AN: Dude.. I feel like an ass lol I uploaded the same chapter twice. Don't kill me guys! lol Here's the REAL chapter :) Promise.
"Kagome-san?" Peeking inside the dark room, Rin slipped inside. For a week Kagome had remained in bed. She barely ate, hardly slept, and cried most of the time. Today was the first day she had not cried.
"Not today Rin." Her voice was so soft, so pitiable. Taking a seat beside her head, as she had been doing for the past few days, Rin stroked her hair. With a slight frown she noticed that Kagome needed a bath. Quite badly too.
"I'm sure Inuyasha-san wouldn't want you to be so sad. What would he say if he saw you like this?" Turning on to her side, away from Rin, Kagome sighed.
"Please go away Rin."
"I think he would be mad at you. Not because you didn't save him, not because you missed his burial, but because you're letting yourself waste away. I know I would be." With that she left.
Kagome lay there a while longer, her body aching and her mind in a haze. How long had she been laying there? How many days had passed since Inuyasha's death? Since his burial? Why was she still at Sesshoumaru's? What had possessed him to allow her to stay? Was she some bargaining tool? Would he use her against another demon? Over the years she'd honed her miko powers to the point where she could easily kill one if the occasion arose.
Weakly she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and scrubbing her cheeks. Her tears had dried and caused her skin to become stiff. Wrinkling her nose she frowned at the knots in her hair and the way her mouth felt as though she had eaten cotton. Her clothes were rough and smelled stale, her skin grimy. Sniffling she pushed away the strands of hair that clung to her face. Rin was right. Inuyasha would be infuriated if he saw her like this. Furious because she was wasting away when she could have been living life to its fullest. He'd always encouraged her to do all she could because you never knew when your time would come. He was the perfect example of that now.
Getting up she went to the sliding door on the far side of the room to the bath. Removing her uniform she tossed it to the side, stepping down the few steps into the onsen. Sesshoumaru had figured a way to tap into the natural springs and flow them through his palace. It was a luxury she relished. Natural salts and extracts sat in vials and bowls on the ledge of the bath. Plush, cotton cloths sat piled on a wooden rack beside a basin for washing one's face. The window above the bath allowed the cool, autumn breeze to enter the room. It was a pleasant contrast to the steam from the water.
When she was done with the bath she returned to her room, dressed in a tank top with a loose sweater on top and a pair of jeans, and began to clean up. Stripping the bed of the sheets she wrapped them into a ball, placing them outside the door to her room. Taking her bag she moved it to the corner, out of the way. Opening the shutters she then opened up the doors to the balcony. Kagome stopped short once she saw the view.
Behind the castle the mountain dipped into a slight valley, wild flowers growing all about. At the far end was a lake, enclosed by rolling hills and tall trees. The breeze that blew up was filled with the sweet scent of the earth and the crisp freshness of the season. All of the scents combined reminded her of some distant memory, one her mind couldn't quite piece together but recognized none the less. Placing her forearms on the railing she rested her chin atop her hands, staring at the drifting clouds. How had she gotten to this place?
Sesshoumaru threw open the door to what had become Kagome's room. Enough was enough. The miko would have to get over her grief some time. Now was better than later. He was tired of hearing her cries in the dead of the night, tearing his mind to pieces. If his heart dared to extend to her he might have been heartbroken by the sounds. Instead they crawled under his skin, urging him to take action. And so he did. Besides, he needed Jaken in his study not out in the fields with Rin. He was fully prepared to forcefully remove Kagome from the bed. Entering her room to find the bed freshly made, the balcony doors wide open, and her things put neatly away was not something he had expected.
"Where is the miko?" A short, lean fox youkai bowed before shaking her head.
"I came to retrieve her breakfast tray to find the old sheets outside the door and the lady missing. Forgive me Sesshoumaru-sama." She bowed once again as he left.
Whatever had possessed him to take the miko into his home in the first place? She was his half-breed brother's wench. Some ningen woman he barely knew aside from several chance encounters. True, they had worked together over the years for the same goal. But she was nothing to him. So why had he taken pity on her? That same sensation that had overcome him when Rin had begun to follow him had consumed his mind once more, urging him to take her in. To give her a place to stay.
His mind reasoned that she was the perfect caretaker for Rin. Jaken was getting on in years, his little body no longer as agile as it once was. He would give him another decade before things took a turn for the worst. As irritating as he could be it was better to have him at his side in meetings when he was working on treaties. At the same time he didn't trust the youkai in his castle to look after Rin. Not when he had already received several threats against her life. That alone was enough to infuriate him.
Rin was his charge, the only person he would admit to ever caring about. The little girl had grown on him, had taken a deeply seeded place in his heart. To leave her in just anyone's hands would gnaw away at the back of his brain each and every day he left her. Could he trust any youkai in his land to watch over her very life? The fact that he couldn't answer that unnerved him and simply proved how much more effort he needed to put in to restoring his land. All the time he'd spent chasing Naraku had kept him from his duties as the Western Lord.
This led him to the miko, Kagome. True, she had traveled with the one person he loathed most in the world. But her strength had been proven time and time again. Aside from her current break down she was possibly the strongest human he'd ever encountered that didn't possess some charm of sorts to enhance such features. Her audacity and stubbornness irked him yet awkwardly enough pleased him. No one dared speak against his word and he liked the fact that he could have spats with her. It was different.
For some reason he felt assured that she would protect Rin with her life. She had always taken care of her in past encounters. Every time he had seen her she'd been with that fox-kit, although he couldn't recall its name. Her motherly instincts were spot on. She was just what Rin needed. He as a male could not offer the advice that a woman could. Nor could he give her survival speeches as their species were different. He knew next to nothing of the ways of ningen women. The miko could teach Rin things he never could.
"Sesshoumaru-sama, where is Kagome-san?" Rin's voice brought him out of his thoughts. The back gardens were Rin's favorite place to go when she was bored.
"She will be with you by lunch." Leaving her to plant bulbs for next season he followed the faint scent of sandalwood. It seemed that the miko carried that with her wherever she went.
He followed her scent past the gardens, down the stream that led to the outdoor onsen, and past the stone wall that surrounded his immediate grounds. Walking along the wall for quite some time he stopped when he saw her. She sat on the wall in the strangest garments he'd ever seen. Then again, she was always dressed in things he didn't understand. Some of them, such as the uniform she had worn for so long, were quite inappropriate in his eyes. If she were to stay with him he'd have to give her a new wardrobe. Standing several feet behind her he was able to see that she was entranced by the light reflecting off the lake.
"You have a beautiful home, Sesshoumaru-sama." The fact that she had recognized his presence without having to see him was impressive.
"Are you ready to accept your duties or do you wish to leave?" Turning so that she now sat facing him she smiled softly. As sad and dark as her eyes were it was interesting to see her attempting to appear her normal self.
"I will stay and take care of Rin. It's the least I can do after what you did for Inuyasha and me." Sliding off the wall she landed somewhat gracefully, her odd shoes seeming to absorb the shock of the jump. Leading the way back to the castle she followed.
"This Sesshoumaru is glad you were well enough to get out of bed today. Rin has been concerned for your health. She is an energetic child and caring for her is quite time consuming." To hear him speak was new to her. Sesshoumaru had rarely spoken in the times she'd met him. If he had it was because someone was in his face or he was fed up. Things sure had changed since she'd first entered the well.
The rest of the walk back to the main grounds was silent, as neither had anything worth saying. It was obvious that Kagome was still engulfed by despair yet was trying her best to go on. What was he to say to that? He knew not how to cope with such things. Especially not since it was his hanyou brother that had caused them. He had paid his respects to his deceased brother, despite the fact that every fiber of his being despised the hanyou. If he had not gone, however, it would have been dishonorable. His kingdom was in enough turmoil. He didn't need the youkai thinking he didn't follow rules or tradition. This Sesshoumaru ruled with an iron fist, and he'd be damned before letting his subjects think he was anything other than competent. After all, he had his father's shoes to fill.
"Thank you for allowing me to stay. I know it must be difficult with the rumors of a revolt going around." How had she known?
"With someone to watch over Rin I shall be able to seek out and crush the rebellion in a fraction of the time." Entering the back doors he turned to her. "Rin is in her room. You shall play with her. When it comes time for lunch you shall sit with her."
"Does she have a tutor?" His brow shot up under his bangs.
"Why would she?"
"With all due respect, she is your ward. It would only be proper that she be educated."
"I have no time for such trivialities. She is only a girl."
"If she were to be educated it would reflect well upon you. What youkai would ever expect you to take the time and ensure that she knew the ways of this world? It would make it much less likely that she be taken advantage of by a youkai of lower status." For a moment he simply stared at her, making her skin crawl.
"You wish her to be educated? Then you shall be her tutor. I expect reports of her progress periodically. At the beginning, middle, and end of every cycle of the moon. Is that understood?" Nodding she bowed slightly.
"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"And you shall not wear any item of clothing you own as long as you are in my care. I shall have a new wardrobe brought up for you." When he had reached the end of the corridor he paused. "Rin is on her way down to the main hall. I expect you to meet her there and not leave her side." With that he turned and disappeared around the corner.
Standing for a moment in the hall she realized she had no idea where the main hall was. Aimlessly she set out, searching for anything she might recognize. After fifteen minutes of roaming she sought out a servant. He was of medium height and had a muscular build. Pointing her to the corridor she needed he then turned abruptly on his heal, his disdain rippling off him in waves. Having another human in his care would not make things any easier for Sesshoumaru. When she arrived in the main hall Rin was sitting at the bottom of the stairs with a doll in her arms. Her smile was bright as she leapt up to greet Kagome.
"Kagome-sama! You are feeling better now?" Forcing a smile she reached for Rin's hand.
"What would you like to do? We have about an hour or so before lunch." The smile on her face was so bright it warmed her dead heart.
"Can we make a flower doll for my doll to play with? She gets lonely." Hugging the doll to her chest Rin looked up at her, her chocolate eyes shining.
"Sure. Let's go to the gardens. There are beautiful flowers in the one to the east that will be perfect to make a doll with." Rin practically ran to the garden.
The entire time they walked and sat in the gardens Rin talked. It was nice to not have to say anything in return. Rin started talking about how Jaken never built flower dolls with her and always complained about spending so much time with her. In all honesty, he was probably the closest thing to toy she had aside from that doll. Rin said it was exciting to have another girl to play with. When asked if she spent much time with Sesshoumaru, her face became downcast.
"He doesn't have time to spend with me. In the beginning he would take me everywhere with him." She smiled softly, weaving the skirt onto the base of the doll. "After two years he couldn't take me with him anymore. When his okaasan brought me back he didn't want to risk my life again. He would try to stop home once every moon cycle. Soon it became every two, every three, and then once I didn't see him for nearly a year. That was right before the war.
"He came home five nights before the battle. I was happy because I thought he'd be staying. Sesshoumaru-sama brought me this doll, and had new kimonos made for me. Every night he'd sit with me, and during the day we'd go for long walks and he took me to the onsens. When he left for the war, I thought he would never come back. Now that the war is over he spends most of his time in meetings visiting with other lords or working in his study. He might as well not even be here, just like before." Kagome reached out and stroked Rin's hair, smiling softly.
"You must get so lonely." Shaking her head, the little ponytail on the side of her head bobbing about, she grinned.
"Jaken-sama was fun to play with even though he didn't like spending time with me. But now I have you. I think it will be nice. Shippou-san always seemed to enjoy being with you." Shippou. How was her little fox-kit doing? She ached to hold the little youkai in her arms again, his fluffy tail tickling her nose as he slept above her head. Reaching for Rin's piece she used the long stem of a flower to stitch the two halves together, using the actual flower as the bow for the obi in the back.
"Perfect. She looks beautiful, don't you think?" Rin's smile once again set warmth in her heart. Perhaps staying here wouldn't be too bad.
"She's wonderful. Thank you so much Kagome-sama." A bell tolled lightly through the air. "Time for lunch. I'm so hungry!" As they stood to walk inside a brisk breeze blew past them. Colder weather was fast approaching. The flowers could only survive this for a few more days. Following Rin inside she joined her for lunch.
Sesshoumaru never joined them, the long dining table seeming ominously intimidating for the two of them. Rin didn't seem to mind as she eagerly ate the meat and vegetables placed before them. After the meal she took Rin to her play room. Since she didn't have the appropriate tools with her she requested two quills, parchment, and ink. Her first act as Rin's teacher was to show her how to draw the first fifteen symbols in hiragana. Rin was quick to learn, and when the two hours were over she was anxious to learn more. Kagome simply instructed her to practice the symbols and assigned her to write each one twenty times and memorize the sounds they made. She was surprised to find that Rin got right down to it, rewriting the symbols over and over again. The poor girl was thirsting for knowledge.
"Lady." The foreign voice startled Kagome. "Lord Sesshoumaru wishes to see you in his study." Glancing at Rin as she struggled to hold the quill and write she smiled. She then followed the toad out of the room.
Upon reaching the door to his study, some many corridors away from Rin's room and on the second floor, Jaken told her to wait. His tone was disapproving, and his gaze contemptuous. Moments later he emerged rubbing his head, cursing profusely under his breath. With a wave of his staff he permitted her entrance. Hurriedly she rushed inside, not wanting to risk getting hit by his staff. Sesshoumaru sat behind a large oak desk piled high with papers and scrolls. Glancing up at her he motioned for her to shut the door and come closer. Once she was before his desk she bowed low.
"You have summoned me, Lord Sesshoumaru?" It took several moments before the taiyoukai spoke, as he was sorting through one of the many stacks of papers.
"I will be leaving for a village to the east in the upcoming weeks. The miko of said village is said to be gathering an opposing force to my rule. I must go there and make peace with her and the village master. You will come with me." She couldn't help but fidget, the action catching his gaze and earning a scowl. "Stop that wretched movement. You give yourself away like a deer in an open field."
"Forgive me Sesshoumaru-sama. I was just wondering of what use my presence would be on such a journey. Rin has only just begun her lessons today."
"Rin's lessons may wait. If you desire her training in your absence then leave work behind for her to do on her own. A miko would never listen to a youkai, especially if she already has her mind set against him. You will persuade her to listen and to sign the peace treaty." Kagome suddenly remembered how Inuyasha would flinch whenever she knocked one of her arrows and set it alight with holy power. Sesshoumaru didn't want to be purified. The idea was enough to almost make her laugh. Almost.
"Of course. I will leave a booklet of studies for Rin-chan to complete."
"Also, you will not wear those clothes. A tailor will find you by this evening and have you measured for your kimono." Glancing up he frowned once again. "Leave." With a startled intake of breathe she bowed once more before turning on her heal to leave.
Jaken's glare as she left was enough to send chills down her spine. She was no fool to believe for one second that her presence in this place was welcome. So why was she staying? She had lost everything in this time; there was nothing here for her. She might as well go home and continue living her life. But there was a little girl here that she could help. There was something she could do here and now, in this era. Perhaps she was trying to make up for Inuyasha's death. To alleviate the guilt she felt over not making it back in time. And as it were, she owed Sesshoumaru a debt for saving the foolish hanyou the first time. Whatever the true reason was, she realized that she could never go home. Going home meant the end of all she had known in the Sengoku Jidai. It was the last sentence of that chapter of her life. Call her selfish, but she simply did not wish to let go.