One Year In Four
Disclaimer: I don't own Tezuka and Fuji. But they definitely own each other
Warnings: Gen at the moment, but this is good old shounen ai
Pairings: TeFu (I'm loyal and biased… they're the epitome of love)
a/n: edited chapter (19/09/07). Took down the replies to reviews, well, sorry. But I just happened to have this random urgency to organize things. I've a nice quote: I entrust our future togetherness to fate. Maybe, that's Tezuka and Fuji's story. And, no, Honda and Tezuka aren't together for six years. Thanks to all those who reviewed!!!
oOo
Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point, we'll have to choose: do we fall back to what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time. So we have to remember, sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today.
oOo
OYIF calendar: February 9, 2008
Chapter Two
The sun wasn't up yet when Tezuka sat up from bed. As an athlete, he had an internal clock that told him what things to do and when to do them. His life, in the last few years, had been such a routine. But, this time, he decided not to get a long jog. His body was still adapting to the time difference in England and in Japan. Besides, Fuji was right; he needed to take a break from all the stress.
Then, Tezuka heard a soft rustle of sheets. He shut his eyes. He wasn't alone in bed and Fuji was just an arm's length away. The blue-eyed man was curled up at the edge of the bed, hugging his pillow close; a smile still lingered on his lips.
Tezuka gritted his teeth. Fuji never really changed. Fuji still looked as… peaceful… as ever. Tezuka held his breath. He could only look but not touch, he knew. And he felt such a deep sense of woe right at the very core of his being. He made a mistake and now he suffered.
"Syu – " Tezuka stopped in thought, seeing the tensai take a clean shirt out of his locker. " Fuji," he said firmly.
"Yes, buchou?" asked Fuji, smiling brightly at Tezuka.
Tezuka's brown eyes widened in his surprise. He couldn't remember when Fuji last called him that – buchou. In fact, he wondered if Fuji ever addressed him that way before. The word sounded so hauntingly detached, unlike what they had been mere days ago. " Fuji," said Tezuka calmly, "are you all right with this?"
"Of course," said Fuji, smiling brightly. "We all need to work hard, ne? The Finals is fast approaching and we have to win it…"
Furrowing his brows, Tezuka went, "I wasn't talking about practice." But he figured that he didn't really need to say that. Fuji knew very well what he had been pertaining to.
Fuji grinned. "You mean about the project that we've been paired up to? Do you want to switch partners or something? I'm fine with that."
Tezuka looked down on the floor. He now understood what Fuji was doing. The tensai was trying to make things easy for the buchou. Fuji was acting friendly and normal as though nothing happened if only to assure Tezuka that he was just fine. But Tezuka knew Fuji achingly much; he knew that Fuji was hurting underneath that smile. "I'm – "
"Kuni-chan!"
At the female voice, Tezuka turned to the door. "Megumi," he said at the sight of the brown-haired woman, who entered the clubroom.
"Isn't practice over?" she asked jovially.
"Ahh," said Tezuka, not showing the uncertainty that he felt. Then, he felt Honda's arm loop around his.
"Let's walk home together," said Honda cheerfully.
Tezuka nodded silently, afraid of looking at Fuji. He walked home with Honda because he liked her, but he didn't realize that part of his reason was because he couldn't tolerate seeing Fuji smiling yet so utterly torn.
When Tezuka put a start on his professional tennis career, he moved to Europe. All he and Fuji had were phone calls during special occasions – Christmas, new year, birthday. Then, his stomach cringed at the thought. He didn't call Fuji on the last leap year, because he feared hearing the soft voice.
Thoughts disrupted, Tezuka reached out for his ringing phone. "Megumi," he said in a steely voice. He slowly and silently crept out of the room to avoid waking Fuji.
"Kuni-chan," came the cheerful answer from Honda. "Are you in Japan now?"
"Ahh," said Tezuka shortly as he descended the stairs.
"Which hotel are you staying in? I might come back within this week," said Honda informatively. "Then, maybe, we can talk."
Tezuka frowned at his phone. "I'm not in a hotel."
"Mn," started Honda, "are you at your parents' house? I'll come – "
"I'm at Fuji's."
There was a silence and Tezuka could picture Honda's eyes turning murky. But he wouldn't have to explain; there was no need for it.
"What are you doing there?" Honda's cheery voice turned ice-cold.
Tezuka didn't answer.
"Why do you have to stay there?"
Still, no response came from Tezuka.
"I want you out of there!" came a demanding shriek.
"No," said Tezuka tersely.
"Kuni-chan," whined Honda. "You should –"
Tezuka flipped his phone shut. He just had about enough.
"'I suggest we have this for breakfast," came a monotonous voice that was very familiar.
Tezuka spun around and saw Inui at his back, holding up a liter bottle of some clear blue, bubbly liquid.
"Nya, ohayou!"
The spritely redhead, Eiji, descended noisily down the stairs, stretching his limbs. He was followed shortly by a mildly smiling Oishi and a bubbly-looking Momoshiro. The youngest of the lot, Echizen, was walking stiff-legged down the stairs, behind him was the ever annoyed-looking Kaidoh.
"Ohayou, buchou," said Momoshiro chuckling as they all gathered around the living room. "Ne," he looked around. "Where's Fuji?"
"Inui," said Oishi, who was eyeing at Inui's concoction. "Eiji could supply you with lab rats, but we can't test that juice ourselves."
" Fuji's still sleeping," said Tezuka, watching as his old teammates disturbed the silence. Inquiring eyes turned to the former buchou at once, but the latter managed to dodge the unvoiced question as the doorbell rang. Tezuka took a step forward and pushed the door ajar.
"Ohayou," said a light-hearted voice.
With calculating amber eyes, Tezuka studied the face of the person who was at the doorstep. The cheerily smiling man was black-haired, gray-eyed. Tezuka knew he had seen the face before but he couldn't name it just yet.
As if seeing Tezuka's wonder, the black-haired man offered a hand. "Yanada Reiji," he said. When Tezuka took his hand rather stiffly, he chuckled. "You might not remember me… we met a long time ago. Is Syusuke in?"
Letting go of Yanada's hand, Tezuka nodded. But he still couldn't recollect the name and the visage. Then, a frown marred his poker face. Yanada addressed Fuji by the given name.
"Is he still asleep?" asked Yanada.
Tezuka eyed the other man coldly. "Hn."
Grinning, Yanada stepped in. "I'll wake him up, then." Before Tezuka could even answer, the darker man was up the stairs.
"Yanada Reiji, nature specialist," started Inui informatively. " Fuji's boyfriend for almost a year…"
Tezuka's brown eyes went hazy as he looked at Inui.
"We've met him years ago," added the data analyst. "He owns the resort that we stayed in after the Nationals when we were in junior high."
Something odious clicked in Tezuka's brain. "Ahh," he said tonelessly, finally recalling. Yanada was the one who admitted attraction to Fuji nine years ago. But as far as he knew –
"They met again at Fuji's workplace. They've been working together, traveling places for a bit more than two years… Their first year anniversary comes in a few days…"
Tezuka's countenance remained emotionless. He didn't seem to care.
oOo
"Tezuka-buchou did not look like he was affected," said Momoshiro quietly as their former captain walked out of the kitchen and out of earshot.
"Mn," said Echizen, chugging on a box of milk. "He's always like that."
Dropping his fork on the plate of pancakes, Eiji pouted his lips. "Mou," he started, looking uncharacteristically moody. "I don't like Yanada for Fuji… if Tezuka keeps – "
"What if he really doesn't care anymore?" asked Oishi pensively.
"Fushuu," hissed Kaidoh. "He does have a girlfriend now."
Inui spread butter on his pancakes. Then, he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "There are rumors…"
Eiji raised his head. Earnestly, he asked, "What rumors?"
Pushing his pancakes aside, Inui launched with the word that had he caught from some of his friends, keeping his voice as low as possible.
oOo
"I really wanted you to take pictures of the koalas," said a chuckling Yanada as he buried his face at the hollow of Fuji's neck.
"I've so many koala pictures already," said a mildly smiling Fuji. "I could share some with you."
"But I did miss you," complained Yanada, kissing Fuji's neck deeply.
"I know, I know," said Fuji placidly. "I did – " he halted abruptly, eyes fluttering open as a figure entered the room. "Tezuka," he said, smiling back quickly.
The brown-eyed man didn't blink at the sight. His face revealed nothing as Yanada's hold tightened around Fuji. "Excuse me," said Tezuka in a hollow voice as he walked over to the closet. He grabbed a book. He didn't look back, however, as he went out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
"You're sharing this room with Tezuka Kunimitsu?" asked Yanada, gripping Fuji even closer to him.
Frowning at the closed door, Fuji stared and did not hear the question.
"Syusuke?" called Yanada whose usual light-heartedness was tainted. "Do you share this room with him?"
Smiling calmly, Fuji looked up. He couldn't possibly have missed the sharpness in Yanada's words. "Yes."
Yanada clenched his jaws. "You sleep on the same bed?"
"Hm…"
"And you won't even let me sleep here!" said Yanada, who was now glaring and had loosened his hold on Fuji.
Fuji gave Yanada a patient smile. "It doesn't mean anything, Reiji."
With grey eyes turning hazy, Yanada rose from the bed. "How can it not? He is your ex… Both of you could show the decency of staying away from each other!"
Yet again, Fuji smiled reassuringly. "We drew lots for the rooming," he explained briefly. "We're just friends… we hardly even talk to each other now." He touched Yanada's arms lightly.
Breathing in, Yanada watched the other man suspiciously. Then, he sighed, forcing an apologetic smile. "I was just… jealous, I guess. Tezuka Kunimitsu is Tezuka Kunimitsu."
Chuckling, Fuji said, "Of course, he is."
"No, I mean –"
"I wish you wouldn't get jealous of him… especially that our anniversary is fast approaching." He let out a childish grin. "Ne… where's the kangaroo I asked for? That's the gift I wanted, remember?"
Back to embracing Fuji, Yanada bit Fuji's earlobe. "I already have a gift for you. What about the gift that I was asking for."
Fuji bit his lower lip as Yanada's hand slipped inside his shirt. "No, Reiji. Stop."
Huffing, Yanada let go. "Syusuke," he said tersely. "Let me make love to you… we've been together for a year now and you won't even let me sleep beside you. Sometimes I wonder if you really love me."
Pursing his lips, Fuji said, "I'm just not ready yet. Maybe in the future."
"Will you ever be ready?" asked Yanada darkly. "You draw back from everyone, even from me. Lovemaking is all I ask of you, call it sex even… it's supposed to be easy especially for us two men to – "
"Reiji, I told you, I can't," said Fuji, creasing his brows.
"I want you, I really want you," said Yanada, apparently beginning to lose his temper. "I can't convince you, can I?"
Slowly, Fuji shook his head. "I'm sorry."
"You always say that," said Yanada, getting up. "I'm leaving."
Azure eyes fully revealed, Fuji watched as Yanada set out of the room. He clenched his fist. Sex wasn't just sex to him. But he too couldn't understand why he couldn't give himself fully to Yanada, why he couldn't give Yanada all his trust. It wasn't as if he was waiting for someone else to come… It wasn't as if that someone could care for him more…
oOo
Was there ever a time when you fell in love with a person, but had to let go? When you thought you moved on, Lady Fate toys with you and makes you meet with that one person again. Other people, other loves may have come and gone through your life and yet you never forget the way that your heart used to leap or how your body used to tremble at the presence of that one person. Then, you realize that your love for him had always been there. That person is your constant. Simply put: he is your soul-mate, your one true love.
oOo
a/n: Rawr. I hearts reviews. Could you leave one, please? Thanks! And please feel free to call Honda by any name...
Ohayou - morning greeting