i don't get many reviews for this but i like this story, and i'm going to keep on posting it as long as i know people are reading. so this is for my reviewers, thanks for letting me know you like it!

the italics are flashbacks of Deans.

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Chapter 5: Flashbacks

Sam crawled in the back of the Impala as Dean drove back to Kalley's house. Sam tried talking to her on the way back but all she did was look out the window in silence. He was worried about her, it wasn't everyday that your sister was possessed and trying to kill you. When they reached her house Sam helped her into the kitchen, sitting her down on one of the chairs.

"Where's Lucy?" was all she asked.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Sam asked looking over her.

Dean shut the kitchen door and turned at Kalley's question. "Well, we did try and slow her down by letting her hit me a bunch of times but sadly she got away."

Sam looked at Dean. "Knock it off Dean." He was tired of this attitude he seemed to have acquired on this job. "Are you hurt?" he asked again.

She shook her head no. "A few scrapes, I'm fine."

Sam saw her rub her arms and he held his hands out to see them. She placed her arms in his hands and let him rub over her skin with his fingers. She was surprised he was so warm.

"Did she say anything to you?"

"You mean before or after she killed that man?" Kalley asked angrily.

Dean bit down on his tongue when he wanted to reply after.

She shook her head. "I've never seen her like that before; I still can't believe that was her. She killed a man, and she didn't even care."

"Well it's not her, that's what we've been trying to tell you." Dean said knowingly.

Sam put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it gently. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." He said quietly and Dean rolled his eyes. He really wasn't in the mood for Sam's touchy feely crap. "But we need to know if she said anything important to you."

She sniffled and Sam handed her a tissue. "She basically said there's no one to save."

"Well she's got that right at least." Dean muttered.

Sam looked up from Kalley angrily. "Can I talk to you for a minute Dean?"

He didn't wait for him to respond and dragged Dean out of the kitchen and back outside. Dean shrugged Sam's arm off his jacket.

"What?" Dean asked getting yet another glare from Sam.

"I wanna know what your problem is. Right now." Sam said.

"What are you talking about? I don't have a problem." Dean said defensively.

If the situation hadn't been grim, Sam would have laughed. "Right, like I haven't noticed that you have a problem with this job. You're on edge, you're miserable and you're an ass to that girl in there! She has done nothing wrong, Dean. Now what the hell is your problem?" he asked practically seething.

"I've dealt with stuff like this before Sam and it all ends the same."

"And I haven't?" Sam asked. "I've been around possessions and witches before Dean. But you've never been this downright agitated."

"You don't remember?" Dean asked.

"Remember what?" Sam asked, his voice was still angry but it was toning down.

"I guess you wouldn't. You were only seven. But I was eleven and I remember everything." Dean said running a hand over his face.

"What are you talking about Dean?" Sam's voice was soft now and it was the same voice he was using to calm Kalley not moments ago.

"We were with dad, in another crappy motel in Colorado. He was hunting down this witch. She was stealing children to perform black magic. It was known as corpse poison. She was taking children and killing them."

Sam watched as Dean's face contorted in anger and sadness as he told the story, but he didn't interrupt. If he did Dean might not have continued. It wasn't often he opened up like this.

"She was using the children for her own personal gain. Killing them for their youth. Dad left to take care of it…."

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John Winchester loaded up his bag full of weapons onto his back. "What are the rules Dean?"

Eleven year old Dean got up from wrestling with seven year old Sam and approached his father. His hero. "Watch out for Sammy and don't answer the door or phone."

John smiled and through his bag on his back. "That's right. I'll be back in a few days and if I'm not call Pastor Jim. Don't let Sammy play outside. You hear me? It's too dangerous."

Dean nodded and went back to watch TV with Sam…

0o0o0o0

Dean turned to look at Sam. "Three days later and dad wasn't back yet. I was going to wait one more day before I called Pastor Jim. And that room was driving me insane, my skin was crawling and I was just plain tired of hearing your complaining with it Sam…"

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Sam leaned his head on the side of Dean's armchair.

"Can I go play outside?" Sam whined.

Dean shook his head. "No. You heard what dad said, no playing outside."

"He's not even here. He'll never know, and I'm bored."

"I said no Sam! If dad caught you he'd yell to no end. And then neither of us would be allowed outside, you want that?"

Sam's lower lip started to quiver and small tears fell down his face. "I just wanted…"

Dean looked away from the TV. "Come on Sam, don't cry. Fine, fine. You can play outside, but only for a few minutes…"

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"I should have just listened. Did what I was told. If I would have you would have never…" Dean trailed off, biting his lower lip.

"What Dean?" Sam asked.

"You would have never gotten kidnapped!" Dean said suddenly breaking off into anger. "If I would have listened to dad, that witch would have never gotten you!"

"But I'm fine Dean, I'm right here." Sam said putting his hands on his chest as if to prove a point.

"Yeah, dad and I had to search for you for two days. He ripped me a new one, saying I should have never let you out of my sight…."

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Dean backed up into the corner as his father came menacingly towards him. Dean had never seen his father that angry before, it was the first time he thought he might hit him.

"How could you do this Dean?" his father seethed. "After I told you to not let your brother out of your sight! He could end up dead. Do you understand that?"

At the time, Dean didn't understand. He was only eleven; he couldn't possibly understand what he had done. He just always figured Sam would be ok and that his dad was a hero that could rescue anybody. That the three of them together were unstoppable.

Dean's lower lip quivered. "I'm sorry dad…Sammy was crying. He wanted to go outside."

"Stop crying Dean. You have to be strong, always. You hear me? You have one job, one thing you always need to do. Watch. Out. For. Sam." John put an emphasis on every word.

Dean nodded and tears fell down his face. At this, John's face softened and he put a strong arm around Dean's shoulders, sitting him in the back of the Impala.

"Let's go get your brother back…"

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"That's why this job is bothering you?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "Witches, demons, clown-eating parasites…they're all the same Sam. And I want every single one of them gone, understand?"

Sam nodded. "But Dean, Kalley isn't like that. She's not even a witch."

"But her sisters were. I'm just tired Sam, of this whole job. I'm tired of evil things like that taking advantage of good people…" Dean shook his head, trailing off. He'd said too much and he knew it. It was his job to be the strong one, to have a clear head about situations, to keep Sam safe. That was it, that's all he had to do.

So he ran a hand through his hair and built back his bravado. Sam wasn't supposed to understand, to know he was weak just like everyone else.

"Go take care of Kalley, I'm gonna head to the car."

Dean walked past Sam and headed to the kitchen door.

"Hey Dean."

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"I understand." Sam said.

Dean nodded and turned and headed through the kitchen and out to front door to his car. Yeah, Sam understood, and that was the problem.

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Kalley sipped the last of her tea as Sam came back in the kitchen door.

"Is your brother okay?" she asked. "He looked pretty upset walking back out."

Sam shrugged and sat on one of the island chairs. "It's always hard to tell with him. But I'm sure he'll be back blasting AC/DC and telling me what to do in no time."

She smiled. "Bossy brother?"

"Something like that. He's a great brother though, looks out for me."

"He's older, it's his job. Just like it was mine to watch over Lucy and Paige. At least Dean actually looked out for you. Look at the bang up job I did." She shook her head placing her cup in he sink.

"What happened to Paige wasn't your fault and neither is what's happening to Lucy. You couldn't have stopped it okay?" Sam asked.

She nodded but didn't say anything as she sat next to Sam.

"You know what else older brothers and sisters do?" he asked.

"What?"

"They also beat themselves up when something happens that they couldn't control."

She smiled shaking her head. "You always have to be right about things?"

He shrugged and smiled slowly. "It's a sibling thing, you wouldn't understand."

She shoved him playfully and he grinned. She was supposed to respond to what he was saying but she found that she couldn't. It was something about his eyes, when she looked into them she couldn't find her voice. All of a sudden she was feeling his touch again, the heat of where his hands had touched her arms.

"Do you um…want something to drink?" she asked. It hadn't been what she wanted to say, but when she was nervous whatever her brain could find to say she said it.

Sam looked at the front door and then back at her. "I would love one but I should probably get going. Dean's waiting in the car."

She shook her head. "Oh right, forgot all about Dean." She smiled as her cheeks lit up from embarrassment.

Sam smiled. "It's ok, it's just he'll make me walk back to motel if I make him wait any longer."

She nodded and followed him to the front door. He turned back and she almost ran into him. "Will you be alright by yourself?"

She shrugged. "You're the expert. Will I be?"

He smiled. "You can come if you want, if it'll ease your nerves."

She thought of something else that could ease her nerves and her eyes got wide at the thought. She shook her head once again embarrassed. What was it with this guy and making her cheeks flush? "Yeah, I'll just grab some of my things."

Sam nodded and headed back to the car to tell Dean.

"She's coming with us." He said getting in the passenger seat.

"Dude, you are so into her." Dean said grinning.

Sam shook his head. "I am not."

"Yeah right, which is why you're practically flushed."

Sam looked in the side mirror and his cheeks were indeed rosy. He didn't even notice. What was it with this girl that he couldn't get cool every time she was near him?

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