Disclaimer: See previous chapters.
Rating: PG, I guess..
Kuzco sat in his ornately carved dining-room chair, glaring across the pristine wood table at Alexandria, his named fiancé, who was seated at the foot of the table, stirring her Brazilian B.C version of a martini with an olive-studded toothpick. Kuzco had been miserable all day. Alexandria was rude, demanding, and incredibly sarcastic in every way.
The day had begun with the couple breakfasting in the east dining room, in silence. Kuzco ate pheasant and poached eggs. Alexandria dined on thinly sliced lemon- (in a Long Island Iced Tea, that is), along with a dish of lightly seasoned quail eggs that probably cost more than the dining room, which she sent back for various reasons at least four times during the forty-minute meal. After breakfast the day had begun with a tour of the gardens-
"Red roses are SO first century," she snarked. "Good lord!" she cried, looking up. "Am I outside AGAIN??"
Then came a viewing of the art galleries-
"An optical nightmare. My head is spinning!"
Kuzco muttered something under his breath.
"Booze has NOTHING to do with it!"
Thirdly, she was introduced to Pacha and his family-
"Honey," (low, after they had left) you should really watch out for these pheasants. They're a cult, you know....like servants..or...or the homeless!"
AND, the icing on the cake, the opening of her new bedchambers she'd move in after the wedding. As was the custom, the enormous sitting room, powder room and bedroom was directly accessible from a door in Kuzco's room. Alexandria looked around critically.
"I suppose this'll do for my shoes. Thanks, honey. So where's the actual bedroom?"
Kuzco stormed off in a fit, using the God-given excuse that he had to dress for luncheon. Pacha joined him inside his rooms for lunch, as he refused to go and eat with Alexandria, listening to his whining.
******************************************************************
"I can't TAKE this anymore, Pacha!!"
Pacha ducked the third buttered roll hurled in his direction as the emperor became more and more emphatic with his movements. Kronk, who was standing behind him, deftly caught the buttered disk and placed it on a hot plate, chopping it up in use for his afternoon turkey stuffing. Kuzco continued to wail, pausing at intermissions long enough to have food dropped into his mouth by the various servants who surrounded his eating couch.
"I was the NICEST guy in the world- Anya, WHY are you coughing? Didja choke or something? - and they saddled me with a girl like THAT!!??"
"Unbelievable," Anya said, trying unsuccessfully to hide her laughter behind another cough.
"She's-"Kuzco paused to chew. "She's rude, demanding, unfeeling-"
"In other words, a perfect match for you," muttered Anya, who was rearranging Kuzco's wardrobe. Pacha gave her a sideways look of agreement.
"I beg your PARDON???"
"Never mind."
Kuzco shot a lethal glare into her direction and continued his tirade. "She is unappreciative, immature, selfish-"
"Before you exhaust your vocabulary," Anya said dryly, "why don't you consider the Princess' feelings? She's been displaced from her home, and probably given less choice in this marriage then you have. I'd probably act a lot nastier in her situation."
Pacha nodded in agreement. "She's also been brought up as privileged as you are- it's expected for her to be a little spoiled. Is there any way you can, you, know....make her feel a little more at home in the palace?"
Kuzco had stopped chewing and leaned forward, eyes alight with interest. "Wow...I never thought of that," he said, softly, his irritated look turning to one of concern. "Let's see...if I make her feel more welcome, she'll probably be happier, you guys will have a break 'cause you won't have to listen to me whine, Kuta won't feel so guilty about the whole mess..."
"Yes. Yes..." Pacha and Anya leaned forward, eager to see an end to all his self-absorbed moaning and groaning.
".....and NO ONE WILL BE THINKING OF ME!! Nice try!!" Kuzco threw himself back on the couch, a scowl fixed on his face. Pacha and Anya exchanged 'here we go again' looks, and Kuzco continued his rant.
"There HAS to be another way to get out of this. Plus, there is no way on the face of the earth that Alexandria doesn't want to marry me. I mean, come ON." He gestured at his reflection in the mirror.
Pacha and Anya had nothing to say to THAT. Instead, Anya began to lay out Kuzco's clothing for the morning wedding, and Pacha moved closer to him. "Emperor Kuzco," he said. "I'm sure everything will work out. We can figure this out."
"Yeah, like I'm going to take YOU seriously. You said those very same words when we were dangled over a fast-moving waterfall while tied to a boulder, 'member?"
"So what does that have to do with now?"
"See, your 'figuring out,' always seems to involve nearly drowning, falling from an ungodly height or getting a really nasty, sloppy kiss. Me no likee!" He jumped up from his seat and began to inspect the garments Anya had just laid out.
"For the umpteenth time, IT WASN'T A KISS- and Kuzco, if you want this marriage to work, you've got to give some too. Did you ever consider just getting to know her?"
Kuzco looked up from the basin where he was washing food from his face and hands. "I must've gotten water in my ear," he said, raising one eyebrow. "What did you say?"
Pacha rolled his eyes. "Never mind."
Kuzco dried his face on a towel and flung it into a corner. "I know what I'll do!" he said. "I just won't marry her."
Pacha lifted his eyes heavenward once more. "I thought we already went over that," he said. "You have to marry her."
"Nope! Those advisors can't tell ME what to do! "
"But, Emperor...."
"I can't hear you! Buh-bye!" Kuzco blocked his ears and began to dance around the room. "I'm not going to marry her. I'm not going to marry her! I'm not......"
************************************
"....going to marry her." Kuzco stood glumly at the head of the wedding processional next to Pacha, who stood by his side as his best man. He was flanked by guards on either side, ordered to catch him if he bolted and carry him kicking and screaming to the alter if necessary.
"Sshh," Pacha said, comfortingly. He patted his friend on the back, and they watched as Alexandra moved slowly up the greenery-carpeted aisle of the temple, flanked by her many attendants, all brought in from Greece for the occasion.
The normally dark, dreary, building had been brightened with spicy-smelling flowers and garlands, under Anya's direction, and each guest had a tiny goblet of fine wine as well as a plate of delicate nut pastries, thanks to Kronk.
Alexandria herself looked stunning, in a long toga-style dress with a train, a blinding white sateen trimmed with a delicate gold-leaf pattern. Kuzco was dressed very much the same, save for the fact that his robes were much shorter, as was the fashion, and wore a heavy gold crown on his head.
She reached the front in seconds, thanks to Kuzco- ("Jeez! Speed the walk up, willya!?" he snapped at the orchestra, who was playing a slow, solemn Grecian aria) and took her place at his side, chin raised. "Well," she said, glancing around, "I see this day was a total waste of makeup."
Obviously, she was still mad about his standing her up for lunch the day before.
"As long as we're on the subject of cosmetics," answered Kuzco, "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"
Alexandra looked down her long nose at him. "And which dwarf are you? Because, whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed."
"Are we ready to begin?" the priest asked in a loud whisper, startling the pair out of their bickering.
Kuzco looked around at the assembled guests, as if hoping for escape, but all he saw was a huge wall of shoulder-to-shoulder advisors and pages, ready to take over his position as emperor at the slightest sign of resistance. He stepped forward, groaned inwardly, took Alexandria's hand after wrapping it in a handkerchief, ("I don't CARE how childish that looks!") glared at her one more time, then looked at the priest and opened his mouth.
"Bring it on."
In this chapter, we've seen the true extent of the brattiness of both Kuzco and Alexandria. Will update soon- more to come on the newly wedded couple!! Review Please!!!!!
Rating: PG, I guess..
Kuzco sat in his ornately carved dining-room chair, glaring across the pristine wood table at Alexandria, his named fiancé, who was seated at the foot of the table, stirring her Brazilian B.C version of a martini with an olive-studded toothpick. Kuzco had been miserable all day. Alexandria was rude, demanding, and incredibly sarcastic in every way.
The day had begun with the couple breakfasting in the east dining room, in silence. Kuzco ate pheasant and poached eggs. Alexandria dined on thinly sliced lemon- (in a Long Island Iced Tea, that is), along with a dish of lightly seasoned quail eggs that probably cost more than the dining room, which she sent back for various reasons at least four times during the forty-minute meal. After breakfast the day had begun with a tour of the gardens-
"Red roses are SO first century," she snarked. "Good lord!" she cried, looking up. "Am I outside AGAIN??"
Then came a viewing of the art galleries-
"An optical nightmare. My head is spinning!"
Kuzco muttered something under his breath.
"Booze has NOTHING to do with it!"
Thirdly, she was introduced to Pacha and his family-
"Honey," (low, after they had left) you should really watch out for these pheasants. They're a cult, you know....like servants..or...or the homeless!"
AND, the icing on the cake, the opening of her new bedchambers she'd move in after the wedding. As was the custom, the enormous sitting room, powder room and bedroom was directly accessible from a door in Kuzco's room. Alexandria looked around critically.
"I suppose this'll do for my shoes. Thanks, honey. So where's the actual bedroom?"
Kuzco stormed off in a fit, using the God-given excuse that he had to dress for luncheon. Pacha joined him inside his rooms for lunch, as he refused to go and eat with Alexandria, listening to his whining.
******************************************************************
"I can't TAKE this anymore, Pacha!!"
Pacha ducked the third buttered roll hurled in his direction as the emperor became more and more emphatic with his movements. Kronk, who was standing behind him, deftly caught the buttered disk and placed it on a hot plate, chopping it up in use for his afternoon turkey stuffing. Kuzco continued to wail, pausing at intermissions long enough to have food dropped into his mouth by the various servants who surrounded his eating couch.
"I was the NICEST guy in the world- Anya, WHY are you coughing? Didja choke or something? - and they saddled me with a girl like THAT!!??"
"Unbelievable," Anya said, trying unsuccessfully to hide her laughter behind another cough.
"She's-"Kuzco paused to chew. "She's rude, demanding, unfeeling-"
"In other words, a perfect match for you," muttered Anya, who was rearranging Kuzco's wardrobe. Pacha gave her a sideways look of agreement.
"I beg your PARDON???"
"Never mind."
Kuzco shot a lethal glare into her direction and continued his tirade. "She is unappreciative, immature, selfish-"
"Before you exhaust your vocabulary," Anya said dryly, "why don't you consider the Princess' feelings? She's been displaced from her home, and probably given less choice in this marriage then you have. I'd probably act a lot nastier in her situation."
Pacha nodded in agreement. "She's also been brought up as privileged as you are- it's expected for her to be a little spoiled. Is there any way you can, you, know....make her feel a little more at home in the palace?"
Kuzco had stopped chewing and leaned forward, eyes alight with interest. "Wow...I never thought of that," he said, softly, his irritated look turning to one of concern. "Let's see...if I make her feel more welcome, she'll probably be happier, you guys will have a break 'cause you won't have to listen to me whine, Kuta won't feel so guilty about the whole mess..."
"Yes. Yes..." Pacha and Anya leaned forward, eager to see an end to all his self-absorbed moaning and groaning.
".....and NO ONE WILL BE THINKING OF ME!! Nice try!!" Kuzco threw himself back on the couch, a scowl fixed on his face. Pacha and Anya exchanged 'here we go again' looks, and Kuzco continued his rant.
"There HAS to be another way to get out of this. Plus, there is no way on the face of the earth that Alexandria doesn't want to marry me. I mean, come ON." He gestured at his reflection in the mirror.
Pacha and Anya had nothing to say to THAT. Instead, Anya began to lay out Kuzco's clothing for the morning wedding, and Pacha moved closer to him. "Emperor Kuzco," he said. "I'm sure everything will work out. We can figure this out."
"Yeah, like I'm going to take YOU seriously. You said those very same words when we were dangled over a fast-moving waterfall while tied to a boulder, 'member?"
"So what does that have to do with now?"
"See, your 'figuring out,' always seems to involve nearly drowning, falling from an ungodly height or getting a really nasty, sloppy kiss. Me no likee!" He jumped up from his seat and began to inspect the garments Anya had just laid out.
"For the umpteenth time, IT WASN'T A KISS- and Kuzco, if you want this marriage to work, you've got to give some too. Did you ever consider just getting to know her?"
Kuzco looked up from the basin where he was washing food from his face and hands. "I must've gotten water in my ear," he said, raising one eyebrow. "What did you say?"
Pacha rolled his eyes. "Never mind."
Kuzco dried his face on a towel and flung it into a corner. "I know what I'll do!" he said. "I just won't marry her."
Pacha lifted his eyes heavenward once more. "I thought we already went over that," he said. "You have to marry her."
"Nope! Those advisors can't tell ME what to do! "
"But, Emperor...."
"I can't hear you! Buh-bye!" Kuzco blocked his ears and began to dance around the room. "I'm not going to marry her. I'm not going to marry her! I'm not......"
************************************
"....going to marry her." Kuzco stood glumly at the head of the wedding processional next to Pacha, who stood by his side as his best man. He was flanked by guards on either side, ordered to catch him if he bolted and carry him kicking and screaming to the alter if necessary.
"Sshh," Pacha said, comfortingly. He patted his friend on the back, and they watched as Alexandra moved slowly up the greenery-carpeted aisle of the temple, flanked by her many attendants, all brought in from Greece for the occasion.
The normally dark, dreary, building had been brightened with spicy-smelling flowers and garlands, under Anya's direction, and each guest had a tiny goblet of fine wine as well as a plate of delicate nut pastries, thanks to Kronk.
Alexandria herself looked stunning, in a long toga-style dress with a train, a blinding white sateen trimmed with a delicate gold-leaf pattern. Kuzco was dressed very much the same, save for the fact that his robes were much shorter, as was the fashion, and wore a heavy gold crown on his head.
She reached the front in seconds, thanks to Kuzco- ("Jeez! Speed the walk up, willya!?" he snapped at the orchestra, who was playing a slow, solemn Grecian aria) and took her place at his side, chin raised. "Well," she said, glancing around, "I see this day was a total waste of makeup."
Obviously, she was still mad about his standing her up for lunch the day before.
"As long as we're on the subject of cosmetics," answered Kuzco, "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"
Alexandra looked down her long nose at him. "And which dwarf are you? Because, whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed."
"Are we ready to begin?" the priest asked in a loud whisper, startling the pair out of their bickering.
Kuzco looked around at the assembled guests, as if hoping for escape, but all he saw was a huge wall of shoulder-to-shoulder advisors and pages, ready to take over his position as emperor at the slightest sign of resistance. He stepped forward, groaned inwardly, took Alexandria's hand after wrapping it in a handkerchief, ("I don't CARE how childish that looks!") glared at her one more time, then looked at the priest and opened his mouth.
"Bring it on."
In this chapter, we've seen the true extent of the brattiness of both Kuzco and Alexandria. Will update soon- more to come on the newly wedded couple!! Review Please!!!!!