III. Blush
The second couple lay in the warm comfort of their lovers' arms, heads bent together and sheets tangled 'tween legs. One had his eyes shut, his breathing coming in an even pattern—deeply in, deeply out, blowing a warm gust against the blonde's restless face. Neither boy was dressed, a fact which the blonde was suddenly painfully aware of. He wanted to turn over, but could not for fear of disturbing his boyfriend. Instead, he listened to the silence in the house and tried not to think too much.
Mush, lying silently beside Blink, still lived at home with his parents, which Kid Blink thought was beyond adorable. His family was normal enough to make Blink's skin crawl when he first met them, but now Blink was used to them—in bed by eleven, always, and up at 7 to start the day. Their house looked like something out of a Crate & Barrel magazine, save for Mush's bedroom itself.
Even Mush's bedroom, though, was a bit too tidy and a bit too designer for Blink's tastes. The walls were painted a nondescript beige tone, and the woodwork was all painted dark green to compliment it. The furniture was in shades of beige and dark green ("Fawn and forest," Mush's mother corrected Blink whenever he called it that). Admittedly, it looked more cluttered and comfortable than usual with half of it in cardboard boxes bursting at the seams. Somehow, though, Blink longed painfully for the spotlessly clean room... the room that didn't show how soon he and Mush would be split.
Blink wasn't sure how Mush could take their pending separation so calmly—hell, Blink wasn't sure how he could even sleep, knowing it was coming. Himself, he had tossed and turned for hours earlier that night before giving in and walking to Mush's house. Even here, with Mush, he could not sleep.
Suddenly—or, rather, unexpectedly—Mush tilted his head up to look in Blink's eyes. Unsure how long Mush had been awake, Blink smiled weakly down at him. The two were suspended in the moment until Mush looked away and said, "Blinkers."
"Yeah?" Blink couldn't quite look at Mush, couldn't quite fathom the idea of being alone, couldn't quite face it.
"I'm leaving tomorrow." There was no sentiment in Mush's voice.
Blink shut his eye tight and sighed. "I know."
"Remind me—why did we decide to go to colleges across the country?" Kid Blink glanced at Mush to see him staring at the beige ceiling with his brow furrowed.
He leaned over to rest his head on Mush's shoulder and murmured, "I don't know, Mushlies, I really don't."
Silence blanketed the boys then, and they breathed deeply and in unison with each other and the rest of the world. It was an agonizing peace, a beautiful moment in which Blink could only think, Why? It was one of the biggest moments of bliss, clarity, and pain in Kid Blink's life so far, and when it was broken, he knew what had to happen.
"Mush."
"Yeah?"
"You know what we have to do?" Blink was sitting now, and looking down at Mush with thusfar unmatched intensity. (Or, at least, intensity that he hadn't had since last time they'd had sex.)
To Blink's surprise, Mush sat up so their faces were barely an inch apart and said, "Yeah." Subconsciously, Blink held his breath. He fully expected a kiss, that much he would admit, and was somewhat disappointed when he didn't get one.
"So." Kid Blink was stalling. "I'm guessing you don't want to be the one to do it?"
Mush looked at his boyfriend, looked long and hard. He didn't want to make Blink do it, but he didn't think he could do it himself. "No. I don't."
It was Blink's turn to stare at the ceiling. Although he knew it wasn't true, he said hopefully, "Well, maybe we don't have to do it. Maybe we can make it work."
Neither boy needed to say anything—they both knew it wasn't true, and they both knew the other knew it. Mush reached over and took Blink's hand. "Kid, I don't want to leave you."
"I know." Blink squeezed Mush's hand in his and leaned his head back on his shoulder.
"And I'm not going to, really. I mean, I still want to be your friend—I still want to be your boyfriend."
"I know that."
"But I can't."
"I know that, too."
They resumed silence once again. It was unusual for the pair to be so quiet—in normal circumstances, they would never run out of things to say. But really, it wasn't that they had nothing to say, but that neither one wanted to say it.
Finally, Kid Blink stood up and walked to the door. He turned back for a moment to look at his beau one last time, and then said, "Goodbye, Mush."
"Wait!"
Blink turned.
"Don't leave me!"
"Mush, I have to."
"No," Mush insisted. "You don't, you don't, we can still be friends! Please!"
Kid Blink gave Mush a long, measuring look. He smiled forlornly, then walked out the door.
Dejected, Mush watched his bedroom door click shut with unprecedented finality. "So that's how it is, bitch..." Mush ran a hand through his hair and tried to breathe. "Fuck."