Chapter 12: Scared Much?

Draco just stared at her. He didn't know what to say. He tried to tell her how he felt. He tried to be what he thought she wanted. And this is what he gets?

Ginny took a breath and finally said, "I'm going to go now. Trust me, you don't want this."

"Want what? Ginny for once in your life stop being cryptic. If I wanted to be confused I'd go read Shakespeare! What are you playing at?" Draco asked throwing his arms out. He was getting frustrated with this whole situation.

"This! Me! You don't want to be with me!"

"Why is it so wrong for someone to want to be with you?"

"You don't want to be friends with me."

"I know! I want to be more than friends with you! Why won't you let me?"

"Look into my eyes and see just where I'm at. I'm a complete mess and wreck. You can do so much better. Not because of what you are, but who you are when you actually let someone in. I thought I could get that to come out of you, but I can't even fix myself. I'm broken up inside and not even I can fix me," Ginny cried. She hadn't opened up to someone like that for a long, long time. Not since… Tom.

"I think you're just scared of letting someone come near you. And I don't know why! But I wish you would just let people. They're not going to wait around forever you know…" Draco said, quietly. You could tell he was upset, confused, angry, at what she had just said. Ginny slowly walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're right. I'm sorry. But I just can't. I can't take a risk right now. Only something big will induce me to let someone in and I don't know when that will happen." She pulled away and started walking towards the doors. She looked back one last time and locked eyes with Draco Malfoy. And suddenly, she felt like she had lost the one thing she had wanted the most. Someone who would see her. Tears welled up in her eyes and she made a run for it.

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Poor Ginny was so exhausted by the entire night. She just wanted to go to sleep. But obviously someone out there didn't want her to because the second she came into the common room, Harry jumped up out of the couch.

"Ginny? Ginny why are you doing this? I don't understand why you can't stay away from trouble and Draco Malfoy. Please just listen to me, I need to tell you something that I've been wanting to say for a while now…"

Ginny stopped and glared at Harry. The tears had dried by now. There was nothing but anger left. "Piss off Harry. I don't give a flying monkey's butt if "I'm torturing your poor heart" because I wasn't aware of it. I am doing what I think is right for me. Not Ron, not Hermione, and especially not you."

Harry was slightly taken aback. "So then you're fond of Malfoy, right?"

Ginny just stared at him. But finally she had to say something. "No. I'm not fond of anyone. Because I can't even make myself happy. Why would I want to add another person to the list of who I've disappointed in life." And with that, she finally got what she wanted. Sleep.

The next day Ginny avoided everyone. Or maybe everyone was avoiding her? It didn't really matter to her. Twice she saw a head of blond hair dart around the corner and twice her heart skipped a beat when she hoped it was Malfoy. She then twice mentally yelled at herself for hoping for someone she tried to push away. Harry on the other hand, seemed to be pretending like the night before didn't happen. He smiled at her, tried to talk to her. And she appreciated him not being weird about what she said. The day went seemingly well until late afternoon.

Bella and Luna wanted to work on some Charms work and careless Ginny realized she had left her book in the library.

"Are you trying to flake out of doing your work?" Bella asked, as she picked up her things.

"Of course not. Look I'll be right back. I need to go get my book and then we can study," Ginny replied, hastily throwing things into her bag.

"It looks like rain," Luna said in a sing song voice.

"Luna, the sky is clear. How does it look like rain."

Luna turned to Ginny instead of Bella and simply said, "You can smell it in the air, don't you think, Ginny?"

Ginny gave her a quizzical look and walked off in the direction of the library. It didn't take long to locate the book as there was no one else there. Who would be in the library on a Saturday. As Ginny reached for her book she noticed something that nearly gave her a heart attack. Her bracelet. Her left arm did not have her bracelet. She dropped her book on the floor as her hands flew up to her mouth. She hadn't had her bracelet for at least the whole day! Where could it be? And then a glimmer of hope popped up when she thought it might have fallen during Quidditch practice. Again, forgetting her book, she dashed out the door and right into Harry.

"What's your hurry Ginny?" Harry laughed as he caught her.

"I forgot something. Tell Bella I'll meet her in the common room!" She yelled as she spiraled around him and ran down the stairs.

Finally she reached the Guidditch pitch. She was very much so out of breath and her side was killing her. She started walking the stands where they had sat in the morning, wishing to see the sparkle of a silver bracelet with a heart charm on the end. She couldn't loose it. It was her favorite. As she realized it wasn't in the stands, Ginny started to have a panic attack. That meant it had to be in the grass somewhere! It would take all night to find! And how was she going to find a 7 inch piece of chain link silver in all that grass? Call her crazy, but Ginny made her way down to the grass anyway. To add to it all, it started to rain. Yes rain. Curse Luna! Ginny thought, as she was soaked to the bone on her hands and knees. This was pointless. It was gone. She rolled over on her back and spread her arms out and began to cry as the cold rain drops hit her face. She finally stopped crying, when she realized it won't help her find the bracelet. And for all she knows, it probably wasn't even in the field. She started to laugh. Because there just wasn't anything left to do. However, the next thing she knew, she heard someone walking very fast towards her yelling, "Are you crazy!"

"Yes. I'm quite sure I am most days. And on top of that, completely and reversible screwed up," She replied through fits of laughs and giggles.

"You'd have to be since you are lying here, in the rain, without even a cloak," Draco Malfoy said, as he smiled down at her.

"you're just as crazy as me for being out here in the rain."

"Yes quite possibly so, but I was smart enough to bring a cloak."

Ginny then stopped laughing and instead began to cry again. Draco didn't know what to do. There was a girl, spread eagle on the wet grass, looking up into the sky as the rain drops rolled down her face, slacks covered in grass marks, crying, and he was still positive he had never met a more beautiful girl in his life.

"Yeah… could you possibly stop crying? It's making me uncomfortable…" Draco asked, hands in his pockets as he looked away from Ginny.

"I can't help it. It just keeps happening."

"Right… well could you at least get up and put this cloak on?" Draco asked awkwardly. He really didn't like these touchy feely situations.

"I'm not taking your cloak Draco Malfoy. I'm already wet. I don't see why you should get wet as well," Ginny answered in a monotone voice.

"Now I know you are crazy for sure because had you been sane, you would have realized that I would not give you a cloak if it meant I was going to get wet. I meant the one I have with me," Draco responded, as he dangled the cloak over her head.

"Do you always carry an extra cloak with you? Because it seems to me like you brought it on purpose."

"Yes, I often go walking in the rain in hopes of finding a girl that needs a cloak," Draco said as he pulled Ginny up on her feet. He pulled the cloak around her, and put up her hood for her. But he did not remove his hands from the hoods edge.

"How did you know I was out here?" Ginny asked, lifting her eyes up to him. Her cheeks were slightly pink from the embarrassing stance they were in.

"I saw you running over the lawn from a window and I knew you'd get wet so I decided to follow you. Not to mention its dark out and there are weird things in the forest. Wouldn't want to have you get killed."

Ginny breathed in awkwardly. She didn't know what to do. "Way to make the situation uncomfortable Malfoy."

"Why don't you let anyone in? Why don't you let ME in, Ginny Weasley? You don't know what you want. You just close yourself off whenever someone does something nice for you. But you make it seem like you have no problem with them till that point. Why don't you just make up your mind?" Draco asked, dropping his arms by his side.

Suddenly Ginny's eyes regained their fiery brilliance. "Why don't I make up my mind? You're just as lost as I am! For the past 6 years I have seen you make fun of people and point out their faults for the world to see, but not once did you talk about yourself. And then out of the blue you start acting nice to me. After 6 years or more making fun of my family, my connections? You choose to start acting civilly to me now? And you say I'm lost and need to make up my mind?" She grabbed the front of his cloak and pulled him closer to her. She could feel his unsteady breath on her cold face. "Am I right?... I ask you, am I right."

Thanks to Jacc, die Loreley, eliana-moran, lostinsidesaveme, Jessica Halliwell Potter, andarrestingseraph for reviewing my little story here! It is greatly appreciated.