Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, locations, etc. of Final Fantasy VIII; they belong only to their rightful owner, and it is not me.

Rinoa leaned back into Squall's chest and smiled. After finishing off some more work, he had locked up his office and together they had walked backed to his dorm room. Along the way he had sort of tried to hold her hand, but after about five seconds of contact, he had let go. She had glanced at him and hid a smile, seeing his tough exterior but realising the child-like persona in him. Now they were sitting together on his bed and he was leaning against the wall so that Rinoa fit snugly between his legs.

The young woman sensed unrest, a disturbance, in her boyfriend. There was definitely something bothering him and the problem seemed beyond the Laguna subject. Maybe there was something deeper which made him feel this way, she thought silently and wondered if she would be able to help if he told her what it was.

"Squall…?" she called to him gently, hoping he had not fallen asleep.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and held it there tightly, "Hmmm," he grunted. It was meant to sound like a question, but he was too tired to care.

"What's on your mind?" she played with his other hand, slightly irritated he still had his gloves on.

"…Nothing."

Rinoa placed his hand on her cheek in a sign of affection, "You can share it with me, you know," and she smiled, knowing that he could feel it even if he couldn't see it.

His other hand moved to play with her long hair, "I don't know. I guess I think of things…" he sounded very uncertain.

"Like what?" she continued to press the matter.

He paused, wondering what she was planning to do, "Things like you, I guess." Maybe that is what she wants to hear?

She sat up and turned around so that she was kneeling and facing him, "Then what do you think of when you think of me?"

"…Why are you interrogating me?"

With no credible answer, she pretended to frown, "Because I am your girlfriend."

Girlfriend, again. I'm really not used to this. "And that lets you become my interrogator?" he asked incredulously.

She hit his shoulder lightly, showing she was displeased with his question, "No, because I can ask you things so I can understand you better."

Suspiciously, he narrowed his eyes, "Is that why you became my girlfriend? Because I was misunderstood?"

"Squall!" she cried, clearly frustrated, and pressed her forehead against his chest as if to head-butt him, "Stop teasing me and answer the question," her voice now a low murmur, almost a threat.

What's on my mind…? A lot of things – stuff got to do with you, my friends, Garden, Laguna… no not Laguna; I don't want to think about him. Now when I think of you, Rinoa… I feel scared. Scared that these moments are short-lived and that one day, I won't be able to feel you close to me; that maybe you will leave me behind. Maybe you won't like being with me anymore. What if I end up all alone again, and lose everything. How harder will it be for me…? I don't know… there are too many things to think about.

He still felt unsure of himself, of what to do or say. However he willed himself to wrap his arms firmly around her small frame, making sure that she wasn't going to escape. And praying that she wouldn't try to escape in the future, "I…" he tried to find the words, "I want you… to stay close to me."

She smiled and turned her head to the side, "Oh, that is the third time you've said that to me," she said dreamily.

"…What?" Obviously, he was in his own dreamy state as well.

"You forgot again?" she moaned in disappointment.

Immediately he attempted to find a way out of this situation, hoping she wasn't going to throw her sorceress attacks on him, "It was my GF, it makes me forget things when I junction…"

"You used that same excuse last time, as well!"

He remained silent, but interested, as she lifted her head and glared at him with murderous eyes. Then her expression softened and she giggled, "I can't be mad at you when you give me that look," she kissed his lips to comfort him.

When the kiss ended, she remained close to his face and stared directly into his eyes, "I will always stay close to you, Squall."

He knew that she meant it. Her eyes were full of determination so it couldn't have been a lie. He wondered if she understood what he was trying to say – that he didn't just want her to stay now… but he wanted her to stay for a lifetime. Yet, it was reassuring to know that she wanted to be here, even when he felt like he didn't have much to give her. He didn't feel so troubled anymore.

Squall woke up the next day to the sound of heavy banging on his door. He was alone because Rinoa had gone back to her own room last night. It was Garden regulations and there were no exceptions, even if he was commander and had saved the world from an ultimate apocalypse. Rules were rules, even for the leader. Unless we were married, he shoved that thought out of his head pretty quickly.

The banging was continuous so he finally trudged over to the door and opened it, hoping not to look too annoyed. It didn't matter what he looked like, the person at the door would have reacted the same, regardless.

"Hi hi, Squall!" Selphie bounced in front of his door, "Good morning, we're back!"

He looked over her shoulder and saw an empty hallway, "And Irvine?"

"Oh, he's just dead tired," she answered cheerily, "We came back late last night, but we didn't want to wake everyone up, so yeah!"

"…I see," the commander figured that asking about her activities in the past few days would be more appropriate if the entire gang were there to hear it.

Selphie grinned, "We have so much to tell so I'm gonna invite you and the others to breakfast. I already woke everyone up, except Irvine. He can sleep through anything, that guy. Well, we will see you at the cafeteria in about half an hour. See you later!" and she skipped down the hallway towards Irvine's place, humming happily.

Squall yawned and wished that he could just go back to sleep. It was way too early for anything. How does Selphie manage to stay so energetic every hour of the day, she hides her exhaustion well from us. But he knew it was best to do what she wanted, since she would get dangerous when things did not go her way. No, spoilt isn't the word… persistent is more like it.

He had a long shower, hoping that it would wake him up. It did, to an extent. Dressing in his usual attire, he fixed his hair to his usual style and he was pretty much ready in the time that Selphie had given him.

The walk to the cafeteria was quiet. Everyone was still asleep at this early hour. When he entered, he spotted his friends sitting in the usual spot. They didn't notice him yet so he paced over, his footsteps echoing on the tiles. Rinoa was first to lift her head and see him. She waved and smiled, making everyone turn his way.

"Mornin' commander," said Zell.

Squall grumbled and took a seat next to his girlfriend, "Morning," he greeted everyone, "Please don't address me as commander."

The sorceress whispered so he could only hear, "Good morning, Squall."

He glanced at her briefly, before placing his hand on hers for a moment. It was nice waking up and being able to see her first thing in the morning. The others grinned at each other secretly. As days went on, Squall was changing. He depended on people a lot more, though not entirely. Nonetheless he still depended on his comrades. He especially depended on Rinoa and that made everyone glad.

Breakfast was soon served and they all dug in. The meal was quiet at first, the clatter of cutlery and the munching of bread was all that could be heard. Finally Selphie turned to the commander and then eyed the rest of the group, "So, did you miss us?" she asked cheerfully, referring to Irvine and herself.

Slowly, he finished his mouthful before speaking, "It's been quiet," he answered.

"The place has been a cemetery since you've been away," Quistis spoke up, "At least students haven't had to put up with your morning ritual of shouting 'Good morning!' in their faces every day."

"I also noticed that the female cadets came out while you were gone," Zell flashed a smile in Irvine's direction, "They weren't afraid to walk Garden unescorted when they realised you were gone."

The cowboy pretended to be mortified, "Oh, it pains me to hear that. I have done nothing but merely offer those women flowers…"

"And free passes to your room," Selphie finished for him, whacking the brim of his hat, "You were stalking them! And don't ask how I found out about that!"

He sighed happily, "How you are so intelligent, my dear. Are you jealous? If you are, I find you far more desirable than anything else in this world…" He was interrupted when she hit his hat again.

"So where have you been, Selphie?" Rinoa questioned with a teasing smile, "Were you two planning to run away from us and get up to something?"

The usually energetic female tried to hide her blush. She turned to her boyfriend and realised that he was winking suggestively at everyone. Angered and flustered, she groaned, "Rin please, we don't need another Irvine," and she giggled nervously.

Rinoa replied innocently, "Why, Selphie! What are you thinking? I was just asking what you two have been up to."

During the laughter, Squall turned towards his girlfriend and wondered what she had on her mind. He wondered if she was changing as well; maturing perhaps. She wasn't really the kind of person to crack jokes with underlying innuendoes. It's not a bad thing… it would be good for… STOP! The brakes in his brain screeched to a halt. No, she's not an object…… … hell, am I turning into Irvine? Damn him and his vulgarities.

When the hilarity subsided, Selphie turned serious again, "Irvine and I used the Ragnarok to go to Trabia Garden. Along the way, we picked up Martine, the former garden master, if you guys remember?"

Everyone nodded before she went on, "Actually we kind of forced him on. He objected to what we were doing because he was retired and he didn't want to bring up his past and stuff like that. But when we got there and he saw the place slowly coming into shape, he ended up really liking it. So it's good that we've got an expert to assist us now. Trabia's being rebuilt, piece by piece. I really want the place to be as busy as it was before… before the disaster. And there would be a garden of flowers to honour the dead," there were some tears in her eyes.

Quistis held onto her hand, "That's really great, Selphie. I'm sure they would appreciate what you have done."

The girl chuckled through her tears, "Thanks."

"Hey," Zell began, "if you're rebuilding Trabia, where are you getting all the money to do it?"

Instantly her face brightened, "Oh, yeah! I forgot to mention. Sir Laguna was sooo kind to lend us the funds to get everything fixed. He's amazing! And so nice too…"

Laguna…

She stopped when she discovered the looks on her companions' faces. Everybody, excluding Irvine and Squall, had the same expression on their face – eyes and mouth wide open and faces pale with fear. Irvine bore a look of curiosity, glancing at each person, wondering what was wrong. And Squall. His eyes were narrowed into furious slits, his eyebrows drawn lower then usual, his teeth were clenched and he was breathing at rapid intervals; the exact epitome of rage he became.

At the mere mention of his supposed father's name, he felt his inside burn with utter hatred. He wasn't angry at the one who mentioned the name. In fact, he couldn't comprehend why he was so worked up about it all. However he felt his face turn red with fury and his fists clenched. He stood up, his chair skidding across the floor and nearly toppling over.

"…Excuse me," he murmured, his voice deep and unlike anything that he or the others had ever heard.

He fought the urge to scream and wake up all the people in the academy. He fought the urge to hurl his fist at the nearest wall. He fought the urge to take out his gunblade and massacre those who were in his way as he stormed out of the cafeteria back to the confines of his room; the only place he could think of.

Selphie appeared absolutely crestfallen at what had happened, "I…" she tried to understand what was going on.

After a second's deliberation, Rinoa stood, "It's okay Selphie, you didn't do anything wrong. I'll go speak with him," she told her before leaving as well.

"Did something happen while we were gone?" Irvine's face was now serious and worried.

Zell coughed so the female instructor decided to explain, "Squall found out about his parents… his father is…"

Throughout the cafeteria and possible outside, the sound of Selphie's wall-shaking shriek could be heard, "WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

Looks like yet another obstacle for Squall. What happens when Rinoa finds him? Will he be all right? How many more things could possible go wrong for him? And what does he finally do? Find out in the next chapter of Learning to Live: "My Mind."