Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes
By NocturneD
Note: Well the story got mostly amusing reviews, a couple asking me to research a little more. Truth is, I put a note on the bottom on the story for you people to be a little more educated on tourettes, sure you're asking me to look it up but I also want you people to do some research too just to know more. In a way, it might not look educational with the swearing and junk but somehow it could be educational.
Caution: extreme language
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Chapter 2: HOLY SHT!!!
Later that day while the children were getting their final assignments for the day, the bell rang for school to end. All the children got up and left in a hurry though Mr. Ratburn was struggling with a few papers as they fell from his desk and wanted to say something else to the kids, "Er damn it... WAIT A MINUTE YOU DICKS!!!" Mr. Ratburn yelled as the kids wasted no time leaving, he only sighed and swore under his breath, today was not his day ever since he was diagnosed with this terrible syndrome. Thinking back, his father had something similar when he was growing up while he sat back at his desk and rubbed his temples. "Then grandpa had it too..." He muttered, remembering his grandfather also had tourettes, must meaning that it can be passed down through genetics.
Later that night...
"Arthur can you walk over to the frozen dinners and get me either a macaroni and cheese meal or... maybe a pilaf rice?" Mr. Read asked his son to go get him something, the entire Read family was shopping at Giant Eagle that night.
"Alright dad..." Arthur said as he walked over to the frozen dinner isle and looked at all the different frozen dinner meals they had, "So many different brands... Let's see, well there's the macaroni and cheese up there..." He adjusted his glasses and looked up, "All the way up there..." Arthur decided to climb inside the freezer door until Mr. Ratburn came walking past him looking for a couple of frozen pizzas, "Almost there..." He tried to reach.
"HOLY SHIT THEY GOT THE FOUR CHEESE PIZZA ON SALE!!!" Mr. Ratburn shouted, Arthur got surprised and gasped as he lost his balance and fell onto his back but unfortunately all the frozen dinner meals came tumbling on top of him.
Luckily, the employees working the frozen section came to Arthur's rescue as one of them is WINGZ (me), as he said, "I'm not cleaning this shit up..." Then he left Arthur in his frozen dinner meal burial and went on break.
Moments later, Buster Baxter and his mother were walking down the cereal isle to pick out a cereal, unfortunately the rat was there too deciding what to buy. He couldn't decide between the generic brand called Fruit-O's or Ca-Ca Poofs, Mrs. Baxter excused herself to use the restroom and trust her son in finding the right brand of cereal they are looking for. But for Buster he was just gonna grab whatever he felt like, he saw Mr. Ratburn and asked, "Hey Mr. Ratburn, looking for a cereal?"
Mr. Ratburn shouted in surprise, "HOLY DUMB FUCK!!!"
Buster widen his eyes, "Uh sorry Mr. Ratburn... I was just asking because If you're having trouble maybe I can help? So... what do you say?"
"YOU'RE A FAGGOT!!!" Mr. Ratburn grabbed a box of Ca-Ca Poofs and walked off, thus shaking again. Mr. Ratburn walked up to the register with his food and waited for his total to be brought up, but when he saw the total of one hundred and seventy seven dollars and forty two cents he looked into his wallet, "Ah damn it... I only got forty six dollars... Gotta put some stuff back..." He saw the register person reach for the beer, "DON'T PUT THE BEER BACK!!!"
The next day at school... Mr. Ratburn was trying to take it easy with the class today by making them watch an in class movie about hygiene, Fern was excused from class to use the restroom but when she came back into the class she asked if she could open a window . Ratburn only nodded while trying to calm down by reading a magazine, Fern went over to open a window to let some air in only for a little blue bird to fly in as well.
Some of the students noticed as well, while Mr. Ratburn continued to read the magazine and ignore the fact that a bird flew in and now is perched up on the pipe running through one of the walls of the room. Fern ran up to Mr. Ratburn and said, "Mr. Ratburn, Mr. Ratburn!"
Mr. Ratburn slammed his fist down at the table and shouted, "WHAT?"
Fern took a second to come up with what she wanted to say, "There's a... there's a bird in the classroom!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN A BIRD?" Ratburn asked.
"It flew in while I opened the window and..." Fern tried to explain.
"HOLY SHIT!!!" Mr. Ratburn got up from his desk and reached for the nearest blunt object which was a broom that he used to clean up George's vomit awhile ago, "AH FUCK! DAMN IT!!!" Quickly Ratburn also picked up one of the heavy textbooks and watched the bird sit on top of the clock, Ratburn threw the book at the bird... but ended up smashing the clock in and making it fall to the ground, "AH SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!" Then he started to wave around the broom and start swatting at the bird to make it go back outside but doing poorly, "FUCK!" He shouted as he swung and... knocked over the television that was playing the movie onto the ground as it started to throw off sparks. "FUCK YOU DAMN BIRD!" He swatted again this time hitting Binky in the face with the broom, Ratburn just got up and left without acknowledging that he hit his student as Binky started crying like a little pussy. "FUCK YOU FUCKING BIRD!!!" He then swatted again only for him to hit one of the ceiling lights and break it.
"Mr. Ratburn you're going to break everything in the classroom!" Brain raised his hand and urgently replied.
"I'M TOO PISSED TO GIVE A SHIT!!!" Ratburn shouted at his most prized student. Thus the little blue bird flew into the Nigel's face and started to peak at him, "AH SHIT!!! DAMN IT!!!"
To be continued...
Note: Well people, most liked it, few got the hint, some didn't like it. I don't care, I might of borrowed some material from the tourettes guy website but glad that some of you liked the first chapter.