Chapter Twelve
The afternoon was drawing on.
Myoume rested her hands against the window of the farmhouse's back chamber, gazing sightlessly out at the grounds beyond as she struggled to put events together in her mind. Beneath the shade of one of the big willow trees, Hikari and her companions had settled to talk and eat, but even the mingled sound of their voices carrying across the grounds did not penetrate her thoughts.
She sighed heavily, turning back towards the bed as her gaze rested on the pale form that lay there, his beautiful amethyst eyes still closed despite all of Chichiri's best attempts to rouse him. Sweat beaded his brow, and gently Myoume dipped the white strip of cloth into the bowl of water Meikyo had brought to the chamber earlier, wringing out the excess liquid as she placed it gently against the Meihi's chalk-white skin.
He did not stir, lost somewhere deep in a fever induced stupor, and something about his lack of reaction further deepened Myoume's lingering gloom.
"I've been so stupid." She murmured. "I didn't put the pieces together in the right way. I'm sorry, Byakko. If I'd paid closer attention to Aoi's words earlier...I should know better than to jump to conclusions about people. My judgement is no better than anyone else's if I stray away from Toroki's sight to make my assessments. And that it should have been Miramu...to do something like this so deep into Kounan..."
She faltered, closing her eyes as she remembered the look on her brother's face when they had encountered one another in the clearing.
"He looked upset. Not annoyed, but distressed by seeing me. Just as he did when we met in the shrine in Sairou." She realised. "Does he hate the sight of me so much as that? Or does he just not like witnesses to his dirty work? That first time he killed Jin and I could not prevent it. This time..I didn't see it this time until after the deed was done. Is that because I was so adamant on following my own assumptions? Did I just not listen - could I have prevented this?"
A faint murmur from the bed startled her out of her thoughts and she opened her eyes, glancing at the patient as she did so. For a moment the man's eyelids fluttered, then they once more lay still, and as Myoume gently removed the now warm towel from the Meihi's brow, she realised with a jolt that his breathing had quickened considerably within the last half an hour. Setting the cloth aside, she brushed her left hand against his cheek, registering that his fever had risen once more.
"Perhaps it would have been kinder to let Miramu have his way." She reflected sadly. "To end it quickly...not like this. I'm sorry, Hyoushin. I don't know how to cure you of this poison. What it is - even that I don't know. I wish I did."
As if in answer to her words, Hyoushin let out another incoherent murmur, shifting slightly beneath the woven blankets and Myoume's breath caught in her throat as she waited for the silent form to stir. And yet his eyes remained closed, and her heart sank as she realised that it had simply been the effects of his fever.
"You can't hear me." She murmured. "I don't know where you are, but it's not here, is it? Whatever this toxin is, it's powerful stuff and it's got a good hold on you now."
She drew her hand back, eying him for a moment as he shifted a second time, a faint whimper of what sounded like fear passing his lips. This time his eyelids opened slightly, revealing the unusual amethyst eyes beneath, but as soon as she saw them Myoume knew that Hyoushin was still wrapped in the hallucinations of fever. His gaze glittered with the mad brilliance of delerium and as he flung out his right hand towards her she let out an exclamation, jerking back as she felt the scarred, pale fingers close around the sleeve of her gown. More words spilled from his lips, and though they were incoherent and unclear, the tone of them was not. Myoume's heart wrenched as she registered the sudden flicker of fear in the tribesman's expression, swallowing hard as she saw the shimmering of tears in the Meihi's violet gaze.
"You're scared of something." She said softly, getting down on her knees beside the bed as she resisted the urge to pull away from his clammy, desperate grasp. Instead she slipped her own gloved fingers into his, squeezing his hand reassuringly as she reached her other hand up to brush the sweat-damp wisps of hair from out of his face. "Hyoushin, it's all right. It's just the fever...please, calm down. You can't give in to this...whatever it's making you see isn't real. It's just a delusion...you have to fight against it."
Hyoushin twitched and shifted again, murmuring something under his breath, and the plaintive, desperate note tugged against Myoume's heart as she realised how childlike the man's words sounded.
"A frightened child...calling for help." She whispered. "That sits so much at odds with you, Hyoushin...your calm, impassive, cold exterior...who are you, then, that when your guard is down you can submit to such terror? And how can I snap you out of it? Chichiri's not here - he's gone to speak to Tasuki and I said I'd take care of you till he returns. But at this rate...at this rate you're going to frighten yourself to death. You have to fight against it...somehow. You have to, Hyoushin. This is not the real you...this isn't how you are. You're the man who's raised Aoiketsu to be the man he is now. For his sake at least, you have to fight this."
There was no response, and Myoume knew that the tribesman had not heard a word of what she had said. And yet his grip on her did not lessen, as if somehow she had become his anchor in a world of fear and pain. She sighed, resting her free hand against his chest as she felt the racing, pounding beat of the man's heart against his ribs. The quickening of his breathing and the sweat that ran down his face were indications not just of fever, she realised, but of fright, and that if she did not do something, it would be terror and not poison that spoke for his life.
"This poison causes you to hallucinate and you can't find your way out." She mused. "Dammit, then I...what else can I do? I can't just sit back here..I have to..."
She faltered, glancing around her to make sure noone else was in the room. Then, very carefully, she unclasped Hyoushin's fingers from around her right hand, setting his fist down against the bedcovers as she slowly slipped off her black-weave glove. For a moment she gazed at her hand, eying the glittering white mark of Toroki that burned against the tip of index finger. Then she took a deep breath into her lungs, closing her eyes as she once more slid her fingers into the patient's clammy grasp.
At once she felt like she was drowning, as pictures, emotions and sounds all washed over her at once, and she gasped, fighting the urge to draw her hand back as she struggled to get a grip on her wits. For a moment it seemed like she had been scattered far and wide across this expanse of confusion that was the inside of Hyoushin's mind, and as a second wave of emotion washed over her, she forced herself to calm down, fighting to detach herself from the panic and terror of the man who lay before her.
His guard was completely down, she realised, the fever having rendered him completely undefended against her intrusion, and she took a deep breath, calming herself further as she gently pieced the fragments of her thoughts back into one cohesive form. Carefully she raised her own shields, blocking out the flurry of fear and panic that battered against her senses, and as she did so, she found the melee of images clearing for the first time as she became more and more aware of Hyoushin's fever driven thoughts.
As she did so, pain stabbed through her heart and she flinched back, taking in the scene around her with a growing sense of horror and dismay.
A small boy sat huddled in a corner of a crowded carriage, his knees hugged tightly to his chest as tears streamed down his face. All around him, other children of varying ages were similarly crammed in, many crying and screaming for their parents, but although he did not stop crying, the young boy who had first caught her attention did not make a sound. His thick silver hair was tousled and loose around his face, and in the depths of his amethyst eyes she saw a mixture of hopelessness and dazed devastation. With a jolt, she registered the stain of blood on his clothing, and her heart caught in her throat.
"Hyou...shin?" She murmured, but the boy did not look up, and Myoume realised that she had not yet gone deeply enough into the Meihi's thoughts to be able to penetrate them completely.
The carriage jerked to a halt, sending many of the children falling on top of one another with screams and yells of terror. Only the pale boy in the furthest corner did not react as the back of the wagon was flung open, a brawny man framed by bright sunlight glaring in at them as he eyed each in turn. With a word to his companion, he began hauling the youngsters out one at a time, eying them up as if they were animals sent to market before tossing them aside on the hard ground and moving on to the next one.
When he reached the young Meihi boy, he smirked, touching the boy's face as he said something too soft for Myoume to hear. The boy did not react, and like the others, he was pushed aside, scraping his knees and elbows as he fell.
"A slave market." Somewhere deep within her consciousness, Myoume realised what she was seeing, and horror flared in her heart once more. "Delusions...these aren't delusions! These are memories...I've broken into his past, and I'm trespassing all over it! But I can't help it - I've come this far now and I have to go further. Hyoushin, I'm sorry - but if it helps you even a little bit...I have to push deeper."
She closed her eyes, pressing her index finger more firmly against Hyoushin's skin as she forced her thoughts to penetrate even further into the Meihi's mind. As she did so, fragments of other memories flickered past her - the blood-soaked corpse of a man falling before his family, the burning of a village...the piteous begging of a young girl as her brother ran back towards the flames. Despite the fact the children spoke in the unfamiliar Meihi tongue, Myoume found she was able to understand everything that was said, and the plaintive cries of the small girl brought tears to her eyes as they grew fainter and fainter.
"Hyoushin." She murmured. "This is what you're afraid of. The things in your past that you've buried deep within your heart. The fever's brought them all out, hasn't it? My brother...what has he done to you, forcing you to suffer this way?"
Even as this thought crossed through her mind, a plaque loomed large before her, carved in stone with the unfamiliar writing of the snow tribe engraved carefully against the black background. Although she had never seen Meihi writing before, Myoume found that, looking at it through the veil of Hyoushin's consciousness she could read the words as clearly as if they had been written in Kanji, and as she absorbed the words, her heart clenched.
"Lilaihi." She whispered. "Your true self...this is you, isn't it? Hyoushin is an illusion - a mirage. He's just the façade of who you've become. But this...this is your real identity. And this...these characters...I understand now. This is a memorial, isn't it? For the people you loved and lost. And yet...all these thoughts are swirling around your mind, interspersed with memories of the events. How can I even begin to suppress them, when they're beginning to gnaw away at my heart, too? I have to focus - to rationalise my thoughts and keep myself together. You need me to - I can't be distracted, not even by the horror of your childhood. I've invaded your mind and your privacy - I must at least take some good out of doing so."
She pulled together the drifting wisps of her consciousness, focusing them into one strand of white light as she pored deeper into the core of Hyoushin's consciousness, hunting for a memory that caused him less pain. All around her she was aware of the burning heat of the man's fever and the faint calls for help that the stricken man let out from time to time. Now she understood why they had seemed like a child's call - they were the pleas of an orphaned slave for someone to rescue him from his fate.
"And noone did." She reflected sadly. "Not until the Kaiga family were all killed. Aoiketsu said that Kintsusei-sama saved you from that life...how could I doubt your loyalty to him, then? If he was the one who heard your call and rescued you from this hell? I understand a lot more now. A...a lot more."
At this juncture, her thread of white light locked onto something hidden deep within Hyoushin's thoughts, and she coiled her magic around it, pulling it firmly forward as she carefully moulded it into a solid, coherent image. A woman stood in the centre of the picture, a young girl of two or three cradled in her arms, and at her feet, two small boys played - one aged about eight, and the other no more than five. The woman's features were kind and gentle, her violet eyes alive with spirit and affection, and as Myoume reached out towards the image, she felt the glow of warmth that emitted from it.
"This is a happy time." She decided, relief flooding her heart as she realised she'd found her anchor. "A time before the horrible things happened to him and his family. If I can bring him to this place...then he'll surely calm down. If I can only suppress the nightmares and replace them with this - with his mother, because it's her he's calling for in his delirium. It's her that he seeks...perhaps if I can make him see her, it will help him recover...at least a little bit. He has no defence against this poison except his own will and strength, so I have to help him somehow."
Gently she coated the memory in her spiritual magic, bringing her own thoughts together as she twisted the blaze of white light into the form of a person. As she did so, she felt fatigue begin to creep over her body, and she muttered a curse, forcing herself forward as she tried to ignore how much energy she had already expended. Never before had she tried so hard or for so long to invade another's thoughts and consciousness, and even though the Meihi's defences were completely down, it was becoming increasingly more difficult separating her thoughts and feelings from Hyoushin's own.
"I'm personally involved." She realised with a jolt, as she succeeded in gathering her wits, redoubling her efforts as she sent flares of magic back in the direction of Hyoushin's dark memories. "This man...I have a connection to him. The one I cross paths with many times...Hyoushin of the East. The name has deceived me...that's all. Hyoushin is not your true name. That is not your true self. You are Lilaihi. The Meihi characters for Man and Peace, scribed on that plaque...that is who you are. The one who I will meet - the one in whom I should put my trust and faith...have I allowed you to be killed because of my blindness? If it takes all of my strength, somehow, I'm going to use my magic to help you. Even if I can't cure you, I'm not going to let you carry on suffering like this. If you must die, Hyoushin, I'll make sure you have some peace first. It's my way of saying I'm sorry...even if, in the end, it's not enough."
At that moment she saw the small child once more, dressed only from the waist down as the rain beat down around him, soaking his skin and ragged clothing both in a relentless onslaught of sharp water shards. And yet, the boy's big, amethyst eyes were fixed on a shadow that loomed over him, a cruel leather-thonged whip in the man's hands as he advanced on the boy menacingly. As the brawny slave-keeper raised the whip, Myoume realised that the child's back was already red raw, and that it was not only rainwater but also blood that ran off his pale skin onto the ground below.
Anger flared through the prophet's heart and she dove forward, throwing caution to the wind as she threw all of her psychic energy into Hyoushin's memories, placing herself forcibly between the boy and the man with the whip. As she did so, the cold, wet tip of the implement came down against her skin, and although it was only a delusion and she was not really there, Myoume let out an involuntary gasp of pain at the sudden sensation. As she did so, however, she realised that she had managed to break through into the deepest recess of Hyoushin's mind, and the knowledge gave her her second wind. She turned to the boy, who stared at her in uncomprehending silence, and slowly she held out a hand to him, slipping her spectral fingers around his small, rain-soaked ones.
"It's all right." She whispered, knowing that somehow he would understand her, and hoping that it would be enough. "This isn't where you should be. This is the past. This is over, now. You don't need to feel these things here, you know. This memory is over...this man can't keep hurting you. I won't let him do that any more."
The boy blinked at her, making no attempt to speak, and Myoume knew that Hyoushin was too weak to fight against her will. A flicker of guilt surged through her as she grasped the youngster firmly by both hands, engulfing him in her magic as she gently reordered the Meihi's thoughts, bringing forward the memory of the happy family scene as one by one she suppressed the other illusions back into the depths of Hyoushin's consciousness. Then, once sure she had isolated each one, she placed her hand gently against the child's brow.
"Sleep now." She whispered. "You're tired, and you need to rest. It will all be well, when you wake."
The boy stared at her for a moment, and Myoume thought she saw a faint flicker of recognition in his amethyst gaze. Then it was gone, and slowly he closed his eyes, allowing her to cast her spell over him as he sank deeper into her trance. As he did so, Myoume felt the flood of panic and fear that had surrounded her begin to wane, and she let out her breath in a rush, relief washing over her as she realised she had succeeded.
"I've done all I can." She murmured. "And I need to get out of here before I lose myself completely. This place...is somewhere I don't want to come again. To trespass here...was a bad thing to do. But I couldn't let him suffer like that."
She focused her thoughts, forcing them back into her own mind and body as slowly she once more became aware of her physical form and carefully she drew her index finger away from Hyoushin's skin, taking a shuddering breath of air into her lungs as she struggled to regain her wits. Slowly she opened her eyes, resting her hands against the bed to steady herself as her seiran eyes darted towards the patient. He was breathing more evenly, she realised, and she let out her breath in a rush, nodding slowly.
"He's sleeping peacefully." She realised, as a wave of dizziness washed over her. "Oh, but that was...was tough. All of those things...you've really been through so much, and I shouldn't have seen any of it. I had no right..."
She closed her eyes again as tears overwhelmed her, streaming down her cheeks now that the pressure was off and her emotions flooded through her body.
"You're my man of peace." She whispered. "I didn't realise it - Hyoushin is a Chinese name - but your Meihi name...that's what it means. You're him - the one I'm supposed to trust in. And instead I've let this happen...I'm sorry, Hyoushin. I'm so, so sorry. For Miramu, for my own stupidity...have I jeopardised everything because of my foolishness? Have I cost you your life because I was blind?"
She cast another glance at the sleeping figure, suddenly finding the room stifling and claustrophobic as she remembered the images that had assailed her during her time within Hyoushin's psyche. She took a shuddering breath, dashing away her tears but yet more fell in their place and eventually she gave up trying to check them, curling up against the wall as she buried her head in her arms. Her own emotions had been ripped raw by the effort of what she had done, she knew that - but it was the feeling of helplessness that hung most heavily over her head as she submitted to her doubt and grief. Whether Hyoushin's panic had been abated or not, she knew that whatever poison her brother had used was still rife in the Meihi's body, and no matter what she did, she could do nothing to remove it.
"As Miramu said." She spoke the words aloud, taking no comfort from hearing the emptiness of her own voice. "I can't change things that have already been done. Even if I can see them, damn it all."
"Myoume?"
The sound of a voice jerked her head from her arms as she started from her reverie, staring uncomprehendingly at the intruder as she struggled to compose herself.
"Myoume, what the hell's happened?" Hikari was down at her side in an instant, anxious hazel eyes going towards the sleeping Meihi as she did so. "He isn't...he hasn't...has he?"
"No...he's asleep." Myoume swallowed hard, shaking her head. "I just...Hikari, I feel so useless. So completely helpless. I can't take Miramu's actions back."
Hikari eyed her for a moment. Then, gently, she pulled her friend to her feet.
"You've been here all morning, and you need a break." She said softly. "If he's sleeping, there's nothing you can do right now, after all...right? You've had nothing to eat today and you should."
"I'm not hungry." Myoume shook her head. "I'm worried...about him."
"We all are." Hikari said pragmatically. "Aoi and Maichu especially. But this isn't like you - I've never seen you like this before."
Myoume swallowed hard, not trusting herself to answer, and as she glanced down, Hikari let out an exclamation, reaching over to pick up the forgotten black glove from the Meihi's bedcovers.
"You used your powers on him somehow, didn't you?" She asked softly. "Myoume...I don't understand, what did you...?"
"I invaded his privacy, but I had to do something." Myoume said unsteadily. "He was...I hypnotised him to sleep, that's all. I don't like...going into someone's head without their permission is a bad thing. Unforgivable. But I...I couldn't let him suffer...like he was."
She closed her eyes as fresh storms threatened, and Hikari sighed, hugging her companion tightly.
"You've worn yourself out, in short." She remarked. "In which case, you're definitely coming with me outside. Aoi and Maichu have gone to help Eiju cut firewood, because Aidou-san got all scary about cooking a meal with an empty woodshed, so it'll just be Shishi and me. You can talk to us, right? If Aoi isn't around, you won't worry him any further about Hyoushin right now."
"I can't just leave him..." Myoume protested weakly, but Hikari shook her head.
"I told you, you're coming." She said firmly. "Here...put this back on, before you get a dose of my thoughts on top of whatever you've already done to yourself...right now I don't think you could take it."
Myoume stared at Hikari in surprise, taking the glove wordlessly as she slipped it over her fingers. At her expression, Hikari smiled sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders.
"You always play oneechan to Shishi and me." She remarked. "But right now you're all over the place. And it's not like I don't know how to be a bossy big sister. I have a brother back in my world, remember. And I'm stubborn, too - so come with me, okay? You'll feel better - the air's stifling in here and it's a hot day."
Without waiting for her friend to respond, the young schoolgirl had taken Myoume firmly around the wrists, leading her forcibly out of the small back room and out onto the Ri farm grounds. Shishi was lounging against the trunk of the favoured willow tree, eating fruit, and at the sight of Myoume in tears her eyes widened.
"What did you do to her?" She demanded. "Shit, Myoume, quit leaking like that! I ain't got a clue what to do with crying people, and that's a fact!"
"Shishi, shut up." Hikari said frankly. "Myoume, sit down, okay? Just take a break. This isn't like you, and you need to calm down."
Myoume took a deep breath, running her fingers through her thick wavy hair as she did so.
"I'm sorry." She murmured. "I just...lost it for a moment or two. I couldn't help it...I'm exhausted and it's really catching up to me."
"You went delving into Hyoushin's head, didn't you?" Hikari dropped down next to her. "That's what you did, when you put him to sleep."
"No wonder you're freaked out, then." Shishi shivered. "Going into people's thoughts is not a nice habit, Myoume...and that guy's not exactly...normal."
"He's a man like any other man." Myoume snapped, and as Shishi stared at her, she sighed, shaking her head.
"Byakko knows I'm all over the place." She murmured. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I just...feel helpless. Useless. Like there's nothing I can do. Like I've made so many bad judgements lately - perhaps always. Perhaps this is all my fault after all."
"It's not your fault." Hikari shook her head. "You're just tired and reading too much into things."
"It's Miramu's fault." Shishi added.
"That doesn't make it easier." Myoume said softly. "Someone I love has done another terrible thing and I can't undo it."
"Someone you love?" Shishi snorted. "I'd give up on that if I were you. Miramu's not exactly the reciprocal affection type of guy...you're wasting your time and worry on someone who's long since crossed the line into pure evil."
"No, it's not that at all."
Myoume shook her head, impatience in her eyes. "It's not that Miramu's evil. He's never been evil. You don't understand - that's what makes this whole situation so bad."
"What do you mean?" Hikari looked startled. "I know he's your brother, but Myoume..."
"He killed Jin." Shishi said darkly. "He abducted Meikyo. And now he's felled Hyoushin - which is apparently botherin' you enough to have you in floods of tears. How much more proof do you need that the guy's a demon in human clothing?"
"No." Myoume bit her lip. "It's not like that. It never was."
She sighed, glancing at her hands, and Hikari could see the tears glittering once more on her lashes.
"Miramu was a kind person. A sensitive person." She said softly. "He was gentle, and warm, and the kind of big brother I could rely on. I adored him so much - and he was mother's pride and joy. We had a bond – maybe because we were Seishi, maybe because of my power – but we could even speak to one another telepathically – that was how strong our connection was. Back then, Miramu had so much potential - wit and intelligence and affection for those around him. It was...not the same at all, then."
"Somehow I can't see that." Shishi frowned. "That doesn't sound like the assassin we all know and hate."
"I know." Myoume sighed. "You have to understand though that it's because of those things - because Miramu was that kind of person - that he's become the one he is now. It might seem strange to you - but it's that way nonetheless. If he had been evil...if he had just been cold to the world...I'm sure it wouldn't have gone as far as this."
"You're not making a lot of sense." Hikari said quietly, settling herself more comfortably as she cast her friend a confused gaze. "Why would that happen? I don't follow at all."
Myoume hesitated. Then,
"My brother and my father never really got along." She said quietly, twisting her fingers together absently as she did so. "It wasn't strange that it should be the case - Papa was my father, but he wasn't Miramu's. The story we were always told was that Mama had been widowed...and that she'd remarried after Miramu was born. It wasn't a problem, it was just how it was. And Papa always favoured me over Miramu because I was his child, but Miramu was never jealous. He always wanted to protect me...he never let Father's attitude bother him at all."
She bit her lip.
"It bothered me more than it did him." She admitted. "I didn't like it, or really understand it. Lots of fathers take in children who aren't their own - Tasuki took in Jin, after all. But Father...he never said what it was, but there was something more to his reason for disliking my brother. Even though Miramu and I were Seishi and that was a cause for honour in our family...he still didn't accept him. But like I said, Miramu never bothered about it at all. He and I were close, and he and mother, too. He loved us and wanted to protect us. He'd say that...that that was why Byakko had chosen him. So he could protect the people who he was close to."
"So what happened?" Shishi demanded.
"My parents had an argument." Myoume murmured. "It wasn't an argument we were meant to overhear - Mother had sent us on an errand, and they thought the house was empty else I know Father would not have said the things he did. They were discussing the future of the farmstead - whether or not it would pass to my hands or to Miramu's, for he was at the right age to be properly apprenticed as an apothecary. Father wouldn't have it. He wouldn't have Miramu any part an heir to the estate...and he told my mother so in no uncertain terms. We came back and heard his reasons..."
She closed her eyes, the tears trickling down her cheeks once more.
"I had never seen my brother like that before." She whispered. "When he heard...the reason...my father would not love him."
"If you don't want to tell us, you don't have to." Hikari said hurriedly. "It's all right, you know...you've already upset yourself enough and you don't have to confide something like this if its difficult to talk about. I didn't bring you out here to make you cry all over again."
"But I want you to understand." Myoume shook her head, raising helpless dark blue eyes to her companion's worried hazel ones. "Why it is I still love him...even after everything he's done."
She sighed.
"Miramu loved my mother so much." She murmured. "It was natural that he should, since he had no affection from Father. His world revolved around her - around us. When he heard my father talking so bluntly about his conception...no, in fact, the assault that led to his conception…it was like someone had struck through him with a knife. In that one instant he learnt not only that he had been born illegitimate, but that he had been conceived by rape...by a man in the local town of Eiroku, who had taken my mother unawares and forced his attentions on her. My brother who loved my mother so much...had to hear how she had suffered in order to bring him into the world."
She buried her head in her hands.
"They tried to smooth it over, when they realised he had heard...but it was too late." She said slowly. "Miramu...in that instant, his world shattered. I never saw him lose his temper like that - but it wasn't just anger. It was fear. Panic. Guilt. So many emotions were flowing forth from him that I couldn't disentangle one from the other and I doubt that he could, either. Mother tried to reason with him, but he pushed her away and screamed at her to leave him alone. And then...then he vanished. For the first time he used his Seishi power in front of my parents...and disappeared. Everything was in such turmoil and I was so confused...my mother was crying, my father distressed...and I didn't know what to do. So I...I ran and hid in my room. But even there I could feel my brother's pain echoing against my senses. It wasn't just distress, it was betrayal, too. And try as I might, I could not reach him. It was then that I started having violent visions - I had never been alone with them before, and I don't know how much time passed while I was there, trapped in that world. It must have been some time, but I really don't know for sure."
She took a deep breath of air into her lungs, calming herself.
"The next thing I knew, there were people from Eiroku banging on the farmhouse door and claiming that there'd been a grisly murder." She said unsteadily. "That officials from the city were searching for Geiyo Miramu - the boy Amefuri - in order to charge him with the crime. Mother protested but in vain - he'd left his mark at the scene, in the form of his stellar sign. Try as they might, noone could find him. But I...I could. So when things were quieter, I slipped out of the house and went in search of him. I wanted him to come home...instead I made it worse. When he heard what I'd seen - that we'd one day fight one another - he took off and left. He shut me out of his thoughts once and for all, and though I can track his chi, I can no longer feel what he's thinking. He was gone, then. My brother."
"That's so sad." Hikari murmured.
"Even if that is true, though, it doesn't excuse him going on a murder for hire spree." Shishi said bluntly, and Myoume shook her head.
"No." She admitted. "Nothing excuses that. I think probably even Miramu knows that, deep down inside. But you have to understand what a huge event it was. Because he loved us so much - because he felt so deeply about things - it scarred him. And then, when his temper had cooled and he realised what he'd done - that he'd avenged mother's attack but slain his blood-father, I guess his doubts must have really set in. He asked me, the last time I saw him then, why it was he didn't feel guilty, if he wasn't an evil person. Why he'd killed a man and yet he was glad, not sorry that he'd done it. I was ten years old and I didn't have an answer for him - not one that he could absorb, anyway. I suppose he must have begun then, to consider himself a demon. Unredeemable. Perhaps he lost his mind...but I don't think that's it. Chichiri said he was using Ma Huang when he took Meikyo, and a man who uses a herb like that to manage his mood must still have feelings and understand right from wrong. He's just become full of bitterness, that's all. Twisted by it, I suppose. He blames Byakko for Mother's assault, because it resulted in his birth. So he denies his identity as Amefuri and he acts the way he does - as someone who causes doubt, chaos and suffering. I don't know why he does it...but I suspect...he does it simply to prove to himself that he's still alive."
She grimaced, wiping her tears away.
"Or maybe he does it to continue to punish himself." She murmured. "Maybe he's trying to find the person whose death he'll feel something for...I wonder about that. Whether or not, in the end, he's just trying to find himself again...or prove that he's a human being, after all."
"I won't forgive him for Jin's murder." Shishi said quietly. "No matter what he's been through, or what's happened to him - I can't do that, Myoume. Even if Miramu is messed up like you say...it changes nothing. He still made my family suffer, and that's not something that I can forgive. Not now and not ever."
She reached out a hand to touch Myoume's arm.
"Besides, you might be right, but you might be wrong." She added. "Even if he was once good, it doesn't mean he still is in any part. And you shouldn't let him make you suffer like this over him. That makes me angry too. I doubt he cares as much about it as you do. Noone who's killed as many times as he must have can still have any kind of conscience. Maybe he was right, when he told you he was evil. You need to let it go...it ain't good for you."
"I can't." Myoume shook her head. "This is how it is, Shishi. He's my brother, I love him. And I suppose maybe part of me hopes that one day he'll be my brother again. Even if...even if we're both dead before it happens. I...I can wait forever, if that's what it takes. I can wait any number of lifetimes, if I have to. But...I can't give up on him completely. Even though I'm Byakko's and even though I must fight him like this...he's still my brother. I can't let that tie go."
She swallowed hard, composing herself, then,
"And now I'm in a place I never thought I'd be." She added unevenly. "Caught between my brother and..."
She faltered, then,
"Shishi...Hikari...do you remember a conversation we had...in Choukou?"
"In Choukou?" Hikari frowned at the sudden shift in conversation. "At Mitsukake's grave? Or when Aoi blew his cover and revealed he was really pretty good at fighting?"
"Neither." Myoume shook her head. "About a vision...something I'd seen...when I was young and stupid."
"Seen?" Shishi's brow creased. "Like what?"
Hikari's eyes widened.
"The man of peace!" She exclaimed. "That's it, isn't it? Your mystery guy - your soul-mate! That's what you're talking about, isn't it?"
"He's not my soulmate." Myoume said bitterly. "He's not ever been anything more than a shadow in the back of my thoughts...you were the one who put that spin on it, not me."
"But that is what you're referring to?" Shishi looked confused. "What has that to do with Miramu and his bloodlust? I don't get it."
Myoume swallowed again, tracing a pattern absently on the ground as she worked out how to phrase her next words.
"I've not been driven to confide in people for a long time." She whispered. "But you two have become like family to me. Like sisters...true friends with whom I share a bond. That's true, isn't it? For both of you...you do trust me?"
"Of course, you idiot." Shishi snorted.
"Even though I'm the sister of the one who keeps causing all this trouble? Even though I couldn't save Jin?"
"You tried to save Jin." Hikari told her gently. "And you're not Miramu. Not even a bit like him, Myoume. Shishi's right. We've relied on you a lot - and of course you're part of the team. We're friends - all of us. And you can confide in us...of course you can."
Myoume chewed down on her lip, tasting blood on her tongue. Slowly she nodded her head.
"Hyoushin." She whispered. "Hyoushin is...the one I saw in those visions. He...is the...the man of peace."
Hikari's eyes widened, and she cast a glance in Shishi's direction, who shrugged her shoulders.
"Hyoushin is?" At last the schoolgirl found her voice, staring at Myoume in confusion. "He's your soul-mate?"
"I told you, that's not what it's about." Myoume shook her head impatiently. "It's clear enough now, isn't it? That the reason I saw him in that vision was all because of this. Everything...everything is because of this. Hyoushin's our ally - and I've almost gone and got him killed by not paying proper attention to everything Byakko told me. Maybe it's already too late!"
"Myoume, shut up and listen to yourself a minute, huh?" Shishi instructed, and Myoume raised an eyebrow.
"How can I shut up and listen to myself?" She demanded. "That doesn't make any sense, Shishi-chan."
"Nor does what you're saying." Shishi replied smartly. "So you saw Hyoushin - so he's the man of peace - so what? He's come here...did you see whether or not he lived or died?"
"No..."
"Did you see that he was coming here to help us in the first place?"
"Well, not exactly, but..."
"Then what the hell have you done wrong?" Shishi demanded. "You had every reason to be suspicious of Kutou's chief Commander. And now you and Chichiri have been trying to help him - dammit, this isn't like you at all. You're starting to really creep me out, you know that? Get a grip on yourself, Myoume...if Hyoushin dies, it won't be your fault. And he already told Aoi everything he could - right? An' brought Maichu to fill in any remaining gaps. Maybe that's his role in all of this anyway...did you stop and think of that? That because you didn't see any more than just that image is because there isn't any more? That his involvement ends here?"
"That's sort of cold." Hikari chided. "If that had been Jin, Shishi..."
"But it ain't Jin." Shishi shrugged. "It's a stranger. A man we don't know at all, except Aoi...I don't understand why Myoume's so badly upset by it. Even if it does suck, histrionics is a bit much."
Hikari frowned, her hazel eyes softening as she glanced at the prophet.
"Jin was a stranger to Myoume too, Shishi." She said quietly. "When he died. And we know...Anara-san told us...that Myoume's visions sometimes made her very upset. She used her power in there, on Hyoushin, somehow, to put him to sleep. That's what's upset her. Her magic. You didn't see her use it in the circus camp, Shishi - but it's hallucinogenic. I guess it's only natural that it would upset her too, sometimes, to use it."
"Shit...that's true, huh?" Shishi eyed Myoume quizzically, and Myoume nodded, drying her eyes.
"Hikari's right." She agreed unwillingly. "Using my magic is something I hate doing. The things I see - they're things I get emotionally involved in but can't change. And when I reach across and make a connection to someone, it's like my thoughts mesh with theirs. For that instant, I know everything that they're thinking and feeling. I used my power on Hyoushin to bring him some relief, that's all - not like the horrible way in which I used it in that town. But because I had to make direct contact with him, I saw inside his thoughts. That's when I realised who he was and how wrong I'd been. And because I did that...he's not a stranger to me now. You can't be a stranger to someone when you've read their thoughts like that."
Shishi sighed, slowly shaking her head.
"I don't really understand." She admitted. "But I guess I'm sorry if I was harsh."
"It's all right." Myoume managed a faint smile. "It's not your fault. And I'll be all right. I just...I guess right then I really needed people to cry to."
"Well, you have us, right?" Hikari dimpled. Myoume nodded.
"I do." She agreed. "And I feel better. Thank you. Although..."
She turned, her blue eyes clouding as she glanced across at the farm building.
"I still want him to live." She murmured. "Especially because it was Miramu's work...and because he's the man of peace. I need to know...what exactly that connection is. What kind of ally he's meant to be. I'm sure there's more I haven't perceived yet...he and I haven't even had a chance to speak except as enemies, and I'm sure now that that's not what Byakko meant at all. If that's so, he has to survive this. Somehow."
"You all seem very sombre out here." Chichiri's voice interrupted the conversation at that moment, and Myoume started, staring up at the sorcerer guiltily as he eyed her with a curious expression on his face. "Myoume-chan, you've been crying - and I thought you were staying with Hyoushin? Is something...has something...?"
He hesitated, and Myoume shook her head.
"He's sleeping." She said softly. "That's all. I just feel helpless about it...that he's hurt and it was Miramu who did it. If I'd realised a little sooner...I might have stopped it completely."
"We're not going to have that conversation again." Chichiri told her firmly, relief flickering in his ruby eye at her words. "There's no time for it, in any case. And you probably need to take a break - I'll head back and watch over him for a while now."
Myoume hesitated for a moment, then she made up her mind, nodding her head resolutely.
"There's something you should know, Chichiri." She said carefully. "Before you go back."
"Yes?" Chichiri paused, eying her keenly. "Something important?"
"Yes." Myoume gathered herself, then, "A long time ago, I had a vision about someone who would be an important ally for me...only he was obscured and I couldn't make out his features. All I had to play with were two Chinese characters which I assumed represented someone's name - the characters for 'man' and 'peace'."
"I don't follow." Chichiri looked bewildered. "What about them?"
"The person in my vision was Hyoushin, Chichiri."
"But Hyoushin's name uses the characters for 'ice' and 'heart'." Chichiri's expression became even more mystified. "Aoiketsu told me so."
"But that's not his real name - it's one the Emperor of Kutou gave him, but it's not his true identity." Myoume shook her head. "And it's his Meihi name that means man of peace. That's all."
"His Meihi name..." Chichiri trailed off, a thoughtful look flickering in his ruby gaze. "I see. And this person you saw...is definitely Hyoushin?"
"I'm certain." Myoume looked troubled. "And that he's possibly the only one who the Emperor of Kutou will listen to. That must be why Byakko made me see him so many times when I was a child. And it's definitely why his path and mine keep crossing ways. Because he's our ally...someone in whom I can place complete trust. Someone that Kutou's Emperor also trusts in. We have to find a way to save him. If one exists, we must."
Chichiri was silent for a moment, then he sighed.
"I spoke to Tasuki, but he doesn't think that using Celestial power on the man will be any help, and I think he's right." He admitted reluctantly. "The herbal remedies I've made Hyoushin swallow so far haven't done much except touch the edge of his fever, and I don't have an antidote. It's a desperate battle, Myoume...I want him to live as much as you. But I don't know if we can achieve it."
"You're not going to give up on him though, are you?" Hikari asked anxiously, and Chichiri rested his hand on her shoulder, offering her a tired smile.
"I never give up, you know." He assured her. "While there's life, there's hope, after all. If we find something to try, Hikari-chan, I promise we'll try it. Anything and everything - for Aoi's sake as much as any other reason."
He shrugged his shoulders.
"Right now, though, I'll go back to the patient." He added. "Take some time, Myoume, and make sure you get something to eat, too. If there's any change, I promise - you'll be the first to know."
Myoume sighed, nodding her head as her gaze flitted back towards the stone building.
"I'll try." She agreed. "I just wish things were clearer right now, that's all. I feel totally lost...and I don't like the sensation at all. I need Byakko's guidance more than ever...I can't help but feel that bad things are coming and that we really don't have much time in which to put everything back to rights."
The woman in white was gone.
Somewhere in the swirling mix of dreams and memories, Hyoushin struggled to grasp hold of something tangible, disorientated and lost in the wash of emotions that swelled up inside of him. Just a few moments before, he had been drowning in shadows, but then, just as he'd been prepared to submit to the lure of his nightmares, she had appeared like an angel in the mist.
He had not known her name, or how she had come to be there. Her glimmering white form indicated she was not earthly, yet somehow he had had the distinct sensation that somewhere he had met her before. Perhaps it had been the flickering memory of another life-time, he wondered absently, searching in vain for any trace of her presence in his jumbled, ragged psyche.
But she was no longer there.
From the depths of the deepest sleep, he forced himself upwards, seeking the faint twinkle of light that sparked intermittently in front of his gaze. As he pushed closer and closer, he was aware of strange, disjointed sounds and the sudden combination of burning heat and searing pain, and he gasped, momentarily stunned by the sharpness of the sensation. The images that had cloaked him in comfort and safety began to fade away as little by little he became aware that the world inside his head was not the real one, and that he existed beyond the dance of delusion that had seduced his mind into fever and panic.
He drew a shaky breath into his lungs, fighting the urge to cough as pain stabbed through his chest, spreading slowly and doggedly across his ribs as he fought to open his eyes. At first he was not able, but at length he managed it, the blur of strange colours making him feel dizzy and nauseous as everything around him span and swam tauntingly before his gaze.
He drew another breath, his chest throbbing as he did so, and as he struggled to move his limbs, he found that his normally more ready left arm suddenly seemed to weigh more than his entire body. Panic flashed through him as he realised he was unable to move it, and a fresh wave of dizziness washed over him as he jarred whatever it was that was causing him so much discomfort.
He blinked, drawing his surroundings into a rough focus as he tried to work out where he was and what had happened to him, but try as he might, he could not find anything familiar on which to focus his attentions. The room was small and unremarkable, the heavy drapes drawn shut at the window as if to block out the sun, and as he gazed at them, he became aware of how hot he was and that a raging thirst was working its way up inside of him. He parted his lips, struggling to form words but it was to no avail, as he was unable to produce more than the faintest of croaks.
There was noone else in the room with him, although at some point there must have been, for a bowl of water and a damp cloth lay on the unit near his makeshift bed, and absently he wondered who had been tending to him with so much care. A flickering memory of the woman in white danced across his senses at this, and he frowned, closing his eyes as he tried to separate reality from illusion. As he did so, a brief recollection of the archer in the forest stabbed through his thoughts and he drew breath sharply, remembering the mocking glint in Miramu's eyes and the sudden shock of pain as the arrow had made contact.
Before he could dwell on these fragments of remembrance, however, his exhaustion got the better of him, dragging him back down into the world of sleep as slowly he relinquished his grip on the reality of his surroundings. As he did so, even the pain that throbbed through his left side began to dull, and as he sank into oblivion, he saw the ghostly image of a woman watching him with troubled eyes, just beyond his reach. He tried to focus on her, but even as he did so, she faded and disappeared, and Hyoushin knew she had not been there at all.
"But earlier, she was." He mused, as he let go of his consciousness completely. "Somehow...in my thoughts. Someone tried to protect me...was it you, Bali? The maiden of the snow, defending a bloodstained Meihi soldier from his own bad memories?"
That was the last thought he had, as he fell into a deep sleep, faintly comforted by the fleeting memories of the enigmatic stranger who had jumped between him and his tormented dreams.
Had he been able to see beyond the chamber, he would have seen the Byakko prophet glance in the direction of the house, anxiety in her gaze as she touched her fingers together in instinctive prayer. Of the fact that in that brief instant a bond had been formed between them he was oblivious, and yet, somewhere deep in his fever-driven slumber he knew that the woman had not just been his imagination. Somehow that flickering realisation that he was not fighting his demons alone gave him renewed strength, and his racing pulse steadied and slowed even despite the taint of the poison as he became determined that no matter what happened, he would not give up so easily.
Someone had believed in him, after all. Someone had protected him, and now, somehow, he would repay that faith.
No matter what happened, he was going to live.