:important note about formatting:
People are probably already aware of FFnet's silly new rule about dividers, and have likely noticed the fact they've erased section dividers from most existing stories on FFnet. This includes all of my writing so far (which makes me cross, because I know how to section divide, and it messes up my stories beautifully).
It is far too time-consuming and difficult with the way ffnet is set up for me to go through and edit back in all the dividers for over two million words of text. I will try to do some but for the rest, I'm sorry, they will just have to be missing in action. I have tried to edit the chapters letft to post, but I can't guarantee what will show and what won't because I already use MSword's dividers and despite that FFnet has still deleted them all from my writing.
Just so people are aware that this formatting madness is not my fault - it's just one of FFnet's bright ideas :-/
Chapter Twenty Eight
"This place is sort of eerie."
As they walked between the rows of gravestones, Hikari cast a glance around her, absorbing each memorial as she did so. "All the people important to Kutou's history are buried here? Military heroes and those kinds of things? It's so close to the palace…I guess they must be pretty important. But the Emperors…"
"The Emperors aren't buried here." Aoiketsu shook his head. "Besides, in the case of the last Emperor, there wasn't anything left of him to bury."
He looked rueful.
"Shoukitei was vaporised by my father." He added. "So that was that."
"Ugh."
Hikari shivered involuntarily, drawing her cloak more tightly around her body as a sudden chill wind seemed to whip through her. "Don't say things like that. Even if it's true, it's horrible."
"True enough." Aoiketsu acknowledged. "But so was Shoukitei. You know…Chichiri told me that he treated my father as a toy. He used him like he used the women of his harem – even though he was just a boy, and had been stripped of his family and everything he knew. Considering that…I don't blame the Shougun for wanting to get his own back. He had a lot of things to avenge, after all."
"Nakago's story is sort of sad, really." Hikari reflected. "I'm quite glad he's not here for me to meet – I think he was a dangerous person to come into contact with and I wouldn't have wanted to spend time with him. But it seems like he suffered a lot – many people in Kutou seem to have a history like that."
"No kidding." Aoiketsu said sadly. "But maybe now it can stop. People like Hyoushin-sama's tribe, or the remaining Hin that are scattered around in hiding. And other immigrants – people who come looking for prosperity because of Kutou's rich and fertile land. Everyone should be able to live peacefully, now. Thanks to you, Hikari…thanks to your coming here."
"Not just to me." Hikari pinkened, shaking her head. "Everyone…you, Shishi, Myoume, Jin, Maichu, Hyoushin-san…Chichiri, Tasuki…everyone. I raised Seiryuu in the end, and I made the wishes. But you guys got me here…so it was everybody, in the end."
"I suppose it was." Aoiketsu smiled, slipping his hand into hers as he led her through the rows to the distinctive plot belonging to his mother. Carefully he knelt at the gravesite, dusting stray leaves and dirt from it as he guided his companion down beside him.
"Okaa-sama, I've brought a friend with me to see you today." He said softly, resting his free hand on the top of the memorial as he spoke. "I haven't come to ply you with questions or disturb your rest this time – I think I understand now, all the things I didn't know before. I'm sorry, if over the years I've bothered you by always asking things and never saying thank you. But this time…I want to say that. You did a lot of things to make sure I was safe growing up, and that I learnt to do what was right for my country. You hoped I'd help Kutou – I know you did. And I've done my best, Okaa-sama. I hope you can know that, wherever you are – I've done my best."
He sighed, squeezing Hikari's fingers gently as he did so.
"And I've brought Hikari to meet you, too." He added. "She's Kutou's Miko, Okaa-sama. Seiryuu no Miko. But I don't want you to think of her that way. She's Hikari…the girl I'm in love with…and I wanted you to know her that way."
He cast Hikari a glance, and that girl blushed, shaking her head self-consciously.
"Even though you're introducing me to a gravestone, you're still making me feel nervous." She objected. "Don't be so serious about it, Aoi-kun. It's not like you're introducing me as a prospective daughter-in-law."
Aoiketsu's expression became sad, and he shook his head.
"No, I'm not." He admitted, regret in his tones. "But I wish I was, Hikari. I know you have to go back – I understand the rules and I know you don't come from here, so you can't stay. And I don't think we were wrong, deciding not to wish to Seiryuu to keep us together. Love isn't like that, after all. But I…I don't think I'll ever be able to move on from this, no matter what happens. I'll always love you, no matter where you are. And if you weren't the Miko – if you weren't…I would hope to marry you."
"Aoi!" Hikari's eyes widened as colour flooded her cheeks once more. "I'm fifteen! You're only eighteen…are you seriously saying you'd marry me, like this, if it wasn't for me being the Miko?"
"Yes." Aoiketsu said seriously. "I don't know what tied us together, but it did and it isn't going to be broken just by you going home. We both know that."
He sighed, shrugging his shoulders.
"But it can't happen, so there's no point in worrying." He added. "I just wanted you to know – if things were different, how I'd feel."
He looked at his hands ruefully.
"I said it only mattered how we felt today, since tomorrow was never guaranteed." He added softly. "But tomorrow is going to be today, soon. The day we're split up isn't far off, now. And I don't know how much time I have to make sure you remember me and everything we've done together. Even if it means we're parted – even if you love again, and marry, and have children in your world. I want you to remember meeting me, and the time we spent together. That's all."
Hikari swallowed hard, tears glittering on her lashes.
"Like I could ever forget." She managed. "Seiryuu bound us together, didn't he? It's a strong bond – it won't break that easily."
She reached up to dash the tears away, shaking her head impatiently.
"And now you've made me cry in front of your mother." She scolded. "I'm sorry, Ruiren-sama. I didn't mean to be rude."
"I'm sure she doesn't think that." Despite himself, Aoiketsu managed a smile. "I'm sure she'd just be happy to know that her son has grown up properly, that's all. And I'm sure she'd have liked you, too. I don't know much about my mother – but I'm going to ask the Commander, when he's well. I want to know, now, about the woman who gave me the Kaiga ring and chose me to be a part of Kutou's destiny. But I think, even from the little bit I do know, that she'd have been happy to meet you. I think…she would have liked that."
"I wish you could meet my parents." Hikari admitted. "But there's no way that can happen, since they can't come here and you can't go there. I hope they'd like you, Aoi. I think they would."
"Even though I'm Nakago's son?"
"I hope that they wouldn't think too much about that." Hikari looked thoughtful. "I don't, after all. Tamahome and Nakago fought in a time before we were here. Hotohori-sama and Nakago did, also. All of that is a past we're not part of…I hope they'd understand that we don't feel the same way as they did, eighteen years or more ago."
"Me too." Aoiketsu hesitated, then got to his feet, hauling her up with him. "Thank you for coming here with me, Hikari. It means a lot."
"No problem." Hikari replied. "After all, considering how limited the time we have together is – I'm glad just to spend some of it with you now."
"Shishi and Maichu were surprisingly tactful, realising that." Aoiketsu commented, and Hikari laughed.
"Maichu will fit in well on that mountain, you know." She reflected. "But you're right. That was thoughtful of them."
"I'll miss Maichu and you both, when I come back here." Aoiketsu sighed. "But life's like that, and you move on. It's better for him, this way. If he stayed here, he'd slowly go to pieces. He proved that last night, in the barracks, yelling at Bouri like I've never seen him before. Kayu's death will bother him for a long time. Here in Kutou, everything is a reminder. In the south, it will be different. Tasuki-san won't let him mope, and nor will Shishi. They operate on the same wavelength he does – and it'll help him get past it and move on."
He smiled.
"And he's a good fighter, too." He added. "Since Reikaku-zan's bandits protect a lot of vulnerable people, he'll be good at that job. Tasuki-san will probably be glad to have him, too – considering that."
"And with Jin gone, I suppose they are one bandit down." Hikari reflected sadly. "You're right. It's a good solution all round."
She rested a hand on his arm.
"But it does leave you out in the cold rather – with your best friend staying in the South and me leaving for Tokyo."
"I'll manage." Aoiketsu assured her. "Hyoushin-sama will be here, after all. And I have things to do – exams to work for, and stuff. So I'm sure it'll be all right. At first, maybe not…but in the long term…I'll be fine."
He sighed, and Hikari saw the tragic expression in his seiran eyes.
"At least, I hope so." He amended. "But in the end, I suppose, only time will tell."
He grasped her by the hand, offering her a smile as he led her in the direction of the cemetery gate.
"We should go." He added. "See if Myoume needs any moral support while Miramu's ceremony is being carried out. She might, after all, and we are team-mates. We shouldn't abandon her to face it on her own."
"No, you're right." Hikari agreed. "We shouldn't. After all, Hyoushin-san won't be able to come."
"Why would the Commander want to go to Miramu's cremation, Hikari?" Aoiketsu looked non-plussed. "The guy shot him in the side with a poison dart and wrecked his sword arm…you have some funny ideas sometimes."
"I suppose I do." Hikari reddened, realising how close she had come to revealing Myoume's secret. "I guess you're right. Sorry – it must be the divine magic, it's scrambled my brains."
"Nothing new there, then." Aoiketsu bantered, and Hikari put her hands on her hips, sending him an indignant glare.
"And what's that meant to mean, exactly?" She demanded. Aoiketsu laughed, putting his hands on her shoulders as he met her irritated hazel eyes with teasing blue ones.
"That's how I want to remember you." He admitted. "Like this, when you're full of life and energy. Even in the other world, Hikari – make sure that's how you stay, all right? The Hikari I love is the one who's kind and open – the one whose feelings are always there just by looking into her eyes. I want to keep that Hikari with me, even if just a little bit. Humour me, huh?"
"Humour you?" Hikari stared at him, and Aoiketsu nodded. Slowly and gently he kissed her, slipping his arms more firmly around her body as he did so, and Hikari did not resist him, feeling the mix of happiness and sadness whirl up within her as the tears once more glittered in her gaze.
"I love you." He whispered softly, running his fingers through her hair as he did so. "I always will, until I die. Don't forget that, okay? In Kounan, we might not have a chance to talk like this – you have a lot of people to say goodbye too, after all. So I wanted to make sure I said it now. Don't forget…that you made a soldier feel this way. Enough to make him take crazy gambles, act outside his Emperor's commands and risk being branded a traitor."
"I'll remember." Hikari gazed up at him, not making any attempt to stop the tears from flowing now as she took in the gravity in her companion's unique eyes. "I couldn't ever not, you know. You were the first guy I fell in love with, after all. Even if you do come from a total other world, and even if that does suck…you don't ever forget your first love. Right? I wouldn't ever be able to forget you, even if I wanted to."
"Good." Aoiketsu touched her cheek. "Because…Hikari, Jin was unselfish. He sacrificed himself to save you knowing that by doing so, he'd never have a chance to make you love him. I'm not like that. I'm selfish. I want you to love me – and keep me with you."
He paused, then fumbled with his finger, removing the engraved Kaiga-ke ring and holding it out to her. Hikari gazed at him uncomprehendingly, and he smiled, indicating that she should take it.
"I don't have anything that means more to me than the Kaiga ring, because Mother gave it to me." He explained, as she hesitantly did as she was bidden, running her finger over it carefully as she did so. "And because of that, I want you to have it. Because it's something that means a lot to me."
"I can't take that!" Hikari's eyes widened and she shook her head, pushing it back towards him. "Aoi, it's the only thing Ruiren-sama left you - I can't take something so precious as a keepsake!"
"You're precious to me too." Aoiketsu's eyes softened, and he cupped her chin in his hands, meeting her gaze seriously.
"I won't take it back." He added. "If you throw it away, then you do. I've made up my mind - I won't let you change it."
"But...Aoi-kun..."
"Take it, keep it, and let it remind you." Aoiketsu murmured softly. "So long as you're apart from me, I want you to have it with you. It hurts to think you might find someone else – I can't pretend I want you to do that. If I could keep you, I would…and I'm not ashamed to admit it. This is the only way I have of keeping close to you."
Hikari bit her lip, eying him for a moment. Then she sighed, reaching down to pull a thread of cord from her heavy skirt as she carefully knotted it around the ring. She paused, then slipped the resultant loop over her head, clasping the ring to her chest as she did so.
"I wouldn't forget." She said slowly. "But if that's how you feel - of course I wouldn't throw it away. It's something important from someone important to me. I'll keep it safe...no matter what. Even in my world - I will. No matter what."
She smiled ruefully.
"In my world, men give women rings when they ask them to get engaged." She added. "It's ironic that you'd give me your family ring, considering what you said before."
"Really?" Aoiketsu looked surprised. Then he returned the smile. "Then that makes it even more appropriate. Even if it can't be that kind of ring for us - it conveys my feelings properly."
"Dad will freak out when I tell him a guy gave me a ring, and talked about marriage." Hikari reflected. "In my world, people don't tend to marry until their eighteen at the least. I'm three years off that...he'd throw a fit if he knew."
"Your world really is different from this one, isn't it?"
"As different as can be." Hikari nodded.
"I suppose you'll be glad to get back, then."
"Some." Hikari sighed. "I don't know what I feel about it at the moment. But I have missed my parents and the things I know. Arina. That kind of stuff. It's just...it seems surreal. When I went back there after Jin died, it seemed...not real, somehow. Like I wasn't in the right place. But...now it's all over, maybe life really will get back to normal. Whatever that is."
"Part of me wishes I could at least see this place." Aoiketsu admitted. "But I can't."
He paused, eying her hopefully.
"But...if you ever come back to the ShijinTenchishou - to visit or whatever - you'll come see me in Kutou, right?"
"I don't think Mikos come back." Hikari looked doubtful. "I'm pretty sure it's a one way trip. That's why Mother had to have Aunt Mayo's help the last time Suzaku was summoned. She couldn't come back here herself."
"Maybe." Aoiketsu acknowledged. "But I...I suppose I want to believe that I will see you again. That this bond hasn't been generated simply because Seiryuu wanted summoning. It's too strong - I want to believe it can survive."
"I know." Hikari rested her head against his chest, uttering a heavy sigh. "But this is how it is, so we don't have a choice but to just accept it. I won't forget, though. Chichiri said memories are powerful, and I guess they are. I'm going to remember that, too…when I go back."
"In which case, there's nothing else to be said." Aoiketsu said gently. "So let's go back and find the others. Whatever happens now, after all, it'll take more than being worlds apart to fully sever Seiryuu's bond between us."
It seemed like they had been waiting forever.
Arina fidgeted against the Sukunami's settee, twisting her fingers together as she cast an apprehensive, anxious glance at her two companions. Though it was almost six o' clock and the party would be starting across town in just over an hour, it seemed a world away from the small front room and the tense, choking atmosphere as they waited for her friend's return. Inwardly she began to wish she had brought her cigarettes with her, although she knew that Taka despised the habit and that there would have been little opportunity for her to have lit one within the Sukunami home.
She let out a sigh, a faint flicker of envy stirring within her as she registered the emotion in Miaka's hazel eyes, and the strain and tension in Taka's body. If it had been her parents, she mused bitterly, they would likely not have noticed yet that she was missing. Money could not buy everything, and no matter how much of it she had always had, Hikari had managed to have something more.
"Are you all right, Arina-chan?" Miaka asked softly at this juncture, and Arina started, blushing as she realised how much she had been spacing out. Slowly she nodded, running her fingers through her thick dark hair as she did so.
"I guess I'm worried about Hikari." She said evenly. "She is definitely going to come back – right? This other place…this Kounan world she went to…she won't get hurt there, will she?"
"It's hard to say." This time it was Taka who spoke, the concern clear in his dark eyes. "Unless you've been inside it, it's hard to explain exactly what the ShijinTenchishou is like. Yes, it is a dangerous place – and as real in its own way as this one, even if the two worlds are not entirely compatible. Things can happen...bad things...but..."
He trailed off, slowly shaking his head.
"Miaka is sure her duty there is done." He said softly. "And that she'll come home. I want to trust a mother's instinct, and believe that that's the case. She's coming home...I'm sure she is."
"Me too." Miaka said quietly. "She did her duty, after all. Seiryuu no Miko belongs in this world, not that one. She'll be here. I'm sure. She'll come."
She shot Arina a faint smile.
"I'm glad you came." She added. "I know you have plans this evening, Arina...and I don't know what time Hikari might appear. But..."
"I don't care about the party." Arina said frankly, realising as she did so that her words were true. "I mean, if Hi-chan didn't go, it wouldn't be much fun in any case."
She sighed, biting her lip, then she cast Taka a hesitant glance.
"Su...Sukunami-san?"
"Yes?" Taka shot her a quizzical look. "What's up, Arina? You look like something else is bothering you."
"Sort of." Arina admitted. "I...just...you and Hikari had an argument, didn't you? I mean...something happened, when she went into this Kounan place before. I don't know what...but you called my place to find out if she was there, and you sounded freaked out. Hi-chan didn't tell me what the fight was about...she said it was a misunderstanding, because you didn't know she'd gone to the library. But I know that she'd gone to this other place, now. And there was...something else. About...about the dress...she wanted...for the...the party."
She faltered, her cheeks reddening as she dropped her gaze.
"I put her up to asking you." She whispered. "It's my fault, all of this. My fault you had that fight and she ended up in K...Kounan. Because I told her...to borrow money...from you to get it."
"Arina-chan." Miaka sounded surprised, and Arina twisted her hands together once more, nodding her head.
"I'm sorry." She murmured. "I told Hikari to...to borrow it...even if you said...no."
"Arina..." Taka's eyebrows shot up, and Arina gazed at him nervously from beneath the edges of her fringe.
"She wouldn't have been sucked into this book world place, though, if I hadn't made you mad at her." She continued awkwardly. "So if she doesn't come back safely, Sukunami-san...I...it will be...my fault. Won't it?"
Taka pursed his lips, then slowly he shook his head.
"No." He said evenly. "Hikari is old enough to know right from wrong, and to act on it, too. Whatever happened that night was between her and me...and in the end, her and Suzaku. That is something that you couldn't have known about, and which you can't blame yourself for. Most likely Hikari would have been sucked into the book one way or another - whether after a fight or not. She's Seiryuu no Miko, after all. If that was her destiny, well, there's nothing we could have done to prevent it. Any of us. She was chosen...that's all there is to it."
"Just like I was." Miaka murmured. "Taka's right, Arina-chan. But thank you for being honest with us."
She smiled.
"We're not cross with Hikari any more." She added. "But it proves you're a better friend than you think you are, wanting to own up to your part in it."
"Hikari's lucky." Arina sighed, shaking her head. "She has you both, and you care what happens to her so much. I say things, sometimes, because I'm jealous of her having that. My parents don't really care whether or not I'm around...Hikari has no idea how much she really has."
"Perhaps none of us realise the things we have till they're not there." Taka said frankly, and Arina saw the faint glitter of tears in Miaka's hazel eyes.
Before anyone could respond to his remark, however, the house gave a tremendous judder and Arina let out a yell as the electric lights flickered wildly on and off. She grabbed hold of the settee, her heart in her mouth as she half-wondered whether Tokyo had been hit by one of Japan's not infrequent earthquakes. If so, she reasoned absently, it must have scored a big hit on the Richter scale, and her heart skipped a beat in her chest as she contemplated the threat of the aftershock.
Across the room, however, Miaka was on her feet, eyes wide with hope and disbelief.
"Hikari!" She exclaimed. "Hikari...it's her, I know...I know it is!"
"Me too." Taka reached out to grasp his wife's fingers, squeezing them tightly in his as he did so. "She's come home...and with a bang, by the sounds of it. I wonder if her room is still standing - if she came back there, maybe I should go up and look. After all, she might be hurt, or tired, or..."
"No need." Arina said softly, her eyes big as she stared in disbelief in the direction of the salon doorway. "Sukunami-san...look...!"
As one person, Taka and Miaka turned, seeing a dusty, dishevilled figure standing there watching them, tears streaming down her face as she took in her surroundings. Without a word she flung herself on her parents, hugging them tightly as she buried her head in Miaka's shoulder.
"Hikari." Miaka stroked her daughter's thick dark hair gently. "Welcome home...welcome back."
"I did it." Hikari raised a tear-blotched face to her mother's. "I raised Seiryuu and I saved that world. I did it, Mum...I..."
She trailed off, seeing Arina standing watching her with a mixture of hesitation and uncertainty, and she frowned, eying Miaka in confusion.
"Arina...?"
"She knows." Miaka explained gently. "She saw you disappear the last time, and I explained to her...she's been waiting for you to come home, too."
"Ari...?" Hikari's eyes widened, and she disentangled herself from her mother's embrace, hurrying across to grasp her friend's hands in hers. "You...waited for me? Here? To come home?"
"Well, the party'd be pretty sh...bad if you weren't coming." Arina said flippantly, although she could feel the tears in her own eyes as she regarded her friend. "So I decided to come pick you up myself. No big deal."
"Ari." Hikari hugged her tightly, and Arina laughed.
"Hey, what's all this?" She demanded. "You're acting like you haven't seen me in weeks. It was yesterday morning, you ape...why the long time no see routine?"
"I have been away weeks." Hikari retorted, meeting her friend's gaze. "In that world, I've been away ages. Ages and ages and ages...time moves differently there. Didn't Mother tell you that?"
"Maybe she did." Arina admitted. "But still...it's sort of hard to grasp. And look at you..."
She held her friend at arm's length, eying her critically.
"What are you dressed as?" She murmured. "You look like something from a cultural festival gone nuts. Your dress is...sheesh, people in this other world, they all dress like that?"
"Yes." Hikari agreed, reaching down absently to brush dust from her skirt. "I had to blend in, after all. But Aidou-san made it for me...so I want to keep it. This time. This one...doesn't have blood on it."
She bit her lip, turning back to meet her parents' gazes.
"I'm sorry I made you worry so much." She said softly. "But I...I did what you did, Mum. I saved Kutou, like you saved Kounan. And I...I'm glad that I did."
"I'm glad you did too." Miaka assured her. "I knew you were stronger than you thought you were, musume-chan. You can do whatever you put your mind to, you know."
"I know." Hikari nodded her head. "I've learnt a lot of things from being there."
She swallowed hard, reaching up to wipe away her tears.
"Part of me didn't want to leave." She admitted. "In that world, I was more useful than I've ever been before. But...you guys are here, and I missed you all so much. You too, Ari. I'm glad you know and I don't have to lie to you any more. I don't like...I don't like lying to people."
"Me either." Arina admitted. "And...I'm sorry too, Hi-chan. I shouldn't have tried to persuade you to take money from your parents."
"Ari...?" Hikari stared, and Arina blushed.
"I told them it was my idea." She added. "I thought it was my fault, if you got hurt in that world."
"It's not your fault. I was just stupid to listen to you." Hikari told her firmly. "But I'm not going to be so easy to persuade now, so you better get used to that."
"All right, I get the picture." Arina eyed her affectionately. "But one thing I will ask. It's Saturday night - are we going to make it to this party, or aren't we?"
"Party?" Hikari looked blank, and Arina sighed, slowly shaking her head.
"You really have been away forever, haven't you?" She asked resignedly. "The party we've been talking about for ages. Haru-kun - remember?"
"Haru..." For a moment Hikari's eyes became sad. Then, slowly, she shook her head.
"I don't really feel like going to a party." She admitted. "I'm sorry, Ari. I'm not that bothered about Haru or what he sees me wearing. In fact, I don't think...I don't think I like him that much after all."
Arina eyed her for a moment. Then she sighed, shrugging her shoulders.
"After this, I'm not sure I'm in a party mood, either." She admitted. "So what say we skip out on it? You can still come back to mine, if you like - we can still have a sleepover, and you can tell me all about this world of yours. And I want all the details. Including any hotties you met - if you forgot about Haru, you must've met a few in your time there, right?"
Hikari flushed a deep red, her hand instinctively going to something hanging around her neck, and Taka raised his eyebrow.
"Hikari?" He asked softly, and Hikari's colour deepened as she shook her head.
"It's not like that." She murmured. "I mean, there was someone...and he's someone I'm never going to forget about. But...I...we...it wasn't anything bad, Dad. I promise. I didn't do anything you would ground me for...I swear."
Taka stared at her for a moment, then he laughed, meeting Miaka's gaze with a rueful one of his own.
"I'm glad to hear that." He reflected. "And if you girls are having a sleepover - why not stay here? Unless you have to get back to yours, Arina, you're more than welcome to stay here in Hikari's room. I think she'd like that, and we don't really want to let go of her for the whole night, now she's back where she belongs."
"Do you mind?" Hikari eyed Arina doubtfully, and Arina shook her head.
"It's a deal." She replied. "I told you. I want to know everything about this Kounan place and the people there - and I mean everything!"