Chapter 10: Pain Without Love
( A.N: I'm imagining you all with very sharp objects in one hand, and lit torches in the other...And dear god...What have I done to this fanfic?! Just to let everyone know...This chapter focuses on Shuichi...And some of you are probably thinking about how wonderful that is, because you all love Shuichi as much as I do, ADMIT IT! But, I have something to warn you of...This chapter is not going to be a nice, fun-loving Shuichi chapter...In fact, I'm assuming that about...ALL of you will be hating me for ever even thinkingup this chapter...I apologize now for its angst and for any OOCness...Enjoy? )
Shuichi had wanted to go out for a walk, but had had no volunteers for joining him. They'd told him that it was raining out, and that they'd heard thunder. He said walking in the rain was one of his greatest joys in life. So, he'd gone alone. The streets were dark, and empty, minus some cars driving by. It was beautiful. He took a deep inhale of the scent of rain, and caught something else in doing so.
Cigarette smoke.
A name scribbled itself into his mind. He tried to push away the thought. A lot of people smoked. What would the chances be? Slim to none. It wasn't him. What would he be doing outside of a long-since-closed store? In the alley, of all places. No, he wouldn't sink to that level. Would he?
A deep exhale of smoke, and that slick voice spoke his name, made his skin crawl,
"Shuichi?"
It was him.
The golden blonde was underneath a cover that most buildings had on the fronts of them. This one had it on the side as well. Likely for smokers on their breaks.
He swallowed hard, trying not to let his breathing pace itself. Trying to keep his eyes from watering. The last thing they'd done...That had been a bad way of ending it. He hadn't seen him since.
"Shuichi? It is you. I'd know that hair anywhere."
He sighed.
He couldn't just walk away. He mind as well go talk to him. He walked over slowly. Once he was under the cover, he sat next to him.
"Smoking in an alley?"
"Soaking yourself, walking in the rain?"
"You never change."
"I could say the same for you."
"How long has it been since I last saw you? Six months?"
"I think it's been seven."
Another sigh.
"Why do you seem so depressed Shu?"
"Thinking. A lot has happened these past couple weeks."
"Oh?"
"I have a new boyfriend. I've been living with him and his family since my house caught fire some weeks back."
"I fugured you had a new boyfriend, before you told me."
"What? Why?"
"Lets just saw he's already marked you as his."
Suddenly, Shuichi remembered his hickey.
He laughed a little,
"Ah, that. Yeah, I guess that would give it away huh?"
"Yeah," a smile.
One of those rare smiles he'd never seen much of when they'd been dating. When they'd been...Lovers.
He closed his eyes and sighed.
"Shu?"
"Hm?"
"Do you mind walking with me a little?"
"I guess..."
They stood, walking deeper into the alley, around to the back of the building, walking along it.
He bumped into him, while watching the ground as they walked.
He looked up. Their lips locked. His eyes grew. He panicked. And he realized, he couldn't push him away. He was smaller, more fragile. This man was strong, more built then he was. And he had him where he wanted him.
Lips traced his neck and chest. Sucking in different places. Hands travelled where they were not welcome. He couldn't get away.
His skin became bare in places it shouldn't be. Unwelcome contact was made.
And all he could do was cry and beg.
--
He was sitting there, cloths now returned, his body marked, and aching.
He sat there, sobbing.
"Now I remember why I left you," that slick voice said, and the click of a lighter was heard,
"You're awful. You're worthless."
"I do believe I left you," the hurt voice countered.
He received a slap to the face, knocking him backwards.
"Are you really in any position to argue with me?"
A whimper.
Their lips met.
"You're very bad. Practice so you don't displease your boyfriend when he wants you."
With that, he was gone.
--
In a house somewhere not too far off, a redhead winced as a string on his guitar broke. His eyes grew. It had happened only once before. The last time, his friend was...
No, it couldn't be.
That had ended over half a year ago. Those two had broken up, and hadn't gotten together again since.
Still...
"Hiro?" She'd come to the habit of calling him that.
"Mm?" He looked up. She was watching him.
"Are you alright?"
"Fine...I just..."
He was interrupted. Pulling the cellphone from his pocket, he checked who was messaging him. And he froze entirely when he read his name.
--
Tires screeched to a hault.
He ran out of the car and over to the person who sat, with tears streaming down his face.
"Shu..."
"Hiro, he...I didn't...He just..."
"Who Shuichi...Who did this?"
"...Yuki..."
--
"Okay, thank you. I'll be sure to let him know," she hung up the phone. She wrote out the message on a small piece of paper, and went to his room, being sure to knock before she entered. Assuring for herself that he was sleeping, she placed the note on his bedside table, before leaving the room.
--
He woke to a note on his bedside table, written in what he assumed must be Keikos neat scrawl.
'Shuichi slept at Hiros on short notice. He apparently wanted to see his friend. He'll be back today. Just so you don't panic. And here's Hiros number.' And the number was written at the bottom of the paper.
"Hiro? His other friend from school, the redhead, I remember him."
He got up and headed for the bathroom for a shower.
--
He woke up still aching.
"Shuichi, do you need anything?" Ayaka questioned gently from the other couch,
"I hope I haven't woken you..."
"No, you didn't wake me up...And I really don't need anything, but thank you for asking."
She nodded, returning her gaze to the t.v set.
Hiro strolled into the room.
"Shu, you're up. Your cloths are done in the dryer, washed them last nigt so you could wear them again today."
"Thanks."
He remembered showering and Hiro lending him cloths. The man had even lent him some underwear. And he couldn't help but laugh at the thought.
"You alright?" Hiro questioned.
"Yeah...Just...Thanks, Hiro."
His friend smiled and nodded.
By night, it seemed that many hours had passed. He felt so drained. He wanted to collapse. But he couldn't. He changed into his own cloths, tossing Hiros used cloths into the laundry, excluding a shirt that covered his neck, he tossed it on over his own shirt. When came out, he looked at Hiro,
"I'm borrowing this, okay?"
Hiro nodded.
The two went together in Hiros car.
When they got there, he was sleeping.
Shuichi was glad. He didn't want to talk about the incident. Didn't want to discuss it.
He climbed into bed next to Ryuichi, and went to to sleep.
He dreamt of images he didn't want to see.
( A.N: Oh, evil cliffhanger...I'm sorry, put down your torches and weapons...Please? And I'm so sorry Shuichi!! -hugs him tightly- I LOVE YOU SHU-CHAN!! Anyways, continuing on...I will try to update asap, honest. Sorry again for the OOCness and for the angst...)