Oh. Oh dear," Remus began calmly, though his eyes were wide. Narcissa blushed.
"Er... It seems that those contraception spells don't work as well as they used to," she offered.
"I'm going to be a..." Remus' eyes rolled in the back of his head and he fainted, collapsing to the kitchen floor. Draco looked in.
"Mum, you killed him?" He asked hopefully. Narcissa frowned.
"I better not have. I'll not have your new sibling growing up without a father."
THUMP!
Narcissa rolled her eyes. Her son was such a pansy.
IIIIIIIIII
"Auror Tonks . . . Auror Tonks . . .TONKS."
"Wha . . . sorry about that chief."
"Is there a reason you've been nodding off?"
"Harry and Hermione forgot to put silencing charms up," Tonks explained. "And the wards won't let me put my own up."
"I see . . . still, one night without sleep should . . ."
"One night?" Tonks laughed. "Try the last three days straight."
"No breaks?"
"None longer then an hour . . . I'm still trying to figure out when and if they sleep."
"I see . . . carry on Auror."
"Thanks chief."
"And feel free to catch a nap in one of the interrogation rooms," Amelia added. "The third one has a rather comfortable couch and it's sound proof."
"Got it chief."
"Three days huh?" Amelia whispered to herself. "Lucky girl."
IIIIIIIIII
"You son of a-! I should skewer you-! I'll burn you to-!" Draco sputtered, as Remus sat next to Cissa at the table.
"Draco, like it or not but I helped create this life, and I'm staying to help look after it," Remus stated firmly. He squeezed Narcissa's hand under the table and the blonde smiled warmly at him.
Draco stood up and stomped off.
"If anyone needs me, I'll be at Aunt Andromeda's!" He snarled, vanishing into the floo. Narcissa shrugged, and pulled Remus in for a kiss.
"Want to celebrate?" She asked seductively. Remus growled with a feral grin as he picked her up and set her on the table.
"Bloody hell yes. You have any idea of the pheromones you're giving off now?"
"I have an inkling. M..."
IIIIIIIIII
The Dark Frat Boys huddled around the large keg that had been delivered just minutes before by over a dozen owls. Not bothering to look at the invoice, they quickly opened the tap.
As the screams of pain started, the invoice floated to the floor, along with a copy of their original order for an 'Ever-full Bear Keg'.
IIIIIIIIII
"HE BLOODY KNOCKED HER UP! I'LL KILL THAT BSTARD! NO, I'LL RIP HIS LUNGS OUT FIRST! WITH A SILVER SPOON, YEAH!"
Andromeda calmly sipped her tea as Draco ranted. She shrugged.
"Look on the bright side Draco; You're going to have a little brother or sister."
"And what the hell is good about that?!" Draco demanded. Andromeda sighed.
"Fine. But if you're going to stay here, you need to get a job."
"A job?!" Draco screeched. Andromeda shrugged.
"Unless you'd like to try and stay with your Aunt Bellatrix?"
"No, no... Fine, I'll get a bloody job," Draco grumbled. "After all, it's not like feeble Muggle work will be hard. I'll be rich in no time!"
"That's the spirit," Andromeda cheered. "I knew you were a Black and not someone from a lesser family that would be discouraged by such a small thing."
IIIIIIIIII
"It's no bloody use," Dean said to himself. "I can't help it that I'm so damn sexy and there's no way to change my sexiness to attract younger women . . . it's my curse and there's nothing I can do about it."
Dean sighed and began pacing. "Nothing to do but stay home, keep myself away from society . . . unless." A smile bloomed on his face, he knew what he had to do."
IIIIIIIIII
"What do you mean I can't be the Lord Mayor of London?" Draco demanded.
"I'm afraid that we already have a mayor," the long suffering secretary sighed.
"Then tell the fool that he's fired," Draco said with a wave. "I'll give him five minutes to clear out his things, I'm not a cruel tyrant . . . but be sure he knows that if a single thing is missing or if he leaves the office a mess then I shall have him soundly thrashed."
"Security."
IIIIIIIIII
"Harry," Hermione moaned. "Do you know what I want to do now?"
"Flip to the next chapter of that book Ron gave me?" Harry asked.
"That." She gasped. "That too."
"What then?"
"I was hoping that we could take an hour or two to rob the Dolohov famil," Hermione said. "It . . . it . . . it occurs to me that we haven't pulled a job for a while."
"And you're annoyed about the little scar he gave you," Harry said as he traced it. "Hmmmmm?"
"Just a bit," Hermione admitted.
"Ok," he agreed with a kiss. "In a bit, there's something I want to do first."
"What's that?"
"Chapter four," he said with a grin.
"What's on chapter four Harrieeeeeeee."
IIIIIIIIII
"Draco," Andromeda began. "You can't just be appointed Lord Mayor."
"Why not?" Draco demanded arrogantly. "I'm like a god to these people, they should recognise that fact and treat me in the manner I deserve."
"Still, the position of Lord Mayor isn't something you can just become one day."
"It isn't?"
"No it isn't," Andromeda said gently. He may be an idiot but he was family, damn that Malfoy DNA mucking up his Black heritage. "Perhaps you should start in an entry level job, something that takes advantage of your skill set and natural abilities."
"Like what?"
"Well . . ."
IIIIIIIIII
"Hurry up," Harry whispered to his friend. "I don't want to waste more time on this then we have to." The two of them were bounding across the rooftops on their way to the next job.
"Can't wait to have round two?" Hermione asked with a sultry smile.
"Think we're up to round thirty," Harry mused. "Come on." He landed on the roof of the Dolohov family town house and tore through the wards without any of his usual finess.
"Right behind you lover boy," Hermione agreed.
IIIIIIIIII
Tonks stumbled into her apartment and crawled towards her bed. She'd just had the misfortune of working a double shift and she couldn't wait to close her eyes and get a few dozen hours of restful, blissful sleep.
"Something's wrong," she muttered to herself sleepily. "It's . . . it's quiet, they've finally stopped oh happy day. With a sigh of contentment, Tonks closed her eyes and fell asleep.
IIIIIIIIII
"Fox," Harry called out. "Cast the Dark Mark while I take care of this safe."
"Right," Hermione agreed.
"Remember," Harry purred. "The sooner we get done here, the sooner I can try out chapters five through nine on your tight little body."
Hermione shuddered and a look of antisipation bloomed on her face. "Hurry Harry." She lifted her wand and quickly cast the Dark Mark. Unfortunately as she incanted, the one thought that had been occupying the majority of Hermione's time . . . corrupted the Dark Mark. "Done," she said quickly. "I'm done, can we go now?"
"We can go," Harry agreed. "Come on."
"Right," she agreed. The two of them left the room at a run without a backward glance.
IIIIIIIIII
"What are you doing crabapple?"
"I'm making a silk rope father," Luna replied.
"Finally wormed your way into your relationship then ragweed?" He asked with a smile.
"Not yet father," Luna said. "It's not my turn yet."
"And you want the rope for your turn then cottonseed?"
"I'll need it for my turn father," Luna said. "I'm making a ball gag next."
"Be sure to line the inside with silk cannabis," her father said sternly. "Remember, if you don't make it a fun experience then they won't want to do it again."
"Unless they're into that sort of thing."
"Are they chicory?"
"No father," Luna said cheerfully. "May I use the Dragon hide scraps you had left over from making your Dragon hide underwear?"
"Long underwear dandelion," he admonished.
"Of course father," she agreed.
"And yes you may use the scraps mugwort."
"Thank you father."
"And don't forget to reinforce the bed frame before you start things off birch," he said sternly. "There's nothing your mother hated more then accidentally bending the bed frame in the heat of the moment."
"I won't forget father."
"Such a good daughter," he said with a smile. "Your mother would have been so proud."
"I wish mum was here to see this too father."
IIIIIIIIII
Tonks woke with a start when the noises from up the hall started again. "Just couldn't bloody quit could you?" She sobbed. "Just had to keep going, don't you ever rest?" Eyes lighting up, she carefully reached down to the floor and groped for her Auror robes until she managed to get a hand into the pocket to withdraw a small packet. "These earplugs are the best bloody investment I ever made," she said with a smile. "Thank god," she sighed. "I was afraid the wards would prevent these from working, fifteen hours of sleep here I come."
AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, Ben Russell-Gough, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, Brian Arcis, Shalon Wood, Fenris, Pelel, Andrew Joshua Talon, shinji the good sharer, and everyone on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes. Still more go to Andrew Joshua Talon who wrote much (most) of the subplot with Narcissa, Remus, and Draco.