Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, locations, etc. of Final Fantasy VIII; they belong only to their rightful owner, and it is not me.

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy and safe new year. Thank you to anyone who has taken their time to read my piece, and especially thanks to those who posted reviews. And also apologies for the lateness of this chapter. I have no credible excuse except for my own personal laziness (insert innocent smile)

"Please tell me again," said Martine, "Where are you taking me? And why are you taking me there?"

Irvine turned to the man sitting in the chair, "Sir, we are taking you to Trabia Garden. We need your knowledge because you were once the master of a Garden."

"That was in the past, Kinneas," Martine stared fiercely at him, "I've retired and I would rather live the rest of my life in FH, in peace. I don't want to be involved in any military issues anymore. I was useless back then and I would rather not go through it again. Now, would you please return me to FH this instant?"

Selphie exclaimed happily from the control panel of the Ragnarok, "No can do, Mr Martine. You're coming with us!"

"Yeah!" Irvine chimed in agreement, "And when Selphie get this determined, you have absolutely no possible chance of escape."

"We're nearly there! Aargh, mountains!" Selphie cried and the Ragnarok seemed to lose control for a second.

Once she had corrected the ship, she chuckled sheepishly, "Sorry, guess I got kind of… excited."

Martine sighed and slumped sadly in his seat, "Hyne, help me."

They finally landed (safely) and trekked towards Trabia Garden. Repairs were still being carried out ever since the bomb attack. The place wasn't so much like a warzone anymore though. The main foundation of the new Garden was slowly emerging from the rubble and it was bustling with many people, there was an outdoor class being held with a few students. The basketball court at the back had been repaired so that was where the classes were mainly being held.

Martine gazed upwards in awe at the towering structure, "Where did you find all the money to fund this project?"

Selphie smugly answered, "Sir Laguna, president of Esthar, is giving us the money to rebuild this place. You seem to like it, Mr Martine."

"You must be imagining it, Miss Selphie," he retorted, before continuing onwards, "I don't fancy this place at all."

She smiled at Irvine before they followed the former headmaster to explore the rest of the new Garden.

Squall ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He had been stuck in his office for three hours trying to figure out how he was going to deal with the shortage of Instructors in the Garden. With the more flow of students entering the academy and a small flow of Instructors leaving, retiring, or whatever other reason there was, classes became large and chaotic. A few of the senior teachers were threatening to quit if more SeeDs and Instructors weren't provided.

I don't understand why I must force myself into thinking up a solution. Cid is the headmaster… I'm just the commander. He just hasn't been himself lately. All he does is throw the workload on me. What if… he wants me to become headmaster as well? Oh mercy… this is giving me a headache.

There was a knock at the door, "…Yes," said Squall in a monotonous voice.

A young man with blonde hair stepped inside. He wore his usual white coat and had his gunblade by his side. He smirked at the commander spoke sarcastically, "Squall, you look happy to see me."

"Seifer, I wasn't expecting to see your actual return to Garden," he replied coldly, "I thought you would have failed the entrance exam."

"Ouch…" he said with more sarcasm, "Lighten up, commander. I haven't come here to put up with your girly tantrums. You may not like me but that doesn't mean I'm the evil guy. After all, I've been given a second chance to be here and I will make something of myself. Like Quistis, she was reappointed as an Instructor…"

Squall waved his hand as if to say whatever, "It's because she is qualified to be. And maybe it's also due to the fact that when we were fighting against the evil sorceress, she wasn't fighting alongside the sorceress."

"What a way to damage my ego," muttered the blonde, before speaking up again, "But hey, I was confused at the time. The whole prospect of being a knight was so… welcoming. And…"

"If you have something to say, please say it now," he interrupted, "I have a lot of work to do."

Seifer slammed his palm on the desk, "I am going to become a SeeD!"

"…I see."

"That's about it, really," he turned towards the door, "I just want to inform you. I am going to train extra hard. And the next time we practise, I am going to make that scar of yours into an 'X." And then he left, closing the door behind him.

…He always wants to beat me. But at least he's thinking for himself now… I guess. Am I thinking for myself? Is it a good thing? Or a bad thing?

"Squall, over here!" Rinoa called out to him, waving madly, as he entered the cafeteria.

The rest of his comrades, minus Selphie and Irvine, were seated at a table. There was an empty seat next to Rinoa so he figured that he should sit there. After all, she was his girlfriend.

Girlfriend… it sounds so immature but I guess that's what she wants to be.

"Are you all right?" asked the young sorceress, "You look really tired, Squall."

"...I'm fine," he answered, giving her the smallest hint of a smile that only she could tell was a smile, "I've just been having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with the shortages of SeeDs and Instructors. And also the constant threats of a few Instructors."

Quistis sighed, "I've tried to talk to them but they won't listen. I think the one leading them is Instructor Aki. You know how he has been in Garden longer than any of us. He's well-respected by everyone. That's why most of them are siding with him."

Zell eventually spoke up, placing one of his ankles on the opposite knee, "You know, if it's Instructors you need, I could always help out."

There was a long silence at the table, until all of them turned to Squall for a final decision.

He coughed, ever so subtle, "I don't really have much of a choice except to agree with Zell. He has the qualities to become one because he is a SeeD after all and he has done exactly what we are bred to do – to defeat the sorceress. We do need more Instructors. I guess we'll just have to improvise for now. Zell, I am promoting you to Instructor. Quistis, I want you to deal with all the paperwork."

"Oh yeah!" Zell yelled and struck his fist into the air, nearly toppling over in his chair.

"If you need any help, at all. ANY help, I mean," Quistis tried to hide her anxiousness behind a smile, "Please feel free to ask Xu or me."

As Zell and Quistis chatted on; Zell pretending his pride had been mortally wounded at being underestimated and Quistis grimacing, assuring that she was going to give all possible assistance, Rinoa turned to stare at her new boyfriend. There was a blank expression on his face and it wasn't a content one either. She would ask him later, she decided.

Squall stared off into space. Even Zell can make his own decisions and lead his own life. Everyone else can… why can't I?

Lunch had ended and he was back in his office, trying to rearrange classes. He had to decide between instantly accelerating all the gifted students into SeeDs, or making sure that everyone was treated equally in order to become SeeDs, which was more time-consuming. The Instructors had demanded that the commander take the fastest method to train new SeeDs but he knew it would be unfair to the other students who weren't selected.

There was a light flashing on his new answering machine. It read the number '1' – one message. Someone must have called during lunch. He pressed the play button and listened:

"Uh… hey Squall. It's your … I mean, it's Laguna. When we last talked, you sort of ran off before I could finish. I still have many things to say to you… if you want to hear them, I mean. I know you're… well… I know it is difficult now but you're my… son. I want to make amends… for all the times I wasn't there for you. Please, Squall. I'd like to talk to you more. Well… see you later." Click.

Without much thought, Squall pressed the 'delete' button and pushed the thought of Laguna out of his mind. He felt angry again.

Why can't he just leave me alone? Why did he have to admit all those things about the past? He should have just left it there. It wouldn't have bothered me if he never told me I was related to him by blood… his son. His son! Why me? Why not someone else? Why did it have to be me? I feel troubled enough… why did this have to happen? And why won't it go away no matter how hard I try to occupy myself with other things? Why…?

Everyone seems to be living a happier life ever since we defeated Ultimecia. Selphie and Irvine are off in their own little world doing who knows what, Quistis is an Instructor again and being a role model for young students, Zell has made a bold decision by himself and decided to become an Instructor, hell even Seifer's got his own ambitions, and Rinoa…

She's just so happy now. I don't want her to be unhappy because of me. Me… I don't feel any happier. Everyone's doing their own thing with their own little goal in mind. What about me? I'm not doing anything at all except being stuck here with no idea where to go, or what goal to achieve. It's not like back then, when we all had this one goal to defeat the sorceress. But now, defeating sorceresses is not my goal; that is the goal of the Gardens.

I feel so lost…

There was a gentle tapping at the door, "Squall?" it was Rinoa's voice.

The door was already unlocked however he made himself stand to answer it since it was her. He opened it and was met with a very cheery Rinoa. She grinned and seemed to 'bounce' into the room happily.

"Hey, I'm just dropping by," her face suddenly fell into one of shyness, "You know, checking out how you're doing."

Because I'm your boyfriend and that's what boyfriends and girlfriends do, right?

"…I'm tired," he told her, "I think I'll head to my room soon."

She noticed something was amiss about him and it was more obvious than during lunch. He was being his usual self, but it seemed more disturbed than usual. Well that was how she felt, but she wasn't too sure if she was right, "Did something happen, Squall?"

He paused and gazed at her warily, debating whether or not to tell her, "…Laguna called and left a message on my answering machine."

Immediately she understood what he meant without him saying furthermore. She moved closer to him and held his hands, tilting her head upwards to stare at him. "I'm here," was all she said.

His heart beat a little quicker at her proximity and for a moment, he forgot all his worries. She reached out for him as he did the same. They held each other tightly, her head against his chest and her arms wrapped securely around his back.

…Is she all I have left to support me when I feel like I'm falling?

He waited until her head lifted and she looked at him. Slowly, he leaned his head downwards and kissed her softly on the lips. It was a gentle and innocent kiss, but it held all the emotion he felt.

Will she still be here tomorrow, next week or next year? Even when I have nothing to offer her…? Even when I have no ambitions or dreams… would she want to be here…?

Squall is feeling slightly incomplete. The Laguna issue isn't making it any better. And he feels like everyone is leaving him behind and maybe even thinks that Rinoa will too eventually. Will these insecurities become even worse? What will become of the heroic Squall? Find out in the next chapter of Learning to Live: "All I have Left."