The Break

Show: Dark Angel

Rating: M

Status: WIP

Genre: Drama/Romance

Pairing: M/A

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from anything, or anything else

Summary: Even supersoldiers have limits. Max unknowingly pushes Alec to breaking point. The newly appointed leader of the Freaks finds he has some unexpected emotional issues to deal with.

Chapter 6: Providence

There was a tense moment of silence between them as Alec kept moving about the space as if checking they were really alone. Max just stood rigid in the middle of the room warily waiting for him to start.

Alec stopped by the tool bench facing away from her and fingered the spark plugs that were lined up there. He picked up a crow bar and turned it over in his hands.

"Look Max," He said "I'm doing this for your own good."

"Doing what? Blanking me? Cutting me out of Terminal city affairs?" She spoke evenly but couldn't help but sound bitter.

"Hey, you brought that on yourself." Alec snapped turning at last to face her.

"So it's a punishment?"

"You wanted me to take charge," Alec stood forward spreading his arms "so this is me taking charge."

"You're making an example of me then."

"I'm making the perfect example of you, Max." Alec cheered, "It doesn't matter how high and mighty you are. If you break the rules the results are the same. You create the situation, you face the consequences."

Max crossed her arms and pouted angrily "Well if your mission was to make me miserable, congratulations you've got the job done."

"Oh right, because this is all about how you feel. Do you think you could drop the self pitying act for five minutes? It's always the same with you. It's always about how you suffer, about how much you have had to deal with. Well what if it's not about you? What if it's about everyone else? What if it's about me?" The dangerous light was back in his eye. Max stepped back as she recognised it, burying her hurt as she reminded herself she was here to resolve things. Alec sighed and rubbed one hand hard against his temple.

"Miserable," He repeated bitterly, "I'm fuckin' miserable. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm under appreciated and I feel ... betrayed."

Max frowned "Betrayed?" She stepped forward concerned, her hand reaching toward him. "Who betrayed you?"

"You did!" His head snapped up, his words incredulous, his blazing eyes boring into hers. "You gave me this job and for a moment I thought that we'd finally gotten past all our crap, that you trusted me, that someone believed in me and I was finally where I was supposed to be. Just for you to go and throw it all in my face by openly challenging me, and then ignoring my orders altogether. Proving that you never had any faith in me and giving everyone else a reason to doubt me. I can deal with you thinking so little of me; you've never tried to hide your low opinion ..."

Max shot forward urgently at this "No! I don't have ..."

"Shut up!" Alec shouted harshly slamming his fist down on the car bonnet beside him, "You wanted the truth, so you are going to have it, the whole unabridged truth." Alec started pacing to work out some of his rage that just kept bubbling up. Max looked away feeling keenly how much of a role reversal this really was compared to a year ago.

"I can understand why you might not care about yourself," Alec stopped as his voice levelled out, "You've always favoured a little self sacrifice ... or maybe its self deprecation, I know all about self hate..." Alec looked down his fist forming tight trembling balls at his sides. "But do you really care so little about the rest of us?"

Max was taken aback "What?"

"To throw your life away like it was nothing! To go out on suicide missions on your own! I know you hate being manticore's prize science project but tough shit, that doesn't give you the right to forget about the rest of the human race. And did you not think what it would mean to your friends? And the 'family' that you harp on about so much? Or the city of freaks that look up to you like their guide?" Max had the decency to look ashamed, Alec was visibly shaking. He was an emotional barrage and though it scared her Max tried to touch him, to settle him down. But Alec shook her off.

"It's not like I meant to go and die! Look at me, I'm right here, I didn't die." She said trying to keep her voice level but Max never took criticism well.

"You did! You died, you were dead ...you were dead. For a few minutes you were gone and I just ..." Alec shook his head as the rest of his sentence died. His fists were tightly balled at his side and in that moment of silence his jaw was clenched tightly shut. He was unbelievably frustrated with himself. A Deep growl erupted from his throat and he kick the Cadillac with such force that it almost toppled straight over.

He looked down at his hands as if he could see the thin threads of his sanity slip through them. He closed his eyes and tried not to remember that night, the way he'd lost control but all those same feelings came cascading to the surface and he couldn't seem to suppress them anymore. And it scared the shit out of him.

Alec slumped against the car and slid to the floor as images of his ferocious outburst played through his mind. He saw his own fist slam down again and again on her fragile form.

Max felt the ache in her chest return but not with the same force and her hand moved unconsciously to rub the area over her heart. She looked at Alec as he sat down heavily on the floor. He seemed so broken compared to the strong stature of a man he had been earlier that day. A strange calm settled over the room and max was almost pained to break it.

"I'm sorry." She whispered gently to him. "So cutting me out of TC affairs was not just for my own good, fine. What about completely blanking me?" The silence that followed seemed to stretch out so long Max began to wonder if he intended to answer at all.

"That was for my own good." He said finally, seeming a little more under control. Max frowned and Alec sighed. "If I looked at you then I might talk to you, and if I talked to you I might forgive you, and if I forgave you ..." Alec trailed off shaking his head at himself. Max sagged feeling more depressed than when she first came in here. She had a horrible feeling deep down that she knew the end of that sentence.

"Because if you forgave me then we'd be friends again right? And you don't want that." Alec chuckled mirthlessly and laid his head back against the car behind him. He was torn between making sure she didn't misunderstand or just running with it and pushing her out to a safe distance because in the end it would be easier.

When he didn't answer her Max continued filling in the blanks on her own, "Because if we're not friends then you don't have to care!?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"That's exactly it." He said with a terrifying sincerity that made Max's eyes sting.

"No one's making you care." She growled bitterly.

"I know, it's ridiculous right? I'm the leader of the Freak Nation for crying out loud, I have three thousand transgenics and transhumans relying on me. I have food to secure, strategies to write, and weapons to collect. We're sitting here like ducks in this toxic holding pen waiting to see if this day is our last on this god forsaken planet, and all I can think about is you .."

Alec had a feeling he should stop talking but the flood gates were wedged wide open and nothing seemed to get in the way of the torrent. He wasn't even really talking to her anymore. Max stayed very still, her eyes wide and unblinking as he went on.

".. I should be thinking 'how can we protect ourselves?' not 'is she safe?' I've let things slip, I crossed a line I never should have crossed and I really need to back track before it gets any worse. I was so beyond control when I thought you were... I don't want to be waiting around for the thing that tips me over the edge, the thing that finally turns me Ben."

Max was stunned. Just when she thought that everything between them was over, that whatever friendship she thought they had had been all some kind of delusion on her side he goes and turns it around on her. It felt like he was telling her that no one could care more.

"I can't lose it like that again..." Alec covered his face with his hands unable to bare much more, his whole body felt like it was about to shatter into a million pieces. Max stepped forward suddenly feeling like she needed to hold him but certain he wouldn't welcome the gesture. Instead she struggled for the right words that would bridge the gap between them if she physically couldn't.

"Alec, you're not going mad. You are so strong, much stronger than..." Max stopped abruptly as a cold shiver ran down her spine and the hairs on the back of her neck sprang up. All her senses were suddenly alert and a feeling of dread was knotting her stomach. She'd had this feeling before but only a couple of times, once in Jam Pony. She straightened as she tried to focus in on the feeling.

"Alec," she said slowly and then more urgently as the feeling grew. "Alec!"

The change in her voice drew his attention to her. She stood rigid her eyes fervent her breathing shallow and quick.

"What is it?" Alec stood quickly coming to her side as he tried to pick up on whatever danger she seemed tuned into.

"They're coming." She said simply.

"Who?"

"Familiars. Lots of them," Alec's eyes widened," And their going to breach the compound. Alec, they're coming in."

Alec's face cleared as his instincts kicked in. In a moment he was formulating plans and his phone was out ready to put them in motion.

"Mole, get to the armoury and start gearing people up ... you heard me ... Max's spider sense is tingling ... well lets not wait and see ... good." He turned to Max. "How long have we got?"

"Fifteen - twenty minutes tops."

"You've got ten minutes, gather everyone outside HQ, I'll be there in a minute." Alec hung up. He made a couple more calls to get his snipers and barricades in place all the time keeping an eye on Max as he spoke. She looked edgy probably from a burst of adrenalin.

"Max," He put a hand on her shoulder making her jump as she refocused on him. "I want you to stay out of sight. Go find Josh and stay with him. Stay out of this one." Max looked up at him with wide eyes and nodded knowing that she couldn't fight him on this one.

"They're going to breach from the top end of East Street." She said glad to finally be of some use. In one swift movement Alec slipped his hand into her pocket, pulled her phone out and flipped it open.

"You get anymore vibes, call me." Alec waited for her to take the phone before he made to leave. But Max stopped him be grabbing his sleeve.

"Alec ... I believe in you."

A/N: I hope that last line isn't too tacky. Well as promised the next chapter, less light-hearted than the last one but hopefully making progress without being too obvious. Let me know what you think and I'll get on with the next chapter. Thanks for reading. x