Welcome back, dear readers, to the unending hilarity that is the Lanes at Christmastime. This chapter carries a warning: don't eat or drink anything that you don't mind snorting out of your nose in unexpected laughter. So many loose threads are finally getting tied up, and the relief has put the cast in a jocular mood. Read and enjoy!
Thanks as always to our fabulous beta team, and to you, our constant readers. It has been a very long ride, and this close to the end we the authors can't help but feel an uneasy mix of sorrow and relief. It'll be nice not to sit up til 5 AM typing, but we're going to miss working on this story. Don't worry, though! There are plenty of one-shots planned, and the sequel as well. Thank you all for riding along with us on the emotional rollercoaster that is Little Secrets.
The fireplace blazed light and warmth into the living room, and the tree was, at last, almost finished. Having Richard, Lana, Lois, and Clark all under the same roof, plus the twins, had resulted in a couple of awkward moments, but nothing too serious. Humor and camaraderie prevailed over any lingering jealousy, in spite of the fact that this had so recently been home to Richard and Lois while they were engaged. Jason and Kala were oblivious to any discomfort felt by the adults, swept up in the delight of the brand-new tree and the hanging of ornaments.
"An' Mrs. Mosley says we're gonna make our own ornaments this week," Kala said excitedly, as Richard picked her up to reach a higher branch. "So we gotta save room."
"Oh, I think we've got room," Clark told her, levitating a few inches to adjust the star on top of the tree. "Is it still crooked?"
Lana took a couple of steps backward to see the entire tree. She was trying to be as casual about Clark's superpowers as he was, but it wasn't easy. Her high school chum could fly… "Hmm. Looks a bit too far to the left, now, but it could be me. Lois, second opinion?"
Lois brought six mugs of hot apple cider into the living room, pausing to examine the tree critically. "It's straight enough for me," she declared, and set the tray of drinks down on the coffee table. The twins hung up the ornaments they held and ran for the table, both of them picking a cup of this treat up. "It's still hot, you two. Blow on it before you take a sip," she warned. Both of them obediently did so.
"All right, then," Richard said, rumpling Kala's hair. "I think we're done for now." He chose not to bring up the discrepancy between Lois' insistence on buying the perfect tree and her willingness to accept crooked ornaments. They'd done enough affectionate bickering for a while. "I don't know about the rest of you, but my brain is still on Italian time and telling me I should be in bed."
"I'll second that," Lana said. "Lois, you're sure you're all right with us having the twins overnight?"
"Are you sure you're ready to have them?" Lois asked her in response, raising an eyebrow. She stared at her son, who noticed her eyes on him and beamed. Lois gave a soft snort of amusement. "These two are like lion cubs. They look cute right now, but after a while you'll see they're a handful."
Lana looked over at Clark and grinned. "You know them better than I do – are they worse than the Wilson boys?"
Clark groaned. "Oh, God. No one could be worse than the Wilson brothers! They used tie cans to cows' tails. One time they did that to Henderson's Angus bull, and he broke down four fences! And they threw cherry bombs down the school toilets…"
"Whoa," Lois said. "I thought that was an urban legend. You people actually do this stuff?"
"Oh, yes," Lana replied, shaking her head at the memory. "Shut down the school for a day because they blew up the water main. And they did that in grade school. When I had the misfortune to baby-sit them. I'd quit looking after them by the infamous cooking sherry incident when they were thirteen."
"Cooking sherry?" Richard asked, worriedly.
Clark filled him in, wincing at the memory. "The Wilson boys got drunk on it one Halloween – I think it was our senior year, Lana? Anyway, they had the brilliant idea to go out to this one hill by the side of County Road 210 where it goes around a curve. They piled up a couple of bales of hay they found in the field nearby, lit the stack on fire, and pushed it in front of a car coming down the road."
"Which happened to be the sheriff's wife," Lana supplied with a grin. "She wasn't hurt, but she chased those two boys back across the Roys' field. Called their mother that night, too, and she was waiting for them with their daddy's belt when they finally got home."
"Those were a couple of monsters," Clark said. "No, the twins are nowhere near that bad. Are you?"
At his sudden question, Jason and Kala stood up straight, trying to look innocent in spite of wondering just what a cherry bomb was. Lois chuckled dryly, "All right, you're qualified. Bedtime's at nine because it's Saturday, and no snacks after dinner. Don't let them – or the charming devil looking at me like I'm nuts – tell you any different."
"Ah, now we know who spoils them," Lana said, smiling at Richard.
"Hey, I know the rules; I even made some of them," he defended himself. "But then again, rules were made to be broken. Anyway, how are we going to work this? The Audi seats five, barely. Lois, it'd be easier if you'd…"
"No, you cannot borrow my car," Lois cut him off abruptly. "Out of the question. Forget it. It's not happening, Richard."
Richard sighed exaggeratedly, and looked over at Clark. "You know, we could solve this pretty quickly if you wouldn't mind picking up my car from the garage… And I mean picking it up."
Clark's disbelieving expression was priceless. "Richard, I don't use my powers frivolously."
"And adjusting the star on the tree was world-shatteringly crucial?" Richard asked, genuinely not understanding.
"Yes, well, someone would notice Superman flying around carrying a car," Clark reasoned.
"I thought you could fly faster than satellites can track," Richard said.
"Yes, but at those speeds your car might get dented by the air pressure."
"Never mind," was Richard's instant reply. Then he blinked and shook himself slightly. "Man, what a head trip. I hope you realize it's wrecking my mind to think that you – Kent, the guy I went to Mexico with, the only man on earth who's ever locked himself in the same men's room twice in one day – are who you are. With all the powers."
"The guy who caught bullets aimed for you in Mexico," Clark told him.
"Didja faint that time, too?" Lois snorted in amusement. Her sparkling eyes met his and they shared a grin.
"You caught bullets? Like real bullets?" Jason asked, wide-eyed. "Wow… Can we do that?"
"Not yet," Clark said, turning his smile on his son.
"Not ever," Lois added, giving both twins and their father a dubious look.
Richard glanced back and forth between them. "Why do I get this feeling I'm missing an in-joke?"
"The first day I met Lois, we got mugged in an alley," Clark informed him. "She wouldn't hand over her purse – she dropped it, and when the guy bent to get it, she kicked him in the face."
Richard burst into laughter. "Woman, you are crazy!"
Lois just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, the newbie superhero here grabbed the bullet faster than I could see, and pretended to faint while the mugger ran like hell. And then he scolded me for risking my life over the exact contents of my purse. The only reason I didn't catch on that quick was because Superman hadn't made his public debut. Wouldn't for another couple of days afterwards. Hello, x-ray vision, anyone?"
Chuckling, Richard grinned at Clark. "Now, if I you could loan out any of your powers for a day, that would be the one I'd choose."
"No," Lana said archly.
"You're a pervert, Richard," Lois said bluntly in almost the same moment.
"No, I'm not," he argued. "I'm a guy. C'mon, Clark, back me up. Don't tell me you never used that power for selfish purposes."
The look on the horrified hero's face was priceless. "Absolutely not," Clark said indignantly.
"You did once," Lois retorted almost smugly. At his incredulous look, she crossed her arms. "I have one word for you, mister. Planter."
Clark blushed, but replied, "You asked."
"Whoa," Richard said. "Fill us in on the backstory, please." At the look on Lois' face, he added, "Kids, why don't you head upstairs and pick out your clothes for tomorrow?"
"Daddy," they whined, but were so excited about this little 'night out' that they went obediently.
"Okay, so I assume you remember that interview, right?" Lois said with a sigh, hiding a smile. "The first one?"
"I Spent the Night with Superman. Yeah, who could forget it? It's framed and hanging on the wall right by the elevators at work," Richard said in a touch of sarcasm.
Clark stepped in to continue the story. "I'd mentioned that I could see through most things, and Lois asked me what color underwear she was wearing." He had to pause while Richard guffawed and Lois blushed slightly. "Unfortunately, she was standing behind a lead planter."
"Yes, well, the moment I walked away from it while I was trying to get my brain under control to ask you what your name was, you freakin' answered me about the underwear," Lois grumbled. "For about twenty seconds I wondered who the hell would name their kid 'pink'."
"I don't know what boggles my mind more," Richard said. "Lois asking a superhero what color underwear she was wearing, or Lois wearing pink underwear."
"Shut up," Lois growled. How did she always wind up coming out of these stories looking like a love-struck moron?
Clark chuckled as he added, "Or Lois the fearless commitment-hating reporter asking me if I was married. For what, the second question?"
Lois paled, looking absolutely shocked and mortified. Oh my God, I can't believe he brought that up! Kal-El! Richard just raised his eyebrows. "That never made it into the article."
"Yes, well, a lot of stuff got left out," Lois snapped, knowing her cheeks were burning. "Including the comment that you didn't have a girlfriend, but if you did I'd be the first to know. I wasn't the only one flirting. Thanks, Kal-El, for reminding everyone how flighty I was back then." She switched her narrow-eyed glare to Richard before adding, "As for you, Mr. White, you are so riding in the back of the Audi."
"You weren't flighty, you were just impressed," Lana opined. "Which anyone would be, I imagine. What's important is that it took a superhero to impress you, Lois."
"Exactly," Lois said, salvaging her pride. "Thank God someone's on my side. How weird that it's the one-time potential rival…"
"Lois, if we fought over a man, it would be an epic battle worth immortalizing in print and on film," Lana chuckled. "Fortunately for everyone, it all worked out right in the end."
"Amen to that," Lois replied, grinning. "It would suck for you to have to get your butt kicked the way you would if we'd decided to fight."
Lana actually gave an unladylike snort of laughter. "You think you'd win?"
Lois crossed her arms and looked at Lana appraisingly. Oh, trust me, I know I would. "Cheerleader, you'd go down like dot-com stocks in 2000."
Watching in amusement, Richard said in mock-serious tones, "Ladies, you mustn't quarrel. This is the season of peace, remember."
"Says the man who was bickering with his ex all day like he thought he was auditioning for a sitcom," Lana replied smoothly.
Before Richard could do more than laugh at her remark, the twins came barreling downstairs. "Jason's gonna wear green," Kala announced disgustedly, herself dressed entirely in red. "Again."
"Can I bring Gazeera?" her brother asked as he followed her into the room.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, the hotel doesn't allow pets," Lana told him. "I'm surprised they're letting me bring Richard."
"All right, kids," Lois said, smirking at Lana for the underhanded comment. "Richard, let's get these guys packed up, and I'll chauffeur you all over to the hotel. Kala, Jason – behave. I'm serious. This is a seriously fancy hotel."
"We'll be good; we know how to act in grown-up places…" Jason began, and then hushed himself abruptly at a glare from Kala. Clark just winced; would they be able to keep that trip to the jewelry store a secret, after all? Fortunately, everyone was too caught up in the logistics of getting Richard and Lana and the twins to the hotel to notice Jason's slip, and Clark breathed a sigh of relief. For now.
…
Lois was looking forward to an evening alone with Kal-El; Jason and Kala had been very affectionate with both parents during the last week, effectively becoming a cuddly barrier to any adult affection. Now, though, with Richard and Lana watching the twins, perhaps she could get some quality time with her favorite headline…
The moment she opened the door, the scent of something savory captured her attention. It smelled like… "Hamburgers?" Lois burst out laughing.
"They were in the 'fridge," Clark replied innocently, coming out of the kitchen with a plate for Lois. "And pierogies on the side – these are pretty good, actually, but you should really try some homemade."
Lois gave him a slightly odd look, then remembered. Of course he knows what a pierogie is – he's all over the world. "Thanks, love. I was getting hungry. But you do realize our first date was to a burger place. Our date in Smallville was a diner that served great burgers. And now you're cooking me burgers. This is becoming a theme."
"Don't worry, I'll make soufflé next time," he replied, kissing her forehead.
Lois tilted her head up, catching his lips for a quick kiss. Giving him a flirtatious little grin, she took the plate and headed for the living room, curling up on the couch to eat. Clark joined her, bringing his own plate, and chuckled at Lois having to pull her legs out of his way. Surprisingly for someone her height, she could completely take over the sofa with just her legs.
It was still strange for both of them to do something as normal as have dinner together while watching the news. When Cat Grant covered the landslide Superman had stopped that morning, Lois shook her head slightly. She couldn't resist a snarky grin. "You forgot your coat, huh?"
"I actually did forget my coat," Clark told her, taking a bite of his hamburger. He waited until after he'd swallowed it to add, "It turned out to be a convenient bit of forgetfulness, though."
The rest of the meal was livened by conversation about all of the little ways he managed to get away when people needed him. Getting locked in or locked out was a favorite, shortly followed by 'accidentally' leaving personal belongings somewhere. Clark had made quite an art of the quick escape over the years, and Lois couldn't help laughing every time she remembered something else he'd done years ago that sounded so goofy then, and was actually merely a cover for his heroics.
By the time they finished eating, Lois was in a very affectionate mood. The moment Clark returned from putting the dishes away she slid over into his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. Nestled together in the corner of the couch, they didn't need to speak, simply enjoying the closeness. Clark started running his fingers through her hair, and Lois sighed, her eyes slipping closed. That was so very comforting…
Until he stopped, and she could feel the sudden tension in his body. Lois sat up slightly, looking at him. "I have to go," Clark said regretfully.
Of course. The 'other woman' beckons… Reminding herself of the choice she had made, she only smiled at him. "Just when I was getting comfortable," Lois mock-threatened, but she slipped out of his arms willingly. "Go on, then. But you'd better hurry back. This is our first evening alone in a while, you know. And for a while, too."
He kissed her once, but she could tell his mind was elsewhere. "I love you. I'll be back." Then just that quickly, Clark was gone out the back door.
She stood up and walked out onto the porch, forgetting the cold and the snow as she looked up at the starry sky with a proud smile. "That's the problem with Men of Steel," Lois muttered softly, knowing he'd get the joke. "There's never one around when you want one."
…
King Kong was playing on the classic movies channel, and the twins settled in to watch it with Richard on the couch in the suite's living room. Lana had to take a few minutes for business; Kay gave Richard and the kids a fond glance while she waited for Lana to finish signing paperwork.
The redhead signed the last check and looked at her assistant. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"You get all the luck," Kay said quietly, then grinned. "The kids are even cuter than he is." Jason and Kala had, as usual, managed to charm her the moment they met. The twins had been wide-eyed with wonder at the huge tree in the hotel lobby and the evergreen garlands woven around every railing.
"I'll agree with that," Lana chuckled. "They are adorable. All three of them."
"Yeah, well, trust you to get the boy-toy with the cool accessories," Kay teased. "Anyway, I've got a friend in Metropolis who's complaining about not having seen me in ages. Mind if I leave the suite to you?"
"Not at all," Lana replied. "Have fun."
"Planning on it," her assistant replied. "You kids be good – you especially, Mr. White."
"G'night Miss Kay!" the twins called, and Richard waved to her. The next moment, King Kong appeared on the screen in all his badly-animated glory, and the twins returned their rapt attention to the television.
"Daddy Clark could beat up King Kong," Kala said after a while, watching the ape fight a pterodactyl.
"Oh, yeah," Richard agreed. "The monkey wouldn't have a chance against Superman. I mean, c'mon. Super-speed and super-strength? Kong would bite the dust. Not to mention heat-vision. Flash-fried Kong in three seconds flat." The twins giggled.
"I cannot believe I'm overhearing this," Lana said, pulling the chair toward them. "I also can't believe I'm sitting down to watch a movie made before any of us were born."
"Sit with us," Kala said pleadingly, and Jason echoed her.
Richard grinned and slid further over. "There's room."
Three sets of pleading gazes were too much to resist. Rolling her eyes at Richard, Lana joined the three on the couch. Jason was leaning against Richard, but Kala nonchalantly climbed into the redhead's lap, the top of her head nestled under Lana's chin. Hugging the little girl, Lana was surprised to realize how quickly she was coming to adore the twins. Going from occasionally envying their mother when she saw them to cuddling them had taken so little time, and happened so naturally. She glanced over at Richard with a soft smile, and he reached out to catch a lock of her hair and twine it around his fingers affectionately.
"Godzilla could beat King Kong, too," Jason said after a moment.
"Yeah, he breathes fire," Richard replied. "The lizard breath isn't as quick as Superman's heat vision, though, so it'd take longer. Barbecued monkey instead of fried."
That made Jason giggle again, and for the rest of the movie he and Richard kept speculating on which movie monsters would win in a pitched battle against Superman, Godzilla, or King Kong. By the time the movie was halfway over, they had gotten to, "Kong and the giant spiders against Godzilla" and Kala was getting very sleepy.
Lana, too, was feeling tired. She could blame the time change – it was past midnight in Milan, if only eight thirty in Metropolis. Kala yawned, and then tilted her head back to look at Lana with sleepy hazel eyes. "Miss Lana?"
The redhead smiled adoringly; this little girl was so beautiful, it was impossible not to want to hug her and cuddle her. "Yes, sweetie?"
"If you an' Daddy get married…" Kala trailed off as another yawn assaulted her, but she stifled that one, her nose wrinkling and her eyes closing as she turned it into a long sigh instead. Then she continued, "…an' if you have a baby, can I have a li'l sister? Cuz boys are kinda dumb sometimes."
Lana blinked at her in shock as Jason protested, "Girls are dumb too. Tea parties. Blah. Who wants t' go to a tea party where there's no real tea? And lotsa bears?"
Richard chuckled at the offended look on Jason's face, and said, "But if there are girls at those parties… Wait ten years, son. You'll understand." He glanced up at Lana, catching her dumbfounded look and grinning at her.
She caught the hint of a wicked smile in his expression, and looked back at Kala seriously. "Well, if I decide to marry your Daddy – if he ever asks me, properly – I'll keep that in mind. But it's not really my choice to make. It's the man who decides whether the baby will be a boy or a girl."
His jaw dropping slightly, Richard gave her an incredulous look. He was saved from any questions about the birds and the bees by Jason muttering grumpily, "Wanna brother. We got 'nough girls around here."
"We'll see what we can do about a sister for Kala," Richard replied smoothly. "Jason, you'll have to ask Mommy and Daddy Clark for a brother."
"Uncle Perry said she had a n'operashun," Jason replied, looking at him curiously. "Mommy can't have any more babies but us."
"If she really wants to, she can have another operation so she can have babies again," Richard told him, smirking as he thought, Okay, Lois, let's see what you do with this.
"That's cruel," Lana hissed, whapping his shoulder. "She's going to kill you when they start asking her to have surgery."
"Nah, you'll protect me," Richard replied.
"Jerk," the redhead muttered. As Kala yawned again, hugely, Lana hugged her and added, "I think it's time for me and the girl-child to get some sleep. We ladies know better than to stay up all night watching television like you boys." She leaned over to kiss Jason on the forehead, making him giggle, and then picked Kala up as she stood up from the couch.
"Yeah," Kala said sleepily, going limp. "Goin' bed. 'Night, Daddy."
"Good night, princess," Richard said. Lana leaned down so he could kiss her, and he added to the redhead, "They won't sleep apart. You'll have to put her in my room."
"That's fine," Lana said. Richard half-listened as she got Kala into her pajamas and coaxed her through brushing her teeth and washing her face. Then it grew quiet except for King Kong trashing New York. Jason sniffled a bit when the big ape died at the end, but by then he was too tired to empathize with the monster.
"You ready for bed, kiddo?" Richard asked, glancing at the clock. Ten minutes after nine – well, what Lois didn't know wouldn't hurt her. It was only a few minutes anyway; it shouldn't have required an act of Congress to finish the movie.
"Uh-huh," Jason said, rubbing his eyes. Richard shepherded him through the same nighttime routine Kala had followed. But when they reached the bedroom that had been set aside as Richard's, they found a surprise.
Kala was curled up under the covers, little more than her hair showing. Beside her, still dressed and stretched out atop the comforter, was Lana. Richard felt his heart skip a beat even as those lovely green eyes opened and met his gaze with an amused look. "She didn't want to be alone," Lana explained as she sat up. Jason toddled past her with a muttered good night and climbed into bed, Kala rolling over to snuggle with him. In moments the twins looked like one organism, a tangle of sleepy limbs and Kala's dark hair everywhere.
"How do they sleep like that?" Lana asked softly. "Can they breathe?"
"They'll be fine," Richard murmured, turning the bedside lamp on its lowest setting. "They thrive on it – they've never really been apart. They have separate beds in the same room at home, but whenever they have a nightmare or go somewhere new they have to be together."
That left the two of them standing in a bedroom together, albeit one presently occupied by two unconscious kids. However, Richard and Lana were both aware of her room in the suite… She went into his arms easily, running her fingers through his hair as she kissed him, and Richard hugged her tightly. The kiss, though very sweet, spoke more of leave-taking than passion, and he wasn't surprised when Lana drew back slightly to whisper, "Good night, Richard."
"Walk you to your room, Ms. Lang?" he asked playfully, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.
"Who could refuse such gallantry?" she replied with a chuckle.
With one last glance to make sure the twins were all right for a couple minutes, Richard walked back through the living room with Lana. At her door, however, he paused. "You know, ever since that night in Milan, you've been a lot more relaxed around me," he said, pausing while she kissed his cheek. "And a lot more affectionate, too."
"Well, you proved I could trust you," she whispered. "You might not share my beliefs, but you showed that you're willing to respect them. I don't have to be so careful now."
Richard smiled slowly, stroking her long auburn hair. He had always somehow known the moment in a relationship when he could take things further, and on that balcony in Milan had been such a moment. "Thank you for your trust," he whispered back, but the gleam in his eyes turned wicked. "Oh, I would've loved to make good on everything I whispered to you then. But not when you'd been drinking. I won't take advantage of you – that's not how I want it to be between us."
"Good," she purred, kissing the curve of his jaw. Standing on tiptoe to do it, Lana whispered softly into his ear, "Because the champagne didn't have much to do with it." While Richard held his breath, not quite able to process what he'd just heard, Lana kissed him again, her lips barely brushing his neck. Her warm breath against his skin made Richard inhale sharply. "And I love you all the more for not taking that advantage."
With that she was gone, a swirl of red hair and smoldering eyes as she escaped his presence and closed the door between them. Richard leaned against the wall, still feeling the press of her lips against his neck, images flickering across his mind that made him almost – almost – regret having done the right thing that night on the balcony. I think I'll have a shower before bed, he thought with a sigh. A cold shower.
…
When Kal-El finally returned from rerouting a storm to end a punishing drought on the Australian coast, the house was dark and Lois was already burrowed under her covers and deeply asleep. Chagrined, he had headed home to his apartment, vowing to make it up to her in the morning. That was why he was letting himself into the Riverside house at six o'clock, carrying the newspapers and some pastries from a great little bakery … in Chicago.
Lois was still sound asleep, and he moved quietly so as not to wake her. It took only a few minutes to start coffee, after all. He didn't want Lois coming downstairs until he had breakfast ready for her. While the coffeemaker percolated, Kal-El skimmed through several of the newspapers. He saved the best – the Daily Planet, of course – for last; it was the only one he took the time to read thoroughly.
A few minutes later he took a tray of coffee and pastries into the living room, where Lois lay under what seemed like a pile of blankets on the sofa bed. She'd still been unable to rest anywhere else in the house, and Kal-El almost hated to wake her now. But the only thing grumpier than Lois awakened too early was Lois allowed to sleep too late, so he placed the tray down on the end table and sat down on the sofa bed to let the scent of the coffee wake Lois up. Meanwhile, he started reading the Daily Planet, leaving the stack of competitors' papers beside Lois.
One hand had just ventured out from under the covers toward the coffee, shortly followed by her head as she peered out, when Kal-El opened the A-section and glanced at the editorial. The headline there – Why the World Needs Superman – and the byline – Lois Lane – made him gasp in surprise. Not a very beneficial reaction when you have a mouthful of coffee, and he had to splutter the hot liquid out of his sinuses before he could even begin to read her editorial.
Kal-El scanned Lois' words, his eyes growing wider and wider. They had long since discussed the infamous editorial that had won her a Pulitzer, and this one was much in the same tone. Hard-hitting, passionate, yet well-reasoned and deeply intelligent, it would have taken his breath away for the quality of the writing alone. Consider the subject matter – a staunch defense of him, and his actions, before and since his return – and that the writer was Lois, and it became one of the most stunning things he'd ever seen in print.
A perfect world would not need a Man of Steel. Such a world would have resolved its socioeconomic conflicts and be so enlightened that matters of race and class and religion were cause for polite discourse, not hate crimes. There would be no war, no crime, no injustice, none of the self-destructive tendencies of humankind.
But this world is far from perfect. Look around you; the crime statistics are only a few pages past this one. And I'm not only speaking of those obvious failures when human nature turns violent. Thousands starve while millions seek medical treatment for obesity. Some cheat on their taxes and complain about the price of luxuries, while others must choose between buying necessary medication and paying rent. Still worse, we burn through this world's resources at a shocking rate, and in the name of recreation we despoil far more than we could possibly use.
Our imperfect world survived for millennia without a hero standing ready to rescue us from our own foolishness. And if he were not here, we would be better served to carry on the work he was doing than to mourn the loss of him. That is the message I was trying to send with another editorial, titled very similarly to this one. What Superman does for us is, for the most part, no more than what we should be doing for ourselves.
But then, there are some things we simply cannot do. No one else can stop a raging forest fire with a single breath; no one else can steer a hurricane away from a heavily-populated coast. What we should have done in those circumstances – preventing arson or building our cities with an eye toward the weather – was past our ability to rectify. Then, we needed him to step in, to give us another chance. To plan better the next time, we need to have a 'next time'.
And still, if by some miracle the human race manages to get its collective act together, if we stop pretending problems will go away if we simply ignore them long enough, if all of us, this journalist included, manage to behave with compassion and decency toward each other and the world we live in, we will still need Superman. We need him to be the symbol of everything good in ourselves, all the greatness within us, every shining accomplishment we're capable of.
Think, for a moment, about the terrible devastation three people from his home world once caused here on earth. Superman himself has the same powers as those three criminals, and he could have been like them. Living on this planet, he could just as easily have become as cruel and tyrannical as the worst human dictators, and then surpassed all of them. Invulnerable, all-powerful, able to vaporize anything with just a glance, the familiar S-shield could have been a source of terror, not joy.
But in spite of being raised by so primitive and flawed (in the eyes of his progenitors) a people as ours, Superman managed to absorb the best of what we are and can be. Every mother who risks her life to protect her child knows the same love he feels for our entire race. Every police officer and all of the fire-rescue personnel in the world, if they are true to their calling, share his sense of duty. Every reporter who risks life and limb to hunt down the truth and drag it into daylight tastes the same sweet victory that he does. Everyone who toils day after day, week after week, year after year, trying to help the least fortunate among us, receiving little support and less praise for their efforts, every one of those is Superman to the people they aid.
In spite of ourselves, our weaknesses, our greed, our petty squabbles, we took the last survivor of a distant planet to our hearts and made him one of us. And he became what all of us could be if only we followed our better impulses more often, the shining example we need to guide us. As his chronicler, I can guarantee you that the thought of being anything other than who and what he is never occurred to Superman. The mere notion that anyone could suspect him of ever becoming a tyrant would leave him looking shocked and appalled. He shares that with the best examples of humankind as well – neither can imagine ignoring the call for help.
The world needs Superman for every person who is engaged in the same battle he fights, for everyone struggling to ensure that our kind has future. He is a reminder that their work is not in vain, that this imperfect world is not beyond saving, that the greatness of the human spirit truly exists outside the fanciful imaginings of poets. We all need him, not for what he does, but for what he represents and what he is: hope
At some point as he read the article, she had re-evolved enough to be sitting up and holding her mug in a death-grip, her eyes only slits against the daylight streaming in the windows. Lois slurped coffee beside him, and he turned to stare at her in astonishment. When had she managed to write this without him knowing? They'd been together well-nigh constantly, except for at night, but… One thought made it through the confusion in his mind: If you weren't already going to marry her, this editorial would be reason enough to propose.
Seeing his dumbfounded expression, Lois opened her eyes a little wider, blinking at him until her famously sharp mind warmed up enough to function. "Wha' you lookin' at me like that f'r?" she said fuzzily, then licked her lips and took another swig of coffee. "Did I grow 'nother head or somethin'?"
"Lois…" Kal-El couldn't say anything intelligible; everything he wanted to express was jammed together in his chest: amazement, wonder, gratitude, admiration, a whole stew of emotions.
She blinked again, yawned hugely behind her hand, and more awareness returned to those keen hazel eyes. "Oh, this must have something to do with you creeping out on me last night. So much for I'll be back, huh, hero?"
Instead of replying to that, he simply plucked the coffee mug out of Lois' hands and set it aside, ignoring her yelp of protest. Kal-El caught her to him and kissed her soundly, letting his mouth on hers say everything he couldn't find words for. When he finally let her go, Lois gazed up at him wide-eyed and finally fully awake. "Ooookay, what did I do?" she asked cautiously. "Other than yell at you?"
Kal-El grinned and kissed her again, gently, on the corner of her mouth. "Hope," he whispered to her, and his eyes shone with pride in the honor she'd given him.
Lois arched an eyebrow, her expression growing steadily more dubious. "Kal-El, you're acting weird even for y…" Understanding dawned, and Lois groaned. Already? Gee, thanks, Chief. "Oh. Yeah. Dammit, I didn't know Perry was going to run it this soon!"
A fleeting expression of dismay crossed her lovely features, and Kal-El cocked his head slightly. "What is it?" he asked, hugging her close again. "The editorial… Lois, it's amazing."
"No, it's just the truth," she replied matter-of-factly. And, from the look on her face, that was all there was to it.
"So why the look like someone just found out where you keep your lock picks?"
"Never you mind," Lois retorted, subtly putting her hand down atop the newspaper. "Now, if you really love me, go make me breakfast."
Now it was Kal-El's turn to look dubious. "You don't eat breakfast."
"I do today," Lois said pointedly, raising that eyebrow. "I woke up hungry from having to sleep alone."
In answer, he pointed to the pastries in the box on the table beside her. Lois looked at the box for a moment, bit her lip, then turned back to him. Well, crap. That didn't work. I have to figure out a way to get that damn paper from him… Okay, fine, I'll bring out the big guns. "Okay, here's the deal. This nightgown's pretty short and there's nothing under it, all right? So scram while I get up."
Kal-El blinked. She wasn't generally that modest, either … and he noticed just then the way that she was pulling the newspaper closer to her. There's something else she doesn't want me to read. "All right. I'm sorry, Lois – I'll be in the kitchen." With that, he stood up to go – and took his mug and the Daily Planet with him.
Oh, you sneaky little…! "Hey, I might wanna read that," Lois said sharply, her exasperation clear.
"You've got a whole stack of papers there," Kal-El replied, smirking while his back was to her. "Let me finish ours first. I read faster, anyway."
"Oh, give me a break," she huffed with exasperation. Getting up, she scooped up her mug from the coffee table, chasing down the last several gulps of the brew as she stalked past him. Thank God the heater was on or she'd be freezing her butt off. "Fine, now you're being childish. And I'm getting more coffee." Maybe I got lucky and no one had a chance to get it in print yet…
Kal-El chuckled as she breezed past him, remarking casually, "You're right, that nightgown is quite short. I appreciate the view, though." Then, ignoring her glare, he returned his attention to the newspaper, not bothering to unfold it as he skimmed through for mentions of himself or of Lois.
Only a few seconds later, he nearly choked on his coffee again. Lois barely had time to turn in his direction worriedly before he arrived at her side, staring in shock. "You gave back the Pulitzer?!"
No such luck. Making herself shrug nonchalantly, Lois poured herself another cup from the pot. "I wasn't meant to have it for that article. It wasn't even the article that won it; it was the sensation surrounding it. No point in keeping it. So I gave it back." Even now, she wondered that she had done it herself. The fact that she had been able to let it go without much grief was even more testament to it having been the right thing to do.
"Lois, it's the Pulitzer," Kal-El said, those blue eyes still wide with shock. "The Pulitzer. The award you wanted your whole life. The highest honor any reporter can ever receive. I don't even have one… And you gave it back?"
"'I don't even have one?!' What, just because you're Superman you think you're supposed to have a Pulitzer Prize?" Lois snapped, whipping around to glare at him with crossed arms, her coffee mug forgotten on the kitchen counter behind her. She was clearly still very touchy on this subject, and just as clearly Kal-El hadn't known about Perry yelling at her for the same thing. "Yes, I freakin' gave it back! The article was hugely misunderstood by ninety-nine percent of the people who read it! They gave me an award for what they thought was me telling you where to shove it! I should've never accepted the bloody thing, and now I can't in good conscience keep it, either. When I win the next one, we'll put the damn thing on the mantel and you can tell everyone you knocked up a Pulitzer Prize winner. There, are you happy?!"
For a long moment, Kal-El just stared at her. Then he dropped the newspaper, grabbed her shoulders, and kissed her resoundingly. That took Lois completely by surprise for the second time that morning, and she just blinked up at him as he hugged her. "You are amazing," Kal-El whispered as he kissed her again. "I can't believe… You wanted this ever since you were a kid, but your integrity is stronger than wanting to prove yourself once and for all. Lois, you never cease to amaze me – do you even realize just how much you mean to me?"
"You are seriously freaking me out right now, Kal-El," Lois deadpanned, still glaring slightly, her expression showing exactly where Kala had gotten her trademark pout. "What the hell is going through your alien brain?"
He just grinned. "How did I get so lucky as to find a woman this beautiful, this smart, this driven, and this ethical?"
"I guess you just happened to be under the right helicopter at the right time," Lois replied, smirking. "Got any plans for the morning, handsome?"
"Spending time with the loveliest reporter on earth," Kal-El said warmly. "We do have to get the twins back around noon, and if you have a spare key I'll just bring Richard's car so he can stop having fits. Other than that, I need to call Ma sometime today."
"Good," Lois said, and kissed him gently. "That means you can spend the whole morning with me."
…
Monday morning, the hottest story at the Daily Planet was Lois returning the Pulitzer. Everyone stared at her as she walked in, their expressions ranging from disbelief to horror to amazement. The raven-haired reporter just gritted her teeth, rolled her eyes, and stalked past all of them to her office. Perry grinned at her through the thick glass that separated their offices, and Lois sighed heavily as she surveyed the stack of paperwork on her desk. I am not an administrator. I am not an administrator. I ought to be out chasing stories, not calling the bloody IT department about this glitch in the email server … admittedly, they're used to Perry cursing them out and only pay attention when a woman snarls at them…
The other newsworthy event was Richard's return to work. No one else had really known where he was the previous week, and when questioned all he did was grin irritatingly. That resulted in Lois having to field questions about his whereabouts as well, which did nothing for her mood.
She stayed busy all the way up to the Monday Morning Massacre, and when Perry opened the meeting for questions so many were about Lois and the Pulitzer that he had to bellow for silence and deliver a three-minute diatribe on what exactly constitutes news – and information about a fellow reporter, printed the previous day, was not news. Clark couldn't even offer her moral support; he had been dealing with muttered whispers and a couple of outright questions since he'd arrived, all of which came down to other reporters speculating on the nature of Lois' relationship with Superman. He wasn't sure which disturbed him more – the people who gave him pitying looks, imagining that he was about to lose Lois to the hero, or the ones who smirked at him for having the chutzpah to hook up with Superman's girlfriend. That nickname seemed destined to follow Lois around forever.
The usual rush out of the Monday Morning Massacre happened to throw Richard, Ron, Lois, Clark, and Jimmy together as they tried to avoid getting trampled by reporters who couldn't stand being harangued by Perry. For the moment, Lois ducked over toward International, smirking a bit at the interns who hadn't quite yet figured out that they weren't going to be fired in the next five minutes.
It just happened to be time for the morning mail run, and a blonde paused long enough to hand Lois her mail. "Morning, Helen," Lois said, then did a double take. "Morning? You're night shift!"
"Covering for first shift's supervisor," the woman replied with a wry grin, adding as she turned to leave, "That was one hell of an editorial, by the way."
"Thanks," Lois replied, and then the crowd had thinned enough for the group to head for their own departments.
"Wait a sec," Richard said. "Lois, how the hell do you get your mail hand-delivered? Everyone else has to pick it up from the inbound basket."
"When I started working here, I was in the mailroom," Lois said airily, and headed for her desk. Richard just shook his head slightly as he returned to his office and the pile of work Perry had saved just for him.
At last, the bullpen seemed to have settled down, and Lois actually managed to get a few things done. Better yet, she snagged a tentative lead on a story to track down. Someone downtown was soliciting donations – sizeable donations, from what she'd heard – for the city's homeless shelter, but no one at the shelter had reported receiving such funds. Nothing like the holidays for a little fraud, Lois thought cynically. 'Homeless Shelter's Santa Was Really the Grinch,' or something like that.
It was close to lunch; she could just grab a hot dog or something and go stalk the story…
The bullpen was suddenly far quieter than it should have been, and Lois looked up warily. Everyone was looking over at International, where a very familiar redhead had just arrived. Lois cocked her head, wondering what Lana was up to as the other woman walked straight to Richard's office as if she owned the place.
He had stopped in the middle of what he was doing, getting up to open his office door with a huge smile. Lois grinned slightly, knowing that he would try to steal a kiss the moment Lana walked through the door he was holding so considerately. But to her surprise – and Richard's, from the look on his face – Lana stopped and handed him a white bag. That looked a lot like… Lucky bastard, he's getting lunch catered! Lois scowled, telling herself she might as well give up on the hot dog stand. Hadn't Clark told her about a great seafood place in Seattle…?
To her surprise, though, Lana turned and made her way back through International, ignoring the questioning glances of the reporters. She went slightly out of her way to pass Clark's desk and tap him on the shoulder; Lois ground her teeth with frustration when she couldn't see across the room well enough to read what they were saying. Lana continued out of International and through the bullpen toward Lois' own office, smiling warmly at her.
Lois leaned back in her desk chair with a smirk. Lana had barely opened the door to her office when the reporter said with amusement, "Presenting a united front, are we?"
The redhead's smile became a grin. "Well, I don't want to disappoint any of your employees," she replied easily. "We'd better not let them start betting on a catfight that won't happen."
"Aha. So you brought lunch to win me over? Best way to a non-rival's heart is through her stomach?"
"So Clark tells me," Lana replied. "It's not General Tso's, but I did pick up a Hunan-style entree you might like. They're calling it Hot and Spicy Peppery Chicken, and since you have to sign a release to order it, you should love it. I'm told you eat things that make grown men weep and beg for ice cream."
"That's because they're wusses," Lois said casually as she got up. "Lunch sounds evil; lead me to it."
"You're welcome," Lana chuckled, heading back through City as if completely unaware of everyone watching them. "Oh, and the last time I checked, the surest route to a non-rival's heart is watching bad monster movies with her kids and her ex."
"I warned you," Lois told her. "Didn't I warn you? Wait until Christmas Day. Richard thinks it's cute to go watch a gory, bloody horror film on Christmas Day. The more severed heads, the better."
"He's welcome to," came the swift reply as they crossed into International. "I'll be home watching Miracle on 34th Street."
Both of them were still laughing when Richard and Clark saw them walk in, the entire International department seething with jealousy as the scent of delicious spicy Chinese food permeated the office. Lunch therefore became a convivial affair, with much banter and affectionate teasing amongst the four of them. Even Perry quit glancing speculatively over into his nephew's office after a while.
When the meal was nearly demolished, Richard looked at Lana with an adoring smile and asked, "So, how come I'm suddenly so lucky that I have a gorgeous woman bringing me lunch at work?"
Lana rested her chin on her palm as she regarded him. "Well, darling, I didn't want any gossip about us to get out of hand. And most importantly, I wanted to make the point that all four of us get along perfectly well. If you haven't exaggerated the rumor mill around here, we needed a show of unity."
"Very true," Richard said, glancing around his office. "Half of them probably think we hate each other or something…"
He never got to finish the thought. Perry came barging in, bellowing, "Lunch break's over! Someone's holding hostages at the embassy!"
"On it," Lois and Clark both said in unison. He looked at her oddly and added, "Lois, it's foreign soil…"
"Bull, it's in Metropolis, it's City's story," she snapped back. Holiday fraud could wait for something this hot. But Clark was already getting up to head for the door, and Lois had to act fast if she wanted to outrun a man with super-speed. Perry saw the look in her eyes and barked, "You're not a beat reporter anymore, Lane!"
Lois shot out of her chair and kicked it into Clark's path, yelling, "Like hell I'm not!" to Perry. There was no way Clark Kent wouldn't trip over the desk chair, and Lana winced as he stumbled. But that gave Lois the head start to run out the main doors, grabbing the doorjamb as she almost slipped on the carpet trying to make the turn for the elevators.
"Bill, get after her!" Perry barked, throwing open the door to City. "Head Lane off before she goes haring off after this story!"
"No way," Bill protested. "She's been doing desk-work for four days, Mr. White – she'll tear my head off for getting in her way!"
Perry growled at the man's cowardice, but shook his head in defeat. Many of the older reporters snickered as Clark tried to disentangle himself from the desk chair, and tripped over it again. They had all seen Lane and Kent competitive over stories, and to them this was actually a sign of normality returning.
Clark recovered from the interference, managing not to damage the chair Lois had tripped him with, and made it to the doors just as one of the elevators opened outside them. The two reporters inside the elevator saw Lois heading their way and knew her well enough to dodge aside. She could hear Clark behind her, so instead of slowing down on the slick tile, Lois sped up. Laughing delightedly, she skidded into the elevator cab and slapped the button for the lobby before Clark even had a chance to beat her.
"Don't forget to pick up the twins, honey! I love you!" Lois called, waving merrily as the doors shut. Clark had to stop short to keep from running into them, and he scowled, watching through the metal as Lois descended. She was still laughing, those hazel eyes bright with mischief, and only he could hear her add, "Better luck next time, hero. I'm still the star reporter around here."
"We'll see about that," Clark muttered under his breath, heading for the stairs. But instead of going down to the lobby, he headed up to the roof to change suits. You might be the first reporter on the scene, but you still can't beat me there.
Back in the office, Lana, Richard, and Perry stood in the doorway after watching the spectacle. Perry sighed nostalgically and muttered, "Some things never change."
"No wonder he's in love with her," Lana mused, thinking that only Lois would ever have the ambition and the guts to kick a desk chair under Superman's feet. How could Clark not absolutely adore the one woman on earth who saw him as a man, not just a hero?
Richard, on the other hand, had a far more practical concern. "Well, that's them out of the office for an hour or so. What are we gonna do with their lunch? Everything in the break room fridge gets stolen… Then again, if any normal human tries to eat this stuff, it'll probably melt their brain. I've seen Lois eat a habanero pepper by itself for a bet…" As Lana turned to stare at him in purest horror at that last thought, Richard lifted the carton speculatively and glanced underneath. "If it sits here any longer, it may eat the desk. Uncle Perry, I'm dropping this in the fridge – if anyone leaves early because their mouth caught fire, we've caught our lunch bandit."