Ch 8: The Bedtime Story

"Can you tell me a story? I can't sleep." Whined the boy-who-lived who was sprawled on his makeshift Voldemort shaped bed.

The dark lord replied by throwing him off and scooting away to a corner. "No you moron! I don't even care if you go tell a story to yourself or something but stop bothering me!"

The boy-who-lived didn't look even a bit angry for someone who had been thrown against the wall with a loud 'crack'. "Okay, then," he announced and cleared his throat, "Once upon a time, a kind, gentle hearted and handsome young boy called Harry Potter-"

"You call yourself gentle hearted?" Voldie muttered in the corner.

Harry just glared at him, "Of course I am, just because you have to self-esteem doesn't mean I can't have any." He huffed indignantly and continued his story leaving a slightly gaping dark lord muttering, "I have no self-esteem? Excuse me? Why wouldn't I have any? True I make my servants kiss my robes but still…"

"Where was I? Oh…I was out on an errand in London when I saw three homeless people begging for money and food by the streets. I, as a gentle hearted kind soul approached the trio and offered them-"

"Has anyone told you not to talk to strangers?"

"Before I was rudely interrupted," Harry said, "I was saying that I went up to them and offered them an address for a place they could stay during the harsh, cold, terrible winter- as a honorable person like I will do..."

"Why were you in London during winter?"

"Has anyone told you not to interrupt a story? Especially a masterpiece like mine?" Harry sniffed with his nose pointed upward with a strange resemblance to Malfoy Senior.

"A masterpiece? Stupid person with big ego, you practically praised yourself in every other sentence." The dark-lord-who-did-not-enjoy-bedtime-stories muttered.

Potter gave his closet partner a blank stare then continued, "So they thanked me for being such a kind young lad and I went on my merry way. The End."

It was Voldemort's turn to give Harry a blank stare. "That's it? You gave three hobos-"

"I prefer if you use the term 'homeless'. It's more fancy…"

"Fine, in your fake story, you gave three homeless people some random fake address-"

"The address wasn't fake. The story was real too."

"If it was real then I'm in love with Dumbledore." snapped the very tired and annoyed old dark lord.

"Wow! I didn't know you love Dumbled-"

"I am not!" Voldie yelped.

"And he's like way older than you-"

"I do not love or even like that stupid old coot!"

"Then why did you say you loved him? If you are, you're in luck becayse I heard that he is gay..."

"The point is that the address and story were fake, and I was kidding." Voldemort replied in a 'duh' kind of tone before muttering. "So the old coot is gay...Lucius owes me 90 galleons."

"No, I gave them your address, don't you remember Billy, Bobby, and Sammy, who visited you last Novemb-?"

Voldemort gaped at him, "You mean those guys that came to the Riddle Manor was actually three hobos?"

"Well…duh, didn't you notice?"

"B-bu-but they said I won a free ipod so I let them stay overnight."

Harry blinked at him, "Did you get your ipod?" he said in a serious voice, "Because they only gave me a plasma t.v. for the address I gave them."

Voldermort seriously felt like banging his head on the wall, but that wouldn't help the headache he was starting to feel after realizing what the missing 100 galleons from his bank account meant.

A/N: yeah so the hobo people were fake, they were actually business people that wanted to sell their stuff…poor Harry got confused. btw, sorry for the long gaps between updating... Review please!