Disclaimer: Disney owns all. I bow to Disney. I am not wor-thy.

Rating: G/PG

"Alexandria!"

Kuzco strode through the palace and to his wife's new chambers, throwing the doors open with a flourish. He could see her maids milling about, although she was nowhere to be seen. It had only been a couple days since the empress had moved into her new quarters, and she had already recruited more than half his staff for her own use.

"Over here, honey!"

This came from her bathing-rooms, over to the side. He shouldered his mantle and headed in. "Are you decent?"

"Come in and find out!"

Kuzco rolled his eyes and walked in. Thankfully, Alexandria's deep marble tub was shrouded from view by tall bamboo-and-sandalwood paneled screens. There was a young woman seated on the floor playing a lyre, and a eunuch was seated beside her, reading poetry.

"Alexandria!" Kuzco had to yell to be heard. "You taking a bath?"

"No, I'm trying to drown myself," Alexandria replied, sarcastically. "What else would I do with all this water and soap?"

Kuzco took a deep breath. Okay, so that was kind of a dumb question…"Dudes! Dismiss!" Kuzco snapped his fingers impatiently. Her servants obediently scattered. Alexandria, who was still splashing about in the tub, was singing in Greek, slightly off-key.

He winced. "Look, if I wanted my eardrums shattered, I could have asked Kuta a question." He heard a larger splash as Alexandria emerged from the tub, then the rustle of unfolding silk. Moments later, she appeared, wrapped in a thin robe of India silk that clung to her still-wet frame. "Oh honey, it's you," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I was convinced that horrid smell was coming from the kitchen! My bathwater's still fresh, if you want a dip- and I strongly suggest you take one."

Kuzco managed to stifle an urge to sniff underneath his arms. Why do I let her get to me? "It's probably just your liver rotting, dear," he said, sweetly.

Alexandria sat down, crossing her long legs. "I do enjoy these little chats we have, but why are you here?"

"What, I can't just visit you?" Kuzco walked over to her bench. "Move over." He sat down and began to make use of the almond oil on her dressing table, combing it through his hair. "This look dry to you?"

"A little. Here, let me help you-" and she began to work the oil through his hair.

"Alexandria," he said, a little weirded out by the contact, although to his surprise- it wasn't at all unpleasant. Her hands were very small, and unexpectedly gentle. "Are you aware that we have a court audience this morning?"

"No."

Why am I not surprised? He felt his usual impatience with her returning. "Didn't you see the messenger I sent to you yesterday? Oh, wait…you must have. He came back crying."

"Oh, please!" Alexandria glared at him, wiping her hands on a cloth. She dipped a chamois skin in fragrant powder and began to dust her face and neck. "He was already crying when he got here."

"That's because he knew he had to come and see you!" Kuzco rolled his eyes again. "But that's beside the point. We need to receive the people."

"Whatever for?"

"To hear their complaints, requests…y'know. Yzma used to do it for me, but she sort of tried to take over my kingdom, and murder me in cold blood, so…" he leaned back to avoid being hit by his wife's powder puff. "…the duty falls to me again."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"You're the empress!" Kuzco nearly shouted.

She gave him a blank look and reached for a stick of soft kohl.

"Oh, geez." He rubbed his eyes. "Okay…me, Kuzco." He pointed to himself. "Husband. You, Alexandria." He pointed to her. "Wife." He pointed at himself again. "Me, emperor." He pointed at her. "You, empre-"

"I get it!" she slapped her kohl stick back down on the table (her eyes were now lined heavily in black) and reached for a perfume bottle, dousing herself with it. "Honey, why do I have to go? I mean…I wouldn't have the least idea what to do. I mean, it's…helping people. Who does that?"

"You, from now on." Aggravated, Kuzco got up. "Come on. The whole kingdom'll be talking if you don't come with me- otherwise, I wouldn't care. But my reputation needs to remain spotless."

"Honey, your reputation is one huge spot!" after laughing at her own joke and reddening her lips with ochre, she turned back to him. "I'm going over my schedule, honey. Nope…sorry, can't squeeze you in."

Kuzco gritted his teeth. Time to get serious. "Do it," he said, "or I'll have the steamstress re-make all your robes…in a homespun blend- and cancel that little dress order you have coming from Persia."

Her face blanched, and she drew back. "Then again…maybe I can squeeze you in. No need to resort to violence, honey." She stood. "Helena!"

Her maid appeared seemingly out of thin air, and they disappeared behind the screen. Alexandria appeared moments later, dressed for a formal audience in dark purple silk, with diamonds in her ears and around her neck. "Let's get this show on the road."

Kuzco and Alexandria made it to the throne room without further incident. Knowing that there was no way under the sun that she was going to climb all those stairs, he motioned to a guard, who unceremoniously picked her up and ran her up to the top. He dropped her into the new throne that sat to the right of Kuzco's, then bowed and headed back to his post.

Kuzco took his seat and crossed his legs, then looked over at Alexandria. She was tucking her legs beneath her and gingerly arranging the folds of her gown over the arms of the chair. "Honey, it's covered with germs," she complained.

He gave her a sideways look and was about to deliver a scathing reply, but Kuta entered, opening the doors of the throne room and flooding it with light. Outside, a line of people stretched far into the courtyard.

"Ye gods," muttered Alexandria.

Kuzco's eyes were just as round, and he barely managed to close his gaping mouth before turning to his advisor. "Kuta?"

"Yes sir?" the little man hurried up to the throne as fast as his girth could allow.

"Where did all these people come from?"

"Well, sire, you have not been present in court for some time, due to your marriage and the…previous troubles you encountered while trying to regain your throne…"

"Good Lord." Alexandria's voice broke in. "We'll spend hours listening to the whining riffraff! Just give them what they want and send them home, honey."

Kuta bit his lip. "Madam, that is not the usual procedure. It will destroy your public relations, and…"

"Ignore her," Kuzco ordered. To his annoyance, Alexandria had echoed exactly what he had been thinking- but somehow is sounded really…mean, coming from her. "Trot in the populace, dude. And tell Kronk to bring us some refreshments…honey cakes and wine for me, rum cakes and hooch for the lady."

She gave him the thumb-ups sign and sat back, propping her feet up on the armrest.

Kuzco shook his head. "Alexandria, do you realize that I was joking?"

"What, honey?"

"Never mind."

The first man to walk in was a short, squat peasant wearing a dirty gray poncho and a short brown tunic. When he saw the monarchs, he fell on his hands and knees, touching his forehead to the base of the thrones. "Your highnesses!" he cried. "Please allow me to congratulate you both on your marriage. Sire, forgive my presumption, but…" he glanced up, then dropped his head. "She is even more beautiful than we have heard."

"Yeah, yeah." If flattery was oil, this guy would have slid halfway down the street by now. "Just state your case and get out of here."

"Oh no, honey, let him continue." Alexandria laid a hand on his arm. Now that she had her rum cakes and a pitcher of freshly-mixed apple martinis by her side, she was in a much better mood. "I like him."

"You would." Kuzco shot her a scornful look, then turned back to his subject. "Go ahead, state your beef."

"Well, sire," and the peasant struggled to his feet, "My teenage brother took my llama and cart out for a…joyride the other day. He crashed the cart, and the llama was killed."

"Okay, dumb brother who took the llama out, dumb brother who didn't lock his llama up, dead llama, smashed cart. This concerns me because…?"

"Well, sire, the proper protocol is that I report him to the authorities and press charges, but-"

"Which you should do, as soon as you stop blocking my doorway. Nice meeting you! Buh-bye…NEXT!"

"Wait."

Kuzco and the retreating peasant both stopped…and turned in astonishment.

Alexandria had spoken.

"Honey," she said, sitting up and looking Kuzco in the eye, "aren't you going to ask me what I think?"

He cracked up. "Good one, Alexandria." He wiped his eyes…then paused when he saw her expression. "You're serious?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes." Alexandria narrowed her hazel eyes. "I am empress, after all- I should have some say."

The martinis probably haven't kicked in yet. Kuzco raised an eyebrow. "Err…sure. Go ahead, Alexandria." He sat back. This ought to be good. I do need a laugh…

"Well," and Alexandria took a sip of her drink, "in my country, we usually try to settle family disputes outside of the courts."

"I…I was hoping that would be possible, Madam," the peasant said, timidly. "That is why I chose to bring the case before your Majesties."

She nodded. "Perhaps…we could arrange for your brother to find work in the palace, or in the…the…where is that place where you commoners buy food ?"

"The market, my lady?"

She nodded. "His salary will go towards the payment of your cart, and I guess that the emperor can spare a loan to cover you for now."

The man fell to his knees once more. "Thank you, my lady!"

Alexandria turned to Kuzco and Kuta, who were both standing, slack-jawed. "That okay with you, honey?" she asked him casually. "By the way, the 'drooling idiot' look doesn't work that well for you."

"I…" Kuzco managed to snap his mouth shut, to get it to start working again. "Let it be…as you said." She had come up with the perfect solution.

Kuta immediately began scratching a formal proclamation on palace parchment, and Kuzo stared at his wife as if she'd grown two heads. "Wherever did you learn that?" he demanded.

"What, honey?"

"The whole…what you just did! Everything!"

Alexandria shrugged her slender shoulders. "Watching my father. He had audiences every day, and I used to go with him. I remember he had a case like this one."

"I…you…" Kuzco couldn't seem to form a proper sentence, and Kuta had motioned in the next person, so he couldn't query her further. Who knew that about her?

Intriguing?

Possibly.

Although he'd never admit it.

"Man, what a day!"

Kuzco stood and stretched. The last subject had come and gone, and their work was done- for the day, anyway. "We're gonna have to find a better way to do this."

"Mm-hm," Alexandria agreed, her eyes downcast. She was playing with the remains of a late lunch that the two of them had shared earlier that afternoon.

"I mean, the sun set hours ago!" Kuzco blinked at the dark window, then stood on tiptoe to light another lamp. All the servants in the throne room were gone- they'd been dispatched to see his subjects safely outside the palace gates. "You okay, or are you just brooding over your last martini?"

Alexandria looked up, then stood and shook out her robes. She slowly reached up and pulled the large jeweled pins out of her hair, shaking it loose over her shoulders. "I enjoyed today, honey," she said. "Helping the proletariat is fun! They really are quite clever, if one thinks about it…it's a wonder they don't make more money."

"Yeah, well." Kuzco was inclined to agree. Alexandria had her moments- she'd queried a farmer on what "famine" meant, for example, and asked a widow to define "starvation"- but she'd been a surprising help. Although she wasn't the most sensitive, her knowledge of law and what she had retained from watching her father helped- a lot.

Kuzco dropped back into his throne and stretched his legs. "I am one worn-out king of the world."

Alexandria finished rearranging her robes and dropped down as well- right into his lap.

To say that Kuzco was startled would be an understatement of gargantuan proportions. "Er…Alexandria? In case the martinis have This isn't your throne."

"This is more comfortable." She lifted her legs and tucked them to the side, then lay her head down on his chest and closed her eyes. "Night, honey…" she drifted off.

"Alexandria!" he called her name, but she was fast asleep, and clearly had no plans to move unless he disturbed her.

And…to his surprise…he didn't want to disturb her. He was pretty comfortable himself…

Tentatively, he wrapped one arm around her waist and one around her shoulders, drawing her closer to him. He could smell the spices that had been in her bath, and he rested his chin on her dark head, inhaling the smell of almond oil- and thinking hard.

"Honey?"

"I thought you were asleep." The sound of his own voice was lazy, languid. He shifted as if to release her, but she shook her head, playing with the fringe at the front of his robes instead.

"Honey," she said, and her voice was unusually soft, stripped of its usual condescending lilt. "Did I really help you?"

"Yeah, you did, Kuzco admitted Maybe my advisors did know what they were doing when they picked her out. "I'm surprised you know how to work all that…monarchy stuff. No offense, but you don't seem like the type."

"My father taught me." Her eyes grew distant. "I was the youngest, and I was sort of his pet. He taught me how to make my first cosmopolitan…"

"A skill that's not to be reckoned with," Kuzco said dryly.

"I know!" she agreed, not seeing the irony. She was silent after this, and for another minute the only sound in the room was that of their combined breathing.

Kuzco broke the silence. "He's still in…Greece, right?"

"He's dead."

Such a flat admission took Kuzco totally by surprise, and he sat back and looked into her face. Her expression was unusually thoughtful, and he realized with a pang of… something…how little he knew about the woman he called his wife. Why don't you get to know her? Pacha had said…but he was afraid to. The more he learned about her, the more that funny feeling that had been inside him for days was intensifying….

Guess homesickness wasn't her only problem…"I'm sorry…to hear that," he mumbled.

"That's why I had to get married." Alexandria continued as if she hadn't heard him. "My oldest sister and my mother reigned together, and my other sister is already married, to a Persian king. I was a liability to the throne, and I was of age, so…"

"So they married you off to me," Kuzco finished.

"Yes." She tucked a lock of dark hair behind one ear. "It was either you or a nobleman who knows my brother-in-law."

"Why not him?"

She tilted her head to its usual haughty angle. "He doesn't drink. It would have never worked out between us."

"I'll bet," Kuzco muttered, trying to collect his thoughts. He felt so strange…

Then it hit him.

For the very first time in his life…he felt really, truly sorry for someone.

"Honey?"

Her voice broke into his thoughts, and he looked up. Alexandria was staring at him intently, her hazel eyes wide. In the dim light of the throne room they looked almost green, and very clear and soft.

"It's okay," she whispered, and leaned forward. "Times are better now, Kuzco."

Kuzco couldn't focus on what she was saying, though. He suddenly realized how close they were…she blinked as if she realized it too, and her lips parted slightly.

It was Kuzco, however, who closed the distance… and kissed her.

Alexandria didn't respond at first, but then she tentatively placed her hands on the sides of his face, kissing him back. When he finally broke the contact, they were both breathing hard. Her face was flushed, and from the heat he felt creeping up his neck, he knew he probably was turning red, too. She looked as shocked as he felt.

What did I just do…his fingers dropped down to her back. "Alexandria-" he began. He touched her cheek.

Just then, Kronk threw open the doors of the throne room with a flourish, starling the pair so much that Kuzco actually leapt to his feet, dumping Alexandria on the floor as he did so.

"Dinner's ready, sire!" Kronk announced. He hadn't hadn't noticed a thing. Anya and Kuta stood behind him.

Their jaws were nearly scraping the ground.

Kuta was running as fast as his short legs and size-six sandaled feet could carry him.

"Got to get to her, got to get to her…" he muttered. His mind was full of what he had just witnessed.

Alexandria…and Kuzco. In what could be called a…compromising position.

Kuta reached the outskirts of the kingdom in minutes, thanks to the llama cart he had hired. Now, he left the llama tied up to a tree, a basin of fresh water and a pile of sweet grass to the side, to keep him quiet. Kuta then wrapped a hood and cloak around himself to cover his place dress, and headed off into the woods, careful not to make a sound. He has bread, cheese, and a flask of good wine under the cloak as well; his journey would take most of the night. He usually stopped to rest, but he wouldn't- not this time.

Kuzco was distracted by his new wife, just as he had planned.

Meeting Yzma in the palace that night had been a mere stroke of luck; he'd had no idea that she was even alive, talk less of back in human form; and she'd had no idea that he was the actual mastermind behind the wedding of Alexandria and Kuzco. He'd done her the favor of sneaking her out of the palace that night, and she'd done him the favor of giving him access to an army she'd created...out of palace guard dogs. God, but that woman was as scary as she was devious.

Kuta had been planning it for years, ever since he'd been elevated to the position of Kuzco's right-hand advisor. He hated the brat. He hated his whining, his selfishness, his penchant for throwing palace workers out the window if they displeased him…why should that…that teenager hold the throne when there were so many who had worked just as hard?

His orginal plan had been to distract Kuzco with a woman, then proceed to lead the peasants in an uprising against the emperor. However, thanks to Kuzco's friendship with that meddling musclehead Pacha, stories of Kuzco's actual kindness and good-heartedness were circulating all over the kingdom. The peasants no longer saw him as an enemy- and indeed, Kuzco had been more accepting and caring of his subjects...dealing withhis spoiled bride had made much less self centered.He was growing up, which was Kuta's worst nightmare.His plan was backfiring. A prepubescent ruler was easy to overthrow; a mature one was much, much harder to defeat.

Running into Yzma had been a pure stroke of luck, proverbialicing on the cake. They needed each other to succeed, really. Heneeded an army; sheneeded a man on the inside.

The time was right…to strike.

He had to tell Yzma…and by this time in a week or so, they would be the reigning monarchs.

He couldn't wait.

Dinner that evening, to say in the least, was an uncomfortable event.

All the servants had retired for the evening, except Kronk…and he was in the kitchen. Alexandria and Kuzco were dining together. Alone.

Kuzco kept his eyes on his plate, and when he looked at his wife, her eyes dropped, as if she were embarrassed. It felt so strange- the air between them was charged, somehow- and not only because of what had just taken place. It had been building up for weeks.

Alexandria seemed unusually subdued, eating little, and talking even less. Occasionally, Kuzco saw her bring shaky fingers to her lips in a gesture that he knew had nothing to do with the food. She had even refused her usual drinks, much to everyone's astonishment. Kuzco didn't pay as much attention as he should have, however- he was too busy arguing with himself.

You kissed her, dude. Voluntarily. Plus, you redid like, an entire side of your palace for her. By every human standard, that shows you like her. A lot. Clearly, his inner conscience was in a sarcastic mood.

But…what was I thinking? Kuzco rubbed his forehead.

What every hormonal guy thinks when he has a hot chick on his lap, what else? Besides, you felt sorry for her, and you still do. Admit it.

Kuzco fought back. She can take perfectly good care of herself! She's done it up till now…

Yeah, but that was before you two started getting along…plus, you know how you feel about her now. What are you, scared to admit it? You punk. You wuss...

Kuzco was getting angry now. I am King of the World, 'kay? I'm not afraid of anything…except llamas. And panthers. And gravy-drenched pillbug specials…

You wimp. You chump. You sump…

He blinked.

Wait. Why am I having a conversation with myself?

Kuzco gave himself a shake and began to cut his meat defiantly. The pork they dined on that evening, according to Kronk, had been specially raised on acorns and sweet onions, and was the best meat available. He was going to enjoy this meal. So what of Alexandria didn't want to talk? So what if he had just given his might-not-be-so-spoiled-after-all wife a kiss that had…effectively, rocked his world? So what if she had kissed him back? So what, if he knew perfectly well that if Kronk hadn't interrupted…God knows what they would have been doing now?

"Kuzco?"

Alexandria's soft tone startled him so much that he dropped his knife, then nearly choked on his meat. "Yeah?"

"I'm tired." Her voice hadn't risen above a half-whisper. "I want to…I'm going to my rooms, now."

He stood up. "Let me walk you." He was half-afraid that she would turn him down, but she nodded, still staring down at the floor.

He didn't offer her his arm as he usually did, and Alexandria didn't comment on it- was that a bad sign? Still, it was Alexandria. She probably didn't notice things like that.

Kuzco managed to start a conversation of sorts, chattering mindlessly until they reached her chamber doors, then stopped. And awkward silence descended, and didn't know whether he should break it, or not. He wanted to mention what had happened before, but…

"Alexandria?" he finally asked. Her back was turned to him, but she hadn't made a move to enter her rooms.

"Yes?" she still didn't turn around.

"Look, I'm…sorry for everything that happened to you," he said. "I mean…and then coming here…if I'd known…" he paused to collect his words. "I mean, your marriage should have been to someone…special."

He could feel Alexandria's hesitance before she answered him. Even so, her voice was so low that he could barely hear her. "Don't worry, honey," she said quietly, and turned around. "It was."

Kuzco's heart began to pound, strangely. Catch me ever eating those spinach puffs of Kronks again…oh, who am I kidding? I've fallen for her. I've fallen hard. This cannot be good…this is all Pacha's fault! I was the coolest bachelor around until he ran that guilt trip on me…oh, just wait till I get his hands on that village of his…

He stopped his train of thought, for Alexandria had suddenly turned around. Although she still looked somewhat sad, a half-apprehensive, half-eager look had entered her eyes, and her face had regained a trace of its usual mischief. Her full lips curved up into a smirk.

"So, honey," she said, snippily. "Are you coming in or not?"

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