Disclaimer: There are things no one should have to know . . . Draco knows, pity the poor bastard.
Leather Corset
"Good morning Luna," Hermione said as she woke up. With a sigh she turned to find out what sort of outlandish costume Luna was modeling and was pleasantly surprised to find the other girl sitting quietly in a chair and wearing a tasteful sundress."
"Hello Hermione, may Harry come out and play with me?" Luna asked politely.
"What game?" Hermione asked suspiciously.
"It's a game I invented," Luna said brightly. "All you need is two balls and . . ."
"What's it called?" Hermione interrupted.
"Balls on chin."
"No."
"But . . ."
"No."
"Awwwww."
IIIIIIIIII
"Have you decided what to do with the money you got from your settlement?" Andromeda asked pleasantly.
"I have some ideas," Draco allowed. Soon the Dark Lord Black Dragon would bring the world to its collective knees.
"Those ideas wouldn't have anything to do with the sketch book full of dark uniform ideas you left on the coffee table would they?" Andromeda sighed.
"Uh . . ."
"Draco . . . Darling, listen to me."
"Yes Aunt Andromeda?"
"Dark Lords come and go, while the columns that support society remain. Every time a Dark Lord crops up, one of two things occurs. Either they fail, or they succeed. Regardless, the institutions remain. They may change a bit, the Weekly Register changed it's name to the Daily Prophet to shed a bit of unfortunate history and despite that change the press remains a power, retaining the ability to tell the sheep what their opinion is. Or take the Ministry, it was built as a servant to society, but the master has become weak and dependent. When the Master becomes dependent on the servant, who do you think is in control?"
"But . . . the Dark Lord Jeremy . . ."
"Is redefining the role of a Dark Lord in our society," Andromeda interrupted. "And even then he's less a force of evil and more a force of nature. I think history will remember him as less of a Dark Lord and more as the father of a good percentage of Magical Europe."
"He doesn't have that many followers," Draco muttered sullenly.
"No but he is directly responsible for a massive rise in pregnancies," Andromeda said with a laugh. "Both in the magical and muggle world."
"I see."
"And even he will pass out of the spotlight unless someone is chosen to carry out his work," Andromeda sighed. "Draco, what matters . . . what really matters, is institutions. Create something that becomes so important to society that it will last forever, something that will be around until the end of society as we know it."
"I understand Aunt Andromeda," Draco said seriously.
"Good boy." Looked like the Black family traits hadn't been too diluted after it had been polluted and diluted by the Malfoy family. Andromeda really didn't know what they were thinking when they arranged a match with Lucius . . . well, no sense dwelling on the past.
IIIIIIIIII
"Morning Luna," Harry greeted the blond.
"Good morning Harry," Luna said cheerfully. "How are you doing today?"
"Confused," he admitted.
"Why?"
"I'm wondering how you managed to tie yourself to that chair," Harry said thoughtfully. "And with such artistic knots too."
"Oh I didn't do this," Luna said with a dreamy smile. "Hermione did."
"How'd you convince her to do that?"
"There wasn't any convincing involved," Luna confided. "She did this without any prompting on my part . . . I think she's warming up to me." Luna giggled happily.
"Do you want me to untie you?"
"Mmmmm, later."
"Ok, then do you want me to drag you into the other room so I have company while I cook breakfast?"
"Ok."
IIIIIIIIII
"Good morning," Hermione's father said as he walked into St. Mungo's.
"Good morning Doctor Phil," the Orderly replied. The man was wheeling out what appeared to be a large barrel full of yogurt. "How are you today?"
"Fine. If you don't mind my asking . . ."
"Of course not Doctor."
"What are you planning to do with all that yogurt?"
"We're throwing it out sir," the Orderly replied. "It's no good after it's been used for . . . you know."
"Nonsense," Phil said with a grin. "Why don't you donate it?"
"Donate it sir?"
"Yes," Phil agreed. "I just happen be treating a prisoner with a wired jaw, between the two of us that jaw is going to stay wired for quite some time and I think some yogurt is just what he needs."
"A prisoner sir?" The Orderly paused to think. "Wouldn't happen to be the one that tried to mug Mrs. Doctor Granger would it?"
"I try not to think of such things," Phil said piously. "The only thing that matters is that he's a patient under my care, the fact that he would have harmed my wife if not for the courageous intervention of the Dark Bunnies is a thought that's never crossed my mind even once."
"You do know that this yogurt has been used several times don't you sir?" The Orderly asked. "And it's only being thrown out because it can't be used again?"
"Waste not want not."
"I understand sir," the Orderly said with a shudder. "And sir."
"Yes?"
"If I've ever done anything to make you displeased with me, I want you to know that I am very sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Phil said as he walked off. "I'm not the vindictive sort."
IIIIIIIIII
"What are we doing today?" Luna asked after Hermione had taken her place at the breakfast table. "Can we go to the zoo?"
"We're going shopping for school supplies," Hermione said. "Are you sure you don't want to be untied?"
"I've been a very naughty girl and I ought to be punished until I learn my lesson," Luna said firmly. "In fact I think Harry should spank me . . . nay, he should spank both of us."
"No Luna," Hermione replied. "Maybe we can go to the zoo after we get our shopping done." Honestly, it was like having a child . . . a perverted child that was always trying to . . . Hermione shook her head to get rid of the bad thoughts.
"Yay," Luna cheered. "Harry."
"Yes Luna?"
"Might I have a banana?"
"Sure Luna," Harry agreed.
"Would you please put some condensed milk on it?"
"Why?"
"So that I can suck it off," Luna said innocently. "I so enjoy the taste of creamy things."
IIIIIIIIII
"Mmm . . . Remus dear, that was wonderful," Bellatrix purred happily, nestled up on one side of the tired, smiling werewolf.
"Glad you enjoyed it," Remus said. He frowned and looked about the bedroom. "Narcissa...?"
"She had some things to take care of, baby shopping," Bellatrix explained, nuzzling his neck. "I can't really go out on my own, so... Guess it's just you and me until she gets back."
"I'm sure we'll manage," Remus smiled, drawing her in for a kiss.
Bellatrix squealed and pounced, knocking them both off the bed. Remus didn't mind though. She had been so starved for affection throughout her life that she enthusiastically jumped into everything Remus and Narcissa did. Which, combined with her ability to learn quickly, was definitely making Remus's lingering resentment towards her fade away.
IIIIIIIIII
"So, do you think I should go with duck curtains, or these rather adorable wolf curtains?" Narcissa asked her sister in the baby store. Andromeda hummed.
"Tonks always loved the wolf curtains... Though Remus might not care for it."
"Oh, he's well on his way to moving past all that bad counseling," Narcissa explained, "especially given the benefits he has from it."
Andromeda grinned evilly. Draco, walking behind them carrying a stack of baby clothes while sulking, gulped.
'No, no, not that...'
"The... Incredible stamina, for instance?"
"M... And the sharper teeth... And his tongue, oh Remmie," Narcissa moaned.
Draco twitched. 'Think about something else... ANYTHING else...'
"You know, he's so good I'm considering getting Draco a werewolf wench to teach him how to be a good lover," Narcissa grinned.
"URK?!"
"Really? You can find one willing?" Andromeda asked with a frown.
"Oh yes... A few were considering joining You-Know-Who before his election to 'Dork Lord'. Pretty ones too," Narcissa nodded. She turned to Draco and smiled cheerfully.
"Would you like that, Draco? To be trained in love arts by a werewolf wench... Or two? Or three?"
"They'd probably kill him. I doubt he has anywhere near the stamina for them," Andromeda stated. Draco bristled.
"WHAT?!" He dropped the baby supplies with a growl. "You're damn right I have stamina! I can outlast any werewolf wench!"
Narcissa smiled. Andromeda groaned. Draco realized his mistake just a tad too late. He flushed.
"Uh, er, I mean-!"
"WONDERFUL! I'll make the calls when we get home!" Narcissa said happily, turning and heading for the crib section. Andromeda shook her head with a sigh.
"That you got from your father," the oldest Black sister stated to Draco. Her nephew glowered.
"Got what?"
"Your brains."
"Really? ... Hey!"
"Do you see who I see sister?" Narcissa asked.
"I believe I do," Andromeda agreed.
"Harry," Narcissa called out in delight. "Draco," she prompted. "Say 'hello' to the head of our family."
"Hello Potter," Draco said unhappily.
"Sorry Harry," Narcissa said with a smile. "It's past Draco's nap time and he's getting a little cranky."
"I don't have a nap time," Draco protested.
"Andy?"
"Sorry sister," Andromeda apologized. "I thought he was old enough not to need one."
"Quite alright," Narcissa replied. "How have you been Harry?"
"Fine," Harry replied. "Is it true that Remus . . ."
"Impregnated both me and my sister?" Narcissa asked. "Quite true."
"Your sister?" Harry glanced at Andromeda.
"The other one," Andy said dryly.
"Ah . . . I . . . uh . . . that's nice?" He finally managed to stammer.
"Isn't it thought?" Narcissa was glowing. "Draco gets a new sibling and a new cousin at the same time."
"Urk." Draco looked green.
"So what are you doing here today Harry?" Narcissa asked.
"Just getting some school supplies and having a day out with the girls," Harry replied.
"School supplies?" Narcissa asked in surprise. "Don't you think you're doing that a bit late?"
"With everything that's been happening this summer," Harry said with a shrug.
"I forgot," Andromeda said with a nod, "it has been a busy summer for you hasn't it?"
Seizing his chance, Draco tried to slip away while his mother was distracted with her conversation.
"Oh no you don't," Narcissa said as she grabbed her son. "Looks like we're going to have to start using Mister leash again."
"But mum . . ." Draco tried to protest.
"No buts," Narcissa said firmly. "Or we'll have to start using Mister ball gag too and you know how grumpy your aunt Trixie gets when Mister ball gag isn't around for fun time."
"Aunt Trixie?" Draco asked despite himself, his eyes widened in horror as the full implications of his mother's statement percolated through his brain.
"It was hard enough getting Mister leash and collar away from her," Narcissa agreed. "Which reminds me, sister dear."
"What is it Cissy?"
"We have to stop by the robe shop later, Trixie wanted me to pick up a red hooded cape for her."
"Oh?"
"This time it's little red riding hood that eats the wolf," Narcissa explained. "Thought the reverse may also be true depending on Remus's mood."
"Ug." Draco sent a look at his nemesis, promising Harry anything if only he'd find a way to get the two of them out of the horrible situation that they'd found themselves in.
Seeing Draco squirm was somewhat of a guilty pleasure for Harry. On the one hand, Draco had been a huge pain in the arse for a number of years. On the other hand, Andy did say he had moved on from his father's muggle hating ways and actually got a job working with them. And on a third hand, no bloke should be forced to hear about his mum's sex life. Come to think of it, Harry shouldn't be forced to hear about somebody's mum's sex life. Decision made, Harry smiled at the two sisters.
"Look at the time," Harry said with a sigh, "I've got to go meet the girls soon and I really can't stay around to chat any longer."
"Have fun then Harry," Narcissa said.
"Oh . . . don't forget to stop by Mistress Mandy's Leather Goods," Harry said over his shoulder, "Bellatrix has been behaving herself so she deserves a reward, have them charge it to my account . . . if she hasn't been a good girl then she's been a very bad girl and needs to be punished. I trust you two to shop accordingly."
"Yes Harry," Narcissa agreed.
"And get something nice for yourselves," Harry added, "have Draco help you pick out your outfits." He finished sadistically, "maybe get him a new mister leash so you don't have to borrow Bellatrix's all the time."
"Thank you Harry," Narcissa cheered, "you hear that Draco? You get to help your mum pick out a sexy leather outfit for herself and a few more for your aunts." The look of horror and betrayal on Draco's face warmed Harry's heart as he walked away. "I'll get you for that Potter," Draco squealed as he was dragged off by his enthusiastic mother. "I'll get youuuuu."
AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, Ben Russell-Gough, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, ubereng, Brian Arcis, Shalon Wood, D.J. Thorens, Fenris, Pelel, peterson9803, Andrew Joshua Talon, shinji the good sharer, and everyone on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes. Still more go to Andrew Joshua Talon who wrote much (most) of the subplot with Narcissa, Remus, and Draco.
Omake by dogbertcarroll (I used some but not all of it above)
Seeing Draco squirm was somewhat of a guilty pleasure for Harry.
On the one hand, Draco had been a huge pain in the arse for a number
of years.
On the other hand, Andy did say he had moved on from his father's
muggle hating ways and actually got a job working with them.
And on a third hand, no bloke should be forced to hear about his mum's
sex life.
Come to think of it, Harry shouldn't be forced to hear about
somebody's mum's sex life.
Decision made, Harry made some quick excuses and drug Draco off for
some male bonding.
"I owe you one, Potter."
"Don't mention it. No bloke should have to know about his mum's
nocturnal activities. Mums are virgins that sleep at night, anything
else is fantasy."
Draco closed his eyes and concentrated for a second, stress lines
fading from his face, leaving him looking strangely relaxed. "That
little delusion is locked in place and I think I can feel my ulcer
shrinking."
Omake Time: "migeleelrubio"
"You know Harry these knots feel kind of nice."
"Really?" Harry asked and looked at the artistic arraignment. Maybe Shibari had a good point, he made a mental note to test it on Hermione later.
"Yes, I feel all tingly now." Luna admitted.
Even Harry recognized a setup. "You want me to feed you."
"Please"
Now if he only had a shield spell or counterspell against those puppy eyes.
IIIIIIIIII
"More Harry."
Hermione blinked.
"Greedy witch."
"I'm not greedy and I'm only tied up, that means you can do all you
want with me."
Somehow Hermione wondered if tying Luna up had been such a good idea.
"Please not that."
She trusted Harry, but then again this was Luna. Taking a deep breath she entered the kitchen and saw ... Harry trying to feed Luna a carrot. She ignored the fact that he was sitting on her lap.
"Hermione please help me, hold her head she won't eat the greens."
"Luna please eat them, Harry stop it she is big girl and can eat herself." Hermione decided.
"Do I have to? I like having Harry on my lap."
"Yes Luna, you can sit in his lap later."
"Yay."
Hermione blinked, then went to the wall and bashed her head a few times. When she turned back she saw Luna and Harry stare at her.
He got up and with a swish of the wand Luna became unbound. "Hermione dear, maybe you should lie down a little more."
"I'm fine now Harry really."
"Harry is right, even if you got rid of the snifflers you should lie down a bit."
"But ..."
"Please?"
"Damn Puppy Eyes" Hermione grumbled and left for bed.
"Luna you watch her, I'll prepare her portion."
"Yes sir, asking for permission to tie her up."
Harry contemplated for a moment. "The book is on the night table, page 69 looks fun."
"Thanks Harry."
AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, Ben Russell-Gough, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, ubereng, Brian Arcis, Shalon Wood, D.J. Thorens, Fenris, Pelel, peterson9803, Andrew Joshua Talon, shinji the good sharer, and everyone on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes. Still more go to Andrew Joshua Talon who wrote much (most) of the subplot with Narcissa, Remus, and Draco.