"…It was Laguna," he finally said, after a long silence. He was still in Rinoa's embrace, his head resting in the crook of her neck. It comforted him somehow, gave him that little more courage that he needed to keep himself together.
She didn't say anything in return, knowing she was only here to listen. Gently she ran her fingers through his messy hair and looked worryingly down at him.
"He said that he is my father," the words were painful as he spat them out.
Rinoa's eyes widened but still she forced herself not to gasp. Instead she tightened her hold on him. That was when she felt something moist slide down the smoothness of her neck. She gazed at him carefully. No, he wasn't crying, but there were some tears in his eyes. She tried to place herself in his position. He had been alone for many years, without so much of a family. Yet without warning, he was not alone anymore and he had a family. Many wouldn't find that to be a bad thing. However, this was Squall. He didn't like drastic change to his personal life. That was why he always kept to himself, so he wouldn't be hurt later on.
Suddenly, Squall stood and released himself from her arms, feeling a sudden change of heart within him, "Rinoa," he murmured, "I want to be alone for a while."
She also rose onto her feet and stared at him, "But, you're hurting. I want to…"
"Please go," he shook his head and looked away, "I'd rather you not see me like this."
Of course, she understood why he would want to be alone. He was angry about it. But she couldn't help but feel a little bit hurt. She mentally hoped that he would not withdraw back into his own little world and refuse to come out again. After trying so hard to get him to open up, it would be a waste if he threw that all away.
She nodded and gave one last glance at him before she left his room. There were also a few tears in her eyes.
Quistis Trepe was pacing towards the dormitories when Rinoa came out of Squall's room. She stopped and waited until the younger woman reached her, noticing the rather sad expression on her face, "Zell told me about it when my class finished. Is he all right?"
She didn't know whether to say yes or no, "He just said he wants to be alone."
"I see," she shot a look at his door, "Come, walk with me. And you can tell both Zell and me what happened."
"Where are Selphie and Irvine?"
The Instructor paused in thought, "Apparently they took the Ragnarok to visit Trabia Garden. Those two seem to be conspiring something over there. From what I hear, they're trying to re-establish classes there," she adjusted her glasses, "But I think there is more to it."
Rinoa noticed that they were heading towards the library. "Oh yeah," she said silently, "Zell must be there because of that girl in the library."
They entered and sure enough, he was there speaking to the girl. Quistis sneaked quietly beside Zell and elbowed him. He stopped and turned around, realising that his friends were now here. So he excused himself with a smile and joined the two women in the place behind the bookshelves.
"How's Squall," immediately he asked.
"I'm not sure. I was able to see him, but then he told me he wanted to be alone, so I left," she explained, "He seems really angry."
Quistis glanced at the sorceress, "So what happened?" she inquired.
"It turns out that Laguna is his father…" she began.
"Say what!" Zell shouted, earning a few glares from nearby students who were studying for their exams.
"Oh, I see," said Quistis, a reaction contrasting to Zell's, "I can see why that upsets him."
Rinoa sighed and sat down on the nearest chair, "What should we do?"
"I think he will be okay," the blonde woman thought loudly, placing her fingers on her chin, "You could speak to him more, Rinoa. Try to get him to tell you how he feels and stuff like that. Knowing him, if he keeps it inside…"
The PA system chose that moment to make an announcement, "Commander Leonheart, report to the bridge this minute. Repeat. Commander Leonheart, report to the bridge this minute."
"Uh oh," Zell's pessimistic voice sounded.
Quistis nodded, "Let's go see what is happening."
When they reached the third floor, Squall had already come down from the bridge. He didn't look like his happy self. Actually, his happy self contained his emotionless appearance but this time, there was a mixture of sorrow and resentment across his face.
"They gave me an office," he said, before they could even ask, "It's next to Cid's office. That is all."
He tried to walk towards the elevator but was stopped by his three comrades. By their actions, he figured that Rinoa had already told them what had happened.
"…What?" he spoke in a slightly irritated tone.
Quistis crossed her arms, "We want to help you, Squall."
Help? How could you possibly help me…?
"I don't need your help. I won't ever see that man again. He means nothing to me."
"Squall," Rinoa moved towards him and held onto his arm, "We are here for you. We want to listen to all the things you want to say."
Don't pity me. I don't need sympathy. I will be fine. Stop acting like I have some kind of mental disease. Stop it.
In a surprising move, he shoved her away forcefully. Zell caught her just in time before she hit the ground. "What the hell has gotten into you, man?" he yelled at the commander, "I know you're angry, but this is Rinoa. She is only trying to help. She cares, we all do."
Rinoa stood up, clearly hurt with being pushed away so roughly, "Forget it," she finally muttered, "I'm going," she stared harshly at Squall before taking the elevator down by herself.
His remaining two friends watched as his face fell to one of regret. Quistis approached him warily, "She will be okay. If you talk to her and apologise, I'm sure she will forgive you. I know you feel very distressed with your own problems, but don't forget that you should not bring harm to her. She adores you, you already know that. And we all look up to you, so talk to any of us whenever you feel like it," she turned to leave and dragged Zell along with her.
Squall watched as they descended. I'm sorry, Rinoa. I shouldn't take out my frustrations on you.
Rinoa knew that acting like a spoilt brat probably wasn't the best way to get to Squall's emotions. But truly, this time he had gone too far. Never had he been so physically harsh with her. She sat on her bed and stared into space. Tiredly she drew her knees towards her body and rested her head on them. The sun was starting to set, casting warm colours into the room.
She heard footsteps and then an uncertain knock on her door. By the sound of it, she predicted the person to be Squall. Perhaps she was joyed that he was at her door, but still she was upset about what had happened before.
Slowly she opened the door and there was Squall, with an unreadable expression on his face. She hesitated before letting him in. Even he was hesitating, as he walked and sat on her bed.
The door was closed and locked. Then she joined him.
Silence.
"I'm sorry," she apologised, after not being able to stand the quietness, "I know that you're having a difficult time. I should be more considerate…"
He shook his head, "No. I hurt you. I should be sorry."
"Mmm," she trailed off into silence again.
It was very discomforting for Squall to be in such silence. He wanted to feel her close by again and be assured that she wasn't having second thoughts about her feelings for him. He really liked her, she had to know that.
Timidly, he placed his hand over hers, hoping that she wasn't going to scream. She didn't. The feel of her skin beneath his hand was warm and inviting. He could feel it since he wasn't wearing gloves. He could get used to this feeling, he thought.
"What am I to you, Squall?" she asked softly.
She's Rinoa. What else could she be?
"…You're Rinoa."
"But who do you see me as?" she continued to press on, "A comrade, a best friend, a…" the list went on but he tuned out.
Oh, she's trying to give me a hint. Come to think of it, she probably likes those kinds of things. She probably already knows how I feel, but I guess she wants a title.
Squall held her hand tighter, "Then will you be my girlfriend, Rinoa?"
She blushed then and nodded. Then she laughed inwardly about one time when Selphie had told her that Squall should propose to her. Rinoa had shaken her head at the idea, saying, "I'm only seventeen, Selphie. I'm not that desperate to be his wife. I'm barely even his girlfriend."
"Well," she smiled, "One step closer."
Squall and Rinoa have made up and become an official couple. Smooth sailing for them? Where on earth is Selphie and Irvine? Laguna tries to get in contact with Squall, as a father should. But does Squall really want to call him, "Dad"? Just the thought of it sends him into a series of shivers. Find out in the next chapter of Learning to Live: "Days Spent Wisely."