Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, locations, etc. of Final Fantasy VIII; they belong only to their rightful owner, and it is not me.

Squall followed the man, not knowing where he was to lead him. A trap perhaps? He was always on high alert anyway because of his occupation as commanding officer of Balamb Garden. Not a mission, he had to remind himself repeatedly.

Not a mission… then what the hell is it!

Frustrated, he stopped walking and stood still, "Laguna," he glared, waiting until the other turned around, "Would you like to tell me what is going on?"

"Squall," he sighed, "We're nearly there. Just wait a few minutes and you will find out."

They walked on to the edge of town and reached vast open fields. Laguna gestured for him to follow him up one particular hill. The grass was lush, making soft crunching sounds beneath their feet and a breeze blew gently. When they were at the top, they also had reached a rectangular piece of stone placed on the ground, words written on it.

…A grave.

Laguna kneeled and ran his fingers over the rock, smoothing away any stray pieces grass and dirt, "I wanted to show you this."

He peered at it from above, "This is where Raine is buried? The Raine you knew."

"That's correct, Squall," he began to chuckle, "You are probably wondering what this has to do with you. But believe me," he stood and dusted his pants, "you are involved in this much more than you think."

The teenager placed a hand on his hip and shifted his weight to one leg, "Can you stop sounding so vague? I haven't come here to listen to your riddles. I would like some answers right now."

Instantly he asked a question, "Do you know anything about your parents?"

Parents… I never gave any thought about them. They are probably dead or something, or maybe they abandoned me when I was just a child. I don't really have any idea. I didn't want to think about them. When I start thinking, I tend to…

"…No," he answered bluntly.

Laguna hesitated at the sound of his cold tone, "I know a lot about your parents, Squall."

I don't want to know. They left me behind… alone. I…

"I hate them, they didn't want me."

"That's not true," the older man shouted, "They loved you and it wasn't their fault they couldn't spend your childhood watching you grow up. You can't hate them."

Squall turned away in distress and replied harshly, "You don't know how it feels – being separated from your family. The closest family I ever got were my orphanage friends and then Rinoa," his fists clenched tightly, "…But who could understand what it felt to wake up everyday with the feeling of loneliness. I hate them. I don't want anything to do with them."

Suddenly Laguna stormed towards the young boy and grabbed him by the collar, tossing him backwards so that they could look at each other, "Don't act like you're the only who suffered," he told him angrily, "Raine called for me when she had you. But I never reached her in time. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my own family. But I don't hate her for departing like she did, I still love her."

The words became clearer in Squall's mind after they had been spoken, "Raine… had me?"

Ellone had said to me before, "Raine wanted to show Laguna her new born baby... Raine kept calling out for Laguna. So no matter what, I wanted Laguna to stay in the village..."

Was that baby me…?

Kiros and Ward, they mentioned something about me having my mother's eyes. How could I forget?

"Raine married you, didn't she?" he finally found his voice.

There was a fear in Laguna's eyes, but he nodded slowly, "That's right, Squall. I'm your father."

He felt his insides go numb all over. Slowly he shook his head side to side and he clenched his fists again. Dizziness commenced and he buried his head into his hands.

This is all so wrong…

Squall glared one last time at his 'father'. Then he fled from the scene, from Winhill, and finally reached the comfort of Garden, where he would never have to face that man again.

It was early afternoon and news had already sprung around Garden of the usually-dormant commander running through the corridors in anguish, ignoring people he collided with and even tripping up a flight of stairs. Eventually he had shut himself in his dormitory and refused to come out for any reason.

Zell Dincht was doing his own running through the academy, towards the second-floor classroom where Quistis' class was currently at. He entered abruptly, startling the students as well as the Instructor. Breathlessly, he glanced around the room and locked onto his target like a hungry chimera. Without so much of a word, Rinoa Heartilly was ruthlessly dragged out of the room by the fighter. Quistis gazed on wondering what was happening but continued her class, pretending it was a regular occurrence.

"Zell!" Rinoa hissed, so as not to disrupt the class, "What is wrong with you?"

"Your… boyfriend," he said through his heavy breathing, "He isn't looking… so good."

She was bewildered. There was an image of Squall's face being horribly mutilated in some kind of tragic accident, "…What?"

"It's Squall," he seemed to regain some composure, "He's back. But he looked really… upset about something. He's locked himself in his room and I can't even persuade him to open the door. Go to him… Rinoa."

She had already disappeared before he mentioned the last sentence.

"Squall!" she yelled, banging frantically at his door when opening it was unsuccessful, "Squall, it's Rinoa. Can I come in, please?"

There was no reply.

"I'm worried, Squall," she continued, "Zell came to get me and told me what happened. Open the door, please."

Still, no answer was given. But she knew that he was inside.

"Squall, I…" and the door suddenly flew open and a rather dishevelled Squall appeared.

With an almost brutal force, he forced her inside and locked the door again. She nearly fell over but maintained her balance, yet still shocked at his sudden forwardness. Never before had he grabbed and pulled her that painfully. Then he grabbed her again and threw her against the nearest wall, pinning her against it with his own body.

"Is he angry?" thought Rinoa, clearly stunned at this unexpected change in his manner. She tried to push him away, uncertain if his intentions were whole-hearted or had been conjured up in a furious frenzy. However he shoved his lips against hers in desperation and wrapped his arms possessively around her. A forced kiss, filled with all of his negativity, wanting to release the pain welling up inside of him.

She pried her lips away from his, "Squall, please stop," she whispered. If he were to continue then surely she would start screaming.

He obeyed, his brash persona disappearing quickly, leaving behind a face filled with sadness. At once, he released her and sat on his bed, hiseyes watchingthe floor, "I'm sorry," he muttered.

Cautiously she approached and sat beside him. She gasped and took his hands into her, "Squall, your hands are bleeding! Wait here, I'll get some bandages."

Hastily she entered his bathroom and searched the cupboard for a first-aid kit. With expert care, she cleaned his wounds and wrapped his wrists with the bandage. As she worked on his injuries, he couldn't help but stare at her. The way her hair moved as she tended to his hands and wrists, the concentration in her eyes and definitely the way she would bite her lip when in deep thought.

He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and surprise dawned on her face, which then turned into happiness.

"Can you tell me what happened, Squall?"

At once, his eyes darkened and the miserable feelings came back to him. He felt the horrible sensation in his chest area. Rinoa gave him a small smile and wrapped her arms around him, cradling him like she would to a child, hoping that he wouldn't push her away.

And he didn't.

A moment of weakness for Squall. Will he tell Rinoa what happened? And will he face what he has feared all these years or run away, like he did to Laguna. Find out in the next chapter of Learning to Live: 'Denial, confusion, sadness.'