Disclaimer: Not sure where that subplot came from, possibly lack of sleep since I've been up for about twenty four at the moment.

Black Bag

"So what made you decide to drop by Luna?" Hermione asked. And how, she left unsaid. It was clear that they needed to do a bit more work on their wards.

"My Healer's appointment is today Hermione," Luna replied. "And you promised to go with me remember?"

"I do remember Luna," Hermione agreed.

"And . . . well . . . I was also feeling a bit lonely," Luna added. "And hungry."

"Hungry?"

"Father is a terrible cook and I've grown rather accustom to Harry's nutritious delights," Luna explained.

"Good to be appreciated," Harry said dryly. "What are you going to the Healers for? Nothing serious I hope."

"I have a wart on my toe that looks like former Minister Fudge," Luna explained.

"So you're going to have it removed?" Hermione asked.

"That or have it changed to look like current Minister Weasley," Luna agreed.

"Have it . . . when do we need to be there Luna?"

"Any time today," Luna said. "The sooner the better."

"After breakfast?"

"Ok."

Hermione got up to answer the door after hearing a knock. "Morning Tonks."

"Morning Hermione, Harry, Luna," Tonks replied. "

"Hey Tonks."

"Hello Tonks," Luna said. "Have your memories returned yet?"

"I . . . moving right along," Tonks continued. "Can I talk to you guys about something?"

"What is it Tonks?" Hermione asked.

"Look," Tonks began. "I'm all in favor of people getting laid . . . especially if one of those people is me, so unless you want to include me could you please PLEASE remember to put up a few silencing charms next time? The wards wouldn't let me put up any of my own and I need my sleep."

"Um . . . ok Tonks," a very red Hermione said.

"No problem," Harry agreed.

"Thank you Hermione," Tonks said as she hugged the younger girl. "You're a good friend."

"Harry my man." Tonks gave her . . . god cousin? A high five. "What are you a machine, good job."

"Thanks Tonks," Harry said proudly. "Care to stay for breakfast?"

Hermione's blush deepened and she hid her face in her hands

Tonks grinned at Hermione's reaction. "Sure Harry, thanks."

"No problem."

IIIIIIIIII

"Hey Gretchen," one of the recruits began. "Do you think master would get angry if a few of us got together to attack a few isolated muggle houses? Muggles need loving too, it would be cruel to keep them from hearing master's word."

"I don't see why master would mind," Gretchen mused. "So long as you don't do any magic in front of them."

"Ok," the Dark Bunnie agreed. Little did she know what effect the Weasley family lust and fertility charms would do when cast on muggles. Nine months later, the BBC would report that emergency rooms around the country were experiencing a surge in the number of twins, triplets, and multiple births in general. Experts would be trotted out to report that the trend was nothing unusual, at least not given the fact that the birth rate as a whole had increases. Twelve years later, Hogwarts would experience the largest influx of muggle born students in history, but that's not important . . . at least not yet.

IIIIIIIIII

"Morning boss," Tonks said as she wandered into the office. "Thought you'd want to know that Harry and Hermione have sort of rejoined society."

"What do you mean sort of?"

"Wards are down and they're taking callers again," Tonks explained. "I think."

"You think?" Amelia said dully. "Does anyone know how to persuade the Potters to rejoin the world?"

"You could give Harry some really good vintage porn," Kingsley offered.

"What?" Amelia asked flatly.

"He collects it," Shacklebolt explained quickly. "Has the largest collection I've ever seen, stuff from all eras . . . things I think must go back to the founders."

"Wonder if the misus knows?" One of the other Aurors mused.

"I'd say so," Tonks giggled. "Their favorite kinky sex outfits look like what the Fox and the Hound wear."

"Oh?" Amelia leaned forward. "Do tell."

"I imagine they use them with their Auror robes . . . or the school girl uniforms . . . or . . . hmmmm."

"I saw the Lovegood girl in a naughty nurse outfit," Kingsley offered.

"Wish I had his luck," Tonks sighed. "Or theirs."

"Hmmmmm." Several Aurors got a far away look in their eyes.

"Moving right along," Amelia brought them all back to to the real world. "Does anyone have anything new to share?"

One of the Aurors spoke up. "My missus likes me to put on a Harry Potter costume and she dresses up as McGonagall."

"Ohhh. Naughty school boy bit with paddle and everything?" Asked another Auror.

Amelia sighed as her entire staff got into arguments of which Hogwarts female teacher worked best for the scene.

IIIIIIIIII

"And what are we here for?" The Healer asked as he walked into the room.

"Well," Luna began. "That's a complicated question and . . ."

"She needs to get a wart removed," Hermione interrupted.

"It looks like former Minister Fudge," Luna added helpfully. "And I'd like it to look like current Minister Weasley if possible."

"Just close your eyes," the Healer said in a soothing voice. "It'll sting for a second and . . . here we are."

"May I see it?" Luna asked eagerly. "Oh . . . you removed it."

"Yes, take a look Ms. Lovegood."

"You were only able to make it look like his brother George?" Luna said in disappointment, "well . . . you were close. Thank you for removing it Healer, it's no fun to have a wart unless it looks like the Minister."

"No problem Ms. Lovegood," the Healer replied. "Do you mind if we keep this."

"Why?"

"We're experimenting with tissue transplants," the Healer explained. "Taking it off you and putting it on . . . well, confidentiality prevents me from saying who we're going to put it on."

"Ok," Luna agreed. "Come on Hermione, we have to write that article for Teen Witch and you've procrastinated long enough."

"What do you mean procrastinated?"

"Our deadline is coming up," Luna explained. "And it isn't like homework, you can't just copy off Hermione at the last minute."

"I . . . what?"

IIIIIIIIII

The door opened before Amelia had a chance to knock and she found herself looking into the curious eyes of Harry Potter.

"What can I do for you Amelia?" Harry asked.

"I just need you to take a look at some wards for me," Amelia replied. "Maybe do a bit of ward breaking if you can get in without raising the alarms . . . off the books."

"What's a little breaking and entering between friends?" Harry asked with a laugh. "Let me grab my stuff."

"Don't you want the details?"

"I presumed you'd give them to me when we were traveling to the site," Harry replied. "And if not . . . well, you are the Director of Magical Law Enforcement."

"And you'd be out of our cells in an hour if we tried to take you," Amelia sighed. "I imagine that gives one peace of mind."

"While I might be able to get through the wards in an hour," Harry said modestly. "I'd have a bit more trouble with the rest of it. Shall we?"

"Thank you Harry," Amelia said with a relieved smile. "Needless to say that this is a very sensitive job."

"Ministry official or Auror?"

"Neither of those would be a problem considering the new Minister," Amelia said slowly. "Do you know anything about International Law?"

"Maybe enough to fill a thimble," Harry said cheerfully.

"Well . . . embassies are considered the soil of the country that put them in, it's . . . it's a really bad idea to get caught sneaking into one."

"Sure you don't want me to do this myself then?" Harry asked seriously. "You'd of course be shocked that your trusted friend Harry Potter would . . ."

"No," Amelia said firmly. "That's the sort of thing Fudge would do."

"Figured I'd offer," Harry said mildly. "Let's go."

"Don't you want to know why?"

"Is it important?"

"Yes . . . yes, it's potentially very important."

"Then yes, I'd like to know. But your word that it's important is good enough for me."

"Thank you Harry."

"Not at all Amelia."

IIIIIIIIII

"Got another one for you," the Healer announced as he walked into the psych wing with Luna's wart. "Any room left on his nose?"

"Fraid not," Healer Brown replied. "We could put it on his lip though."

"How about his ear?"

"Eyelid, it's got to be his eye lid," another insisted.

IIIIIIIIII

Hermione arrived home to find the apartment empty. With a shrug, she selected a book and curled up in her favorite chair for a few hours of quality reading.

Knock! Knock!

"Hi, Tonks! Looking good!"

"Watcha, Hermione. Thanks. Could you do me a favor?"

"I suppose it depends on the favor."

"Can you contact the Aurors and have them pick up the package on the table next to the door of my flat? Tim gave me a bouquet of a dozen Death Eater arms, and I'd like it gone before I get home."

"Arms?" Hermione asked, a little shocked.

"Yes. I'm sure he thinks it's romantic. Got to go. Thanks."

"Yeah . . . bye Tonks . . . arms?"

IIIIIIIIII

"How's it going?" Amelia asked.

"Tricky," Harry replied. "Whoever put this up was very good."

"So you can't get in?"

"I could have gotten in two hours ago," Harry said with sweat poring down his face. "It's getting in without getting caught that's the hard part. Bet you wish you could have brought the Fox and the Hound instead of lil'ol me huh?"

"I can trust you, not sure if I can trust them."

"And I'm in," Harry whispered. "Now what?"

"Now?" Amelia cast a quick charm. "We can go."

"That's all?"

"That's all," Amelia agreed. "Are they going to find this hole?"

"I've got it covered," Harry said. His wand blurred for a few seconds. "Tell me if you want to get in again, might as well be a revolving door now. It'll look good . . . even work good, unless you know the password."

"Password?"

"In a matter of speaking, will that be all Amelia?"

"Yes, thank you Harry."

AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, Ben Russell-Gough, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, Brian Arcis, Shalon Wood, Fenris, Pelel, Andrew Joshua Talon, shinji the good sharer, and everyone on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes. Still more go to Andrew Joshua Talon who wrote much (most) of the subplot with Narcissa, Remus, and Draco.