Disclaimer: Always make sure first, you DON'T want to find out the hard way.
Imagine Luna on Arbor Day
"Hey Chief," the Auror called out to his boss. "Got another robbery. It's the Fox and the Hound again."
"Send in Auror Tonks," Amelia said without looking up.
"She's got the day off boss," he reminded her.
"I hate to disturb her," Amelia mused. "On the other hand, she might be able to use her relationship with the Potter family to smooth things over. Gather up a team of curse breakers and have them meet me in front of the Potter's building."
IIIIIIIIII
"Getting ready for work Draco?" Andromeda asked.
"Yes aunt Andromeda," Draco agreed.
"Don't forget your uniform," Andromeda said calmly.
"Yes aunt Andromeda," Draco said with a subdued voice.
"About your job," Andromeda said. "You may not think it's suitable employment for a Black but I want you to remember one thing."
"Yes?"
"Everyone has to start somewhere," the woman said. "You have to learn to follow before you can lead and once you reach the top, the power is sweeter because of what you can compare it to."
"I understand aunt Andromeda," Draco sighed.
"Good boy," she said fondly. Narcissa was always the manipulator in the family, always the one that liked to make her puppets dance to her tune but Narcissa had to learn her craft somewhere.
IIIIIIIIII
Amelia met her people at the entrance of the building and led them up to Tonks's apartment. "Auror Tonks," she called out as she knocked on the door. "Auror Tonks."
"I've got one person inside," one of the curse breakers announced. "No movement, slow heartbeat."
"Take the door," Amelia ordered. The door shattered and she rushed into the apartment ahead of her Aurors and into Tonks's bedroom. "Tonks," she called out. "Speak to me, wake up Nymphadora." She reached down to check the young Auror's pulse.
Tonks felt a hand on her throat and she reacted with the reflexes that had kept her alive since she'd taken a position in the DMLE.
"Oof." The air rushed out of Amelia's lungs as Tonks gave her a quick jab to the stomach.
Tonks threw herself onto her assailant and tried every dirty trick Moody had drilled into her head.
"That's enough of that Auror Tonks," Amelia growled. A few quick twists and she had her Auror pinned beneath her. "Didn't know you could do that," she said as the arm she was holding grew a new joint and began twisting free. Adjusting her hold, Amelia tapped the Auror on the cheek.
Tonks opened her eyes and immediately stopped struggling. "Sorry about that boss," she said quickly.
"Don't worry about it Auror Tonks," Amelia sighed.
"Wearing earplugs boss," Tonks interrupted. "Can't hear you."
Amelia released her Auror and Tonks was quick to remove her earplugs.
"I told you not to worry about it Auror Tonks," Amelia said dryly. "And I was going to add that in the future, you may wish to open your eyes when you fight."
"I will boss," Tonks agreed. "Wasn't thinking till you pinned me . . . how'd you do that anyway?"
"Moody may have taught you everything you know about fighting dirty," Amelia said with a grin. "But no everything he knows and certainly not everything I know."
"Got it boss," Tonks said. "What's up?"
"The Fox and the Hound have hit another house," Amelia explained. "We need the Potters and I was hoping that you could help me convince them that we are very sorry that we interrupted their personal time. I am sorry that I had to disturb you on your day off."
"No problem boss," Tonks sighed. "Hazard of the job."
"Though I do notice that it's a bit quieter then you've led me to believe," Amelia said with a wicked grin.
"Give them a couple minutes," Tonks said with a frown. "There they go again." Faint sounds began coming from the Potter apartment.
"That doesn't sound so bad."
"It'll get worse." Tonks got out of bed and threw on her Auror Robes over her evening attire. "Let's go."
The group of Aurors walked up the hall towards the door to the Potter apartment. On the wall was a short note in Hermione's precise handwriting informing the world that the couple was unavailable for the foreseeable future and requesting that visitors write their name and contact information in the space provided and promising that they would be contacted as soon as possible. A few feet beyond that a large bear trap sat in the middle of the floor, teeth dripping with poison.
Amelia gave a low whistle as she inspected the wards. "You know, I've never seen wards powerful enough to be visible without mage sight." She had to raise her voice to be heard over the sound of a headboard methodically slamming into the wall along with the accompanying squeals. Before any of the others could respond, their attention was drawn to a large moth flying towards the door. "Oh my," she gasped. As soon as the insect had crossed the ward barrier, several things had happened. An ominous hummm that caused more then one of the Aurors to take a nervous back step, arcs of electricity covered the ward, until finally they coalesced and fried the poor creature to dust.
"Um . . . you know what chief," Tonks said nervously. "Why don't we just handle this case ourselves?"
"Good plan Auror Tonks," Amelia said dryly. "Add your name to the list and . . ."
"I wouldn't do that," one of the Ministry Curse Breakers said quickly.
"Why not?" Amelia growled.
"Because that is a magical contract," the man explained. "You don't want to know what'll happen if you try to bother them again after signing that."
"I guess Hermione really wanted her personal time," Tonks giggled. "And from the looks of the wards, so did Harry."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
"Vocal isn't she?" Amelia asked blandly. "Come along children."
"Yes boss," the Aurors agreed.
IIIIIIIIII
Draco's eyebrow twitched.
"Can I take your order, sir?" He hissed the fat man in front of the register.
"Why yes, young lady! I'll take a-!"
"THAT'S IT! NEXT PERSON TO CALL ME A GIRL DIES!"
"Holy shit, she's a guy!" One of the other employees gasped. "I just thought she was flat!"
IIIIIIIIII
"Madame Bones, I think you'd better have a look at this."
"What?" The woman asked as she walked towards the Auror.
"You know the Fox and the Hound's Dark Mark?"
"What about . . . oh." Amelia watched as the Fox and the Hound . . . frolicked. "Kinky."
"What do you think it means?"
"I suspect that it's a taunt aimed towards the Potters," she said dryly. "Alluding to their recent activities."
IIIIIIIIII
Luna was bustling around the house gathering potions ingredients and making occasional trips back to their small library to check her books.
"What are you doing strangler fig?"
"I'm getting ready for my visit with Harry and Hermione father," Luna replied. "They've put up wards and they forgot to key me in again."
"Are you sure you want to have a relationship with such absent minded people thistle?"
"You told me that one has to make allowances for their partner's little foibles father," Luna pointed out. "Like mother's habit of wearing clothing on arbor day."
"Oh yes," her father agreed. "I'm sorry chestnut."
"That's ok father," Luna assured the man. "Everyone has their moments."
"Would you like my help pignut?"
"I've just finished father," Luna replied. "And I have to go to bed now."
"But it's only nine kelp," he protested.
"Harry and Hermione have just fallen asleep and I wish to join them father," Luna explained. "The poor dears have worn themselves out."
"Have fun then crabgrass."
"I will father," Luna replied as she skipped up the stairs. Luna spent the next hour dousing her bed with the potion she'd spent the last several hours brewing and casting the occasional charm. When she was satisfied that she had done everything correctly, she stripped, crawled into bed, and pulled her blankets over her head. Pulling them back down after a few seconds of disorientation.
Luna curled up beside Hermione and Harry. She made a sigh of contentment as Hermione rolled over and pulled Luna into her arms. Luna knew that while they may play hard to get, Harry and Hermione were also careful to leave the BeTaNe or Bed transportation network, commonly called the Bed Floo open for her. Just before Luna drifted off, she experienced a brief moment of doubt thinking that her future lovers might not know about that method of travel? Nah! Someone would have mentioned it by now, even if it was a bit old fashioned.
Hermione felt wuuuuunderful as she woke up in Harry's arms. The night before had been everything she imagined it to be, better then the ones that preceded it. She sighed in contentment as she cuddled the person in her arms and . . . wait, she paused. If she was in Harry's arms then who was in hers? Hermione opened her eyes and looked down to confirm that yes, Luna had managed to find a way to sneak in and climb into their bed. To hell with it, Hermione thought as she closed her eyes. I'm feeling too relaxed to do anything at the moment.
Hermione woke again a few hours later and reluctantly climbed out of bed. "Good morning Luna."
"Good morning Hermione," Luna chirped. "How are you today?"
"A bit sore," Hermione admitted. "Yourself?"
"I'm feeling quite limber," Luna replied.
"Care for a shower?"
"I've been waiting to hear you say that for months," Luna said joyfully. "Of course I'd like a shower."
"Then you can have it first," Hermione said with a smirk. "Have at it."
"Want to use that spell I taught you to watch me shower huh?" Luna said with a knowing grin. "I'll be sure to put on a very good show for you and Harry then," Luna finished with a happy grin before skipping into the bathroom.
"That's not what I . . . never mind," Hermione sighed.
"I didn't know you were a voyeur," Harry said with a yawn. "Mind if I join you?"
"I'm not planning to watch Luna shower Harry," Hermione said quickly.
"Fine," Harry said with a fake look of hurt. "I understand, this is something you want to keep to yourself for now. Don't mind me, I'll just be in the kitchen . . . slaving over a hot stove for you and the object of your desire."
"Just go," Hermione giggled as she threw a pillow.
"Come here for a bit," Harry commanded.
"Why?" Hermione quickly complied.
"My morning kiss," he said in a husky voice as he pulled her close. "Don't want to miss that do I?"
"No," she agreed. "You don't."
IIIIIIIIII
"Aunt Andromeda," Draco began.
"Shouldn't you be getting ready for work Draco?"
"I have the day off," Draco replied.
"Then what is it nephew?"
"Could you teach me to brew poisons?"
"I am not going to help you murder Remus," she said flatly.
"I don't want you to help me kill the wolf," Draco growled. "That's something I want the pleasure of doing myself . . . when the time comes."
"Then who do you want to murder?"
"My store manager," Draco replied. "I've become the assistant manager which means that if something were to happen to him . . ."
"When did you become the assistant manager?" She asked with an odd look on her face. "You haven't even been working there a week."
"I've been there the longest without being caught stealing things or befouling the food," Draco replied.
"That's wonderful Draco," she said with a smile.
"Yeah," Draco agreed. "As if a bunch of muggles could catch me befouling the food or . . . supplementing my income."
"Uh . . . moving right along."
"I was happy to take the position until I found out that there wasn't any extra pay and that it gave me more work," Draco continued. "But after thinking about it, I realised what an opportunity I'd been given."
"I see . . . well, I think this is something you need to learn to do on your own."
"I understand," Draco said with a pout.
"But that doesn't mean that I won't give you any hints," she continued. "For starters, I don't believe you should kill your manager."
"What?" Draco demanded. "Why not?"
"Because that would bring in the police Darling," she replied. "And you can't just memory charm them."
"I suppose," Draco sighed. "So what am I suppose to do?"
"You're a smart boy," she said. "Figure it out yourself."
"Yes aunt Andromeda," Draco agreed.
"Come back later if you haven't had any ideas and I'll give you a few more hints."
"Thank you aunt Andromeda."
"We're family Draco," she said with a smile. "We do things like that for each other."
IIIIIIIIII
Luna got out of the shower to find Hermione waiting for her outside.
"Can I talk to you for a minute Luna?" Hermione said seriously.
"Of course Hermione," Luna agreed. "What do you wish to talk about?"
"I . . . could you just stop coming here without any clothes on," Hermione said in a tired voice. "Is that too much to ask?"
"Of course not," Luna replied. "You just had to ask Hermione, you really need to learn to express yourself clearly."
"The definition of clothes for the purpose of this conversation being something that covers up all the naughty bits."
"Naughty bits?"
"Everything from here." She indicated a point just above the girl's knees. "To here." She raised her hand to Luna's collar.
"Ok Hermione," Luna agreed. She noted that Hermione never mentioned anything about the removal of clothing after she was already in the house
"Thank you Luna."
"No problem Hermione," Luna said cheerfully. "But I'm afraid I'm going to have to borrow some clothing today since I didn't bring any of my own."
"You can wear some of my clothes if you want," Hermione offered. "Or one of Harry's shirts."
"I'd prefer one of Harry's shirts," Luna said after a moment of thought. "You know Hermione . . ."
"What is it Luna?"
"I liked spooning with you this morning," Luna said with a dreamy smile.
"I . . . didn't mind finding you there either Luna," Hermione allowed cautiously, not wanting to admit too much.
"But . . . well . . ."
"Yes?"
"I'd really prefer to fork."
"To . . . no Luna."
"But you had your turn," Luna protested. "It should be mine now."
"No."
"Not fair," Luna waled. "I kept my promise didn't I? If I can't have my turn with Harry then I can I have my turn with you?"
"No."
"Why not?" The blond was close to tears.
"I just . . . don't want you to get hurt Luna."
"Get hurt?" Luna brightened up a bit.
"What'll people say if you do . . . that sort of thing before you get married?"
"But I can't wait that long."
"You only have to wait until you get betrothed," Hermione was quick to assure the other girl. "Then it's ok."
"So all I need to do is get betrothed and I can have my turn?"
"You can have your turn with whoever you're engaged to," Hermione said quickly. "Ok Luna?"
"Ok Hermione," Luna agreed with a happy smile.
"And don't get engaged to someone just for the . . . physical benefits," Hermione added. "You should only get engaged to someone you love."
"Of course I should only get engaged to someone I love," Luna agreed. "You don't have to worry I'd do otherwise. And I'm sorry I misunderstood you before." Luna leaned forward to give Hermione a deep kiss. "I'll go tell Harry."
"Ok Luna," Hermione agreed in a daze. "Wait what?" She said to the retreating girl.
"Hey Harry," Luna called out as she bounced towards him.
"What is it Luna?"
"Hermione said we could all have a bit of fun with one another after she proposes to me," Luna said happily. "You know . . . in the bedroom fun."
"She said that huh?"
"Not in those exact words," Luna demured.
"I'll let you two work out the details then," Harry said with a grin. He couldn't wait to hear Hermione's version of the events.
"Wait," Hermione screamed as she rushed into the room. "I didn't say that Luna."
"I know you didn't Hermione," Luna agreed. "I was just having a bit of fun with Harry."
"Oh . . . good one Luna," Hermione said with a nervous laugh.
"I know." Luna didn't bother to add that Hermione had promised it as a birthday presant for her she didn't want to ruin the ruin the surprise.
AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, Ben Russell-Gough, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, Brian Arcis, Shalon Wood, Fenris, Pelel, Andrew Joshua Talon, shinji the good sharer, and everyone on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes. Still more go to Andrew Joshua Talon who wrote much (most) of the subplot with Narcissa, Remus, and Draco.