Chapter Thirty Two
"Well, this is it, you know."
As the haze of Suzaku's magic glimmered and died from around the edges of Chichiri's charmed kesa, the sorcerer cast his companion a glance, sympathy and regret glittering in his ruby gaze as he absorbed the demeanour of the girl beside him. She had not spoken much, he reflected, since they had eaten breakfast, and had fallen into a pensive, wistful reverie almost as soon as he had told her it was time for them to go. Although her magic had not flared up any during the night, Chichiri was not fooled by her pretence of calm, knowing that the pale face and shadowy eyes masked a child struggling tooth and nail to confine the wildly flickering spirit that surged within her.
Hikari did not answer him, and Chichiri sighed, reaching out to put a hand on her arm.
"I'm sorry, Hikari-chan." He said softly. "I know I keep saying it, but it's true."
Hikari pursed her lips, and for a moment the silence continued. Then she let out a heavy sigh.
"It isn't something you've done." She said quietly, though Chichiri could detect a faint wavering in her tones. "I decided to come back. You said you wouldn't force me and you haven't – so don't apologise for it. It isn't…your fault."
"I'm sure that doesn't make it any easier for either one of us." Chichiri said evenly, and Hikari nodded slowly.
"True." She acknowledged. "But…when you explained it, it made sense. And now…for the last couple of days, I've felt like I was fighting something inside of me. I didn't know how to put it into words, but I knew something was different. Then what happened at school – I can't be in that world when I'm like this. Now I'm back here, it's calmed. I don't feel so on edge. But…"
She faltered, lowering her gaze, and Chichiri knew she was fighting tears.
"I'm going to miss them so much." She whispered. "I didn't realise how important they all were until now."
Chichiri was silent for a moment. Then he reached out to take her by the arm, gently leading her along the forest-lined pathway that led to the Eastern Village.
"It's human nature not to know what you have until you don't have it any more." He reflected honestly. "But you have memories, and they'll help in time. Besides, they're not dead, Hikari. It isn't that you won't ever see or hear from them again. I promise to do all I can to help you manage your magic so that you can go there and be stable in that environment. Even if it's only for short visits – it isn't a permanent goodbye."
He offered her a smile.
"And you aren't alone here." He added. "Aidou and I will make absolutely sure of that, you know. This place – my village – you can consider it your home as long as you need to."
Hikari managed a faint smile in return, nodding her head.
"I'm glad about that." She admitted. "You've been kind to me, even right at the start when I was rude to you about your scar. I'm glad that I've people like you and Aidou-san to fall back on, because there's so much I don't know, here. I can't read or write the language properly. I don't understand the political system and I still don't like horses. I have a lot of things to get used to…a lot of things to learn."
"Yes." Chichiri agreed. "But doing so will prove a distraction, I hope, from the more immediate fact of being separated from your home."
He eyed her keenly.
"Besides, I think I might take you to the palace again, when you're a little more settled in." He added. "Reizeitei-sama will be glad of your company, and I think that I might be able to persuade him to engage a suitable tutor to help you learn your letters and other things. If you wanted, of course. It's up to you – if you feel like Aidou does, you don't have to bother with being literate beyond the basic level. But since you're a student in your own world, I thought…and I'm not really qualified to teach you anything other than magic, even though I school Eiju and Meikyo in various kanji."
He shrugged.
"Suzaku no Shinzahou is potentially a valuable asset to Reizeitei-sama and his court." He added. "As such, she should have a proper education – so think upon it, won't you?"
"At the palace?" Hikari looked taken aback. "Chichiri, right now, I…"
She trailed off, and Chichiri nodded.
"I know." He said evenly. "But nothing has to happen right away. You have a lot of time, Hikari. Don't run into anything. Take time to think and see how you feel."
He smiled.
"I only mentioned Reizeitei-sama because I think he might well understand your loneliness." He added. "He's experienced enough of it over the years, after all. You and he are alike – both children of Seishi who can no longer guide you. I've done my best to help him, and to remain a friend in a world where politics overtake everything else. You're not from that world, so perhaps you might do the same – I think you may be good for one another, when you've had a little time to heal."
"I see." Hikari's expression became thoughtful. "I suppose that makes sense. After all, I don't want anything from Reizeitei-sama. I don't want to marry him, or get any kind of special favours. Perhaps you're right. Maybe…when I've settled…I will do as you say."
She sighed.
"If I ever settle. Right now I don't feel like I can, but I suppose time will tell."
"Small steps at a time." Chichiri told her gently, gesturing towards the village boundary as he did so. "This place is enough for now. There are people here who love you, after all – and unless I'm much mistaken, they're not just people from Kounan, either. It might be the transfer from your world to this, but I'm almost sure I feel Myoume's chi among the rest."
"Myoume?" Hikari's eyes widened. "Back in Kounan? But I thought…she intended to go back…to…"
"Kutou?" Chichiri eyed her keenly, and Hikari flushed, shrugging.
"Maybe." She said cautiously. "I didn't expect her here, in any case."
"I suspect it's a stopping off point mid-journey." Chichiri said wisely, and Hikari cast him a doubtful look.
"Chichiri…Aoi's in Kutou now, isn't he?" She asked hesitantly, and Chichiri nodded.
"To the best of my knowledge, yes." He agreed. "He left not long after you did, so he should have got home by now."
"I see." Hikari looked sad. "I'd like to see him, too. No, more than that – I need to see him. If I'm stuck in this world…I can't be stuck here without him. But if he's in Kutou…"
She faltered, and Chichiri rested a hand on her shoulder.
"When you're more settled, I promise to take you to Kutou." He said seriously. "You and Myoume too, if she wants a quick ride in that direction. You have my word, Hikari-chan. We'll go and see Aoi – just as soon as you've had a chance to re-acclimatise to this place."
Relief and gratitude mingled in his companion's eyes, and Chichiri found he was glad to see it as he grinned, reaching over to squeeze her hands playfully.
"Right now, though, we're about to descend on my family." He said frankly. "I don't know quite how long we've been gone, you know, but I expect my wife will be more than a little cross about it – so I need you as my defence, Hikari-chan…if she sees you here too, it might stop her from being quite so angry with me."
"We'll see about that, Hou Jun."
Aidou's voice came from behind them at that point and the two swung around, Chichiri's expression becoming rueful as he gauged his wife's tense, displeased demeanour. Deep in her bronze eyes he could see the flickers of anxiety which told him her true feelings on the subject, and he sighed, reaching out to take her fingers in his.
"I'm sorry, Aidou-chan." He said sincerely, bowing his head apologetically as he did so. "Suzaku asked it of me, and I couldn't refuse him."
"That's all very well, when you disappear for two weeks or more without a word." Aidou said archly. Then she caught sight of Hikari, and her expression softened.
"Well, Hikari-chan. Should I say, "Welcome home?"" She asked softly, and Hikari sighed, shrugging her shoulders.
"I suppose that's what it is." She admitted. "I did call Kounan 'home' once before, but I didn't realise it would truly come to be that. Chichiri's said I can stay here though – is that…all right with you, too?"
"Of course it is. You shouldn't even need to ask." Aidou agreed. "Although those clothes…we'll have to do something about those, to begin with. If you're staying here, the sooner I teach you to make and mend your own the better, because the stuff from your world is beyond strange."
"I…suppose it is." Hikari glanced down at herself. "But I'd like to keep a few of my own things too, Aidou-san."
She touched the bag on her shoulder absently.
"Chichiri didn't let me bring too much with me, because he said it would make it difficult with the pull of magic already faint." She added. "But I have brought…some things. Things that hold memories, and are precious. Pictures, and keepsakes, and a few things like that. Mother also sent me with a message for Tasuki, since she hasn't seen him this trip – I promised to read it to him, since he can't read her writing. And I have some of my own clothes – I'd like to keep them too, even if I can't wear them every day."
"I suppose that's fair." Aidou acknowledged. "But you'll scare half the village walking around like that – the both of you will, in fact. Come into the farmhouse and change, before you get strange looks – everyone already expects insanity from Hou Jun, but I wouldn't like it put about that it's rubbing off on our guests."
With which cutting statement she turned on her heel, heading back towards the house. Chichiri tut-tutted under his breath, looking rueful.
"Yes, I'm in trouble." He murmured, and Hikari shot him a faint smile.
"She was worried about you, I think." She replied softly. "That's all."
"Papa! Papa!"
As they reached the farmhouse, Meikyo came running out, her brother in hot pursuit as they greeted the new arrivals eagerly. "Papa, you came home! And Hikari-neechan and…what are you wearing, Papa? What kind of clothing is that?"
"It looks weird." Eiju eyed his father critically. "Papa, are you going to make me wear something like that, too? Because it looks messed up."
"No – this is clothing like they wear in Hikari's world, but I'll be glad to change out of it." Chichiri admitted, touching the sleeves absently. "I haven't had a chance to change yet. I'm glad to see the both of you fit and well – your mother says it's been more than two weeks, so I'm sorry for that. It wasn't intentional – but time is strange in Hikari's world, and it couldn't be helped."
"It's okay." Meikyo flung her arms around him, gazing up at him with contented ruby eyes. "You're home now, and so is Hikari-neechan. Is she staying with us now? For always and always and always?"
"That's the plan, or so it seems." Chichiri nodded, patting his daughter gently on the head. "Is that all right with you, Mei-chan? Eiju-kun, you too – do you mind if Hikari becomes a permanent part of our family?"
"Of course we don't." Meikyo said emphatically. "Hikari-neechan belongs with us. It's sad when people go away – I hope she can stay with us always."
"I guess it's all right." Eiju said thoughtfully. "This way Meikyo and I won't have so many chores to do, if there's someone else to help."
"That's no kind of welcoming attitude." Aidou scolded, and Eiju looked sheepish.
"But it's true, Okaa-san." He pointed out. "Hikari-neechan is taller than Meikyo or me, so there must be lots of things she can do instead of us."
"Well, so you are back after all."
Myoume joined the group at that moment, concern and warmth in her indigo eyes. "I'm glad to see you, Hikari, even if you're not glad yet. And I'm glad I decided to stop in Kounan a while and help Aidou-san out – since it means I got to see both you and Chichiri before I went East."
"I'll take you both East, in a few days, when my wife's forgiven me for my last jaunt away from the village." Chichiri added, offering Aidou a rueful smile as she arched an eyebrow meaningfully in his direction. "That is, providing she lets me out of her sight again."
"That reminds me." Aidou frowned. "A missive came from you from that place, Hou Jun – an Imperial messenger delivered it by hand and it bears a seal which Myoume says is definitely that of Kintsusei of Kutou. I don't know what it contains – but if it's a summons, you'd better go there and tell him that the Emperor you answer to is Reizeitei-sama in Eiyou and that he's not to go randomly calling men away from their families."
"A missive from the East?" Chichiri's eyes widened. "I see. That's something I wasn't expecting – but I suppose I should read it, in any case."
He cast Hikari a glance.
"What about you, Hikari-chan? Is there anything we can do for you right now?"
Hikari hesitated for a moment, then she nodded.
"I…I'd like to see Shishi." She said softly. "Please. If…if she's not busy."
"Shishi, huh?" Aidou pursed her lips. "Well, she's probably on the mountain, so I doubt she's doing anything she couldn't leave at a moment's notice."
"Eiju-kun, run up the mountain path and tell her that Hikari's here, will you?" Chichiri cast his son a grin. "You know the way and you're quite quick when you choose to be. Bring her back with you, if you can – if your uncle asks why, tell him I've asked for her. Okay?"
"Okay." Eiju's eyes sparkled, and Chichiri knew that he was proud at being entrusted with such an errand. "I'll be back as quick as lightning – you wait and see!"
With that he hared off towards the mountain path, and Aidou sighed.
"The more time he spends near that place, the more like one of Shun'u's rogues he's going to become." She said resignedly. "Don't let too much of Shishi rub off on you, Hikari-chan."
"I think Hikari and Shishi have already been good for one another." Myoume said pensively. "And I know Shishi'll be able to help Hikari adjust to life in Kounan – probably better than anyone else, in truth. I wouldn't worry, Aidou-san. I think Hikari's probably in safe hands with that cub."
"Well, maybe…but even so, her manners are abysmal." Aidou shook her head in defeat.
Chichiri smiled.
"I don't think Hikari's careless enough to start speaking mountain slang." He said lightly. "Where is this message, Aidou-chan? The sooner I read it, the sooner I'll know what I should do about it."
"In the back room." Aidou told him. "I put it on one side. The messenger would have liked to have given it to you in person, but I told him he'd sooner die of old age than succeed if he waited around, given your track record. So he left it with me and headed back."
"You really can be scathing sometimes, you know that?" Chichiri reflected good-naturedly, pushing open the door of the house as he made his way through to the back room, his wife and Myoume in tow. "Here? On the unit? I see."
"That's it." Aidou agreed. "It's not exactly the kind of message we receive here on a daily basis, so you can hardly miss it."
"Indeed not." Chichiri nodded, slipping his nail beneath the seal and unfastening the letter's ties. Carefully he unrolled it, skimming his gaze down the document as he absorbed the contents. It was written in an elegant court hand, but with a jolt Chichiri realised it had not been produced by one of Kutou's many scribes. Instead, it was the neat, faintly curved script of the Emperor himself, and his brows knitted together.
"From Kintsusei-sama indeed." He murmured. "Written in the Imperial hand, directly and personally to an apothecary living in the south-west of Kounan. Yet he writes to me as if I'm somehow the solution to his country's problems – a bridge between the East and the West in this time of change."
"Isn't that the case, though?" Myoume asked softly, and Chichiri shrugged his shoulders, re-folding the letter.
"I'm Suzaku's Seishi." He responded evenly. "I'm honoured by his request for a meeting, but even if I went there, I'm not Emperor of Kounan and I don't make those decisions. I've always emphasised the importance for peace with Bou…Reizeitei-sama, but even so…"
Myoume smiled, shaking her head.
"You haven't met Kintsusei-sama." She said quietly. "I have. While we were in Kutou, Chichiri, I spoke to him on a few occasions. He is not an Imperial man in all regards – born the son of the previous Emperor, but not raised as such and desperate to break away from Shoukitei's dark shadow. He understands the need for humility, and how to utilise it when pride will not do."
She gestured to the letter.
"By writing to you himself, he's asking you for help as himself." She added. "He genuinely wants to reach out to Reizeitei-sama and forge bonds, but he doesn't know how to do it. But you are a link in that chain. He knows that you were involved in our helping to raise Seiryuu. He will probably have heard even more from Aoi about how you handled the situation of his spying, and tackled the subject of Nakago. You're exactly the right sort of person for Kintsusei-sama to seek out in this aftermath. To go directly to an Emperor of a formerly hostile nation is not something Kutou is strong enough to do, yet. But to approach someone who has already given an impression of being sympathetic to Eastern problems…don't you see it that way, too?"
Chichiri pursed his lips, digesting this slowly. Then he nodded.
"I suppose that's true." He owned. "He's calling me as Suzaku's Chichiri, and as Suzaku's Chichiri, I won't snub his request. He hasn't ordered me to go anywhere – or even tried to assert authority. I wouldn't say he's begged me – his language is too eloquent for that. But it's the call of a man who is looking for allies…so I'll go and I'll hear what he has to say."
He smiled.
"After all, I still have that remedy I need Hyoushin to translate." He added. "Depending on how well he is, I'd like to see him again. After all, he has faith in this Emperor and if you do as well, I will have faith in him too. I'll hear him out, Myoume – don't worry. Whatever finally comes of it – I'll listen to what he wants to say."
"Good." Relief flickered in Myoume's eyes at this. "Because I think this is the first step – the true peace between the lands that has to be forged by people, not just by magic. Seiryuu can save Kutou – he can bring peace and influence the way people think and act among themselves. But the people have to do their bit too. I'm glad that that's going to happen…it's about time that all this suspicion dissipated."
"Then I suppose I'll be travelling again before too long." Chichiri sent Aidou a rueful smile. "But I did promise to take Hikari to see Aoi when I could, so it'll be a chance to fulfil that promise. I'm sorry, Aidou-chan – it seems duty calls again, you know."
"I'm used to it by now." Aidou said resignedly. "Marrying Suzaku's sacrifice is a sacrifice in itself, sometimes."
"Harsh but probably fair." Chichiri rubbed his chin sheepishly. "But it won't be today. I'm tired and so is Hikari – and I used a lot of magic to draw us back here, so I'll need some time to recuperate."
"Which is a cue for me to prepare some food, no doubt." Aidou sighed. "Honestly, men are such helpless beings…they'd never manage without women to guide them."
With that she was gone, and Chichiri and Myoume exchanged looks.
"She's been worried about you." Myoume said with a smile, and Chichiri nodded.
"I know, because I have a reputation for wandering and a stellar mark that means I might not always come back." He said pragmatically. "But even if she feels that's the case, Myoume – I always will come back. This is the place that's most important to me – whatever Kintsusei-sama wants with me, I'll always come back to the village. Family is important, and I have to be family to Hikari too, now. I promised Taka, before we left. I swore on my honour with Suzaku that I'd protect and help his daughter as much as was humanly possible…and I will. So coming back here is doubly important to me now…no matter what, home is where the heart is, after all."
So that was the end of it.
Arina walked slowly across the middle of the park, absently lighting a cigarette as she ran her mind over the morning's parting. Miaka's tears and Taka's attempts to be strong still stuck with her, and despite everything she felt a faint pang of envy at the way in which her friend's family had displayed their emotion.
"They love Hiki so much." She murmured, exhaling a cloud of smoke as she leant against one of the big willow trees, flicking ash contemplatively onto the ground. "And because of that, they let her go back. Even though they might not see her again…because it's the only thing she can do, now. And I suppose…have I done the same thing? Dammit, I let her go, too. But that Chichiri guy – all the things he said – there wasn't anything else to do. Hikari isn't like she was before. She's changed. I knew that – and what happened at school yesterday proved it. Maybe it's true after all – that if you go to that world, you're never the same again."
She sank down onto the ground, hugging her knees to her chest as she remembered the last thing her friend had said to her.
"Whatever happens, I won't forget." She murmured. "That's what you told me. That even though we were in different worlds, and even though I've taken you for granted so many times, you still want us to be friends. And shit, we still will be. I didn't realise how much I'd miss you, if you weren't here – but I'm starting to appreciate what it means, now. I'm really on my own – really and truly, this time."
She gazed up at the stars, taking a deep breath as she made out the faint glittering of the constellations.
"Things really can be written in the stars." She whispered. "Sukunami-san has a constellation. That Chichiri-san does, too. Maybe Hi-chan does as well – I don't know."
A faint smile touched her lips.
"I'd like to think there were stars watching over me, too." She decided, taking another drag on her cigarette as she felt the tears slowly begin to roll down her cheeks. "At least then someone would be. But perhaps it's what that Chichiri said, before they left. That the stars are something everyone can see – and if I can see them, and Hikari can – we're not really separated. I suppose in that case, stars really are special. Somehow I think…I'd like to learn more about that."
She put out her cigarette, reaching up to dash the tears away.
"I've never worked hard." She murmured. "I've never had to. Dad's money's always been there for the taking, and he's always let me take it. But maybe for the first time I have something I'd like to work on. People have always said I'm not stupid – I just haven't bothered to care about anything till now. But Hikari said she wanted to see what she could achieve, and even if she's not here, well, I still am. There are things that I can achieve for her, if that's the way it's got to be."
She rested her chin in her hands, fixing her gaze on the constellations she now knew belonged to Suzaku.
"One day I'll understand how it all works, and why of all people it was you who was chosen, Hi-chan." She murmured. "I won't forget, just like you asked me. Whether we meet again or we don't, I have a goal now. I'm going to find out as much as I can about this – about those stars, that ancient book Miaka-san told me about – and this ShijinTenchishou world of yours, too. I'm going to do whatever it takes to learn everything I can about it – and if there's a way for me to break down the divide between it and this world, I'll find out what it is. I don't care how long it takes or how much studying I have to do."
She got to her feet, the evening wind whipping through her hair as she hardened her resolve.
"Enough wasting time. Enough fooling around." She said aloud, somehow comforted by the resolution in her tones. "Whether Mother and Father see me do it or whether they don't, I'm not going to just sit back and let shit happen any more."
She smiled, feeling the cool breeze against the dampness of her cheeks.
"I'll do it, even if it takes my whole life, Hi-chan." She murmured. "Somehow – whatever it takes - I'll find the answers to my questions. I'll do it myself, and I know that, if I do, you and I'll always stay as friends. If I learn about the ShijinTenchishou, then I'll be closer to it…and closer to you, too, in a weird kind of way. And then…who knows what might happen?"
She shrugged.
"Maybe I'll even find a way to get to the ShijinTenchishou."
The valley was truly beautiful in the morning.
Maichu stood on the ledge, gazing out across the surrounding Kounan countryside as he absorbed the lie of the land. Clustered at intervals between streams and forests were the villages over which Reikaku-zan had jurisdiction, and as his gaze rested on the Eastern Village, a faint smile touched his lips. Somehow, with such a peaceful, tranquil landscape before him, it was easier to forget the blood and pain of the fight that had cost one of his close friends his life.
"Kayu's going to be in Kounan forever, now." He murmured, as a summer breeze teased through his thick dark hair, ruffling the long tail with its gentle, soothing touch. "And me too. When I die, this is where I'll be, too. Somehow, even though this isn't Seiryuu's land, there's something peaceful about knowing that. Now the craziness is over, and I know I'll never have to wield a blade before a friend again."
"So this is where you are, spacin' out like an idiot, huh?"
Shishi's voice startled him and he turned, casting her a rueful smile as he shrugged his shoulders.
"I was just looking at the valley. That's all." He said evenly. "It's a clear day today, and I like seein' what we're protecting."
"Daydreamin' is more something I'd peg Aoi doin' than you." Shishi came to join him, following his gaze. "But I know what you mean. When you see that, an' know that this mountain is the difference between life and death for some of the people down there, it has an impact, doesn't it?"
"It does." Maichu agreed, his expression uncharacteristically thoughtful. "But I like how it feels, regardless."
He sighed, pursing his lips.
"Maybe zoning out ain't like me, but then, right now, I'm not entirely sure what 'like me' is." He admitted. "I know I've changed, since this all began. Comin' here an' all - that's just the next step. Maybe it's growin' up - maybe it's runnin' away. But either way, I know I'm not quite the same. I don't think I could be, considerin'. So much was sacrificed for Kutou's peace - for this world an' all that. It's crazy, really. None of us will really get over it completely, will we?"
"No. I suppose not." Shishi frowned, turning to glance at the gleaming white-stone tomb that stood in the shade of the mountain slope, and Maichu bit his lip.
"Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to remind you about Jin."
"It's all right." Shishi sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "I gotta get over it and it ain't like it's not going to be here always to remind me. My entire life so far has had memories with Jin in them - either I forget everythin' that's ever meant anythin' to me, or I just deal with it an' accept that he's dead. It ain't an easy thing, but I guess...I gotta do it, somehow."
She kicked her foot idly against a pebble, watching as it rolled off the path and into a dip in the terrain.
"When Hiki wished for Jin's life, and Seiryuu told her he couldn't grant it, I realised somethin' important." She added softly. "Somethin' shitty, but...somethin' I'd been tryin' to ignore up till that point."
"Which was?" Maichu eyed her keenly, and Shishi let out a heavy sigh.
"The dead are dead." She said bluntly, raising her gaze to his as she met his dark eyes with troubled bronze ones. "An' there's nothin' to be done about it. Jin died for Hiki - for Kounan - for all of us. Because of him, we're alive. He was as much a part of this as anyone else. An' that's somethin' noone will ever forget. But...but he'd hate it, if he thought I was jus' gonna fret over it forever. After all, this was a choice he made. In the shrine, he knew what he was doing. He knew if he fought Miramu he'd be killed. But he still did it - he wanted to do it, and I have to accept that it was his decision. Whatever I feel about it - Jin did what he knew was right and that's all there is to it."
She grimaced.
"He's let go...and from what Seiryuu said...he'll be all right. An' shit, I was bein' selfish. Stupid, maybe. Wantin' him back in this life...I wanted him back because I was scared to go on without his support. He's always guided me, even though I didn't know it till now. But if I'm goin' to be Kashira, I gotta be in a place where noone is leadin' me anywhere. An' most of all I have to let Jin go. I'd hate it if I was a part of him bein' held back like that wretched Suboshi ghost in Hokkan...trapped in some weird limbo because he can't move on. He's more important to me than that. And I know...even if I couldn't see him, there's no way he'd go on and start afresh if he was worried about me. If he thought I wasn't all right, he'd linger. I know he was with me, when we fought the circus goons, and even though I was glad he was, it ain't fair to want to keep him there. I don't need that protection, now...I have Do-nee, and I'm learnin' how to fight stronger every day. Much as I miss him, I can't keep him here. We can't hold onto dead people. They belong to another world to us - like Hiki an' her Miko's world."
She shrugged her shoulders.
"That means that I have to be all right, now." She continued. "It's the last thing I can do for him now, after all. To live my life for the both of us, and make sure that one day I'm strong enough to know he'd be proud of me."
She dropped down onto the grass, pulling the soldier down beside her.
"You must know what I mean too." She reflected. "Even though he turned against you, and even though you had no choice - you're still bothered about Kayu, aren't you?"
"Yeah." Maichu scratched his head, nodding slowly. "It's still workin' itself through me, to be honest. So yes - I do know. Even if its a mite different in my case."
"Jin was a hero. Kayu was a puppet." Shishi said frankly, and Maichu hesitated, then nodded.
"Thank you for not sayin' traitor." He said softly. "Kayu was an idiot, in the end, and...and things were...but he was still someone I spent time with. Liked. Had a laugh with. An' that bastard Kikei warped it all. It was his fault - not Kayu's."
Shishi was silent for a moment, gazing out across the landscape. Then,
"Seiryuu said Jin would be reborn." She said softly. "That he'd be able to choose what kind of life he wants. Who he wants to be. Where he wants to live. And...I'm glad for him, Maichu. It's shit for me, because I love him an' I'll miss him every day I'm alive. But I know that it's partly because of him that I am alive. An' I guess there ain't nothin' bigger he could do for me or for any of the bandits on Reikaku-zan. He'd be satisfied, I think, to know we'd succeeded. An' it wasn't like...before he came to the mountain, he had...a pretty bad time of it. His Ma...she was a case, an' he never really talked about it, but I'm sure he saw things that kids shouldn't see. This time, maybe he'll get a proper start. A real chance. Without Kashira an' Aniue he woulda died sooner...I guess him givin' his life to help protect them an' the place that was his home was fittin', really. A bandit prefers to blaze out than fade away, after all. Jin just blazed more quickly an' brightly than most is all. An' that's okay, you know. I'll get used to it. Eventually."
She smiled.
"Maybe Kayu's the same." She added. "His crimes weren't his, really - I'm sure Seiryuu'll recognise that an' give him another shot. After all, his hands were tied, weren't they? His background was pretty shit, too - orphaned in a war that our parents fought in. In the end, he didn't have much chance to break away. I'm sure next time Seiryuu'll let him do things differently. Perhaps, wherever they are, he an' Jin are already makin' those choices. I'd like to think so - wouldn't you?"
"You know, when you talk like that, you don't seem so much of a kid." Maichu reflected, and Shishi snorted.
"I'm fifteen now. That ain't a kid." She snapped, and Maichu held up his hands in mock-surrender.
"All right, I get it." He returned. "But you're three years an' more younger than me. An' you have all this figured out. You've really been thinkin' about it, haven't you?"
"Well, I wanted to work it out for myself - somethin' I could settle on whereby I could accept Jin not bein' here." Shishi said pragmatically. "Maybe you need to do the same - figure out whether you came to the mountain because you're runnin' away from your guilt or whether it's because you want to be a bandit, after all."
Maichu started, eying her for a moment. Then he smiled faintly, shaking his head.
"No." He replied. "Tasuki-san - no, Kashira...he asked me whether I was just running away from things, when I got here. And...and I thought it over. It's not that. I can't run away from Kayu's death...his blood is always on my hands. I'm not even sure I regret doing what I did in terms of the bigger picture. Sure, when I left Kutou, I felt like it was what I was doing. But I've come back to the place Kayu died, haven't I? The clearing ain't far from here - I can almost see it from this perch. Kayu's buried here, too. It's not like this place hasn't got any reminders. I just think...I can't be a soldier any more. It's not...my path. Now. It might make me a coward, but I don't want to fight any more friends."
He sighed, chewing on his lip as he tried to put his thoughts into words.
"You lost your brother, and it's shit." He said eventually. "But your Ma an' Pa are here. You've an uncle an' and aunt in the village an' cousins an' people around you who care about you. It wasn't the same for me...not exactly."
"Are you goin' to give me some abused kid sobstory?" Shishi asked sharply, and Maichu laughed, shaking his head.
"If I did it'd be a lie." He said frankly. "Noone abused me. I was just in the way. I didn't want to be a tanner...I didn't care about any of that. Provincial life wasn't me. When the Emperor's men came, I wanted to go with them. I wanted to be a soldier. It's all I ever wanted to be or do...to fight for Kutou an' help the Emperor stop the civil war. And...I really did do that, in the end."
He tilted his head on one side.
"But...at a cost." He added pensively. "Growin' up that way made Aoi an' Kayu an' the others my family. Now Kayu's dead...and the nature of his death ain't gonna be easily forgotten by anyone, even if no blame's cast my way. Aoi's...Aoi's gone back to Kutou, now, to study for the exams. He's missin' Hikari - I don't think he's goin' to snap out of it all that soon, but he'll fight on an' do what he can for Kutou. Everything's different, that's all. It's like my family's been split completely apart."
He shrugged his shoulders.
"Kutou doesn't need an army like it did before." he said evenly. "Hyoushin-sama is...he's...even if he makes a full recovery, everything's just not the same. I saw a different side to him when we were on the run, and though it's made me respect him more, it's also made me realise how tough it really is to fight against people who you like. So...with that in mind...it's time to leave. I've done my duty by my King and country. I've helped save Kutou an' I'm damn proud I did, whatever nightmares I might have about how it happened. But I...I want to get away. Do something different."
He spread his hands.
"Your Kashira is the kind of person I understand." He added. "An' he understands me. He talks straight an' he's easy to like. The things you people said to me after Kayu's death put the whole pile o' shit into perspective, little by little. And I...I guess it made me think a lot about this place. About Jin an' what he died for. What he was protecting. I thought...it was something I'd like to be a part of. Because Reikaku-zan's bandits ain't thieves an' rogues so much as protectors. An' I've been trained to protect something since I was twelve. It seemed to make sense."
Shishi gazed at him for a moment. Then she laughed, cuffing him playfully across the back of the head.
"You're an idiot, basically." She teased. "You're too stupid to take imperial exams and become an official like Aoi - you're not even smart enough to learn new skills. So now the war is over, you're lost. An' this is your bolthole."
"Hey, don't hit me." Maichu protested, rubbing his head. "You're damn rough for a girl, you know that?"
"Yes." Shishi said frankly. "It's how I was raised, after all."
"Yeah, no kidding." Maichu muttered. Then he relented, laughing.
"You're just like your Pa, you know." He reflected. "But I don't think it's a bad thing. He's a pretty strong guy. An' maybe when I've been here a while, I'll have completely put Kayu's death into perspective. Either way, I'll do my best to learn how to be a bandit. I ain't a bad fighter, after all."
"You're not a patch on Jin." Shishi said thoughtfully. "But...with some work...you might be as good as me."
"And you're going to train me, huh?"
"Someone's gonna have to, and I don't have anything else to do." Shishi pulled a face. "Yeah, I'll kick some southern sense into your thick skull, Shi Maichu. Don't you worry about that."
She offered him a smile.
"I'm glad you came back with us." She said softly. "Hiki's gone, an' Jin's dead. But...if I'm focusin' on teaching you shit, I won't be able to think about those things. Besides - even if you're a dope, you are strong. An' you'll be a good bandit. When I've taught you how."
"Shishi! Shiiiiiishiiii...Shiiiiiiiiiiishiiiiiiiiiiii!"
Before Maichu could respond, an excited voice cut across their conversation, as Eiju pushed through the thick mountain trees, tripping over his own feet and tumbling to the ground in a heap before them.
"Eiju?" Shishi was alert in a moment. "Shit, what are you doing, running riot on the mountain like this? Aidou-obasama will go crazy if she finds out you're here on your own."
"Okaa-san...and Papa...sent me." Eiju managed, gazing up at Shishi eagerly as he struggled to catch his breath. "In the village...hurry...tell you...to come...you have to see...she's come back!"
"Huh?" Shishi stared at him blankly, and Maichu grinned, getting to his feet as he pulled Eiju into a more upright position. He gave the youngster a gentle shake, eying him in amusement.
"You're speaking in code, kid." He said frankly. "Take a breath before you try to spew information at us, huh? Calm down. Whatever it is, it can wait till you can speak properly."
"Let go." Eiju glared at him indignantly, trying to pull free of Maichu's grip, but the newly adopted bandit shook his head.
"Runnin' loose round this mountain ain't safe." He said firmly. "So you stay there till you calm down an' can tell Shishi what the hell it is you've come tearin' here to yell about. If nothin' else, you'll tell everyone from miles around where to find her - ain't you learnt by now that you can't do that on Reikaku-zan?"
"But I have...an important...message." Eiju retorted, as Maichu dumped him unceremoneously down on a nearby rock, getting down on his knees before him as Shishi scrambled to join them. "It's nothing...to do...with you...Maichu."
"If it's bandit business, it concerns him as much as it does me." Shishi said frankly. "Spit it out, Eiju. Why are you here? Why would Obasama let you come here on your own? Even if things are safer, Kaou-zan are still always lurking in the shadows...or had you forgotten?"
"They won't get me." Eiju said obstinately. "Kouji-aniue's been teaching me to use a sword and I'll send them back to their mountain."
He folded his arms across his chest.
"Do you want to hear my message or not?" He demanded.
Shishi sighed.
"Why are men so pig-headed about their own ability?" She wondered aloud. "Even at this size, they're trouble...I don't see what's so special about them being leader all the time. If y'ask me, choosin' a girl is a much more sensible thing to do. Girls have brains, after all - they don't just assume their machismo will carry them through."
She eyed him keenly.
"All right, kid. What's this message?"
"Stop calling me kid, first." Eiju retorted. "I'm only three years younger than you are, and it's bad enough he does it."
He glared at Maichu, and despite himself, the former soldier smiled.
"Sorry." He said evenly. "It's habit, I suppose. Tell Shishi your message, huh? I only grabbed you like I did because you were way too wound up an' I didn't want you to slip an' fall off the ledge. Chichiri's been pretty decent to me - I don't want to repay him with havin' you crumpled at the foot of some ravine."
"I'm not stupid enough to fall." Eiju said indignantly. "I've been coming here since I was a baby, and I've never fallen."
He turned to Shishi, pointedly shifting his position so his back was turned towards her amused companion.
"The message is for you, from Papa, really." He said importantly. "He wanted you to come to the village right away."
"To the village?" Shishi repeated. "I guess I could - there's nothing else goin' on here right now, after all. Did he say why, Eiju-kun?"
Eiju nodded, and there was a sparkle of excitement once more in his dark red eyes.
"Hikari-neechan asked for you." He said frankly, and Shishi's eyes widened.
"Hiki...did?" She echoed numbly. "But...that's...Hiki is..."
"In the village. With Papa and Okaa-san, and Myoume-neesan." Eiju's eyes shone. "They just got back an' Hikari-neechan asked for you, so Papa told me to run and find you, quick as I could. So I did. I ran all the way, and I even managed to sneak past Kouji-aniue and the mountain guards to find you. I know the short cuts now, after all, so I knew I'd find you here...by Jin-nii's grave."
"Hikari is...in Kounan?" Disbelief glittered in Shishi's bronze eyes, and Eiju gazed at her impatiently.
"Of course she is. That's what I just said." He retorted. "Are you deaf? Shit, girls are so stupid sometimes - are you coming, or aren't you?"
"You watch your tongue." Shishi cuffed him smartly around the ear, causing the youngster to let out a yelp. "You ain't allowed to talk like a bandit, even on Reikaku-zan - if Obasama heard you use language like that she'd cut your tongue out, probably. Stop showin' off and tell me straight what happened - why is Hikari back in Kounan?"
"I don't know that." Eiju shrugged, folding his arms across his chest. "You'll have to ask her. Girls are weird, after all. I don't know why."
"I didn't think Mikos could come back." Maichu murmured, and Shishi turned, shaking her head.
"Me either." She replied, getting to her feet and pulling her companions up with her. "This had better be for real, pipsqueak, else I'll make sure Aniue teaches you all the unpleasant things a sword can do - you understand me?"
"Of course it's for real!" Eiju snapped back. "I don't tell lies!"
"All right, k...Eiju, we believe you." Maichu ruffled his hair playfully, causing just as much upset to the boy's pride as to his tousled wavy hair. "If you say Hikari's in the village, then she is. And we're coming with you, right now."
"Noone said you were invited." Eiju said cheekily, darting out of the Easterner's range as he did so. "It was a message for Shishi. Noone asked for you."
"Do you want another clip round the ear?" Shishi threatened. "Maichu's part of the mountain family now - you got that? Besides, Hiki's his friend too - we saved Kutou together, you know. If he wants to come, he can come. Stop bein' rude to him. Just because he ain't Jin - he's still one of Kashira's bandits, an' you know Obasama'd have your hide if she heard you talkin' like that to anyone."
"Fine." Eiju's expression became sulky. "Then get a move on. Hikari-neechan looked like she was going to start leaking all over the place, and it's embarrassing, seeing girls cry like that."
"She was...crying?" Shishi frowned. "Right. We're going right now. Maichu, we'll continue our conversation later. This sounds like it's more important."
"Understood." Maichu nodded. "An' I'm right behind you."
He smiled ruefully.
"Though I'm sure she'd rather see Aoi than me, I'll come see what the fuss is about." he added. "As you said - Hikari ain't a stranger to me, an' I'd like to think we're friends of a sort, too...now."
"Aoi." Shishi frowned, then she cursed, shaking her head.
"The idiot would have gone back to Kutou already." She muttered. "Of all people, if she's upset, he's the one to have here. But...I guess...we'll have to do."
"It was you she asked for. Not Aoi." Maichu reminded her, as they made their way through the paths and slipways towards the foot of the mountain, following the short cuts and secret tracks that Shishi knew by heart towards the Eastern Village. "Right, Eiju? It's Shishi Hikari wanted."
"That's what she said." Eiju agreed. "I don't know what else, though - I ran up here as fast as I could."
"And you don't know what's happened to bring her back here?" Shishi frowned. Eiju shook his head.
"Papa's been away from the village for a couple of weeks." He said evenly. "Okaa-san was startin' to get mad at him about it, because of leaving all the work to her. But then Myoume-neesan came back from Sairou, and she's been stopping with us for the last few days, helping out. Meikyo and I have done our bit, too - because when Papa's away, protecting them is my job - right? So I've been working hard as anyone. But then, this morning, he came back. And Hikari-neechan was with him."
He shrugged.
"Okaa-san didn't say why he was away, only that it was Suzaku's business, and none of ours." He added. "He came back dressed all funny, too - sort of like the type of clothing Hikari-neechan wore when she first came to stay in Kounan. At least, Okaa-san said so. She said the fabrics were the same as that."
Shishi's eyes widened.
"Do you mean Chichiri went to Hikari's world?" She murmured, and Eiju shrugged.
"Noone said." He said simply. "And I didn't ask. Like I said, Hikari-neechan was about to start crying, and Meikyo was all excited and stuff...so I did as Papa told me and came to get you right away."
He drew himself up to his full height.
"I wasn't going to get involved in a girly hugging scene."
"You've missed Hikari too, huh?" Maichu asked him teasingly, and Eiju glared at him.
"None of your business." He said frankly.
"Well, soon enough we'll find out exactly what's going on." Shishi reflected, as they reached the edge of the village. "Run on ahead, Eiju, and tell them we're coming. All right?"
"Okay." Eiju nodded. "I'm probably faster than you slowpokes in any case."
With which parting remark he darted off into the village and disappeared.
Maichu chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.
"He's spirited, that one." He reflected. "I'd almost think he was your brother, not Chichiri's get. When we were stayin' in the village, I never heard him speak like that."
"Ah, it's all a show of male ego." Shishi grimaced, rolling her eyes. "Probably for your benefit. Eiju's been wanting to be a bandit for the longest time - that's why he's so eager to learn sword-play, though Aidou-obasama wants him to learn for the sake of protecting the family. I think he's probably jealous that you've slipped into the mountain so easily, especially with Jin gone. Eiju looked up to Jin - he and Meikyo both did, even if it was different from how it was for me, and I think if Jin hadn't died, he'd have taken on Eiju's training at some point in the future."
She shrugged.
"I guess that means you'll get a few hits of Eiju's attitude along the way. He's old enough to be a pain in the butt, if he wants to be - but he's got enough sense to remember his manners when Aidou-obasama's about."
"That's a survival skill in itself." Maichu said ruefully. "Your aunt is a formidable wench, Shishi - if he's lived with her twelve years, he's already pretty tough."
"No kidding." Shishi chuckled appreciatively. "But it's more than that. Eiju's got all of the Kou family pride. Especially since he wasn't able to protect Meikyo against Miramu that time - it means that he's twice as determined not to let it happen again."
"He's a good big brother, in fact." Maichu grinned. "Defending his sister, and looking out for his family. Ah, I don't mind him, t'be honest. Fightin' spirit is a good thing...reminds me of me, actually, when Kisha was teachin' me sword skills. I came to Kutou's capital at the same age Eiju is now - an' I can see the same things about him that I felt, when I had the chance to prove I wasn't a kid any more. Eiju won't spend his life in the village, I guarantee that. He's got the look of somethin' else about him. Whether it's Eiyou or further afield - that boy will wield a sword an' wield it well, one of these days."
"You think so, huh?" Shishi pursed her lips. "Well, if that's the case, lets hope he gets a bit more sense before he leaves home."
"Maybe." Maichu agreed. "If I hadn't had Hyoushin-sama to train me, an' Aoi to knock around with, I'd probably have made an idiot of myself pretty quick. He's lucky he's got Reikaku-zan's Kashira an' Kouji-aniki to turn to for guidance...even at peace, the world's a dangerous place to strike out on your own. An' once you hold a sword...you ain't goin' to step back an' forget."
His eyes became clouded.
"Once you take a life, there ain't any goin' back." He added matter-of-factly. "He mightn't like me too much right now, Shishi, but I'm goin' to ask Kouji-aniki if I can help with trainin' that boy, as he gets older. I ought to do somethin' to repay everyone here, in any case, an' even if you think I'm a blockhead, my skills ain't so bad. I'd like to teach him some things - if noone else minds."
"I doubt they'd mind at all. Eiju would probably be the one who'd mind the most." Shishi looked thoughtful. "But t'be honest, you're probably a better one to teach him than even Aniue. Because of what you jus' said - about not bein' able to turn back. Aniue's been doin' this longer than I've been alive...he probably doesn't even remember learnin' to hold a blade. But you do...an' that's probably what Eiju needs, if he's goin' to be of any use to anyone. After all, Kashira'd have him on Reikaku-zan if Aidou-obasama didn't object - but at the end of the day, I can't see her lettin' it happen so easily. You were trained as a soldier, not as a bandit. It might make the difference, if Eiju decided to go into the Imperial Guard in Eiyou or somethin' like that."
"That's what I thought." Maichu agreed. "And here we are. Shit...so much time seems to have passed since the first time I was here. Do you really think Chichiri went to the other world, Shishi? Can he do that? I know he's powerful, but..."
"I don't know. I didn't think so, but maybe I was wrong." Shishi shrugged. "His magic is strong - perhaps he can, after all."
"Shishi!"
The door swung open to reveal the subject of their conversation, relief touching his expression as he met his niece's gaze. "Good - Eiju said you were coming right down."
"This oaf followed me down - is it okay if you take him too?" Shishi asked. "I figured it wouldn't hurt if he came - after all, he's wound up in this world too, now - part of Kashira's mountain family an' all that."
"Maichu's always welcome here." Chichiri nodded his head. "For the time being, however, I asked you to come here for a particular reason. Did Eiju explain to you?"
"As much as a twelve year old ever explains anything." Shishi snorted. "He said Hiki was here. But that's not possible...is it? Hiki went back to her world, and..."
"Shishi?"
A tentative voice interrupted her mid-flow, and the bandit turned, her eyes widening in disbelief as she met the hesitant, hazel eyes of her friend. For a moment she just stood there, jaw dropping as she stared at the speaker. Then she let out a shriek.
"Hiki!" She exclaimed, darting forward and flinging her arms around the other girl as she hugged her tightly. "Shit - it really is you. You really are here! But how...why...what...?"
"I...can't...go home." Hikari murmured softly, and Shishi held her friend at arm's length, taking in the sad eyes swimming in tears as she met the bandit's gaze. "I can't stay there, Shishi...if I do...people might...get...hurt."
"Hurt?" Shishi looked startled, gazing at Chichiri in confusion, and Chichiri nodded, a regretful look in his ruby gaze.
"Hikari's power as Suzaku no Shinzahou was fully awakened when she summoned Seiryuu." He said softly. "But she has no full control over it, and in a world where magic does not exist, she's a potential liability. More, the fact she even has it makes her part of this world, not part of that. Before she was born, it was fused with her blood and made a part of her. Now it's awoken inside of her, there's no going back. Hikari was born a child of both worlds...by choosing to come here and save Kutou, she accepted this side of her heritage. Consequently..."
"I'm stuck here." Hikari said unsteadily. "Forever. No matter what."
"Shit." Shishi looked stricken, then, "For good? What about Miaka-sama and Tamahome? What about that?"
"They let her go, when they realised the situation." Chichiri sighed heavily. "There was nothing else to be done. In that world, people from our world don't exist. We don't have shadows or reflections - our lives are not governed by the same principles. Hikari had already begun to lose her reflection when I got there. The longer she had stayed, the worst that would have become, until it disappeared completely. That world has rejected her - she's no longer Tokyo's Sukunami Hikari. Instead she's Kounan's Suzaku no Shinzahou - there's nothing we can do."
"Shit." Shishi hugged her friend tightly once more. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to see your family, an' all - it sucks that you've been dragged away from them like that."
"I never thought I'd have to make that kind of choice, if I came here." Hikari admitted. "That I might not be able to see them again."
"Well, like I said, when your power is more stabilised, it might be possible to visit...briefly." Chichiri said softly. "Not too often, in case we upset the connection between our worlds. They operate on different time frequencies, after all - and the world you were born into runs on a contrary stream of time, also. It's complicated...but if you're able to master and manage Suzaku's magic, maybe you will find a way to penetrate the divide and go back to see them. But from hereon in, this world is your world."
Shishi hesitated for a moment, then she made up her mind, meeting her friend's gaze with a resolute one of her own.
"It'll be okay." She said frankly. "You might not be glad to be here, right now...an' that's okay. I understand you feel shit about it, and I think anyone'd feel the same. But I'm damn glad to have you back again. I missed you like hell these last few weeks, you know...it ain't the same, somehow, without you bein' here in the village."
"Shishi..." Hikari murmured, and Shishi offered her a grin.
"It'll be all right." She repeated. "There are people here who'll take care of you, an' we will. I promise - bandit's honour. An' even though Aoi's in Kutou at the moment, idiot that he is, he'll want to see you too. You ain't on your own - noone will abandon you."
"Chichiri already said he'd take me to see Aoi, when I was a little more...calm." Hikari reached up to wipe her eyes. "He's going to Kutou, and Myoume too - so I'll go with them, when they do. And...thank you for saying those things, Shishi. I missed you too - even though it wasn't so long in my world that I was away from here. I know I'm lucky - that there are people here who care about me and that I'll be looked after just fine. It's a wrench, but I...I'll survive it. Somehow. Won't I?"
"Definitely." Shishi agreed. "Sacrifices only make you stronger, in the end. Right?"
"I suppose they do." Hikari managed a weak smile. "Maybe. And I'll work hard to steady my magic, like Chichiri said. So that, at the very least, I can see my family. Even if I...I can't be part of it any more. Chichiri and Aidou-san said I can stay with them - that as far as I'm concerned, I'm an honorary part of this family, and that helps, too. It's not the same - it can't be the same - but I...I'll be all right. Won't I? Given time...I'll be okay?"
"Damn right you will." Shishi grinned. "With all of us lookin' out for you? It's a guarantee."
She hugged her friend tightly again.
"You'll be fine - we'll make sure of it."