Raenef: It's time for chapter 4! Pillow Wars! As well as a new addition to it, called episode 1: The Fanny Bandit Menace!
Music: Who the hell is the Fanny Bandit?
Raenef: It was your idea, idiot!
Music: Oh, Yeah. On with the pillows! And the warring! And the…the…Tobiness!
Raenef: We own nothing, remember that! It'd be too much responsibility!
The group had divided into its two teams for the Great Pillow war of…98'! Even though it's 2007! On one side stood the Jedi, Pein, Konan, and Kisame! On the other side, Zetsu, Tobi and Itachi, as the Sith Lords!
"Why did we call ourselves these names again?" Zetsu asked Itachi.
"Because it's a parody!" Itachi exclaimed. (Both authors stop typing and stare at the screen in horror.)
"What's that you bastard?!" Both Zetsu's asked.
"Something to do with a fourth wall. Who cares, let's fight!" Itachi exclaimed, much to the relief of the authors. He leapt forward with a cry of "There can be only one!"
"Wait, that means he's gonna kill us too! AHHH!" Zetsu exclaimed to Tobi, who had chosen to take this time to nap while standing up.
"No, I'm not gonna do that…yet." Itachi said quietly, which just scared Zetsu more.
"Can we start now?" Pein said across the battlefield of…20…square feet. (Shut up and read!)
Kisame raced forward crying, "Revenge! I will avenge the loss of my bladder control!" leaping forward at Itachi. Itachi suddenly held a hand up, making him stop.
"You fight Zetsu, not me." He air-scooted Kisame over to Zetsu and put him down, while Kisame was still in the air. "Now, keep going." Kisame then resumed and crashed into Zetsu. And the fight was on!
Itachi squared off with Pein, both staring each other down like a crappy anime or western. Suddenly, Itachi threw a shuriken-shaped pillow at Pein, who easily dodged it. He then heard a second whooshing sound and turned to see a second pillow!
"Oh, no! The shadow pillow Jutsu! A second pillow in the shadow of the first!" He exclaimed in various mock-dramatic poses, before getting a mouthful of pillow. As he fell, Itachi jumped for joy. "Ha, two points!"
Pein quickly got up and charged with his own pillow to avenge himself. "I'm not done yet!" He said, upper-cutting Itachi with the pillow and sending him flying.
Meanwhile, Kisame and Zetsu were fighting equally, with curse words being emitted every once in awhile. That, however, is not what should catch your attention. What should catch your attention is the fact they keep getting knocked over by Tobi, who's trying to run away from Konan and her twin pillow attack.
Suddenly, Tobi had a burst of courage (or was it stupidity?) and turned around to face Konan. He suddenly leapt forward towards her, forcing her to raise her two pillows to guard. When suddenly, he…latched onto her arm…by glomping it.
"Tobi, let go of my arm." Konan said simply, waving her arm once.
"Nooo…you'll kill me…" Tobi, argued, as Konan began to shake him more.
"Be that…as it…may…you need to…let go of …my…arm!" She said, banging his body now against the wall in-between every few words.
"Nooooo!" Tobi whined, ignoring the spasms of pain.
"I'll give you a cookie!" Konan offered, which made Tobi immediately let go and kneel down, holding his hands up.
"Uh…I was lying, Tobi." Konan said simply. Tobi's visible eye widened, and he suddenly rushed Konan, pinning her against the wall and holding her neck. This would leave an indentation of a little five-year old girl, which Pein would later declare sacred and make a shrine.
"COOKIE! NOW!" Tobi exclaimed demonically. Konan shook scared and yelled, "Okay, okay! Just put me down!" He quickly let her down, and she gave him a cookie hidden in her sleeve. While Tobi chomped on the cookie like any five-year old would, Konan rubbed her neck, and quietly said "oww."
What she didn't realize was that her voice echoed over to Pein, who was defending himself from Itachi's fire jutsu, which was really just a big flame shaped pillow. He heard her voice and everything stopped. His eyes shot open, and the Rinnegan was active. "Konan…" Suddenly, the One Winged Angel theme began to play. (We couldn't find the correct lyrics, so just play it if you got it, or find it yourself if you don't have it. It's awesome.)
Everyone turned to watch as Pein started to levitate up, an aura clearly visible around him and much more menacing than his mother's. Speaking of his mother, she conveniently walked outside the door to hear the music and see her son levitating. Going back inside, we hear lots of locks, metal doors, brick walls, and a "Do not disturb" sign being built.
Tobi merely watched the whole time, saying only one word. "Shit."
Pein suddenly charged at Tobi, faster than the eye could see, leaving a large cloud of dust and feathers in his wake. Tobi quickly dodged the assault due to his extreme sugar-high. Everyone else had stopped watching and was now running to avoid being hit. Except for Konan, who absent mindedly chewed a pocky stick.
Eventually, Tobi was cornered, and Pein prepared two actual Kunai, not kunai shaped pillows mind you, and attached two explosive notes to each. Tobi merely said "Oh, double shit."
Pein then threw the kunai, and performed the shadow Kunai Jutsu, multiplying them into millions of kunai with explosive notes. "Oh, triple shit!" Tobi yelled before cowering and waiting for the inevitable pain.
However this was interrupted by the doorbell, which made the kunai stop in mid-air, the song stopped, and everyone looked at the door. "Zetsu, go open the door." Pein told Zetsu, who quickly obliged. Opening the door, it revealed…the fanny bandit himself…Orochimaru!
"Hi, guys!" Orochimaru exclaimed waving. He suddenly stopped and observed the scene in the living room. "Am I interrupting?"
"Zetsu, move." Zetsu did so, and was glad to have done so, since Orochimaru was then blasted by a hail of Kunai, which promptly exploded. And then exploded again, because the authors don't like Orochimaru.
"Crap, I'm bored now. Let's watch a movie." Pein said, now in a calm state, making everyone fall anime-style. And thus ended the first Great Pillow war of 98', even though its 2007!
Raenef: Next chapter, Pillow Wars 2: Attack of the Shadow clones!
Music: Yay, Star Wars parodies! Screw getting sued!
Raenef: Says you. Read and review, please!