Disclaimer: Just a bit of a transition chapter.

A Farewell to Ar . . . Tentacles

Harry rejoined the girls a few minutes later and was unsurprised see them squabbling about a few of the items on their shopping list.

"We are not going to get the triple XL cauldron," Hermione said firmly, "it's only used for industrial brewing and there is no way that we're going to do any of that at school."

"But the list says that we each need a quote 'really big cauldron' end quote," Luna said triumphantly. "You're just being lazy because you don't want to have to carry it around."

"I don't think I could carry it around," Hermione growled, "and I know you couldn't. You're half my size."

"Not where it counts," Luna said as she thrust her chest forward. "We're even on that one."

"We're not talking about bust size, we're talking about cauldrons."

"I like your cauldrons," Harry offered.

"Harry," Hermione said with a blush.

"Mine too?" Luna pouted.

"Yours too."

"Yay."

"And Luna is right, it does say that you'll need a really big cauldron."

"See?" Luna stuck her tongue out at Hermione.

"So why don't we buy a couple of the really big ones?" Harry asked. "Who knows, they could come in handy."

"I'm sure they will," Luna agreed with perverted giggle. Unlike the tub in the Potter apartments, the cauldron was big enough for three. "But I don't think we'll need more then one."

"Do you deliver?" Hermione asked the shopkeeper with a sigh.

"Delivery and installation are part of the price," the clerk agreed.

IIIIIIIIII

"We got all your school supplies master," Elizabeth said as she rubbed her cheek on the Dark Lord Jeremy's chest. "All except the robes, Gretchen is tailoring them to fit you."

"Can you believe that they didn't have any robes made out of the finest silk?" Gretchen asked with a frown. "Even after I threatened to . . . well, I guess it doesn't matter. Um . . . I need to measure you again master."

"Fine," Ron agreed.

"Measurements are much more accurate if you're naked master," she said with a hopeful smile.

"Why didn't you say so?"

"I'm sorry master," Gretchen waled. "I must be punished for that oversight."

"And I must be punished for not stopping her," Elizabeth said quickly.

"Me too."

"Me too."

IIIIIIIIII

"Ready to start your new career my love?" Arthur asked as he embraced his wife from behind. "Be a bit of a change don't you think?"

"No," Molly replied as she leaned back into him, "I've raised children my entire adult life. The change was to be cursed with an empty house, it'll be nice to be around children all day again."

"Speaking of having an empty house," he purred, "the children are out and we won't be disturbed."

"Don't ever change Arthur."

IIIIIIIIII

"Trixie," Narcissa called as she walked into the house, "I've got a surprise for you."

"What is it?" Bellatrix demanded from her upstairs room. "Let me see."

"Harry had me get you a new outfit," Narcissa replied, "and a brand new Mr. Leash."

"I always liked him," Bella said as she hugged the outfit to her chest, "he looks out for the family. Not like . . ."

"Yes," Narcissa said quickly, "he's a much better Head of House then we had before. Aren't we lucky to have him."

"Uh huh."

"Now where's Remus?"

"He's out getting take out," she said absently as she changed into her new outfit, "says that you've been spending too much time in the kitchen."

"But I like cooking," Narcissa protested. "Well . . . I guess it'll be a nice change anyway. Do you know what kind of food he's getting?"

"No."

IIIIIIIIII

"Look Hermione," Luna said as the group walked in, "the Cauldron is here."

"That was fast," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"I'm more concerned with how they were able to get in through my wards," Harry muttered. "House elves maybe?"

"Could be," Hermione agreed. "Luna, what are you doing?"

"Making double sure that we can all fit in it," Luna replied, "self heating charms, self filling, and self draining."

"It's like a giant hot tub," Hermione giggled, "that's why you wanted it isn't it?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Luna replied, "but that's an excellent idea Hermione. We can sink it into the floor and put wooden benches in it. Oh it will be ever so much fun won't it?"

"Haarrrieee," Hermione begged.

"I'll have someone make it happen after I upgrade the wards."

"Thank you Harry."

"Maybe we should work on another article while Harry works on the wards?" Luna suggested.

"Good idea Luna," Hermione agreed. "Come on."

Luna and Hermione retired to the apartment's library and prepared to write their next article. Their problem was the fact that the magazine wasn't too concerned with what they wrote about, just that it was geared towards their audience.

"The topic of this article can be pretty elastic . . ." Hermione started things off.

"How could we write a whole article on 'pretty elastics'?" Luna asked curiously. "And how could we use them for defense?"

"Let me put it another way." Hermione backpedalled.,

"Red garter belts?" Harry muttered as he walked past the door.

After he'd gone, Hermione tried again, "What I mean is there aren't any hard and fast requirements on this article."

"Hermione, at least for the interim, could you avoid any phrases like 'hard and fast'? I can understand your mind might be in the gutter; it makes it difficult for those of us who are still pure, but want to get
into the gutter and join you."

IIIIIIIIII

Snape staggered towards the Leaky Cauldron. He was going to get drunk and tomorrow he was going to start on his campaign of revenge! Turnhim into a squib, would they? They'll pay. They'll all pay!

It was his secret! Not even Voldemort knew about it. His! His! Voldemort! That bastard! He didn't come to rescue him. Neither did Dumbledore! No matter. They would both be subject to his bloody vengeance!

He smiled as he staggered towards the Cauldron. It was a few miles from St. Mungos, and it had taken him hours to get there. His legs didn't work too well any more. But it didn't matter. He was going to get drunk, and tomorrow it would all be over. Gone! All of them gone! Every witch and wizard in the world. It would be glorious. He might want to go back to St. Mungos to watch the chaos! Yes, that would be fun. He remembered the day like it was yesterday.

flashback

"Snivilus!"

"It's Severus, father."

"Do you see that bottle on the dresser?"

"Yes father."

"Open it and pour it out the window."

"Why?"

"It's my last request. Do it!"

Snape picked up the decanter with the plastic seal holding the top. These muggle chemistry tools! Alway glass. Why didn't they use unbreakable, normal, metal cauldrons like normal people?

He walked to the window, opened it and leaned out. He slipped the beaker into his pocket, unopened and returned to his dying father.

"It's done, father."

"HAHAHA. My final gift to you and your accursed mother! Do you know what you've done? Let me tell you. For years I've used that blood I've drawn from you and your mother trying to isolate what makes you magical. And I finally found it!!

"Well, since I was already employed by the military creating biological weapons, I modified one. You just released a germ that will only attack witches and wizards and will be one hundred percent fatal. You just killed yourself boy! ARRGGGGGurp."

And with that, the muggle died.

and flashback

Tomorrow, he'd get the beaker and empty it. He'd have his revenge!

Damn! It was still several blocks to the cauldron. He limped on.

Meanwhile in the Leaky Cauldron, unaware of the doom limping down upon them, the good bye party for Tim was going strong. Tonks handed Tim another drink and glanced at the door. Almost midnight. Where was Bob? Tim was getting ready to leave. There he was!

"Bob! You got it?"

"Right in the car. Want me to bring it in?"

"One moment," She said, pulling out a bow from her pocket. "Tim, I got you a going away present. It's not much, just a snack for your trip. Hang on before you go, I'll get it."

"I'd better help help you, Tonks. It's a little heavy," Bob said, opening the door for her.

She walked out to Muggle London and ran right into a tall, twitching man.

"Out of my way, you clumbsy oaf," Snape said, as he continued into the bar. Tonks shook her head and and started to stand.

"How rude!" Bob exclaimed, helping the young lady up. She looked around, but didn't see the bow anywhere. She poked her head back in the bar to see if she dropped it there.

Tim, who had been anxious to get going waved to her. She noticed the bow stuck to the man struggling in Tim's tentacles. Tim activated the portkey and disappeared while the assembled co-workers and dark bunnies sang "For he's a jolly good fellow!"

Bob stepped next to Tonks and asked, "What are we going to do with a quarter cow? I certainly ain't got room in my fridge."

"Barbecue?"

"Barbecue," he agreed.

IIIIIIIII

"Shall we try out that hot tub then?" Luna asked eagerly. "As a reward for all our hard work."

"So long as we're all wearing bathing suits," Hermione said slowly.

"Agreed," Luna said quickly. Without letting Hermione respond, she dashed out of the room. "And no peaking." Luna said as the door slammed.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Hermione said dryly. She and Harry changed and stepped into the extra large cauldron.

"How do I look?" Luna asked as she walked back into the room.

"Your bathing suit looks painted on Luna."

"It is." Luna stepped in and closed her eyes in pleasure.

"Luna," Hermione said as the suit began dissolving.

"Yes Hermione?"

"Was that water soluble paint you used?"

"Why yes, I believe it was," Luna said after a moment of thought. "Why do you ask?"

"Never mind."

"Ok." She reluctantly got out a few minutes later.

"Leaving already?" Hermione asked.

"It's not healthy to stay in too long," Luna explained, "and we have an early day tomorrow."

"Ok Luna."

Luna left the room to change and came back a few minutes later on her way out of the house.

"Don't forget," Luna admonished, "we have a busy day tomorrow so get plenty of rest."

"We won't Luna."

"And don't stay in there too long," Luna continued. "Like I said, it's not healthy to spend too much time in hot water."

"Fine Luna."

AN: The ongoing list of people that contributed to this fic without whom, it would not have been nearly as good . . . one might go so far as to say it would be quite bad: nonjon, Ed Becerra, ausfinbar, David Wangen, neil.reynolds, Ben Russell-Gough, dogbertcarroll, hattenjc, the caitiff, AlanP, Lone Wolf, meteoricshipyards, Shawn Pickett, Morris Rague, luinlothana, Treck, Drake, David Brown, Moshehim, Arthur Hansen, Marneus Calgar, Goblin214, Chris LeBron, khadon99, Shawn Pickett, tekobaka, Freddie, Musings of Apathy, ubereng, Brian Arcis, Shalon Wood, D.J. Thorens, Fenris, Pelel, peterson9803, Andrew Joshua Talon, shinji the good sharer, and everyone on my yahoo group. They gave me scenes, ideas, and all sorts of other things. Tell me if I missed you so I can add to this list. Another thanks goes to meteoricshipyards who wrote the majority of the continuing adventures of the tentacle monster as well as several others. Anything I wrote on that sub plot was fairly minor so kudos. And still another goes to neil.reynolds who wrote a large number of scenes. Yet another goes to The Resident who was good enough to do a bit of editing and caught several of my mistakes. Still more go to Andrew Joshua Talon who wrote much (most) of the subplot with Narcissa, Remus, and Draco.