Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes
By NocturneD
Note: Well it's great that everyone is taking a liking to my stories that I posted up awhile ago but I want to make everything clear to everyone who wants to give me suggestions in their reviews. Please, I will only do one of each of your requests, not all of them in one chapter. For example if five reviewers give me a list of what they want to see, I'll try to pick one from each of their list... or if I got the next chapter well planned I'll only pick one item from... one list only. We got that?
Caution: extreme language
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Chapter 3: MOTHER FCKER!!!
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There was a lot of talk lately about Mr. Ratburn should either retire from teaching because of his condition or should stay on, this was mostly the talk of the town for the entire week that he came back. Of course a lot of people got a lot of laughs out of him, there are others who think he should be fired for shouting vulgar things in public weather he has tourettes or not. Mr. Ratburn though knew his own morals though he tried to control his condition with relaxation pills though they do pretty little against him.
Today was Sunday morning at it was time for everyone to go to church though this included Mr. Ratburn who tried to fill his soul with a little more light before he loses himself entirely. Nigel sat towards the back and had a plan, if he needed to shout something he could run out to the nearest exit and shout all he wanted outside. Though everyone sort of had an eye out on him as well, half of them knew that he probably could control himself in the house of god.
The music started playing as everyone stood as the priest and alter boys made their way down to the alter to begin the service. The priest who was a shot black haired monkey with tan skin as he went up to the podium, "At ease my children..." Everyone sat down, "I would like to thank you all for coming. And for a change of pace I would like to invite Principal Haney to read a passage from the good book as our opening..." The priest waved his hand for Mr. Haney to come up to the podium.
Mr. Haney came up to the podium and turned to the page he wanted to read, he first adjusted his glasses and let out a little cough, "Passage... Matthew 1:33... And so it was said from our lord and savior when he said to Abraham to..."
"PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Mr. Ratburn shouted, then he covered his mouth as everyone gasped. The priest waved his arms for everyone to silence and let Mr. Haney to continue.
"As I was saying... And he said to Abraham that uh... now I lost my place... hold on everyone let me start over again..." Mr. Haney apologized, some of the kids moaned as they knew this would drag out church even longer.
"AH FUCK!!!" Ratburn shouted again.
Church lasted three hours that day...
For Mr. Ratburn it was a terrible previous week and the weekends didn't help either, as he knew that he was on thin ice for certain people. What could he really do to make up for it? Well, he always had the children but even he insulted them by shouting things at them, he was a changed person...
Monday morning... he had an announcement to make to his class, "Er... children, I knew that the previous week hasn't really been the same ever since I came back with tourettes, but I hate to say it... but we're gonna take it easier until summer arrives which... is still two months away as I came up with a new work schedule... Monday and Tuesday are work days, Wednesday are free days, and Thursday and Friday are movie days... does that sound alright the rest of you?" No one objected but secretly Brain was crying inside... because he was a smart pussy... "But there will be times where we will have field trips, I want them on the last three days of the week so..."
"FIELD TRIP!" Binky stood up and threw his arms up in the air like a retard.
"SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU ASS FACED BITCH!" Ratburn shouted, Binky sat down looking sadly to the ground, "And anyways... our first field trip will be to the water park just outside of town..." The class cheered, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKS!!!" The class suddenly went quiet, Ratburn scanned the room quickly, "Has anyone seen Arthur?"
Meanwhile back at Giant Eagle, Arthur was still buried underneath all the frozen dinners and was under there for a week...
The bell rang for lunch... but Mr. Ratburn had to take a big crap so he went to the bathroom first, sat down, did his business, looked to his left and saw that... there was no toilet paper, he then let out a huge, "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!" He stood up broke down the stall door to walk around the hallways with his pants around his ankles looking for spare toilet paper since he checked the other ones and there were none because the Tough Customers took all the toilet paper in the entire school and burned it. So Mr. Ratburn was shuffling with his pants down around his ankles until he went into the cafeteria and shouted, "WHERE'S THE PAPER TOWELS!!!"
Mrs. McGrady took one look at Mr. Ratburn and fainted, but she hit her head on the counter top a little too hard that her head split open and blood was oozing out. The children were panicking and screaming to see the cafeteria lady dead on the floor, and Mr. Ratburn with his pants down...
To be continued...
To be continued...
Note: Okay, like I said in the note I'll take suggestions but will pick a few of them, not all of them okay? And sorry to Shinji that I didn't use all the ideas he had, atleast so far.